Round The Tubes: Failure, Leadership Edition

Posted: January 22, 2013 by veeshir in FAIL, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP FAIL, Government FAIL, Mideast Madness, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, This Is My BOOMSTICK!, Union Wins Again

First up, we have Leadership that’s a failure.

Headlining our failed “leaders”, we have everybody’s favorite Mitch McConnell! Give him a hand.

Once again we have him demanding, DEMANDING!!!!!, a budget. I’m sure the Dems are just a shaking in their shoes over his threat.

Republicans have repeatedly attacked Senate Democrats for failing to produce a budget.

Yes, and then what did they do each and every time?

Both parties avoided a government shutdown in December by passing an omnibus spending bill for 2012.

See, that’s what you and I would call a budget, but McConnell allows the Dems to do this so they, the GOP and Minitrue can say it’s not a budget to keep the stupid, unhelpful, tea party (terrorist) minority that’s taken over the country from knowing how bloated it is.

Which means this scares the shit out of me.

And the email pledges that McConnell will oppose any extended gun-control measures

He’s up for re-election in 2014, so I have high hopes, but I also worry that he’ll try to make it get done quickly so people will forget by next year.

In Lebanon we see a failure to provide any leadership is having Hezbollah fill the void.

Salafi Sunni Sheikh Ahmad al-Assir accused Hezbollah of distributing weapons and drugs to Sidon youngsters as well as training them to fight on their side.

Yay! Let’s get southern Lebanon all armed up with Hezbollah fighters! I’m sure that since they’re in the gov’t they’ll have to moderate. You know, just like Hamas moderated after they took over Gaza.

Speaking of feckless GOP “leadership”, this is a failure in leadership. I mean, they’re providing leadership, but I call it a hugh, fucking stick in my eye FAIL!

the House GOP Leadership made an important twist in their plan to pass a short-term increase in the debt ceiling. Rather than increase the debt ceiling by a few hundred billion dollars, buying them time for further talks on the budget, they have opted to “suspend” the debt ceiling.

Okay, so what does that mean?

Upon enactment, the government’s borrowing authority would be unlimited until May. Presumably, the government could borrow trillions in this window, providing either the markets or the Fed would meet the new supply of debt.

Man, they sure stood up to Obama on that whole debt thing, just like we were promised!!!!!

Motherfuckers.

Next, we have a failing leader ((non-sarcastic) Yay!!!!) and they’re wondering who will take over.

There are two main guys under Chavez, Cabello who’s in charge of the military wing of Chavez’ dictatorship, and Maduro who’s in charge of the civilian side, I’d suggest that means, secret police. Hmmm, a civil war between the secret police and the military. Should be interesting. It’s not as if Venezuala provides anything important on the international stage like iPods or Xboxes.

So far they’re all buddy-buddy, and are showing their strength by going after an evil, right-wing TV station that, against the law, read a part of the Constitution over the air that Chavez didn’t like (Huh, I hope Obama isn’t reading that article).

In another failing leader, we have bombs going off in Damascus. Yay! Terrorists blowing up terrorist supporters! That’s win/win.

Here we have a man who’s not so much a failure as a leader as that he fails to understand how to provide leadership but others take up the slack and things get done, he doesn’t really understand how or why, but he knows he’s great. Can you guess who? That’s right, Teleprompter Jesus himself, Obama and his amazing skittle-shitting, unicorns for everyone budget!

A mini-fisking, I’ll be in bold.

The President’s 2013 Budget is built around the idea that our country does best when everyone gets a fair shot (sociallism), does their fair share (more socialism), and plays by the same rules (except his supporters and most especially his administration). We must transform our economy from one focused on speculating, spending, and borrowing (capitalism) to one constructed on the solid foundation of educating (teacher unions), innovating (green boondoggles, Solyndra writ large), and building (the infrastructure he keeps talking about but never gets around to using those $trillions to actually do anything about). That begins with putting the Nation on a path to living within our means (that ship sailed, we elected you, but no Obama speech is complete without a bunch of howlers) – by cutting wasteful spending (the military), asking all Americans to shoulder their fair share(tax increases for everyone!), and making tough choices on some things we cannot afford (the military), while keeping the investments we need to grow the economy (food stamps, welfare) and create jobs unemployment). The Budget targets scarce federal resources to the areas critical to growing the economy and restoring middle-class security (welfare, food stamps, unemployment): education and skills for American workers (teacher unions), innovation and research and development, clean energy (Solyndra), and infrastructure (it’s like a tic, he just adds “and infrastructure” to every pronouncement. Heaven help us when he focuses on jobs again).

Now that’s leadership! If you consider screwing me and paying off his supporters leadership I guess.

There is some good news, Americans are noticing that their “leaders” are failing to provide leadership and are only looting the fisc.

that when Americans were asked whether they had a positive view of the country, only 39% agreed.

Everybody is pissed at everybody else for voting for idiots and assholes is how I read that.

Dutch leaders decided that they hated a huge part of the reason for the tourism they see, so they decreed that coffee-shops would only sell pot to Dutch. It ends in Fail!

Many Dutch mayors, particularly in the main cities, oppose the new law and do not intend to enforce it. They say it will cause more problems because foreigners will purchase their drugs from dealers on the streets. As a result, over half of all coffeeshops say they will continue to sell soft drugs to foreigners.

If half say they will, I’d bet more are not willing to admit they’re going to ignore the law, and if the mayors are not in favor, the police won’t be in favor so another leadership Fail!.

We’ll end on a somber note, a most heinous failure of leadership.

Two lemurs on the loose have been captured early Monday morning after police say they received a report that the lemurs attacked a 2-year-old girl in South Florida.

Bastards!

I feel that this incident reflects very poorly on the very top of lemur society, the king himself!

Now more than ever, the lemurs are crying out for a revolution!

And people wonder why I boycott him.

Update: I updated this a little to fix mistakes and insert words I forgot to insert.

Important Update (not like that slacker one)

Can I get a Heh?

Eric found it. 3 million views, it’s probably old but still pretty good. Except for the Glock part. Needs more 1911s.

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Comments
  1. […] Especially since this was entirely predictable. […]

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