Ahhhh, it’s that time again. Time for manly men to rub up against each other, grab each others’ balls and jump on top of each other into big piles and get all grabby under the pile.
Huh, it sounds almost as gay as soccer when you put it like that.
Eh, who cares? Tonight is a great start to the season, because it’s what football is all about.
Making Cowboys cry.
Dear NFL, next year get some decent strippers, the ones you had this year weren’t very attractive. (sspspspspspspsp).
Oh, they were singers? Well, next year get strippers. Only a very small percentage of your audience is interested in either of those two, more than half your football audience would tune in for strippers. As it was, we were all watching Cash Cab, waiting for 5:30. Oh, and Boycott Lemur King. A million monkeys typing at a million keyboards would all blow their own brains out if they actually put out what he blogs.
Now back to our regularly, scheduled post.
The second half of the title is an aside. I’ve been substitute teaching, I started in May, did some other stuff over the summer where I made 3X the money, and then quit that job I hated and I’m back to subbing until I get my regular teacher cert.
Tomorrow the class I’m teaching will be watching The Day After Tomorrow. I just can’t wait. I’ll have to be careful, but I’m going to ask them questions, make them answer them and maybe, just maybe, I can show 30 kids that Gorequemada’s crockumentary is about as much a documentary as Zombieland.
And if anybody says Zombieland is a how-to-survive-the-zombie-apocalypse documentary, I have three words for you: magazine-fed-weapon.
Anybody who thinks a double-barrel shotgun, a mare’s leg with a capacity of 6 rounds or fewer or even a shotgun with an 8 round tube mag are guns to be using against zombies, well, have fun being a zombie.
NOT SO IMPORTANT UPDATE:
Well fuck. Veeshirs are crying instead. That’s not the way it was supposed to end.
And to add insult to injury, I had to listen to those three idiots. Eh, it could be worse. The 70s had worse ass-kickings with Dandy fucking Don singing, “Turn out the lights, the party’s over” and Cosell intoning about how the Cowboys are great.