Archive for the ‘Democratic morality’ Category

Round The Tubes: We’ll See If I Can Do It! Edition

Posted: March 19, 2013 by veeshir in Democratic morality, Fun with Elections, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Government FAIL, Mideast Madness, Nanny State, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, You'll pry 'em from my cold dead hands
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It’s an interesting day, (insert smug recitation of Chinese curse thing) so let’s start with the most interesting.

Let’s start with a GIF from me to you.

upton

We’ve all seen accusations flying at Syria over using chemical weapons, I take that with a grain of salt, but I have to say that they did it. Why?

“Terrorists fired rockets containing chemical materials on Khan al-Assal in Aleppo province, and preliminary information suggests 15 people were killed, mostly civilians,” the state news agency SANA and Syrian state television said.

He who smelt it, dealt it.

I could be wrong, but if jihadis had chemical weapons they would have used them on Israel long before now.

Now they’ve crossed the line that Obama done drew. (an artist’s conception, accurate until the last line)

In the 70s we saw the Arafish and his PLO terrorists start a civil war in Lebanon between Muslims and Christians, but they’ve cowed the Christians mostly so what’s a murderous group of religion of peacers to do?

Ayyad, the Shiite cleric, denied the accusation and said the men who beat the Sunni sheikhs were “uncontrollable” youth known for troublemaking.

Now it’s between Sunni and Shiite, just as Allah intended.

Now this is very interesting. Supposedly Cyprus is rescinding the “We’re gonna take your money” deal.

IMF head Christine Lagarde, speaking at a financial conference in Germany, added her voice to the chorus of backtracking.

I wonder, was it the riots or Tsar Putin I? I know which way I’m betting, and it ain’t on Teh Peepul, it is EUnuchstan after all.

Two “Fuck You Harry Reid” links.

First, he’s blaming the deaths of Marines in a training exercise on the Sequester. You know, fuck you Nevada. This man has said so many despicable things over the last 10 years that I no longer blame him, I blame the mother fucking assholes who vote for Mr. We’ve Lost The Iraq War. I saw this everywhere but on Drudge first.

Here’s Reid saying something stupid about a budget.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid warned Monday that a failure to quickly finish up a 2013 stopgap spending bill could restrict the time that senators have to battle it out over the 2014 budget resolution later this week.

So once again we see the problems of not having a budget are causing them to not have a budget.

It’s like a vicious circle only it accuses me of being stupid.

Okay, this looks like good news, but it ain’t.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has decided that a proposed assault weapons ban won’t be part of a gun control bill

You know they’re going to do the “sensible” gun laws (like universal background checks), McCain, Graham and the rest need to be able to say, “We got rid of the stupid bill and kept this sensible one.”

Fuck you. That’s all I have to say about that, I’m thinking more shit but I’m not ready to write that yet.

Speaking of common sense chains, via Bob Owens we see this bit of hilarity. The Connecticut governor has some proposed things that would have stopped that crazed shooter in CT.

There was also enough consensus among the commission members to recommend bans on high-capacity magazines and the possession, sale or transfer or guns — both military-style firearms and handguns — that are capable of firing more than 10 rounds of ammunition without reloading.

First, the guy stole the guns so no laws except one that mandates going back a thousand years or more and making it so nobody ever discovers gunpowder would have stopped that, as for the mag ban, he would have taken about 9 extra seconds to load two more mags.

It’s just CT pols dancing in the blood of children to make sure there are no citizens in CT, just subjects,  but let’s look at the part that’s making me laugh.

mandating all its K-12 classrooms have doors that can be locked from the inside.

I feel for the teachers who leave the classroom and find it locked when they get back. Every substitute in CT is praying that shit don’t happen. Seriously, I predict at least once a day that some teacher is locked out. Then, CT pols will have to pass a law making it a felony to lock a classroom if there’s no shooter which will lead to…. hilarity!

Now this sucks, this really pisses me off. America has always had a “first to invent”, so if you thought something up first, you were the one who could get the patent, but now it’s “First to file”, so if someone finds out about your idea, they can patent it so long as they get there first and claim they invented. That’s fucked up. That’s very bad. That article is pretty good about patents if anybody’s interested.

There are many things that they could do to reform the patent system, the best would be to go back to when business methods were not patentable, I have never seen a business method patent that I thought deserved to be patented. Not a one, and I’ve looked at many thousands of class 705 patents. Most of them are intended only to sue other people.

Even worse, some of the shit that gets patented is ridiculous. There’s a patent for “Exercising Your Cat With A Laser Pointer” and another for “Swinging Side To Side On A Swing”.  For instance, this person got a patent on milking a cow

. A method of milking an animal having at least two teats, the method comprising:

a stimulation phase in which at least one of the teats of the animal is stimulated; and

a milking phase in which the animal is milked;

wherein the method comprises:

applying a stimulation phase and a milking phase to one of the teats of the animal, and

applying substantially only a milking phase to at least one of the other teats of the animal.

Anybody who knows how to milk a cow will notice that they’ve patented how people have been milking cows since…. there have been cows.

Many, like that one, are not in 705, but they’re been patented because business method patents are legal (State St decision where a judge said, “That’s my decision, oh, and business method patents are legal now.”)

That is the Full Patent Attorney Employment Decision.

SondraK somehow got a picture from one of Bloomberg’s nightmare last night. Not sure how.

palin_big_gulp

Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Round the Tubes: Monday, Monday. It Was All I’d Hoped It Wouldn’t Be

Posted: March 11, 2013 by veeshir in China, Democratic morality, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Liberal Fascism, Nanny State, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault
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Edition.

These days it just sucks knowing what’s coming.

So the French are finding huge, militarized al Quaeda camps in Mali, complete with heavy weapons and various terroristical suicide belt stuff and whatnot, but that’s not why I’m linking it. This is.

We are 70 percent there … but we must do 100 percent,” Le Drian said yesterday. “The mission given to our forces by the President of the Republic is to succeed in liberating all Malian territory … so there will be more combat.”

Holy Chit Meng! That’s the French talking about winning a war! Although…. French “help” doesn’t come cheap. Maybe they want their colony back. They do that sort of thing in Africa.

Interesting article on China trying to be Da Man in the Pacific rim. Well, not so much ‘interesting’ as pretty funny.

Take this

Why has the Chinese government, especially the People’s Liberation Army, appeared more aggressive, self-confident and assertive in dealing with the US and its allies?…

This “unrelenting strategy” first calls for China to confuse its opponent’s judgments; second, create and induce internal conflicts within its opponent; and third, deepen the opponent’s existing internal conflicts before launching an offensive attack.

They seem to think it’s all Sun Tzu strategery. That’s like saying the Road Runner uses Clausewitz to defeat Wile E. Coyote.  You see, it’s Obama’s relentless strategery to confuse America’s judgments (by siding with the dictator against the democracy), to create and induce internal conflicts (by balkanizing America), and deepen the existing internal conflicts (gun control, attack the rich, kill whitey, etc.) which emboldens China.

This bit is what makes it funny.

as the Chinese Communist Party seeks to reduce Washington’s influence in Asia.

Ummmm, dude? That’s Obama’s goal too.

Which leads us to the Norks cutting off communication with South Korea. But I can’t tell if it’s the normal, “Give us food!!!” temper tantrum or something China told them to do.

Pyongyang has also threatened to cut off a hotline with UN forces (read, US. V) in South Korea, at the border “truce village” of Pammunjom.

Cutting off talking with us could lead to war, which the Norks and their Chinese masters don’t seem to really want. Yet.

This one is pretty cool. Japan and the Philippines are acting like allies. And not The Greater East Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere sort of allies, but actual allies against the war-threatening, murderous commies in China.

As Japan’s war of words with China continues to escalate, it’s beginning to move closer to another former rival—the Philippines. Last month, Tokyo announced plans to donate 10 brand-new patrol boats to the Philippine Coast Guard. Later in the month, the two countries met to discuss further expanding their maritime cooperation in the contested waters of the South China Sea.

Cool. They’re realizing they can’t count on us for at least another 4 years.

Speaking of intimidation by commie dictators, let’s go to America!

First up, we see politicians going after sheriffs who refuse to lie for them, this time in CO.

According to El Paso County Sheriff Terry Maketa, the vast majority of the 30 Sheriffs who made the trip to the Capitol, last week, came to testify in support of the second Amendment. Unfortunately, the rules were changed so that only one Sheriff could testify on a bill. Maketa claimed that CO Democrats were pressuring pro-gun sheriffs in the state with tactics that border on extortion. In an email he received, last week, he said the Democrat Senate majority leadership had threatened to stop or stall pay raises to the state’s elected sheriffs if they refused to support Colorado’s pending gun control legislation.

Nice.

The only problem is that it’s making NJ jealous, so they have to go one better.

Said Hart “I tried to express my opinion and tell them that my Constitutional rights had been violated. I began quoting the Constitution, line by line…

Yeah, so how’d that work out for you? (as if we all didn’t already know)

When the Harts left the gathering, they were followed into the parking lot of the community center, and the same young man who had been so upset by Ms. Hart’s comments in the community center, started screaming and shouting at her, took down the license plate number of her vehicle and said – “See if you are able to pay your property taxes NOW!”

So obviously some pro-dictator types didn’t like it. No big deal. Just some loon yelling, right? Geez, you really need to pay more attention.

When they arrived, there were 5 police cars from the Franklinville Police Department. They advised her that the Clayton Police wanted to talk to her about the allegations….

Her purse was taken from her and she was put into a “paddy wagon,” transported to the police station-…

She was arrested and booked for “terroristic threats” and “contempt.”

At the police station, she was handcuffed to a chair.

It’s a terrorist threat to discuss the Constitution with dictators. Duh.

IMO, a whole bunch of people need to go to jail over this and none of them are the lady who dared to open her mouth.

A little more endy before we get to the funny.

Samizdata’s quote of the day (Quote of the week at least IMO, but it’s their blog and they decide that kind of stuff V).

For the first time in recorded history, we have nearly every central bank printing money and trying to debase their currency. This has never happened before. How it’s going to work out, I don’t know. It just depends on which one goes down the most and first, and they take turns. When one says a currency is going down, the question is against what? Because they are all trying to debase themselves. It’s a peculiar time in world history.

“Peculiar” is one way of putting it. Funny and endy is how I put it.

For the record, I hate Starbucks’ products, I like skim milk in my cappuccino, I don’t like their burnt coffee and I really don’t like the way I have to use their terminology in order to order a fucking coffee, but I love their stand on the 2nd Amendment and this is beautiful.

Monday is the last day New Yorkers will be able to buysuper-sized sugary drinks in New York City.

The cola crackdown goes into effect on Tuesday. …

Starbucks announced it plans it will continue offering 20 ounce venti-sized drinks because of the milk content. Like Dunkin’ Donuts, customers will also be able to add their own sugar.

Geez, now I have to go get some espresso and maybe a pastry. So how did their Nannarch take it? Heh, we all know.

Speaking Sunday on CBS News’ “Face The Nation,” Mayor Michael Bloomberg called Starbucks’ plan “ridiculous.”

“Starbucks knows how to market things, knows how to package things,” he said. “They can change instantly when it’s in their interest to do so.”

How dare they pretend they live in America! Their Nannarchs know what’s in their interest. It’s not their decision, it’s Bloomberg’s!

Heh. Heh I say. (I forget where I saw this, one of the news aggregators I think). It’s about the Space and Science Research Corporation who, like the Farmer’s Almanac, have the temerity to pay attention to the Sun when discussing the Earth’s climate. I know, anti-science.

The SSRC and its President, Mr. John L. Casey, have an established record of accuracy in climate change predictions using the Relational Cycle Theory or RC Theory of climate change, a theory based on solar cycles as the main drivers behind the Earth’s variations in climate.”

Jeez, so you try to model reality? How is that gonna prove WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!?

In the Executive Summary, the SSRC report authors show convincing evidence that the Earth’s atmospheric and oceanic temperatures are on a long term temperature cool down as a result of the just started reduction in the Sun’s energy output. Called a “solar hibernation,” this rare and powerful natural cycle of the Sun has been shown to bring long and potentially dangerous cold climate eras to the planet.”

Oh.

That highlights the biggest problem with Global Warmmongering, you’re attacked if you do real science and that article will be ignored by all the right people, it might interfere with the lucrative Global Warmmongering industry.

This Ain’t Hell has one niche that’s important, they’re big on Stolen Valor. Which is when PX Rangers and other liars claim to be a 182nd Airborne Green Beret Ranger with the Victoria Cross and then try to make money off those lies. So TAH gets attacked for highlighting these lying pieces of shit. Their response?

I don’t care that Dick Stoops didn’t get into the Missouri National Guard Hall of Fame, based on his lies, either. I don’t care that Ike Densmore killed himself because of his lies. I don’t care that Todd Hamilton‘s charity fell to pieces.

What I do care about is that people understand that there are now consequences for their bad behavior. Apparently most people weren’t taught that by their parents, I guess that part of their childhood development is left to TAH.

Good for them. Too often in our society no good deed goes unpunished, it’s nice to see assholes find consequences meeting actions.

They’re not against some labels.

A few days ago I received a personal email solicitation from a senior person at the organization No Labels asking, “Would you be open for 15 minutes to hear progress on No Labels?” The group advocates bypassing ideological gridlock, working together across the aisle, and all of us rolling up our sleeves and solving problems in Congress, government, and society at large.

They’re  just trying to say they’re In The Middle and not partisan. Unlike those meanies on the Right in the Hitler party!

Someone doing the journalism our social, moral and intellectual betters in Minitrue refuse to do.

    Schakowsky: We’re on a roll now, and I think we’ve got to take the–you know, we’re gonna push as hard as we can and as far as we can.

Mattera: So the assault weapons ban is just the beginning?

Schakowsky: Oh absolutely. I mean, I’m against handguns. We have, in Illinois, the Council Against Handgun… something [Violence]. Yeah, I’m a member of that. So, absolutely.

Goals, they has them. (and those goals include gaols and chains).

You know for a crew who claim to be cool, they surely do a lot of things that require they be ridiculed.  The latest is #askflotus.

Hi #AskFLOTUS Was Barack with you on 9/11/12 during #Benghazi…Asking for about 300 million or so people. Thanks.

Bwahahahhaa.

Let’s end on the Question Of The Day!

What do you think about President Obama’s decision to pardon the sequester and send it to Portugal?”

The answers are funnier than the question.

Round the Tubes: A Place To Hide

Posted: March 10, 2013 by veeshir in Catholicism, Democratic morality, Exploding things, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Liberal Fascism, Mideast Madness, Moron of the Day, Nanny State, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, PEBKAC, Soccer - sport of men
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A place for me to hide. All I’m finding are places to hide from what with the wars and the murdering and the GLAVIN.

Sigh.

The Falklands is voting on a referendum on war between Britain and Argentina, I think.

Residents of the Falkland Islands vote on Sunday in a sovereignty referendum aimed at countering Argentina’s increasingly assertive claim over the British-ruled territory.

How else would you read that? Add in this,

The government’s mishandling of Argentina’s economy has hit new highs recently with the implementation of price controls on food. It is a notoriously ineffective policy that tends to create shortages and spawns black markets.

You know Argentina is going to need an external enemy really soon and the Jews are too remote so the Brits it is.I know war isn’t funny, except when it is.

Think about it, there’s a very good chance we’ll have the first war in history where the two combatants cannot actually meet each other on a battlefield.

The Royal Navy isn’t what it used to be and what’s a starving, broke Argentinian military going to do? Knowing that Obama likes to fight both sides of a war, we could see America ferrying everybody to somewhere, maybe the Pampas would be good?, so they can have their war.

But maybe Argentina will think outside the box.

Venezuela is going to have an election next month between a guy who’d like to live in a free country and a guy who also wants to be free….to do whatever the fuck he wants. He is Chavez’ chosen successor.

So both Venezuela and Argentina are going to need an enemy, how about A Short War?  This way, they’ll speak the same language.

How funny would it be if WWIII started in South America when the last two were mostly not fought anywhere near there? Well, except for a couple of sea battles.

The Egyptians are still rioting over the soccer hooligans, I didn’t realize Port Said was on the Suez Canal. It’s a good thing nothing important goes through that canal or there might be some problems from Obama’s foreign policy.

So fucking Karzai is blaming the US and the Taliban for not making nicey-nicey. Can we leave him to get killed yet?

Azerbaijan is interesting, they’re playing nicey with Jews and Iran is messing with them. How funny would it be if the Jews helped muslims fight against the Mad Mullahs? That would bring in Russia. So Obama could fight both sides of that war, by helping Israel and Iran. Seriously, if WWIII breaks out before 2017, we’ll be fighting on both sides. That’ll be funny. You know, until we nuke ourselves to teach us a lesson.

Actually, that’ll still be funny. Just not funny-funny.

A few days ago I wrote about some UN Peacekeepers who were taken hostage in Syria, I figured they were dead as the UN is feckless. I was right and wrong, so I have to admit this makes me laugh. And it’s a good laugh.

They were freed

Twenty-one United Nations peacekeepers were welcomed in Jordan when they were freed after being held by rebels for three days in Southern Syria.

But the UN was feckless.

as a request to the Red Cross and the United Nations to accept the hostages was turned down. It’s believed neither organisation recognises the Martyrs of Yarmouk group of fighters.

How fucking funny is that? They were freed due to the kindness of jihadis even as the UN said, “No thanks.”

I guess the jihadis were busy killing Syrian gov’t types.

Syrian rebels staged a surprise dawn attack on Sunday against the key district of Baba Amr in the central city of Homs, a year after regime forces retook it after a deadly month-long siege.

The new battle for Baba Amr began as jihadist fighters in the oil-producing east said they had established religious committees to administer the area’s policing, judiciary and emergency services.

Good. When Jihadi fights jihadi supporters Veeshir smiles. Knowing Israel, you know they’re supplying intelligence to both sides. It’s like the dog convincing wolves that coyotes taste better than sheep.

This is when I normaly seg my ue from furriners to the US, but I don’t have a story for that. So I’ll link this bit of funny that’s not at all funny.

It’s a story about how the hometowns of Hitler and Stalin are facing their legacies.

The Austrian town (could someone ask Obama how to say “Hitler” in Austrian?) where Hitler was born is trying to forget it, they rent out the house to keep it from becoming a neo-nazi shrine. This is a nice touch,

Until 2011, the house was used as a day-care centre for disabled people.

Heh.

But in Georgia, they’re are taking a different tack.

For years, the main boulevard, Stalin Street, was dominated by a huge statue of Stalin.

But in 2010, it was taken down by the pro-Western government of Mikhail Saakashvili, much to the dismay of many in Gori.

But thats’ not the end of the story.

A few weeks ago, Gori city council, now run by Georgian Dream, allocated funds to re-erect the statue.

It will not be returned to Stalin Street, but will be put in Gori’s main tourist attraction, the Stalin museum, which is still a shrine to the dictator and scarcely touched since it was built in 1957.

 

After being invaded by Russia they’re making nicey with Russia, funny how that worked out.

One more overseas deal, this guy has a long, thoughtful post on the next pope. If you’re a Catholic, it’s a good read.

Actually, I do have a segway, from Mordor to America!Via the Jawas, we see this.

It’s up and down, but when they said, “Brokeback Mt Doom”, I LOLed I did. And I don’t LOL very often.

Let’s go to Fuck You America!, the best part? It’s people who speak English so we don’t have to rely on imperfect translations.

Nannarch Bloomberg‘s comments about shelters made me laugh. No, not the bit about people flying their private jets in and taking a limo to the homeless shelters because he signed a law saying a anybody can get a bed. Law, meet unintended consequences.

Mayor Bloomberg yesterday put his foot in his mouth by suggesting homeless shelters are bursting at the seams because anyone can get a bed — even the filthy rich.

 

I bet a dollar it’s not the filthy rich, I bet it’s the children of the filthy rich. The Occutards.

A little bit of America saying fuck you back.  The NYS boycott is up to 119. Yay!

This looks like a fuck you from America, but… The Puppy Blender asks

Democrats lost the Congress over gun control in 1994. Are they dumb enough to repeat their mistake?

You know McCain, Graham and the usual assholes will be more than happy to give those Dems some bi-partisany cover.

Moar “Hey America, I won’t be happy until you suck” news, we see this

Among the tactics apparently used by at least part of the Obama administration is to make the public as annoyed with the results of the sequester cuts as possible, if a leaked e-mail message from the Department of Agriculture is to be believed. Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service official Charles Brown told his department’s employees, in an internal e-mail obtained by the Washington Times, that “We have gone on record with a notification to Congress and whoever else that ‘APHIS would eliminate assistance to producers in 24 states in managing wildlife damage to the aquaculture industry, unless they provide funding to cover the costs.’ So it is our opinion that however you manage that reduction, you need to make sure you are not contradicting what we said the impact would be.”

 

Make it hurt until he gets what he wants. We have a president who wants to hurt the productive class to make them want to give more to the non-productive class. That sucks.

Everybody is missing the real headline on this one from Feinstein (dumb as a box of Boxers!)

And yet it’s legal to hunt humans with 15-round, 30-round, even 150-round magazines.

She’s saying people should have a sporting chance! It should be legal to hunt humans only with low-capacity mags!

And you people thought I was too paranoid worrying about the Cox Skybombers.

In, I Expected Better From You news, Neil Boortz is acting surprised Obama is ignoring his petition. Jeez, it was blatantly obvious from day one this was a sign of contempt from Obama, “Here, this’ll make the rubes happy”.

I have to wonder if this is why we haven’t seen Moronpundit in so long.

We’ve featured some unusual fashions here over the years, but I’m not sure whether I should be drooling or nauseous from this insane creation – the bacon dress.

I can hear the cop saying, “So the man ripped your dress off and ran away cackling?” and then the local SWAT team surrounds MPs house and he won’t come out until he’s done eating.

 

 

 

Tubes and Boobs

Posted: March 2, 2013 by veeshir in Democratic morality, Exploding things, FAIL Britannia!, Fun with Elections, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Green Goofs, Hotassery, Lame, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, PEBKAC, True Heroes, Win!, WTF Is Wrong With Denver, You'll pry 'em from my cold dead hands
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upton2

Now that I have your attention, let’s go to the boobs!

So a few years ago Tsar Putin I had a guy named Litvinenko killed in London using some sort of radioactive stuff in a needle. So the Brits decided to get tough and investigate it!

The results will stay secret. (Grauniad link, I had my choice of BBC, NY Times of the Grauniad, sorry).

Shit, those wimpy boobs in the Brit gov’t ar….damn that’s one fanfastic fucking gif up there.

Lest we think Britain is totally useless, check this out.

A GRANDAD whose house was pelted with stones by a schoolboy was NICKED and FINED after frogmarching him to his parents for a telling-off.

See? They’re not totally useless, they’re totally fucking useless!

In non-boob news, Columbia teaches us how to negotiate with terrorists.

Colombian government forces have killed a FARC brigade commander close to the Marxist group’s chief peace negotiator

Now that’s how you do it. FARC ceased their cease fire so the Columbians started killing them again. Nice.

Headline

The Holocaust Just Got More Shocking

No you idiots, all it does is illustrate beyond a shadow of a doubt that those Germans who claimed “I didn’t know!!!” were lying sacks of shit. Just like anybody with a brain already knew.

I have a hard time watching some war movies and not wishing we had perfected the bomb 2 years earlier. Especially in the Band of Brothers when they find the camp and Germans pretend they had no idea what was happening in that horrible place.

Damn, everybody wants to be where the revolution starts.

Brophy points to a section of the bill that defines a high-capacity magazine as one capable of accepting or — that can be readily converted — to accept more than 15 rounds or eight shotgun shells.

That’s just about every pump-action shotgun, you can put a mag extender on them so they’re illegal even without doing so.

So that’s why Biden was pushing double-barrels.

I know, I’m banging my chubby fists on the high-chair again, but….

Jonah Goldberg is upset they’re not inviting Christie to CPAC,

Oh, and he parroted the gun-control line and flip-flopped on accepting a federal bribe to accept Obamacare funding to expand Medicaid.

He thinks they need a big tent, stop being so strict about who they let in.

Yeah, that’s worked so well for the Church of England and the Catholic Church in America.

When your stock in trade is a belief system, it helps to actually FUCKING BELIEVE IN SOMETHING!

Sorry. I just get worked up. Added, I deleted “you assholes”, that was unnecessary. I was all worked up.

Heinlein always said that If “everybody knows” such-and-such, then it ain’t so, by at least ten thousand to one

Case in point. There aren’t more black men in prison than college.

I have to admit, I’ve always accepted that. It always embarrasses me when I forget that truism.

This one is funny on so many levels. 20 years after it could do any good, the state of Michigan is declaring Detroit a disaster area and taking over.

The quotes are what make it.

Mayor Dave Bing said Friday he does not favor an emergency manager to solve Detroit’s problems,

Wait, you mean a grifter is upset that he’s going to lose his source of graft? Color me pointing and laughing.

But wait, he demands his graft!

“There needs to be additional conversation with Lansing regarding their plan to move the city forward,” Bing said. “We have always said that we need help from Lansing to implement our initiatives such as public safety, transportation, lighting and others.

I’ll translate: Gimme, gimme, gimme.

I have to admit, I totally agree with this resident.

“I don’t think it’s right at all,”Angela Woodmere, 37, said Friday outside the Maccabees Building on Woodward. “We elected Detroit politicians and Snyder shouldn’t be dictating how they run the city.”

People get the gov’t they want, they voted for Henry Gondorff, they should keep him.

Speaking of scumbags. Via the Jawas we see Obama’s peace partners giving toys to children!!!! yay!!!!!

The Khyber Pakhtunkhwa (KP) government has decided to educate children about the dangers of toy-like bombs after militants allegedly targeted them recently with bombs disguised as candy, toys and even a string of ball-shaped explosives tied to a cricket bat.

Fucking savages. As for the Obama bit, it might not be the Taliban, but you know Obama would side with this set of boy-fucking savages just like he does with the Taliban.

Via Samizdata, we see this story about art. No, about Art!

So a hundred years ago some guy named Duchamp was at an art exhibit and he grabbed a urinal, signed it and put it on display. Some people are still doing it today. (Recall the janitor who “tidied up” a pile of garbage not realizing it was a million dollar pile of garbage). So the reviewer has this to say:

But it’s not going to come from repeating the same old tricks of 100 years ago. The urinal lovers now are the art establishment.

Hilariously true, but I laugh because I think of the haughty smugnitude you would get back from any Arteeeeest you said that to.

Couple Castle Arghhhhh! links.

First, the dumbest thing I’ve seen all day. (and that’s fucking saying something)

Cadets on the Brigade Energy and Environmental staff will introduce a new insignia to the Corps when they don their cadet uniforms this week. These cadet energy and environmental officers and noncommissioned officers, or E2Os, are tasked with leading the charge on initiatives related to recycling, energy and water conservation at the academy.

Silver Gore Award!

What does 4 up, 3 squiggly mean to you soldier? You’re pathetic sergeant!

The Silver Gore can’t be far behind. I swear, they’re just fucking with us now.

At first glance this looks awesome, but look closer.

army_men

Where the hell is the mine sweeper guy! Geez, they’re gonna be boned without him. Everybody knows the dinosaurs plant mines.

A sad post and one where the NY Post blew the headline again.

A massive spill at a Chivas plant has sent the smell of spirits flowing through a Scottish sewer

It should read Hundreds of people found in the sewers of Dumbarton, Scotland.

True Heroes! I so rarely get to use that category. There are only 4 of Doolittle’s Raider’s left alive.

There’s only one thing about that that doesn’t totally suck.

Years ago the President of Hennessy Company presented a bottle of 1896 vintage “Very Special Hennessy” cognac to General Jimmy Doolittle, in honor of his birth year and it was decided that the last two survivors would toast the fallen with it. Due to their advanced age it was decided that they would make the toast this year, before there were none left.

Nice.

Round the Tubes: I Want To Shoot Monday Down

Posted: February 25, 2013 by veeshir in Democratic morality, Exploding things, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Liberal Fascism, Moron of the Day, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, This Is My BOOMSTICK!
6

Saved from being an 80s tune by just a few months, I think of them as one of the transition bands. Some good stuff but then they got all glammy and meaningless. You know, like the whole 80s, non-Billy Joel/Aerosmith music scene.

The head of Armalite is saying, “Well, we don’t like what the gov’t is doing to take your guns, but I was a cop so we’re selling guns to cops that we can’t sell to you. Cuz they need them and you’re nothing.” (not an exact translation, but semantically equivalent).

They’d better hope lots of the cops they think are better than I am want those guns, cuz I’m going to make sure that anybody who’s interested in any AR platform will not buy Armalite.

My problem isn’t that they’ll continue to sell to people like NYS gov’t, it’s the letter where he makes sure you know that cops are better than you and the slimy way he says, “We won’t sell to police depts but only to individual officers”, which sales will have to go through the police dept because private individuals in NY can’t buy that gun. So it’s a slimy, “Here, this should shut them moh-rons up.”

 

 

This one is very interesting. We’ve seen that link of Bloomberg saying no 2-liters with pizza delivery, but it also restricts soda pitchers for tables of children and a whole shitload more.

Typically, a pizzeria charges $3 for a 2-liter bottle of Coke. …six 12-ounce cans at a total cost of $7.50 to get an equivalent amount of soda…..

He said the smaller bottles will generate more revenue for the restaurant but cost consumers more.

It will also trash more plastic into the environment…..

Spending $300 on a bottle of vodka no longer entitles you to a full complement of mixers.

Before Bloomberg mostly jerked them around and cost more for smokes, but so few people smoke and he created a market for cig smuggling, so it wasn’t as big a deal.

But that right there will fuck everybody in NYC. Every pizzeria in NY has a “large pie, wings and 2 liter soda deal”, all those deals are gone, birthday parties just went up probably nearly double in cost, kids drink a lot more soda than eat pizza and it jerks around all the cool Manhattanites who go to the ultra cool night-spots and buy booze and get complimentary mixers.

So they’re pissing off parents of young children, everybody who orders a large pie, wings and 2-liters deal (which is….everybody), hipsters and everybody who makes tips because the customer is going to pissed and take it off the tip.

I wonder if NYCers will find the balls they so smugly think they have. Eh, probably not. They’ll whine a little and go back to feeling superior.

The reason I’m wondering if they might find their balls (against my better judgement) is this.

Headline

British Media Declare All-Out War On Green Energy Lobby

With a bunch of articles showing that the Brit media is noticing that while green science is neither, it is very fucking expensive.  Good for them.

Now this pisses me off.

which stated they intended to ‘eviscerate, mitigate, litigate, cogitate, and agitate’ the North Carolina Republican leadership.

No, that doesn’t piss me off. This does.

Blueprint is an ACORN-afiliated group, and its list of partners represents the core of the American far left.  Since their dirty little secret was revealed, the organization has disavowed the memo.

First, I was just wondering what ACORN was calling itself this year (they need $billions but some people seem to think that a Democratic front group shouldn’t be getting taxpayer money for vote-fraud for some reason so they need to change their name every now and then).

Also, have the courage of your convictions. getting rid of a bunch of establishment GOPers would be helpful.

Oh well.

Obama’s friend, Farrakhan, wants to help Obama get his Citizen-Army rolling. They’re in Chicago so I don’t have to worry that much. If Obama wants to import a bunch of Chicago street thugs to Arizona, well, coyotes and buzzards gotta eat too.

I have a problem today, 2 feel-good stories to end on. It’s like the end of a Star Trek episode when both Bones and Spock get a chuckler.

First, Wyatt links a story about a football player partying, standard fare, but what makes this so newsworthy is that there were no rapes, shootings, or slapping some bitches around!

Geez, it’s like Gronkowski just doesn’t get it. What’s the point of being rich, famous and good at a game if you don’t commit felonies?

 

Now the hopeful story of the day.

We all know SMOD missed us but the EU was working on a back-up plan where they were going to hit an asteroid to see if they could change its trajectory. Well, they’ve chosen the asteroid they’re to try to hit like the 8 ball in the Earth pocket. The best part about their choice?

Didymos is actually a binary system, in which a 2,625-foot-wide (800 meters) asteroid and a 490-foot (150 m) space rock orbit each other. Didymos poses no threat to Earth

 

See? They found a pair of asteroids, thereby maximizing the chance of a hit.

Recall when they were trying to land on Mars.

They must use the same Fisher-Price Orbital Dynamics Calculator I used to figure out SMOD’s trajectory.

 

 

Round the Tubes, Lots of Fuck In There Edition

Posted: February 24, 2013 by veeshir in Democratic morality, Exploding things, Fun With Media, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Hotassery, Liberal Fascism, Notes on the Revolution, This Is My BOOMSTICK!
4

First, sometimes I hate it when a plan comes together.

10 years ago: The Pussification of America, by Kim du Toit.

Yesterday: The Wimpification of America by Who Cares?

Fucking pussy, say pussification when that’s what you mean.

 

Kim du Toit also popularized a term, Red Curtain of Blood (RCOB), it’s when you are so enraged you literally can’t see anything but a curtain of the blood you are longing to spill. Sort of esoteric, but I think I can explain it much more easily.

A 3-year old with spinal bifida was unfortunate enough to catch the eye of one our fine, undertrained, thugs at the TSA so they hassled her and took her stuffed animal. There’s video, if you want to know what the RCOB really is, watch that video, hell, just click the link and look at the terrified little wheelchair bound 3 year old. I am actually happy I wasn’t there, when I do finally snap, I don’t want to be in control of that bunch thugs. And that’s why when I go to NY in the summer, I’m driving. I’ve decided that in order to fly there needs to be an ocean in the way for me.

This one is a palate cleanser after the last one. As we all know, laws in other places are the cause of crime in Chicago. so some Chicago thugs/cops and even an Indiana sheriff (who I hope is not reelected) demanded that Indiana follow Illinois’ gun laws. Indiana, even the only Dem in this morality play, laughed and said go fuck yourself. Don’t believe me?

Lake County Attorney John Dull said the county would have to pass an ordinance to make any substantial changes to the fairgrounds shows are conducted. He said state law doesn’t provide any support for Buncich’s call for more gun control.

 

I dealt with attorneys for 12 years, that’s Fuck You you moh-ron  in lawyer-speak.

Speaking of the gun grabbing thugs, assholes and felons in Illinois, we have one of the things I’ll be watching carefully for when stuff happens. So as we would all remember if we read this blog, Illinois’ “no CCW unless you’re connected” law was overturned and they have only a short time before constitutional carry becomes the law unless they do something.

Well, it’s a step farther.

“Illinois lawmakers need to create some kind of licensing system or face the prospect of not having any regulations at all when Judge Posner’s deadline arrives,

 

A Veeshir Vearless Vrediction: (as I said at Say Uncle’s)

A month or 12 late, they’ll pass another law that says no guns for you. That will be appealed. They’ll lose.
A month or 12 late they’ll pass another….

Wash, rinse, bail your cousin out of jail for thinking the law matters, repeat.

 

Betting on thugs and felons acting like thugs and felons is usually the way to go.

 

Say Uncle links to Rob Allen (who I swear used to have two Bs) who has this picture that shows how you should carry your rape-whistle.

whistle

 

As this guy said,

She blows the whistle first to signal that the ‘range’ is hot, and then firing commences.

 

Safety first.

Update on those targets that helped feds shoot children on a playground, the company has a statement.

You can read it, I’ll summarize

The DHS designed and asked for those, but they didn’t want them, we don’t have them on our public website anymore. If you have any questions please dial 0,

 

I think the part about those targets that bothered me the most was where the targets were pointing the guns,at the federal agent who wants to make sure he can kill me.

If there’s a young girl, on a playground and surrounded by children, the only possible reason I could see for opening fire is if she’s pointing or shooting at the kids.

 

Okay, I love this one. It’s just so crazy and stupid that it just might make things exponentially worse! Guam has a problem with brown snakes, they moved in and started eating all the birds, they’re running out of birds.

So how to stop that? They can’t use Springfield’s solution for the flying lizards (Bart the Mother) cuz they don’t have winter to kill off the gorillas, so they’re air-dropping dead rats infused with Tylenol (snakes don’t get headaches) all over the island for the snakes to eat and then they’ll all die. The snakes I mean, the rats are already dead.

Okay, so any ideas on how that will go wrong? I mean, there’s no way they get rid of all the snakes so ultimately, the plan will only set them back a year or two. But what else can happen to an island covered in rotting rats? I’m not sure, but I bet it’s hilariously destructive and it might even involve the plague.

 

When Berlusconi lost I made fun of the media for their attack on him, well, they’re still at it and it’s still funny.

Now I’ll admit it’s possibly relevant but surely catty to note that he’s fighting a tax evasion conviction as he’s against raising taxes, but I doubt they do that for EUnuch officials they like.

But what I really love is this, and this headline is why I read the article.

Italians Vote With Berlusconi Challenging Monti Austerity

 

Wait, Berlusconi is against an austerity plan for Italy? Being for it is one of the reasons he’s gone, turns out, they’re playing semantical games/lying through their teeth.

have focused on overturning the tax increases enacted by incumbent Mario Monti. Front-runner Pier Luigi Bersani of the Democratic Party and Monti have vowed to maintain budget rigor.

 

Oh, so he’s against tax increases with a pinky swear that they’ll “maintain budget rigor”.  You know what Italian budget rigor is? It’s like Spanish or Greek except the Italians will only riot when their supply of cheese, bread and vino is gone.

I really loved this part.

If Berlusconi wins, the markets will be quite concerned, but if he doesn’t, if there’s a hung parliament, that’s probably about what’s expected,

 

Heh. Heh I say.

Which leads to the question: Did they prod a bunch of people till they got that quote or did they just make it up?

Below the fold, since where talking about Italians, a few pictures of the warm hills of fair Italia.

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Round The Tubes: Titties,Beer and some other shit going on Edition

Posted: February 13, 2013 by veeshir in Anklebiting rugrats, Baconblogging, Democratic morality, Drunkblogging, Exploding things, Filthy Hippies, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP Win!, Government FAIL, Hotassery, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, This Is My BOOMSTICK!
6

Let’s start with beer.

aporkaplypenow_02

That’s right people, Canada has bacon beer and they won’t share. (won’t ship to the US)

They really don’t need to be pissing America off right now, we got a threshold, Canada. we got a threshold for the abuse that we will take. Now, right now, we’re a fuckin’ race car, right, and our gov’t got us in the red. And we’re just sayin’, we’re just sayin’ that it’s fuckin’ dangerous to have a race car in the fuckin’ red. That’s all. We could blow. So don’t be bogarting that bacon beer!

So Obama spent an hour or so lying to the American people last night and Vodkapundit was there to get drunk and watch it so you don’t have to. I was able to get drunk and didn’t have to have a lying sack of shit harsh my buzz. Thanks Stephen!

I’m planning a post on that speech but I just can’t read the link with the transcript. I might have to read that tree-fucking link first to calm myself down.

FrnakJ must be taking his medication, his Harvey personality is on top. That’s the calm one.

Post updated to make this clear

There he links a guy who compares car regulations to gun regulations in a pointingly and laughingly way. Interesting, and infuriating as it so clearly illustrates that the whole, “We should regulate guns just like cars” deal is just surface stupidity that is used by and appeals to shallow-thinking people.

Eric notices they must have released the 4th edition of Stuff  Jefferson Said.

Not sure if you’ve seen the quote, but here it is

Experience demands that man is the only animal which devours his own kind, for I can apply no milder term to the general prey of the rich on the poor.

Go to Eric’s to see exactly how that’s been dowdified, bowdlerized and cut from context.

Mad Magazine had a bit with movie reviews once, a guy would say, “This movie is horrible, go see a good movie instead” and the quote would read “This movie is a good movie!”. That was more honest than the above ‘quote’.

An’ by their friends shall ye know them.  Ted Cruz does something so despicable that I can’t believe he did it, when the committee was ‘debating’ the Hagel nomination, he noted that our enemies are surely happy about Hagel.

That’s just beyond the pale. I mean, the whole reason Obama wants the guy is because they’re in accord: America sucks, of course our enemies will be happy.

In NY we see they’re calling in the experts on frackingto determine how safe and envirowacko it is.

Yoko Ono!

Which is actually about perfect. No, bear with me. She’s already destroyed one of the greatest rock bands ever, wouldn’t finishing the destruction of a once great state be a standard career arc based on that? I just worry where she’s headed next.

Okay, this is one of my favorites.  So everybody remembers Knut, the cute, baby polar bear that freaked people out by growing into a full sized polar bear, then he died, right?.

So they skinned him, built a statue and put the fur on the statue. Sorta funny, so why is it my favorite? Quotes, people, always get the quotes for the full experience.

“It’s important to make clear we haven’t had Knut stuffed,” …”It’s an artistically valuable sculpture with the original fur.”

I’m not sure if I see a distinction there, stuffed or just skinned, but she’s happy about it so that’s all that matters.

Two things on this story.  That crazed cop-killing cop out west was in the battle with police as people were cheering him on via Twitter.

First, it’s funny how tea partiers who clean up after themselves and have pretty much proven prophetic about where Obama took our gov’t are vicious animals who must be stopped but murderous lefties are heroes.

Second, those people were cheering a guy the gov’t was trying to kill. Alternatively, people were cheering the guy who was trying to kill gov’t folks.

That can’t be good for California state gov’t.

Speaking of being pissed off about state gov’t, Olympic Arms told NYS they won’t be selling any more firearms to NY LEOs. Good. Fuck em.

I had some international WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!! things I wanted to get to, but I really want to get to the titties, so WWIII is just going to have to wait.

First, we’ve seen it all over but I’m linking for obvious reasons.

Her cupeth overfloweth!

I’m not exactly sure what that story is about, but it has something to do with Kate Upton’s tits so I’m linking.

Second, I started this post about 2 hours ago but as I got all the links something happened and I really needed to stop posting for a while. What happened?

This happened.  Headline from a story about Mila:

‘I’m happy to go naked, just don’t ask me about Ashton’

She wants to get naked and doesn’t want to talk about that tool? All we need now is bacon beer! Hey Mila, you wanna go to Canada?

This post needs pictures, hmmmm, what kind? I know! Pictures of Obama. Plenty of pictures of him below the fold!

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Round The Tubes: Zee End, She Is Funny Edition

Posted: February 9, 2013 by veeshir in Democratic morality, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Liberal Fascism, Nanny State, Notes on the Revolution
0

Important, above the post update!!

Boy do I feel stupid, I didn’t want to look for people saying the snow storm is caused by global worming, it’s just too stupid to be funny the 4,000th time. Shows how much I know. It actually gets funnier.

Ace links this Newsbusters link showing a CNN blow-dried, teleprompter reader wondering  whether global worming not only caused the snow, but is it also going to cause the asteroid that will hit use next week?

No, really. Is global worming causing asteroids?

Apcray, the regular post will be anti-climactic now, oh well. Not my problem.

See, this is one problem I have and I think it’s a huge contributor to FEOCE.

I dealt with lawyers in my job for 12 years. And when I say “dealt”, I mean I argued with them via correspondence and occasionally had to send arguments to a panel of judges. Lawyers are supposed to do what they can to win for their side, I have no problem with that. Unfortunately, lawyers begin to mistake their rhetoric and arguments for reality and then they become judges and the truth doesn’t matter, just who has the more elegant argument.

Case in point.

A Florida judge has ruled that a 22-month-old baby girl shall have three people listed as her parents on her birth certificate — a married lesbian couple and the gay man that provides one half of her DNA. (emphasis in the original V)

What happened there is that a judge decided that the lawyer’s arguments were good without even considering the facts of the matter. A birth certificate lists the biological parents, it’s not some fucking social experiment, it’s a legal document.

Since reality matters not to the lawyer/judge who likes the arguments, that’s that. Another legal document that’s devalued.

The legal profession has been trying their best to devalue legal documents. You have to admit that’s pretty darn funny.

The 5th Amendment is dead. Long live the king!

The Department of Homeland Security’s civil rights watchdog has concluded that travelers along the nation’s borders may have their electronics seized and the contents of those devices examined for any reason whatsoever

Notice, not “crossing the border”, it’s “along the border”. What’s so funny about that?

Re-read that sentence. The DHS’ civil rights watchdog has concluded that Teh Peepul don’t need civil rights. C’mon, you have to admit that’s funny. And fucking scary as shit, but still darkly humorous.

This one is fucking hilarious.

In the NE they got a day off of school because of the global worming induced snowstorm.

Out West they got a day off because of the leftist rhetoric induced killing spree.

No, I’m not going to look for any stories blaming the snow on global worming, they’re out there and they just aren’t that funny anymore. (okay, just one). I will look for stories blaming the killing spree on global worming. That would be funny.

Speaking of global warmmongers, they’re really going all out to save their God-President.

Want to save the planet? Stop going to work.

That’s the conclusion of a report from Washington think-tank the Center for Economic and Policy Research this week. The report makes the claim that even a 0.5 per cent annual reduction in the length of the average workweek could be enough to cut between eight and 22 per cent of every degree of global warming that’s expected between now and 2100.

It’s good that Obama’s economy has such high unemployment. Just another way of stopping the rising sea levels.

Speaking of the killer out west, another mea culpa, the Rev Jesses is inserting himself into that situation, he didn’t need the cops to shoot a black man. I guess he’s bored or getting broke or just hasn’t been in the papers lately.

So why is that funny?

I understand your feelings of hurt and pain.

Yup.  The Rev’s got your back. Inexplicably, he then gives the guy a hit list.

Danny J. Bakewell Sr. (The Los Angeles Sentinel’s Executive Publisher/CEO) ,Bishop Noel Jones, Bishop Kenneth Ulmer and Rev. Charles Singleton are all individuals I know personally. I promise that they will gladly receive you.

Are those the Rev’s rivals in the race-hustle system? Enquiring minds want to know.

The last two ain’t funny.

The original Iwo Jima Memorial is for sale.

It pisses me off  for two reasons.

It’s going for $1.3-$1.8 million (they think).

First off, I don’t have that much money. Sonomabatch.

Second, less than $2 mill for the Iwo Jima Memorial?

For perspective, that cheating sack of shit’s, (Bonds),  ‘record breaking’ home run ball sold for nearly $800,000. Yes, a cheater’s baseball is worth almost as much as the Iwo Fucking Jima Memorial.

Motherfucking sonomabatching motherfuckers.

Take a close look at the M-14 rifles the Marines where carrying at Obama’s second inauguration. The bolts have been removed from the rifles rendering them unable to fire a round.

First these motherfuckers disarmed Marines in a war zone because the Sec Def was coming (remember when they loved the Sec Def? I might be the only one, but I miss Rumsfeld) and now this?

Jeebus. It’s like he doesn’t like or trust the milit…oh yeah. Marxist, Chicago-Machine pols only like guns in the hands of union thugs. I just keep forgetting that.

Round The Tubes: Lying Eyes Edition

Posted: February 7, 2013 by veeshir in Democratic morality, Exploding things, FAIL, Fun With Media, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, HAHAHAHAHAA!!!!, Islam - a religion of tolerance and peace, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, PEBKAC
2

In “You have to ignore reality to believe this shit” news, we have our fine betters in EUnuchustan explaining that all them dead Jews are from the armed wing of Hezbollah, not the real group.

The “armed wing” bullshit has baffled me for my whole life.

Back when Gerry Adams was claiming that he wasn’t in the IRA but his political group wanted all the same things and really, isn’t it England’s fault that they’re killing babies? and the IRA is the armed wing of the Sinn Fein and we can’t control them and….. The “Gerry Adams” link above is about a woman who said, “Yeah Adams was an IRA terrorist” and then she committed suicide by shooting herself in the back 4 times  or something.

So who you gonna believe? EUnuchs or your lying eyes?

Another bullshit “It’s all about sex” deal. The Menendez deal has all manner of corruptionistical facets involving all manner of Democratic politicians. I can’t summarize that link, it’s full of tawdry dealings in $millions involving Dem pols and the Florida eye doctor.

So naturally it’s all about sex. Who you gonna believe? CNN or your lying eyes?

Eh, I can’t go any farther, I had a few more links but I just get sick of being called names because I notice reality.

So let’s get down, let’s get funny.

Via the Jawas, we see a link that’s hilarious. Until you think about how global warmmongers might try to ‘fix’ things based on this stupidity.

There are concerns that earthworms increase greenhouse gas emissions, which troubles scientists since earthworm numbers are on the rise.

So earthworms cause global worming? Heh. Vindication!

Why that scares me is that global warmmongers will decide we need to sterilize the soil to kill all the earthworms to save the world. They can do that right after they seed the ocean with iron and kill all the plankton. If SMOD doesn’t get here soon, we’re gonna do it ourselves and that’s just not funny enough.

In “Welcome to the 12th century” news, we have Kashmiri Muslims working on joining the last millenium (they’ll get to this one real soon)

An Indian high school all-girl rock band have quit after a senior Muslim cleric issued a fatwa against them and branded them “indecent”.

See? They didn’t kill those indecent girls! Hell, they even managed not to throw acid in their faces or honor-rape them.

Now that’s progress!

In Good On Ya Mate! news, we have our favorite Aussie Publican sticking up for our guns and saying “Fuck you” (I think, I’m not really sure if that’s the proper translation from the original Australian) to the Aussie wine ‘seller’ who pulled his wines from the NRA wine club.

The wine list at the Wayside Tavern (one of the better wine lists in Qld) will no longer include anything from Yalumba.

I really want to go to Queensland and find this bar.

In “Life Imitates TV” news, we have some scary hilarity.

In the first one I have to give a mea culpa.

I watched Boardwalk Empire the last two seasons, decent show. In one season he was having problems with the justice dept so he hired a lawyer the uber corrupt attorney general suggested. Cut to Menendez news.

In one key move, Menendez has begun to rely for guidance on trusted aides and former advisers, including one who is very close to Attorney General Eric Holder.

I’ve been saying it’s Chicago-machine politics but they’re doing Atlantic City machine politics. Boy is there egg on my face.

In the scariest hilarity we’ve seen all…day, life is imitating cartoons now!

Recall when cloned Homers were going to KILL US ALL!

Then cloned Benders were going to make us all kiss their shiny metal asses and then KILL US ALL!!

So it’s The Funniest End of Civilization Ever, what sort of clones would actually KILL US ALL!!!?

A Brazilian city is in the midst of a bizarre crime spree where all the criminals are called John Lennon.

Rampaging John Lennons! There’s a phrase I bet you thought you’d never read.

That’s hard to top, but Jay at MArooned managed it.

Skeet Shooting Obama Action Figure!

Sorry, I have to stop now, I was going to do some hotassery and explain a comment from yesterday but once you’ve posted rampaging John Lennons and Skeet Shooting Obama Action Figure it’s time to stop. I’ll have more later on.

 

Update: I had forgotten where I got the Rampaging John Lennons story, Stoaty Weasel.  She gets all the best links.

A Veeshing Post

Posted: February 6, 2013 by veeshir in China, Democratic morality, Exploding things, Fun with Elections, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Islam - a religion of tolerance and peace, Liberal FAIL, Liberal Fascism, Mideast Madness, Moron of the Day, Notes on the Revolution, WTF is wrong with Illinois
3

Let’s go veeeeeeeshing, I’ll cast the nets.

And lest you think we’re not important here at DPUD, I’ll have you know we are 187 out of the top 200 conservative websites. I have no idea who that is, but he puts us one in front of the Emperor. I would just like to say we were not asked any retribution/slash exiling should be directed… not at us.

So what’s happening in the nets today, Wednesday something in February? Death, destruction and hilarity.

In domestic news, Charlottesville, VA said that they would not allow drone flights in their city. Me? I’m proud of VA, my former state, (my current state is inebriation), but I figure that’ll be the minority. Which brings us to my plan.

Now, we all know if you have a picture of yourself shooting a gun, you go “skeet shooting all the time” and what’s a drone but a fast moving skeet? So all you need is the picture!

drone pass

I do not suggest you p-shop your face and arms into that pic to prove you skeet all the time if you’ve shot down a drone.

As for the drones, don’t forget, the faster they move the more you have to lead them.

The scaringestly funniest link of uhhhh…. this second (I forgot how funny it is out there) someone else in favor of sending guns and money (keep the lawyers) notices the Wash Post talking about how we all need universal ids.

an effective solution would be to issue tamper-proof, biometric ID cards — using fingerprints or a comparably unique identifier — to all citizens and legal residents

And lest you think that we will require them for everything we do, I’ve assembled a partial list of what they’ll be required for and not.

They will be required for (partial list): Driving a car, renting a car, buying a car, buying any goods, getting Internet service, getting electricity hooked up, all services and utilities, air travel, boat travel, train travel, bus travel, automobile travel (passenger), going through security at airports and all gov’t facilities, when talking to any gov’ t official, when paying taxes, when being arrested, when being released from jail……

They will not be required for ( full list) Voting, running for President.

See? They’ll only be required for the stuff you would expect.

My only hope is that Rand Paul gets involved and slips an amendment in that requires any gov’ t official asking for this to say, “Your papers please!” in a German accent. At least we’ll get some humor out of our newest chains.

So I promised some real hilarity. Remember when we are, so understand it’s fucking hilarious, except it’s not. It would be great for an Airplane! movie but this isn’t fiction.  A Cook County judge was facing battery charges but won re-election anyway. In any normal end of civilization, that would have been funny enough. But we are in the now. It gets better.

So Good News! She was found “not guilty”, so why is that so scaringly funny?

A Democratic Party-backed judge who won re-election in November while facing battery charges was found not guilty Monday — by reason of insanity.

Now, in a regularly funny end of civilization that would be the punchline, but not here, not now.

The insanity verdict could aid the judge’s effort to return to the bench.

Bwahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahaha. Snort. I can’t figure out what the hell is going to happen in Chicago, but I just don’t see how one city can absorb so much idiocy and corruption. One or the other would be containable, but both together at such extremes?  It’s gonna be ugly and it’s gonna be fucking hilarious. (via the Jawas).

This is interesting.  Lebanon has something going on where people are demanding civil unions. Now at first I thought, Holy Shit! You mean homerseckshuls are actually admitting they’re gay in a Muslim country and demanding rights? How brave! But it’s not gay civil marriage, it’s marriages not performed by a religious institution. They’re all performed by religious. I don’t know how most Lebanese feel, but you know how our fine, tolerant, coexistical Muslim brethren feel.

Lebanon’s highest Sunni religious authority has condemned the idea in stronger terms, issuing a religious edict (or fatwa) that called any Sunni Muslim with a civil marriage an apostate (a crime punishable by death according to the religion’s rules).

Natch.

Achmadinejihad gave an interview where he said that Iran had nukes, they didn’t actually want to use them on Israel, and then a bunch of stuff that probably sounded much better in the original German.

He reiterated that the Zionists were trying to take over the foci of power and wealth throughout the world.

Then went on to talk about Jews were getting ready to attack Iran and they might have to defend themselves.

I love listening to jihadi nitwits talk. They use the language our fine lefty betters prefer (all about “dialogue” and “peace process” and shit), but they’re still saying “I keel you all!”

Above we have Charlottesville (southwestern VA) saying “No Drones For You!”, while in northern VA we have this.

A 10-year-old Alexandria boy was arrested after police said he brought a toy handgun to school on Tuesday, a day after he showed it to others on a school bus.

…

n Monday, the boy showed the plastic gun to at least one other student during a bus ride home from the school. The 10-year-old did not point it at anyone or threaten to shoot it, but he neglected to mention that the weapon was fake,

Holy shit. He was fucking arrested. Fucking arrested. Fucking arrested. I’d better stop writing about this before I get intemperate.

FUCKING ARRESTED!

In less inf.. fucking arrested!!!! FUCKING ARRESTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, in less infuriating and good paranoia news we have Doug Ross thinking like the WND article from the other day. He links: The gov’t buying billions of rounds of ammo, drone flights in the US, the FBI director not answering the question about assassinating US citizens in the US, the DHS listing people like me as terrorists (people who think the Constitution means something), military exercises in Miami and fucking Houston, the various police forces in the US getting armored cars (not tanks, sorry), humvees and drones and ties them all together with a huge, Obama civilian army bow. Very good paranoia.

Now let’s just get some endy, China has been getting very aggressive in the South China Sea, there’s oil in them thar deeps and China wants it but Japan, Vietnam, Philippines and SoKo are none too pleased but China is a vicious, murderous, commie dictatorship so they’re pushing hard.

Japan on Tuesday accused Chinese navy vessels of locking a weapons-targeting radar on a Japanese destroyer and helicopter amid escalating territorial disputes between the Asian powers.

I will say that I’d bet on Japan for sure. Commies think “Quantity has a quality all its own”, bzzzzzt. Wrong answer. China has crappy, 20 year old Russian commie shit, refurbished by shitty commie Chinese workers. They’ll stuff like the Kursk-class Fast Attack Sub/One-Way-Deep-Sea-Exploration-Vehicle/Radioactive-Burial-Vault and a crappy Russian aircraft carrier. Say those words again, Russian Aircraft Carrier.  Built by worker who couldn’t care any less, refurbished by Chinese commie workers who couldn’t care any less. I think they’re naming it the “Tied Up For Repairs” Class.

And those two stellar warships/targets/tombs will be going up against the State-Of-The-Art Pikachu class fast attack sub and the Hello Kitty class aircraft carrier.

carrier

Hmmm, that’s a good pool now that I think about it. Where will the next world war start? Iran, Syria, Israel, Egypt, the Arabian peninsula, the Caucasus, Armenia, the South China Sea, between Russia and China or somewhere else? Kind of like a World Dead Pool.

Which also led me to think of something last night when I saw this article, Japan is the Panda of the Asian people.

No, really. (more…)

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