Since none of you filthy peasants know jack shit about the manly sport of soccer, I suppose I should explain what a simulation foul is.
A simulation foul (known in the US as diving) is when a soccer player fakes an injury (preferably one ‘deliberately’ inflicted by a member of the opposing team) to try to get an advantage through a field kick or a penalty kick. In the best case, simulation gets the opposing team a yellow card; if the simulating player is not so crafty he will receive a card himself.
Simulation involves either exaggerating the injury from contact or, in some extreme cases, pretending contact happened where it didn’t.
So now that you know what simulation is…this ain’t it. Well, it sort of is – I’m sure that’s the foul that would be called – but this is like the difference between fake-humping Dave in Texas and actually letting the tip slip in.
Since none of you filthy peasants know jack shit about the manly sport of soccer
I know that there are hot guys who are frequently shirtless. That counts, right?
Also, until the day I die, I will never understand the offsides rule. Yes, it’s been explained to me several times. Yes, there were puppets involved. No, I don’t get it.
You really need to come out here during soccer season, when one of the season ticket holder parties is happening. We can find one of the B-team guys to sit you down and explain exactly what offsides is. You still won’t understand, but a young hot guy will be talking to you intently for an extended period of time so whether or not you understand won’t matter.
Newsletter etc.
So, Soccer is basically the same as Professional Wrestling without the integrity. Got it.
Oh my God, I just laughed my butt off, that was hilarious!
Especially the announcer saying sarcastically in Spanish, ‘PLEASE… this is unbelievable…oh please….’
If you think soccer men are hot, you should try watching Rugby.
Seriously, I have no idea how Rugby is not vastly more popular in the US, especially with the female population.
Simulation is one of the reasons I HATE soccer. Mind you, I have a solution that gets rid of it (not that they’d ever implement it). If a player is SOOOOO injured that they must stop play, he has to sit out the remainder of the match. I mean, we wouldn’t want to make his injury worse, right? Players taking a dive then must weigh whether that fake injury is really worth leaving the game over or not.
Incidentally, this is a good metaphor for similar behavior in politics.
Dems/ Republicans, Palis/ Israel, etc.
I’m pretty sure that diving is one of the reasons soccer has a hard time getting much of a following from Americans. Honestly, who likes/tolerates a flopper?
Oh and since this is a subject about as exciting as math, I must adhere to the stylesheet:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3254/3121858399_59dae28c91.jpg
Fake wha? Huh? What? What’d I do now?
In hockey they penalize you for flopping.
Thank Billy Smith for that one.
He was one of the greatest, non-Italian, floppers of all time.
What do they do with the cards in soccer? Collect them, save them, trade them with their friends or is there some sort of action?
Give out a pink card for flopping, it’s like a red card but gayer.