doubleplusundead

Let’s go veeeeeeeshing, I’ll cast the nets.

And lest you think we’re not important here at DPUD, I’ll have you know we are 187 out of the top 200 conservative websites. I have no idea who that is, but he puts us one in front of the Emperor. I would just like to say we were not asked any retribution/slash exiling should be directed… not at us.

So what’s happening in the nets today, Wednesday something in February? Death, destruction and hilarity.

In domestic news, Charlottesville, VA said that they would not allow drone flights in their city. Me? I’m proud of VA, my former state, (my current state is inebriation), but I figure that’ll be the minority. Which brings us to my plan.

Now, we all know if you have a picture of yourself shooting a gun, you go “skeet shooting all the time” and what’s a drone but a fast moving skeet? So all you need is the picture!

I do not suggest you p-shop your face and arms into that pic to prove you skeet all the time if you’ve shot down a drone.

As for the drones, don’t forget, the faster they move the more you have to lead them.

The scaringestly funniest link of uhhhh…. this second (I forgot how funny it is out there) someone else in favor of sending guns and money (keep the lawyers) notices the Wash Post talking about how we all need universal ids.

an effective solution would be to issue tamper-proof, biometric ID cards — using fingerprints or a comparably unique identifier — to all citizens and legal residents

And lest you think that we will require them for everything we do, I’ve assembled a partial list of what they’ll be required for and not.

They will be required for (partial list): Driving a car, renting a car, buying a car, buying any goods, getting Internet service, getting electricity hooked up, all services and utilities, air travel, boat travel, train travel, bus travel, automobile travel (passenger), going through security at airports and all gov’t facilities, when talking to any gov’ t official, when paying taxes, when being arrested, when being released from jail……

They will not be required for ( full list) Voting, running for President.

See? They’ll only be required for the stuff you would expect.

My only hope is that Rand Paul gets involved and slips an amendment in that requires any gov’ t official asking for this to say, “Your papers please!” in a German accent. At least we’ll get some humor out of our newest chains.

So I promised some real hilarity. Remember when we are, so understand it’s fucking hilarious, except it’s not. It would be great for an Airplane! movie but this isn’t fiction.  A Cook County judge was facing battery charges but won re-election anyway. In any normal end of civilization, that would have been funny enough. But we are in the now. It gets better.

So Good News! She was found “not guilty”, so why is that so scaringly funny?

A Democratic Party-backed judge who won re-election in November while facing battery charges was found not guilty Monday — by reason of insanity.

Now, in a regularly funny end of civilization that would be the punchline, but not here, not now.

The insanity verdict could aid the judge’s effort to return to the bench.

Bwahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahaha. Snort. I can’t figure out what the hell is going to happen in Chicago, but I just don’t see how one city can absorb so much idiocy and corruption. One or the other would be containable, but both together at such extremes?  It’s gonna be ugly and it’s gonna be fucking hilarious. (via the Jawas).

This is interesting.  Lebanon has something going on where people are demanding civil unions. Now at first I thought, Holy Shit! You mean homerseckshuls are actually admitting they’re gay in a Muslim country and demanding rights? How brave! But it’s not gay civil marriage, it’s marriages not performed by a religious institution. They’re all performed by religious. I don’t know how most Lebanese feel, but you know how our fine, tolerant, coexistical Muslim brethren feel.

Lebanon’s highest Sunni religious authority has condemned the idea in stronger terms, issuing a religious edict (or fatwa) that called any Sunni Muslim with a civil marriage an apostate (a crime punishable by death according to the religion’s rules).

Natch.

Achmadinejihad gave an interview where he said that Iran had nukes, they didn’t actually want to use them on Israel, and then a bunch of stuff that probably sounded much better in the original German.

He reiterated that the Zionists were trying to take over the foci of power and wealth throughout the world.

Then went on to talk about Jews were getting ready to attack Iran and they might have to defend themselves.

I love listening to jihadi nitwits talk. They use the language our fine lefty betters prefer (all about “dialogue” and “peace process” and shit), but they’re still saying “I keel you all!”

Above we have Charlottesville (southwestern VA) saying “No Drones For You!”, while in northern VA we have this.

A 10-year-old Alexandria boy was arrested after police said he brought a toy handgun to school on Tuesday, a day after he showed it to others on a school bus.

…

n Monday, the boy showed the plastic gun to at least one other student during a bus ride home from the school. The 10-year-old did not point it at anyone or threaten to shoot it, but he neglected to mention that the weapon was fake,

Holy shit. He was fucking arrested. Fucking arrested. Fucking arrested. I’d better stop writing about this before I get intemperate.

FUCKING ARRESTED!

In less inf.. fucking arrested!!!! FUCKING ARRESTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, in less infuriating and good paranoia news we have Doug Ross thinking like the WND article from the other day. He links: The gov’t buying billions of rounds of ammo, drone flights in the US, the FBI director not answering the question about assassinating US citizens in the US, the DHS listing people like me as terrorists (people who think the Constitution means something), military exercises in Miami and fucking Houston, the various police forces in the US getting armored cars (not tanks, sorry), humvees and drones and ties them all together with a huge, Obama civilian army bow. Very good paranoia.

Now let’s just get some endy, China has been getting very aggressive in the South China Sea, there’s oil in them thar deeps and China wants it but Japan, Vietnam, Philippines and SoKo are none too pleased but China is a vicious, murderous, commie dictatorship so they’re pushing hard.

Japan on Tuesday accused Chinese navy vessels of locking a weapons-targeting radar on a Japanese destroyer and helicopter amid escalating territorial disputes between the Asian powers.

I will say that I’d bet on Japan for sure. Commies think “Quantity has a quality all its own”, bzzzzzt. Wrong answer. China has crappy, 20 year old Russian commie shit, refurbished by shitty commie Chinese workers. They’ll stuff like the Kursk-class Fast Attack Sub/One-Way-Deep-Sea-Exploration-Vehicle/Radioactive-Burial-Vault and a crappy Russian aircraft carrier. Say those words again, Russian Aircraft Carrier.  Built by worker who couldn’t care any less, refurbished by Chinese commie workers who couldn’t care any less. I think they’re naming it the “Tied Up For Repairs” Class.

And those two stellar warships/targets/tombs will be going up against the State-Of-The-Art Pikachu class fast attack sub and the Hello Kitty class aircraft carrier.

Hmmm, that’s a good pool now that I think about it. Where will the next world war start? Iran, Syria, Israel, Egypt, the Arabian peninsula, the Caucasus, Armenia, the South China Sea, between Russia and China or somewhere else? Kind of like a World Dead Pool.

Which also led me to think of something last night when I saw this article, Japan is the Panda of the Asian people.

No, really.

First, they both live in small areas of Asia.

         

They both eat food considered unpalatable by most of the rest of the world.

       

They’re both adorable when young, you just want to pick them up and cuddle.

And both are having problems with birth rates.

See? Now that’s good analogy.