I’ve been ignoring the Funniest End of Civilization Ever lately. I mean, it’s impossible to not see it, but I haven’t been posting about.
So let’s get funny and let’s get endy.
Before we start I want to let you know I’m trying something that I hope doesn’t blow up the tubes. I’m putting this in Fail (for obvious reasons) and Win (for the awesome shotgun in the last link), sorry if this causes any problems.
First up, remember when writing a memo saying making foreign terrorists uncomfortable made John Yoo a criminal?
Well, that was the before, we’re in the now. Apparently writing a memo saying it’s okay to kill Americans (not hassle furrin terrorists but kill American citizens without a trial or anything) is perfectly okay.
What makes that funny (and endy), is that those two things together make sense to much of our country.
In lese majeste news, Jammie Wearing Fool notes the Wash Post is talking about M’Shell’s ass but buries the lede if you ask me. From the Wash Post link I ain’t linking those yellow journalistical assholes.
“Fat butt Michelle Obama,” said Bob Grisham, a high school football coach who was surreptitiously recorded by one of his students. “Look at her. She looks like she weighs 185 or 190. She’s overweight.”
Grisham, who was suspended Monday…
Noticing M’Shell’s huge ass is doubleplusungood and must be punished. Free speech? Only if you’re not talking about our Nannarchs.
Pre-Benito-Giuliani, NYC was “ungovernable”, then Giuliani showed you don’t need to govern, you just need to go after the bad guys. That was the before and we’re in the glorious now with Bloomberg trying to rule (not govern) and discovering it’s not that easy, so now they’re having flash gangs around the city destroying businesses and there’s nothing the poor cops can do.
Instead of making it easier for businesses to defend themselves, I look forward to NYC having a text message snooper. After all, the Founding Fathers never contemplated flash gangs when they wrote the first and 5th amendments.
You see, whenever a statist fucks up it’s not his fault, it’s the fault of Teh Peepul and they must be punished.
We’re selling stuff to Central American countries to fight the “Drug War!!!!“, it’s funny, Ronnie Raygun sold weapons to central Americans to free themselves from commie dictatorships and he can never be forgiven, Obama is selling advanced stuff (night vision goggles for instance) to corrupt countries who will immediately sell it to the drug lords and he’s our God President. I can’t get deluxe night vision goggles but Obama is providing them to the Medellin Cartel and he’s the Greatest President In The History Of Everything! Yay!
So as in Libya and Syria where Obama is fighting on both sides of the War on (Some) Terror, here he is fighting both sides of the Drug War!!!, it’s not funny and endy for nothing.
A little enditious levity (warning, unsafe, enemy link to the Gruaniad), the Norks have released a new “We’re Gonna Kill You All!!!!!” video, I guess they’re running out of food for the Army again.
So why is that funny? I mean, except for the whole, 2 year old temper tantrum aspect of everything the Norks do?
Important update, I changed the link as the first one was taken down, this one might go down too as there are multiple copyright violations, they stole We Are The World and video game footage.
It’s set to We Are The World (we are the children). Fucking hilarious. Apparently, the Norks are going to send missiles, that turn into anime space shuttles that attack some planet (not Earth), then fly around and attack Earth. Or something.
This is still my favorite, inscrutable Nork oddity, but that vid is darn inscrutably weird.
Seriously, what the hell is that all about?
A little pre-revolution hilarity.
Argentina announced a two-month price freeze on supermarket products Monday in an effort to break spiraling inflation.
Remember Al Gore saying our cars couldn’t be sold in China cuz of their super-duper pollution laws? What made that funniest for me is not the idea that he was praising a commie hell-hole, it was the Asian Brown Cloud, a big, brown cloud of pollution that hovers over eastern Asia. Mostly from our fine, clean Chinese bankers.
So now Japan is getting a little taste of that clean, clean Chinese air and they ain’t liking it.
News programs have broadcast maps showing a swirl of pollution gathering strength across China and then spreading out over the ocean toward Japan.
Poor bastards, they live on a earthquakiful island, they get nuked by us, then by themselves (Fukushima) and now they’re getting all polluted on by their fine, mainland neighbors. I’d get new gods if I was them. Eh, could be worse, they could be Jews I guess. At least the Japanese did not have to wander the world for 2,000 years only to finally get their country back but now it’s in the middle of the people who hate them even more than the Europeans who tried to kill them all. So they have that going for them.
A little pants-wetting hilarity from our fine, leftist betters (unsafe, TPM link). Talking Points Memo is all afraid of survivalists in Idaho whose major goal is to get the rest of America to leave them the fuck alone.
They got ‘permission’ from the ATF to make their own guns and TPM wets their pants, hides under the bed and calls mommy.
You know, cuz buying guns is so much harder than making them.
Why do I love America? Because we’re the right kind of fucking crazy.
Yesterday Say Uncle linked a post with the picture of the day.
It’s a mag-fed, pump-action shotgun (not Moe Szyslak’s double barreled pump alas) so today Caleb (he of the pic of the day) has another post where he tells you can get the stuff to make it yourself, it’s the cheapest Mossberg (good gun) with the mags (5 round stick and 10 round drum).
That is my favorite type of some.
Have fun folks and don’t forget, what you think is funny is probably gonna KILL US ALL!!!!!!!