Archive for the ‘Ask a Moron’ Category
Update: I hate it when I forget something that I wanted to put in the top of the post.
Breitbart died 1 year ago today and the world is a worse place for it.
What the hell is going on out there? Seriously, things are not so much scary and endy as confusing and WE’RE ALL GONNA something.
The Senate on Thursday rejected rival proposals to stop the sequester, ensuring the $85 billion in automatic spending cuts will begin on Friday.
Seriously? There’s infighting in the Senate so they’re cutting spending? WTF? Those assholes only fight to raise spending, not cut it. How am I supposed to hate you assholes if you don’t stop cutting spending? (actually, as we all know, they’re not cutting spending, they’re cutting a minor part of the increase in spending in the important parts, but still)
Gateway Pundit says, “Awful” cuz Senate Dems haven’t passed any sequester bills. I’m not picking on him, cuz I doubt he’s the only one who feels that way, but why is that awful? The fewer spending bills Dems pass the happier I am.
This one is all about teh fucked up. Also via GP, apparently Boehner used the word “ass” and Reid has his petticoats in a bunch because the word “ass” reminds him of a whorehouse. First, Boehner wasn’t calling either Obama or Reid an ass so don’t get your hopes up, but more importantly, what exactly was Reid doing in a whorehouse that the word “Ass” reminds him of one?
Hey, DADT is over, I can ask.
At first this looks odd, but I would suggest it’s not. Income is down over 3% and spending is up .2%.
Hey, eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die.
This is the Yelling at the Puppyblender section of the post.
First, PB notices a story about gov’t workers who are involved in union stuff don’t actually do any gov’t work, they do union work. That’s how it works. I only know the Patent Office for sure, but you fill out your hours and you have “other time”, which means time not doing work on patents, it’s for training or helping your boss or something like that, but the union assholes get other time for doing union work. It’s fucking bullshit, but that’s the gov’t.
I love this one, PB links an article about how the Supreme Court is getting more powerful than Congress. Yawn, I’ve seen that story a bunch of times over the last 30 years. Why I’m linking is this.
In the Voting Rights Act case, justices are weighing the constitutionality of part of the law Congress reauthorized in 2006 that requires areas with a history of racial discrimination…(get jerked around V)
Who decides which areas have that history? You know they’re talking about them racist bastids in The South. I saw a documentary once on PBS in Boston. It was about the 50s when blacks were moving north to big cities to get jobs. They had some guy who was big in Boston gov’t (read: Mafioso, just like now) and his quote was, “We didn’t want the blacks mixing in so we decided to make sure they moved to Roxbury with the Jews.” To this day, Roxbury is black and West Roxbury is Jewish.
Dollars to doughnuts that Boston is not included in that Voting Rights Act. Cuz Boston isn’t racist. So long as black folks know their place.
Veeshir defends Obama! Mark your calendars, then have a shot. One of Obama’s illegal aliens releases released an illegal alien who then murdered. So why do I say I’m defending Obama? Because I’ve seen people try to tie it to his sequester warnings that he’s going to KILL US ALL!!!!, this is unrelated. It’s just standard, Obama trying to make America suck as much as he thinks it does.
This one is beautiful. The EU has legislated that young people will have jobs! Fucking brilliant! Why can’t our Congress here outlaw unemployment? Call your legislator, let’s get people working again!
This is the revolution part.
Secondly, Progressive Micro has gone out on a limb here. They make ground sensors, which are not something that most regular citizens would buy. They are generally something that sold to governments. Progressive Micro is putting themselves in the position where they might actually be losing business because of their stance.
I’m praising a company called “Progressive” something. Good for them.
I also really want to praise the guys who named this gun making company that is on the list.
Umbrella Corporation! That’s fucking awesome. It would be better if they made umbrellas, but I’ll take it. That’s almost as cool as the cul de sac where a buddy of mine lived, Kangaroo Court.
NYS pro-gun rally. Man oh man did NY pols (and I) underestimate their folks.
An aside, fuck you Dennis Rodman and ESPN for acting as if the Kim Jong KG is not a poofy-stomached maniac. Rodman tweeted something about hoping to see Gangnam style. Sigh, they only do that in the north when their guards shoot at their feet to get them to dance. I never liked Rodman, but I had to respect him, now I can’t even do that.
Now here’s Veeshir banging his chubby fist on his high chair and whining at the way the world is.
Chad and I had a deal about ‘standing’ and who has it. I understand he was right and I was wrong, so far as American jurisprudence has decided in this Brave New World, doesn’t mean I agree with it or fucking like it. Quite the fucking opposite in point of fact.
Take this, according to 31 USC § 1105, Obama has to submit a budget by March, 1 every year. He has only made that deadline once, and never submitted any budget that got one vote, so far as I know, but that’s not why I’m whining.
I’m whining because I should be able to sue him because I’m an American and his breaking of that law affects me personally.
But I don’t have standing. Why not? Because fuck me, that’s why.
Now, let’s have a little Viva Italia!
I have a buddy who lived in Italy for a few years, he was involved in some organic cooking school, and I asked him about good old Beppo Grillo, he of the Italian Vaffanculo Day Protests, he responded and I’ve put it below the fold, with his permission.
I asked him about the literal meaning of Vaffanculo.
Yes, it literally means: ‘ to go-do-make up the ass’. But, more idiomatically, ‘Fuck you up your ass!’
I’ve been using that word forever and knew what each part meant but never put it together. Harry Reid would love that word. Let’s send him to Italy!
As for the below, like most of my friends from upstate NY, he’s pretty lefty, so ignore the military industrial complex stuff.
I had a youtube vid to post this morning and forgot it, so you get a few extra links today. Don’t say I don’t never give you nothing.
People are pointing and laughing, but is this good new or bad news?
I’m trying to figure out if I’m fer it or agin it.
Pakistani Taliban members are threatening store owners to quit selling Viagra-type potency pills or “face the consequences,”
On the one hand, do we really want a bunch of horny jihadis running around having kids?
On the other hand, the Taliban mostly mess with Pashtun and their spiritual brethren. That link talks about our military having to teach them that they can’t work the ass so much if they want kids.
So if we give them Viagra, they’ll spend their time fucking just about everything they can hold down long enough except their wives in the right place, and while they’re running around with their boners chasing the village goats, they won’t be blowing themselves up in kindergartens.
Hmmmm. Maybe we should try an experiment in Afghanistan. Air drop Viagra into Taliban controlled areas, see if the population goes up or attacks go down. At the very least we’ll get some great gun camera videos.
President Obama is considering a series of new executive actions aimed at working around a recalcitrant Congress, including policies that could allow struggling homeowners to refinance their mortgages, provide new protections for gays and lesbians, make buildings more energy-efficient and toughen regulations for coal-fired power plants, according to people outside the White House involved in discussions on the issues. …
It’s good that he’s going to ignore Congress to get what Teh Peepul Need! They’re all recalcitrant and shit and those are all good things. You’re not against saving the planet and those most defenseless? (not that they need guns mind you, they need more gov’t to protect them)
It’s not a story about Obama without a quote from an anonymous source close to Obama (probably the “journalist”) that’s a howler.
These and other potential actions suggest that Obama is likely to rely heavily on executive powers … the president does not see the actions as substitutes for more substantial legislation, he also wants to move forward on top priorities. …
Senor Homer will translate.
In the months ahead, some people close to the White House said Obama must weigh the prospect of making progress on his priorities with the risk that acting aggressively could hurt the chances for more substantial legislation on Capitol Hill.
You see, it’s all about Obama getting stuff done so it’s always good news. The only bad news would be if he couldn’t get all the important stuff we need done.
It’s funny how our definitions of “good” and “bad” differ so much. Scary, but kind of funny.
Good News! This man is in Congress.
Bad News! this man is not
Okay, now this is the point of the post and it doesn’t much to do with the theme. I blame Obama.
It’s mostly a hilarious video that’s not funny at all.
First, I’d like to denounce my racism for laughing my ass off at this video. The guys narrating are hilarious but since they’re black, I must be laughing at them and not with them. I also denounce myself for laughing my ass off at the last clip of the mother.
It’s scary because there are many millions of these women’s spiritual sistren, of all races, creeds and colors, raising children while showing them just this example. It’s very fucking depressing.
You’ll laugh your ass off. (language warning, they hardly say “fuck” at all)
Dethpicable is the theme of the day.
Updated later, I meant to include this seeming despicability, but it’s more nuanced.
Berlusconi, second longest Italian PM to Mussolini, said that aside from all the Jew-hatred, Mussolini wasn’t so bad.
People are all OUTRAGED!!!
Let me comment. I have lots of Italian family members (some might or might not be related), I have a ‘cousin’ in Italy who was with the Italian army in North Africa, there were probably others, but we drank some vino and talked about it. His version of WWII was wandering around Africa until they found some Americans to surrender to and then they threw a party. He really didn’t want to go there to fight, neither did his whole unit (corps? Division? Army?)
He, and all my Italian relatives who were alive in WWII, had the same attitude toward Mussolini, never did a better leader have a worse people. They all felt kind of bad they let him down. It’s a funny sort of deal. They’re all northern Italians, Sicilians might have a different attitude.
Now back to the post.
First up in our tour of the tubes, we have some cumming.
So Obama the other day casually mentioned how he goes skeet shooting all the time. Now naturally, the Minitrue employeed just nodded and cummed (they do that whenever Obama talks), but everybody not making their underwear sticky thought, “Well, that’s a lie”.
What we’re seeing is that Obama can literally say anything that pops into his head and the despicable Minitrue will just nod, cum and accept it so his lies are getting even more ridiculous. I anxiously await his telling some Minitrue tool about his first miracle.
Via Ace, we see The New Republic seeing a p-shop where someone took the golf club out of Obama’s hand and put in a shotgun, they then started cumming and posting one-handed about how this oughtta shut up them wingnuts.
Now back to our regularly, scheduled post.
Next we have something that illustrates so helpfully exactly how full of Jew-Hatred our tolerant, loving neighbors in EUnuchstan really are.
On Holocaust Day the London Times ran this cartoon showing a caricature Netanyahu (now with extra-Jewish features!) building a wall using the blood and bodies of the peaceful Egyptians and Jordanians who live in Gaza and the West Bank. The cartoon is so despicable, you would have to be steeped in hatred to not say, “Well that’s fucking despicable.”
Next in despicability, we see that ABC interviewed Menendez and didn’t ask about his problems with underage hookers. Further, they knew in March and April that he was being investigated but kept it quiet, can’t have voters get confused about whether to pull the lever for an (R) who wants to kill children or a (D) who just rapes them.
It’s For The Children of course.
Now we’ll have some global warmmongering despicability. Now I figure that most of the adherents of that religion (who aren’t making money or power off it) actually have faith, it’s the poo-bahs who know the truth and lie out their teeth for power and money I find despicable. In that link, we see that electronic vehicles help curb global worming (made up problem) at the cost of raping the environment because of all the pollutionistical batteries.
Well duh. Any engineer could have told you that, further, I would dispute that it saves on green house gasses (plant food), making electricity ain’t free. Just cuz the car doesn’t spew CO2 doesn’t mean the electric generator down the road doesn’t.
I can’t do any more despicability, how about some hilarity?
Next we have talk about how Minitrue and other media outlets (TV, Movies, etc.) try to demoralize their hated enemies (me) but we can’t put up with it!
Me? My fellow Americans demoralized me when they voted for free shit and re-elected Teleprompter Jesus.
What the demoralizers don’t understand is that I’m not really demoralized, I’ve given up trying to stop the end or even hoping that we can avoid. See, I’m not upset that lefties rule, I’m more worried about what happens when their unsustainable programs stop. What happens when people who have been told for 60 years that they deserve free shit and they don’t get that free shit? Trouble, that’s what’s gonna happen, it’s gonna be ugly. I’m not joking at all when I say the asteroid is the best option.
Now we something that remoralizes me, at least lets me know there are people on my side.
Seattle had a gun ‘buy-back’ program (a lie in the title! They’re not “buying guns back” unless you accept that the gov’t owns everything and just lets us use some stuff for a while) and it ended up being a gun show. The cops were offering
$100 for handguns, shotguns and rifles, and $200 for assault weapons
So some freedom loving Americans were offering the people selling their dead grandfather’s guns a lot more than $100
for handguns, rifles and shotguns and were also offering over $1000 for that “$200 assault rifle”, so this “buy back” program was a roaring success. We saved more guns from being destroyed.
It’s funny how often capitalism surprises our fine political, social, intellectual and moral betters.
In further non-despicability blogging, a blegging.
For Buy a Gun Day, since my next gun purchases are going to be high end that I can’t afford, especially in the current climate, I think I’m going to get a sword (I might get a recurve bow as well).
Anybody have any ideas on where to get a good sword? I’ve heard Cold Steel is pretty good, nothing super spectacular, but good steel and good swords. I’m not going up against the Dread Pirate Roberts (or even Inigo Montoya), but I do want a nice sword and I don’t want a katana.
Now, the hotassery. Wyatt had a post on Taylor Swift and I realized that, even though she creeps me out, she’s freaking hot.
As Nicole says, in lieu of content, here you go.
It’s below the fold cuz it’s long (100 titles long), the ones I’ve seen are in bold
There are a few that are just not cult classics, Casablanca? Really? How can a movie that’s on just about every “Top movies of all time” list be a cult classic? Ditto Wizard of Oz.
And why isn’t Dr. Strangelove in there? Really.
Ugh. Is this medicine we should be taking?
Nominating Mitt Romney is sort of like taking Grandma’s castor oil. Republicans are dreading the thought of downing their unpleasant-tasting medicine but worry that sooner or later they will have to.
I ask you: now that the choices seem to be Castor Oil (hell of an endorsement there!) or Gingrich, is drinking heavily the best choice at the moment?
Wyatt at Support Your Local Gunfighter had this for his weekly, FridayCaption Contest, I won with
He’s a little bit commie, he’s a little bit wok and Mao
If there are enough responses (which would require someone actually read the post) I’ll post the winner.