Round The Tubes: The Empires Strike Back Edition

Posted: February 8, 2013 by veeshir in Exploding things, FAIL, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Government FAIL, Mideast Madness, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault

So the peasants are revolting and the kings are not amused.

In China some peasants didn’t want to give up their homes so the State could build a glorious, new dead peasant processing plant, so they said they weren’t moving.  Since it’s a commie gov’t always worried about The People, they:

Some of the houses are completely surrounded by six-foot deep moats up to 12 feet long on all four sides, it added.

A villager named Mr Qin, who has refused to leave his home, said the moats were just one tactic “hostile” former neighbours had used to render the community uninhabitable.

See? Compassionate commies always act compassionate.

We also see Tsar Putin I getting a little upset that some unhelpful people are not happy with the new Tsar. So Putin does what a totally democratically elected Tsar should do when faced with opposition.

Russia’s top investigative agency said on Friday it was seeking to put under house arrest a prominent opposition leader charged with plotting mass disorder in protests against President Vladimir Putin.

See? He’s only arresting him and not just murdering him. Of course, he’ll be shot trying to escape, but that’s his fault.

Speaking of murdering the opposition, Tunisia!

The assassination of a prominent Tunisian opposition figure, Chokri Belaid, has sparked mass protests in the capital, Tunis, and in several cities across the country. Belaid was shot dead as he was leaving his home in Tunis on Wednesday morning

The Arab Spring, the gift that keeps on killing!

Of course, the trend is not all against the people, yearning to be free, in some places they’re…oh wait, that was that movie last night. This is reality.

Lebanon’s Marada Movement leader MP Suleiman Franjieh said that countries which used to support the Syrian uprising are changing their stances to back the regime of President Bashar al-Assad.

“The countries who supported the Syrian uprising are today reluctant to do so and are supporting the Syrian regime indirectly because they have discovered that the alternative is worse and more dangerous,

Not sure if he’s right, but it feels right. After all, the revolution in Syria moved from Teh Peepul to jihadi assholes and people are looking to Libya, Egypt and Tunisia and saying, “Hmmmm, maybe the horrible dorktator isn’t so bad.”

Jihadis, winning friends and influencing people since 700AD.

Let’s go back to eastern Europe, Ukraine is having problems. There’s a budding dictator who’s not so happy Teh Peepul seem to like the person who’s not a budding dictator. So what to do, what to do?

The ongoing dispute between ex-Prime Minister Yulia Tymoshenko and her captors over the living conditions of the hospital prison ward where she is incarcerated has reached Europe.

Throw her in jail in horrible conditions! Never fear, the EUnuchs are on the job! Hmmmm, let’s see if we can figure out what’s going to happen. We have EUnuchs arbitrating a dispute between Tsar Putin I’s buddy and the unhelpful opposition member who’s so rightfully belongs in jail. I’m sure the fact that Tsar Putin I controls so much of their natural gas supplies will mean absolutely nothing.

A little Ukrainian hilarity, their lawmakers are attacking Mila Kunis (you realize this means war!), but not in their Parliament or in the newspapers or TV news or something, no, they’re going after her on Facebook.

If you’re trying to be a vicious dictator, I would suggest you don’t rely on Facebook too much.

Now a little closer to home. I keep calling this “good paranoia” and I stand by that, first it was in WND, then Bob Owens and now that crackpot website Investor’s Business Daily is worried about it.

Why is the gov’t buying so much ammo?

Several other agencies of the federal government also began buying large quantities of bullets last year. The Social Security Administration… explained that its purchase of millions of rounds…

The social security admin bought millions of rounds? I wonder, is that for me when they come to take my money or for seniors when they come to ask for the money they’ve been promised? Eh either way, it’s kind of funny how many people just don’t fucking trust the Chicago-Machine running our country to not kill us. Interesting. And fucking scary. Dems think we’re EUnuchs and we’ll just buckle under. It comes from being in a leftist cocoon your whole life.
We just revolt our betters.
Enough of gov’ts crushing their subjects, let’s get a little funny.
Yesterday I wrote, “Rampaging John Lennons”, which I thought was the most unlikely thing I would ever write.
Shows that even I underestimate how funny it is out there.
Here’s one I thought became very, very unlikely to ever be written (at least, now that Michael Jackson is dead)
Jason and Annelia Black of San Diego County said the person in the rabbit costume also acted impatiently as their young kids posed for a picture at the Anaheim theme park.
Okay, so what id the creep in the costume do? Molest your kids?
allegedly refused to hug or touch their children because of their skin color.
Get it? The guy refused to molest their kids and now they’re suing.
I can see the cross examination, “I’m sorry to be asking you this, but please point to the doll and show us where the man refused to touch you.

 

 

So there’s a new endangered species and SOMETHING MUST BE DONE!

Also known as crab lice, the tiny insects lay their eggs on pubic hair. But as Brazilian waxes and other hair-removal procedures become more common among men and women, the bugs’ breeding cycle is interrupted, and populations are now plunging as low as bikini briefs themselves.

We need to go back to the bushy days of the 1970s!  Bikini wax is murder!

 

 

Now a sad note for our stoner readers. There is soon to be a huge shortage of kind bud.

Together, the dispensaries are a symbol of the growing bond between the nascent medical marijuana industry and struggling labor unions.

Unions are getting involved. Quality will go down with supply. Shit, just as we all need to get some giggles, they’re going to destroy our supply and quality of pot. We’re fucked.

Important update!

I can’t believe I forgot! I wrote about Mila Kunis and did not include a picture! Sorry.

mila_464kunis.jpgx

Where’s the wind when you need it?

mila_kunis_l152

Ahh, it’s good to get back to our roots.

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Comments
  1. [...] is doing a bang up job over there the last few days of posting links to end of the world hilarity over at Doubleplusundead. Today even includes a nod to Monty Python. [...]

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