Archive for January, 2013

Why am I Pastor Pink?

Posted: January 31, 2013 by doubleplusundead in FAIL

Because you’re a cheap, classless bitch, that’s why!  Seriously, it’s no secret that if you’re in a large party, most chains run an auto-gratuity at somewhere between 15-20%, usually 18%.  This has been the case for a decade or more now, and we all know why that is.  The waitstaff has no control over that gratuity add-on in a chain, so why take it out on them?  And now this waitress gets shitcanned?  Pastor, I hope you become internet famous for this bullshit.  I think you will.  And I hope the waitress gets hired by someone else quickly.  I’ve never worked a day in a restaurant, and I fucking LOATHE non-tippers.  LOATHE. THEM.  No respect for themselves, or the waitstaff.

I wanted to do Drudge style, but that’s not easy. I probably won’t even be able to do Puppy Blender Style.

Proof Obama has gone  skeet shooting(at least twice)  NPR gets excited.

skeet

 

(I worry for the dog*)

The UN doing what it does best: Jews Out of Judea.

Does anybody think this is on accident? “The Chicago home where the late President Ronald Reagan grew up is slated to be demolished and potentially turned into a parking lot for President Obama’s Library,

Minorities worth less to CNN:Many staffers were stunned when Feder constantly complained that the viewership of “Early Start” and “Starting Point” was “too ethnic,

Heh Increase in plant food grows more plants. Film at Eleven.

Personal foul: Illegal use of hands.Former NFL offensive tackle Kwame Harris reportedly was scheduled to appear in court Monday on assault charges stemming from an argument with his ex-boyfriend over soy sauce and underwear

Soy sauce and going out with guys. Hmmmmm. Lemur King was unavailable for comment.

Marco Rubio’s pander on immigration might be a good thing. I’ve heard that song before. I didn’t like it the  first eighty times.

Syria says Israel flew under radar level, I wonder if Israel stealthed their jets or have stealth jets. Syria did admit it was a weapons facility. direct strike on a scientific research centre in charge of raising our level of resistance and self-defence,

That’s it, for a true puppy blender style there would be about 40 more posts. How does he do it day after day, year after year? I can’t imagine. He does provide a valuable service, I hope he makes decent money from it. We certainly don’t see any of that sweet, sweet blog money. I figure AliceH keeps it all.

*This link and Pshop was from yesterday, I forgot it. That guy does great Pshops but has never once given me any firewood.

And yes, in case any of you were wondering, I do make myself laugh. I’m my own best audience.

Sonomabatch. I wrote this post about an hour ago but I had one last link and when I hit it, I got a pop up that when I closed,  closed every window and tab opened and the autosave draft was useless. That’s too bad, because that was possibly the best blogging I’ve ever done and it’s all gone.Seriously, the bon mots were especially bon.

The theme was “Send guns and money, keep the lawyers”.

I know, I shouldn’t use ExplorerNetscape…Firefox. Can we get to when I’m not supposed to use Google Chrome? That’s the only browser I don’t like.

So here we go round the tubes. Again.

First in send guns edition, we get a police commissioner doing two funny things, telling the truth both about the law and his intentions and talking about wanting to make guns even more illegal to get them off the streets. The law won’t do crap, he wants to ban handguns and making them more illegal will take them off the streets. Oh, and he’s an idiot who doesn’t understand cause and effect.

So let’s hear it from Ray Kelly in the NY Post, explaining why we can’t be trusted but he can.

While assault rifles serve no legitimate hunting purpose, and their ban would be a welcome advance after the Newtown slaughter,…

By contrast, a total of 77 assault weapons were seized in arrests in the city, less than 3 percent of the total.

In only three of nearly 1,400 shooting incidents last year were ballistics associated with assault weapons.

 

So, assault weapons bans are useless even if they’re effective (which they aren’t, aside from only banning scary options, those guns were probably already illegally possessed), but those guns are scary so let’s ban them.

But then we get to the meat(head) part of his ‘argument’. The ellipses above took out talk about how handguns were mostly used in crime. Which handguns were probably nearly exclusively illegally possessed as it’s very hard to get a permit in NYC unless you’re one of the bien pensants (only thinking bien thoughts and, more importantly, supporting bien pols and bien positions while giving lots of bien money).

Back to Ray. He tells us about a specific gun (Ruger) used to kill Teh Children, then explains why making guns even more illegal will be good and then this.

Ninety percent of the guns used in crimes in New York City also originated out of state, with Virginia, Pennsylvania, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina and Florida among the most frequent repeat states of origin.

 

 

Love that, most originate out of state. From which states the most? We don’t know, he just says these are some of the places, notice he only talks about free states, but I wonder how many originate (were stolen) from Conn., Mass, NJ and Vermont? Especially since Vermont has some seriously lenient gun laws and shares a long border that’s mostly a lake (Champlain) that leads to 87 which leads directly to NYC. Hmmmmm, now why wouldn’t a leftist, authoritarian not refer to a leftist state with a Socialist senator?I’m stumped.

He disregards that 90% of the guns come from out of state (I would bet that, like 42% of all statistics, that 90% is completely made-up), what the hell does he think is going to happen if we make guns illegal in the US? That’s right you fucking moron, criminals will get guns from out of the US. Mexico has a nice pipeline of illegal people and good flowing in, that should pick up the slack. So I won’t have a gun, but Putin, Chavez’ successor and the gov’t of Mexico will be more than happy to sell AKs(first two) and ARs(ours, sort of a lend-lease from Mexico) to our criminals. Yay! Asshole.

Speaking of which, here is the pdf of the scary options banned.  I look forward to Bushmaster’s new line of AR-15s (or whatever they call them) with a smooth, fixed, pistol-grip-less stock and deluxe, target barrel with no bayonet mount that comes with a 7-round mag. No shoulder thing that goes up, but that goes without saying. (or ever rationally thinking)

Next, we have my favorite type of op-ed, when one of our “Elite” looks at an issue  for the first time, shows he has never, ever read any gun-blogger or 2nd amendment proponent talking about gun laws and is stumped. He looks at the proposed gun laws and finds they won’t really do anything, they’re not ‘rational’.

This heightened “rationality review” could help ensure that the reason being articulated is the real reason for the law.

Bwahahahahahahahahhaha. The reason for the law is never the reason being articulated. Especially when talking about gun laws. The reason behind gun laws is control. When a law claims the death of a child or children as its patron, you have to accept that the people proposing the law are dancing  in the blood of that child or children and look at the law accordingly. It’s not rocket surgery.

Wow, this time is longer, sorry. I was less loquacious earlier. I had only had one cup of coffee at that time.

Next, we have stuff heating up in Lebanon with Israel bombing along the Syrian-Lebanese border.  Eh, you know them Jews, probably a baby-milk truck convoy. Bastards.

In ‘Send Money’ hilarity, we have another ‘Elite” furrowing his brow and not understanding reality.

Headline

US debt headed toward 200 percent of GDP even after ‘fiscal cliff’ deal

How do you respond to that? This fool thinks that raising the borrowing limit was supposed to lower debt.

See, this is my problem. When people who think they’re intelligent actually say stuff that fucking stupid I can’t help but laugh and explain in great detail exactly how fucking stupid they are, or I just keep my mouth shut. I wish I knew some way in between, but when I try my tone of voice screams, “You fucking moron!!!!!!” or is the tone you use when you explain to a 2-year old why they don’t want to put the kitten in the microwave. You use a totally different tone of voice when you’re telling the 2-year old why you should put the kitten in the microwavce.

I lost some links, so even though this time is longer, there are fewer links. So less for more. Another victim of the Obama economy!

I’ll leave you with an absolutely beautiful way to get college girls to sleep with you while not costing all that much money (certainly not considering you’re buying in bulk). Via Wyatt.

The University of Minnesota is spending $3,400 to host a symposium this spring specifically designed to help its female undergraduate students achieve bigger, better and more orgasms.

 

I’m a little depressed I didn’t think of that.I wonder how they’ll do it. I figure, you put all the girls in the gym on the mats, get them naked and tell them to start touching themselves while you and your assistants will wander the roome and help them as you see necessary. Not forgetting, of course, the important role blowjobs play in the female orgasm.

If the nearest bar doesn’t have “Ladies Night” right after the Symposium they’re idiots.

Well, that’s that. I will say that using a laptop outside in AZ is not all that easy. I get to watch myself type in the screen and I can’t see the cursor for crap.

Dethpicable is the theme of the day.

Updated later, I meant to include this seeming despicability, but it’s more nuanced.

Berlusconi, second longest Italian PM to Mussolini, said that aside from all the Jew-hatred, Mussolini wasn’t so bad.

People are all OUTRAGED!!!

Let me comment. I have lots of Italian family members (some might or might not be related), I have a ‘cousin’ in Italy who was with the Italian army in North Africa, there were probably others, but we drank some vino and talked about it. His version of WWII was wandering around Africa until they found some Americans to surrender to and then they threw a party. He really didn’t want to go there to fight, neither did his whole unit (corps? Division? Army?)

He, and all my Italian relatives who were alive in WWII, had the same attitude toward Mussolini, never did a better leader have a worse people. They all felt kind of bad they let him down. It’s a funny sort of deal. They’re all northern Italians, Sicilians might have a different attitude.

Now back to the post.

First up in our tour of the tubes, we have some cumming.

So Obama the other day casually mentioned how he goes skeet shooting all the time. Now naturally, the Minitrue employeed just nodded and cummed (they do that whenever Obama talks), but everybody not making their underwear sticky thought, “Well, that’s a lie”.

What we’re seeing is that Obama can literally say anything that pops into his head and the despicable Minitrue will just nod, cum and accept it so his lies are getting even more ridiculous. I anxiously await his telling some Minitrue tool about his first miracle.

Important update

Via Ace, we see The New Republic seeing a p-shop where someone took the golf club out of Obama’s hand and put in a shotgun, they then started cumming and posting one-handed about how this oughtta shut up them wingnuts.

Now back to our regularly, scheduled post.

Next we have something that illustrates so helpfully exactly how full of Jew-Hatred our tolerant, loving neighbors in EUnuchstan really are.

On Holocaust Day the London Times ran this cartoon showing a caricature Netanyahu (now with extra-Jewish features!) building a wall using the blood and bodies of the peaceful Egyptians and Jordanians who live in Gaza and the West Bank. The cartoon is so despicable, you would have to be steeped in hatred to not say, “Well that’s fucking despicable.”

Next in despicability, we see that ABC interviewed Menendez and didn’t ask about his problems with underage hookers. Further, they knew in March and April that he was being investigated but kept it quiet, can’t have voters get confused about whether to pull the lever for an (R) who wants to kill children or a (D) who just rapes them.

It’s For The Children of course.

Now we’ll have some global warmmongering despicability.  Now I figure that most of the adherents of that religion (who aren’t making money or power off it) actually have faith, it’s the poo-bahs who know the truth and lie out their teeth for power and money I find despicable. In that link, we see that electronic vehicles help curb global worming (made up problem) at the cost of raping the environment because of all the pollutionistical batteries.

Well duh. Any engineer could have told you that, further, I would dispute that it saves on green house gasses (plant food), making electricity ain’t free. Just cuz the car doesn’t spew CO2 doesn’t mean the electric generator down the road doesn’t.

I can’t do any more despicability, how about some hilarity?

Next we have talk about how Minitrue and other media outlets (TV, Movies, etc.) try to demoralize their hated enemies (me) but we can’t put up with it!

Me? My fellow Americans demoralized me when they voted for free shit and re-elected Teleprompter Jesus.

What the demoralizers don’t understand is that I’m not really demoralized, I’ve given up trying to stop the end or even hoping that we can avoid. See, I’m not upset that lefties rule, I’m more worried about what happens when their unsustainable programs stop. What happens when people who have been told for 60 years that they deserve free shit and they don’t get that free shit? Trouble, that’s what’s gonna happen, it’s gonna be ugly. I’m not joking at all when I say the asteroid is the best option.

Now we something that remoralizes me, at least lets me know there are people on my side.

Seattle had a gun ‘buy-back’ program (a lie in the title! They’re not “buying guns back” unless you accept that the gov’t owns everything and just lets us use some stuff for a while) and it ended up being a gun show. The cops were offering

$100 for handguns, shotguns and rifles, and $200 for assault weapons

So some freedom loving Americans were offering the people selling their dead grandfather’s guns a lot more than $100
for handguns, rifles and shotguns and were also offering over $1000 for that “$200 assault rifle”, so this “buy back” program was a roaring success. We saved more guns from being destroyed.

It’s funny how often capitalism surprises our fine political, social, intellectual and moral betters.

In further non-despicability blogging, a blegging.

For Buy a Gun Day, since my next gun purchases are going to be high end that I can’t afford, especially in the current climate, I think I’m going to get a sword (I might get a recurve bow as well).

I’m thinking of Cold Steel swords. I’m leaning toward this “Italian long sword” but this “Hand and a half sword” could be the choice.

Anybody have any ideas on where to get a good sword? I’ve heard Cold Steel is pretty good, nothing super spectacular, but good steel and good swords. I’m not going up against the Dread Pirate Roberts (or even Inigo Montoya), but I do want a nice sword and I don’t want a katana.

Now, the hotassery. Wyatt had a post on Taylor Swift and I realized that, even though she creeps me out, she’s freaking hot.

(more…)

Quotes of the Day

Posted: January 24, 2013 by veeshir in Moron of the Day, This Is My BOOMSTICK!

Two quotes of the day today.

Yeah, they probably weren’t from today.

Shut up.

First up, in talking about a new Japanese “invention” that’s an ‘anti-loneliness, miso soup bowlwe have this

One of the guys opined that it should be given the model name “Miso Ronery”

Why do I have the feeling I’ll be explaining that burst of laughter to someone after I die?

Next we have our own LC Aggie Sith! with a beaut.

That door a criminal breaks down? Yeah, that was there to protect him from my Beretta.

That burst of laughter? Not a problem.

What steams me about this is that both of those quotes were told to that no-account Lemur King.

I refuse to link him because it’s Day 3 of his avoiding talking about the murderiferousness of his minions.

The silence is sickening.

Let’s go round the tubes today, January 15 or so, 2013.

First, we see some unintentional hilarity/scariness. Via the puppy blender, with this link to a story about the coming revolution in China. With a “wink-wink/nudge-nudge’ involved, if you ask my personal opinion. Why is that? you ask?

I don’t like questions much, but this once I’ll let it slide and answer. The puppy blender quotes a bit, my comments in bold.

One key indicator is that those with access to the levers of power within the ruling order cease to believe in the religion or ideology that legitimizes the regime(like Dem voter fraud, fighting for voter fraud in the form of fighting against voter ID laws, prominent supporters ignoring the rule of law, like all the tax cheats in his admin, Holder and Obama skating on Fast and Furious, Obama and Hillary skating on Benghazi, David Gregory skating on blatantly breaking a DC law that all the Important People believe is stupid, (to enforce laws against Important People Making Points))). Another is that their underlings also gradually abandon the beliefs that render respectable the rule of their masters (I lived in DC and worked in the federal gov’t and deal with the DMV, bureaucrats hold us and the law in contempt, just look at the fucking EPA). This happened some time ago in China, and there very nearly was a revolution at the time of Tiananmen Square. Tellingly, the key players among the young at that time were often the children of party officials(you know, the Occutards). . . . The Tocquevillian account of revolution fits the Arab Spring, the eruptions in eastern Europe in the 1980s, and the collapse of the Soviet Union to a ‘T (Gee, which democracy did Tocqueville write about? I can’t remember, Australian maybe).

 

Huh, why he could almost be talking about America.

The article goes on to say this

Then, the crucial question is whether those in charge have the nerve to try to crush the rebellion and whether their underlings will follow orders. If the powers that be are hesitant, ambivalent, or divided, if their underlings are fed up, things can very easily come apart

 

China, remember, he’s  not talking about the gov’t taxing us to fucking death while giving the money to their supporters and trying to take away all our guns and us saying, “Fuck you.” He’s not Bob Owens after all.

RTWT. It’s a good article, about China and America, it also shows that while we’re pretty fucked, the rest of the world is exponentially more fucked.

Next, we have our fine, media betters just doing their job, attacking gov’t officials who say stuff they think is ridiculous.

In this case Terry Moran (of CNN, I think) is attacking Rand Paul (of Kentucky, I think) for attacking Obama (of America, I think). As Ace notes, it’s a question of standards. Rand Paul doesn’t meet them. We’re seeing the playbook against that stupid, snowbilly Palin being used against others now. And recall who helped those attacks, the establishment GOP. They don’t like upstarts anymore than the Dems do.

 

Now let’s point and laugh at NY.

First, we have this high-larity, via Say Uncle.  This is an onion of hilarity, there are so many layers with each being even funnier than the last. Well, except the last one. That’s less funny than the previous one but more funny than the one before that.

In the first layer we have the Dems vehemently and furiously denying they want to take all guns as they’re spreading their plans to take all guns and/or harass all legal gun owners. Sorta funny, but so predictable it’s the “why did the chicken cross the road” of the endily funny.

Then we have the fact that they shared it with a Republican, obviously secure in the knowledge that said Republican was of like mind and knew to keep stuff from the hoi polloi. Pretty funny but it loses something as it’s not new to anybody paying attention and seems new to those who don’t.

Then we have that they’re arguing it out in the papers. I mean, they’re talking about keeping the people from knowing about their position on taking all guns by calling the Repblican a meanie for wanting to tell people they want to take all guns. That’s the funniest part for me as I get to watch “journalists” say stuff that boils down to, “Well, he changed his position because of the polls and I think this new pander will work well with the voters. Don’t you likeminded, elitist douchetool?

Then, we have another “journalist” doing his job; protecting Democrats. The headline of the piece is that the Dems want the Republican to stop talking about their secret memo, but there is this in the article

But if Republican Assemblyman Steve McLaughlin is to be believed…

 

See, so even though the Dems admit the contents of the memo by the very act of trying to stop its publication, this piece of….’journolist’, has the fucking balls to write that.

Layers folks, it’s the suggestive sell of the Funniest End of Civilization Ever, it enhances your experience.

Next in NY (and journalistic malpractice) hilarity, we see that NY has very high natural gas prices just in time for the global worming caused extra-freezing conditions (formerly called, “Winter”). The article blames all manner of things, from Bush to cold to evil genies (I may not have read the article), but it doesn’t blame the one thing that might have been responsible for not providing more natural gas to NY.

The state fracking ban. You see, NY doesn’t need more natural gas or more jobs, they’re doing fine thank you and NY politicians smugly preening for the cameras over a totally bullshit enviro-wacking “concern” is far more important.

 

Last but not least,we have Day 2 of Lemur King ignoring his people’s murderous rampagedity. Not just ignoring the issue, but taunting all right-thinking people!!!!!! Recall that his murderous subjects attacked a child, and he writes a light-hearted post about his child!

The dastard!

Remember, don’t link him or talk about him or go to his site. And you should click through and tell him I said that!

 

This seems appropriate for some reason.