Bold, decisive action required

Posted: July 24, 2012 by Sean M. in FAIL

A lot has been said about what needs to be done in the wake of the massacre in Colorado, but most people seem to be turning the same tired, old solutions, so here’s my (ahem) modest proposal: Starting immediately, every adult shall be sworn in as a police officer.

Think about it. If anybody is law-abiding, it’s cops, right? No more crime. Anywhere. And cops–as gun control advocates will tell you–are the only people with the proper firearms training, so if everyone is a cop, everyone will be able to carry a gun safely. Furthermore, cops are the kind of public sector employees that everyone (well, everyone who matters, anyway) agrees we need more of, so there goes the unemployment problem. And you’ll never have to mutter about how there’s never a cop around when you need one because there you are.

It’s really quite elegant in its simplicity.

(Okay, maybe not, but it’s no stupider than this.)

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Comments
  1. Andy says:

    Excellent. You should run for mayor.

  2. xbradtc says:

    Reblogged this on Bring the heat, Bring the Stupid and commented:
    Heh.

  3. David Navarre says:

    Brilliant. This is the kind of outside the box thinking we need more of. It may also solve the drug problem because everyone would be a narc too!

  4. veeshir says:

    Brilliant!
    Do I get a whirly light for the top of my car?

  5. alexthechick says:

    That is an awesome idea! Plus I already have handcuffs so I’ve got a good start on the uniform.

  6. Kowboy says:

    Switzerland issues every Adult a firearm and trains them to use it. Everyone talks about how low the gun related crime rate is in countries with strict gun control laws, but they never mention that Switzerland has the LOWEST gun related crime rate of ANY civilized country. Maybe your idea isn’t so bad after all

  7. Dr Spank says:

    I’d rather be an astronaut. Or a cowboy.

  8. I approve this message.

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