Round The Tubes: Stopping When I Get To Jizz Edition

Posted: February 10, 2013 by veeshir in Filthy Hippies, Fun with Elections, Fun With Media, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Jitardis, Liberal Fascism, Mideast Madness, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault

First up, I have to admit that I’m impressed at something the gov’t is doing. No really. We’ve all been worried about them not being able to afford health care, well, they squared that circle  and made it so they won’t need death panels.

In California:

There aren’t enough doctors to treat a crush of newly insured patients.

Some lawmakers want to fill the gap by redefining who can provide healthcare.

They are working on proposals that would allow physician assistants to treat more patients and nurse practitioners to set up independent practices. Pharmacists and optometrists could act as primary care providers, diagnosing and managing some chronic illnesses, such as diabetes and high-blood-pressure.

See?  With your optometrist checking on your lung cancer, you’ll be dead in no time. That saves money on medical costs and  because you don’t have to pay death panel salaries!  Hey, death panelists are like GS-14 or 15, optometrists are only like GS-7 or 9, that saves $thousands a year.

Los Angeles police have been shooting at stuff that looks vaguely similar to the truck driven by a black man (casualties from police fire: 2 women and a white man while looking for a black man), so what’s the most professional police force in the world say to that?

The circumstances of the incident known to the responding officers would have led a reasonable officer under normal circumstances — and these were far from normal circumstances — to believe that fellow officers were being shot at and that the vehicle traveling toward them posed a serious risk.

Now, only the cops were shooting but it’s a truck and it was moving and they were looking for a moving truck so they had to open fire and once one cop opens fire, the rest empty their guns! Geez, it’s as if you expect them to adhere to the same standards as civilians!

The only question I have about his story is: Is it a plague sent by Gaia or is another religion getting all plagued on these days?

It’s a mysterious, newly discovered disease that strikes mainly young women, and it’s often misdiagnosed. Doctors who discovered it, here in Philadelphia, say it’s like your brain is on fire.

Hmmm, only killing Wymyn, not sure if that’s Gaia or not, but just to be safe, we need to destroy our standard of living. I’m thinking “Gaia” cuz really, would a non-hilarious deity start a brain-burning disease in fucking Philadelphia?

Surprisingly, I”m sticking up for the whiny little faggettes.

A new survey released Thursday says young adults, between 18 and 33-years-old, are more stressed than any other generation.

Really, what the fuck can you expect? Those poor sonsomabatches have been the lab rats for every “educator” with a fucking theory and battered with how they need to Save The World their whole, fucking lives.

They’re told that being a boy or being a girl is a “construct” and are harassed when boys act like boys and girls act like girls, then they’ve been berated and guilted their whole lives about how using plastic bags is going to KILL US ALL!!!!1 and drinking milk is murder and don’t forget to spend your weekends collecting drink-can tabs at 1/1000 cent each or the Earth Will Die and global worming is going to KILL US ALL!!!!1!!! if you don’t convince your parents to buy that hybrid and….

Poor bastards have had to listen every fucking school day of every year of their lives about how they need Save The Planet or WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!! while also taking shit when boys play wargames and girls have tea parties.

That’s pretty fucking stressful.

 

See? Now this is thinking outside the box. Universities have been having a problem with the ratio of sexes at their universities, but only Brown is applying creative solutions.

Students at Brown University who decide they want to change genders will now be covered under the school’s generous student health insurance plan.

Think outside the box folks, it’ s the only way we’re gonna make it through the next, few years.

 

I see ads like this at Armslist.org all the time, some guy saying, “I need a cheep gun, any kind” or “I need a cheep pistol” or something. I always wonder if that’s a criminal trying to get a gun or law enforcement trying to catch me selling a gun to a criminal. I suppose it could just be a fucking idiot… actually, that’s the way to bet, but it doesn’t mean it’s not cops or criminals.

An aside, I finally saw Battleship. Loved it. They obviously went to the Star Trek school of command responsibilities, the bridge crew did everything. Two complaints, MSNBC? Seriously, you used MSNBC for the cable news channel? That’s obviously trying to get people who don’t pay attention to think that MSNBC is actually not just poo-flinging monkeys.

The other thing that bothered me was that not once did anybody make a joke about the USS Missouri attacking Pearl Harbor (well, Oahu, and that’s where Pearl Harbor is) under the command of a Japanese Officer! At one point I started laughing my ass off waiting for one of the old guys running the ship to say, “I can’t believe we’re attacking Pearl under comman d of a Jap!“, but they ignored it.

 

Wow, Neil Boortz is off the air, I did not know that. I like Boortz, but I can’t figure this out.  He’s very excited he has enough signatures on one of those bullshit White House “petition” things.

So?  What now?  The petition simply asks that the President spend one hour talking with me and with Congressman John Linder.  We’re the authors of the New York Times No. 1 Bestseller “The FairTax Book.”

No, that’s not “What Now?” “What now” is I’m gonna go get a couple of hard, pip-hitting… wait, that’s a different “What now?”.

‘What now’ is that Obama ignores your petition. That’s that. I really expected a lot more cynicism from him.

This is one of those “Well Duh” links I should have done the other day.  Thomas Sowell explaining how CBO estimates of the cost of any law are ridiculous, he doesn’t go on to say the assholes at the Federal gov’t who tout that are booger-eating morons or lying sacks of shit, but it’s implied.

 

This is fucking scary.  I saw a Drudge link saying something about the Navy not being able to refuel a carrier. I figured it was some semi-obsolescent, diesel, escort carrier or something.

The U.S. Navy will delay the refueling of the aircraft carrier USS Abraham Lincoln (CVN-72)

 

Nukular carrier and we have another in its area of responsibility down, as the world is heating up Obama is making sure that our carrier fleet is immobile. Now that’s fucking endy.

 

 

Now a little media bashing.

She and the other women will tell you all about their babies, but not a word about how exactly their husband’s semen was smuggled out of a high security Israeli prison leaving enough time for the semen to still be considered viable.

First, what happened to the 5 Ws and an H? Who? Terrorists. What? Smuggled semen. Where? Terrorist jail in Israel.When? They last few years. Why? To have kids and they can’t have conjugal visits. Okay so far but…

They don’t fucking say “How”!!! In their asses? In their mouths? Their hands? Their hair? In dixie cups?

Second, they should have mentioned that it’s highly unlikely the sperm would last from when it was given to when it was used, so those kids? They’re not really the terrorists’ kids but they will grow up wanting to be like dear old dad.

Yay!

Hey, we made it to the jizz, time to stop.

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