I tried yesterday, but I was forcing it, it just wasn’t funny. But this morning I got a good belly laugh. I’ll save that story for a while.
Let’s start in Iraq. Remember how we overthrew the Ba’athist Party (like Ba’al worship but with more baby killing) in Iraq?
As many as 40 Syrian soldiers and government employees have been killed by unidentified gunmen in Iraq.
They were among a group of Syrian nationals who crossed the border into Iraq to escape a Syrian rebel attack last week.
Iraqi officials were escorting the group to the Syrian border when they came under fire in the town of Akashat in Anbar province.
Authorities say a number of Iraqi soldiers were also killed in the ambush.
So are we allies with Syria now as J Effin Kerry is offering money to the people fighting them? Obama does like to fight both sides of any conflict (except against me).
In boy-fucking savage news, Obama’s partners for peace are helping Pakistani soldiers be all peaceful.
The Movement of the Taliban in Pakistan released a videotape on the fighting in the Mehsud areas of South Waziristan which includes graphic footage of the mutilation of several Pakistani soldiers who appear to have been killed in a firefight last summer
First, you have to admit that it’s kind of funny that the same boy-fucking, murderous, torturers who love to mutilate…well everybody and everything got their turbans in a bunch when some Marines pissed on their dead
Also, I finally figured something out, when Taliban types say Religion of Peace, they mean “peaceful as the grave”, I feel so stupid I never figured that out before.
I call bullshit on this, but you have to respect the idiocy.
An Israeli soldier desecrated a Quran when he kicked it during a [religious] teaching workshop in the Al-Aqsa Mosque courtyards, and hit female students participating in the workshop,
Wait, no you don’t. Another example of exporting our values, we all know Minitrue just makes shit up to attack their enemies (me).
But you’d think that people who have set rules for how to beat the women they own would think of something other to accuse Israel of. Eh, it makes them murderously happy, so that’s all that matters.
Intellesting, the Norks have said they’re not abiding by the cease-fire.
North Korea warned it will cancel the Korean War cease-fire agreement on March 11
Apcray, there are two things wrong with that. First, where’s fucking McArthur when you need him?
Second, I turn 50 later on this month and I have a bunch of bets riding on me making it to 50 (you wouldn’t believe the odds I got 30 years ago), how fucking much would it suck if I lost that bet because the fucking Norks KILL US ALL!!!!!!!?
Eh, that’s all the overseas links I have. Let’s go back to America! My favorite country, it’s where I keep all my shit.
First, I can’t decide if this is funny, very funny, or endishly funny.
Jeb Bush has been making the rounds, calling me a racist hater who hates me some immigrants.
“It relates to this question of, we want your vote but we really don’t want you (asians V) on our team.”
Eh, standard Bush fare after all. Just cuz it’s lefties attacking McConnell for his slant-eyed wife, we all know the GOP is where the racism is.
This is where where You Make The Call!, this is the part I mean.
Bush, who would be a leading contender for the 2016 GOP presidential nomination if he chooses to run
A leader for the GOP nomination? I guess, if the GOP has decided they just don’t want anybody but the establishment to vote GOP next election. I would think he’s more likely to be running on another party’s ticket.
I was just thinking about how hilarious it would be if we went Bush-Clinton-Bush-Obama-Bush, with the twist at the end that Bush III runs as a Dem!
Think about it, Obama is not going to make Bush’ mistake, he’s going to jettison Biden before his last year so he can have an electable VP to run (Or he’s going to try to run a third time, but I’m not into that paranoia yet), so why not Bush? It’s so fucking hilariously infuriating that it just might happen!
In more, “We have no idea what the fuck is going on” GOP news, we read this,
The National Republican Senatorial Committee plans to expand its press operation to train campaigns earlier in the cycle on how to better handle the kind of candidate missteps that have plagued its party’s nominees.
The goal? To avoid what’s become known in GOP circles as “Todd Akin moments.”
You idiots want to avoid a “moment”? How about you avoid a McCain/Graham moment?
Nahhhh, they know how to win elections. Let’s be Dem lite! People like Dems, they’ll like Dem Lite even more! It’s worked so well the last two presidential elections!
As we all know, the Menendez deal is All About Sex(tm), so the Wash Post found some hooker to say, “I lied about Menendez”. So the Daily Caller notices, Hey, that’s the wrong hooker! A problem though, the Wash Post isn’t likely to post corrections, you can’t make a story All About Sex(tm) if you keep confusing people with corrections. And the few tens of thousands of people who will see the Daily Caller link? They’re just Tea Bagging assholes who can be safely ignored.
A little WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!! from the sequester news.
First, just cuz they’re going to be furloughing a billion gov’t workers doesn’t mean they need to stop hiring critical workers.
Agriculture Department said it needs three “insect production workers” to help grow bollworms in Phoenix.
You have to admit, that’s a nice touch.
At first glance this will make Radley Balko happy. The Navy is getting out of the war on drugs.
U.S. Navy frigates will stop patrolling for drug runners by April because of forced sequestration budget cuts
Until he realizes that it will just mean domestic law-enforcement will just have to spend more time and energy kicking down old ladies’ doors to shoot them and their little dogs too.
Sean at the NC Gun Blog (he of the NYS Boycott,) also writes about various gun-related things in his area, like this choir-boy who was shot. But that’s not why I’m linking, I’m linking for the rap sheet Sean linked. Fucking guy kept being convicted of various crimes (including multiple, felon with a gun charges) and the only sentence he served fully was a 90 day sentence. He had one sentence that was a mininum of 16 months and a maximum of 20 months. He served 5.
Less than 1/3 of what they claimed was the “miniumum” for a felon who was caught for repeatedly breaking gun laws. But if some poor fool in NYS puts more than 7 rounds in his 10/22 magazine as he’s terrorizing some tin cans, he’ll go to jail for just as long or longer.
I did learn something from that boycott, Vltor is pronounce “Ultor”, they use the Roman U. So when you call them “Ultor” you’ll have the satisfaction of some tool correcting you and snottily saying, “It’s V-L Tor”.
In Notes On Crushing the Revolution, we see Missouri working with DHS to start a nice, registration scheme.
It’s as if there’s a rush to see who can spark the revolution.
In, It Sure Is A Good Thing Obama Is So Weakened He Won’t Be Able To Nominate Unfit Judges news, we see Kagan and Sotomayor acting as we expect lefties to act. Making up their minds long before they hear the facts of the case and browbeating anybody and everybody who disagrees with them. It’s too long to excerpt, read the whole thing if you have a problem getting started in the morning and you’re out of coffee or Red Bull.
This one makes me laugh. We’re going to have THE HIGHEST TAX REVENUE EVAH!!!!!!!!!!! this year, according to projections that ignore reality. Repeat after me, the CBO’s projections are wishful thinking piled on an ignorance of reality. I look forward to articles next year that talk about how low tax receipts are. When Bush cut taxes we had high tax receipts, when people raise taxes, what they take in goes down. I’d suggest you ask NY and CA pols about that, but they just can’t figure that out even after decades of watching it happen.
In hopeful news, Texas outlaws drones taking pictures. (they make it clear the camera-vehicle is unmanned).
That’s a slashdot link, they seem to think it’s directed at people like them taking pictures on other’s land, probably. But it’s also directed at the gov’t, they include satellites, so it’s for google and the gov’t.
It’s about being private on your own land. I’m all in favor of that. When I get my compound in the desert, it’s gonna have tank traps and AA, so I kind of hope they send their Cox Skyspy/Skybomber to my land.
In very surprising news, Christians are now the most oppressed religion in the world. I’d guess that’s because all the places that really hate the Jews have either killed them all or driven them out.
Enough of the endy, let’s get to the funny. There are just so many today you’d better take a big sip of your coffee now. I’ll wait.
I occasionally take Lindsey Lohan (tits, hey google!) in S. Weasel’s Dead Pool, saying, “She’ll be found floating in Charlie Sheen’s pool”.
Charlie Sheen has already paid a portion of Lindsay Lohan’s taxes, and now he’s offering to officially be her mentor,
Stoaty’s next Dead Pool starts Friday, so none of you take my pick!
Via i Own the World (then fix it!), we find a story that saddens me.
A popular horse show in Ocala is under quarantine after six cases of equine herpesvirus were linked to the Marion County showground.
Okay, which one of you has been to Florida lately? I haven’t been there in two years.
Via Zilla at Batshit Crazy News, we find this bit of catshit crazy news.
I’m Nala. 20 years old. Cis, vegan, multiracial, bisexual, demisexual, pagan, plural, catkin, (emphasis added V)witch.
My preferred pronouns are: chim, chimself, cher, cherself, che, chi.
She’s a cat trapped in a human’s body.
Seriously, I would love to go back to 1958 and try to explain this century. You know they’d all say, “See? We told you Rock and Roll would destroy America!” and I wouldn’t be able to argue. I mean, look at what it did to the 80s?
Harvey at IMAO channels his inner Joe Biden (I figure by repeated blows to the head), and continues Slo Joe’s Field and Stream interview. What makes it either very fucking funny or not funny at all is that it’s hard to tell Harvey’s post from the Field and Stream interview.
JOE BIDEN: Well, that’s true Joe. And, you know I keep hearing this malarkey about how Barack and I want to take your guns away and, frankly, I don’t know how this stuff gets started. Listen to me! Listen to what I say here! No one, I mean no one is coming to take your guns! People, get real here!
LIBERAL INTERVIEWER: So then, what exactly are you and the president calling for?
JOE BIDEN: What Barack is proposing has nothing to do with the Second Amendment. And, let me say this again! No one is coming to take your guns. All we’re proposing is just much needed, common sense legislation that will make it a federal offense for a private citizen to own a firearm.
Heh. Sort of. I guess.
Wait, that’s not fucking funny at all!
And the big finish. Stop cheering you jerks.
Via Doug Ross, we see this cop blog from Chicago getting all hilarious.
The city is so short of cars that they are handling out “rentals” to detectives and to sergeants working VRI! Chevy Impalas with NO emergency equipment.
With this comment making me laugh, but many of the comments are awesome.
Yes it is true, in the D unit anyway. We have a car with some BS lights but no siren. It would make a lot more sense to give the bosses the “non police” rental cars and trickle down their unmarkeds to us. That will never happen though because they’ve “earned” their take home police cars!!
I can understand why they’re short on cop cars, I saw this high-speed pursuit on, I think, Foxnews the other day where they wrecked like hundreds of cop cars chasing two guys in black suits.
I mentioned “tits”, so you know what that means! Pictures of titlarks below the fold! Just don’t tell cher, che might come and eat them.