A strong thesis is just as important. I believe that establishing face-shooting as the theme of the piece and then continuing throughout by emphasizing that central idea would have had a more effective impact on the reader.
I have always been keen on the “thesis, antithesis, synthesis” model:
in this case, Thesis: Don’t rob me.
Antithesis: The other place has better stuff than me.
shit! I forgot ot add the synthesis: I’ll fucking shoot you if you come in here.
And all is well in the world.
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