Archive for the ‘Drunkblogging’ Category

Geez, we haven’t had a good blogwar around here for ages.

Of course, we here at DPUD don’t blogwar against other blogs, we are all about the interblogwar.

I’ll start.

80s music sucks, they had far superior music in the

60s,

70s (it’s a 4 minute song, not sure what they do the last two minutes)

90s

and even the 00s

Remember folks, smack, LSD and pot make good music, cocaine only makes good movies.

Speaking of drugs, this is lame.

star trek wiz

Now maybe the rest would play that, but we all know Kirk would walk in (swoosh) in and start bitch-slapping people.

An artist’s rendition

Pic via The Outrider.Borepatch.

The New Normal

Posted: October 10, 2013 by veeshir in Drunkblogging, Obama's Fault

WTF?

We have a president who has:

Facilitated the killing of Americans (Fast and Furious and other gunrunning schemes),

Ignored things while Americans are killed (Benghazi)

Kills Americans without any sort of due process (Americans in other countries with his Cox Skybombers)

Unleashed a thuggish bunch of federal workers on us, NPS, EPA, IRS, etc.

What. The Fuck?

 

Seriously.

What the fucking fuck?

How the fuck did we get here?

Yeah, My Old One Gets That Too

Posted: October 5, 2013 by veeshir in Drunkblogging, Hotassery

We all saw the story last week about the person having a sex-change that went bad and then committed suicide.

But what I didn’t see anywhere was this article with this quote. (I did see it at Eric’s)

my new penis had symptoms of rejection

Story of my life.

But an interesting part of the story is the mentions of euthanasia (not Youth In Asia). They’re doing it for no reason except the people want to die.

is the same doctor who late last year gave lethal injections to congenitally deaf twins who were frightened they were also going blind.

Get it? They thought they might go blind. They weren’t actually blind.

And this from the sex-changee.

My( new breasts did not match my expectations and my new penis had symptoms of rejection. I do not want to be… a monster. “

Her penis hadn’t actually rejected her,

So in other words, a person who hated how (s)he looked enough to go through drastic, sex-change surgery was not happy with how (s)he looked after and so committed suicide.

Or rather, they all asked someone to kill them.

I’m not taking a position for or against euthansia, but that right there is pretty far down the road when they’re using it for people who obviously have psychological problems instead of people who are about to die a horrible death (cancer or something) who’ve decided to just move the timetable ahead.

That’s pretty much what critics said would happen.

Of course, it’s also probably pretty much what supporters expected as well.

This is kind of creepy.

the country (Belgium V) is currently deciding whether to extend “mercy killing” legislation to children.

That’s pretty disturbing.

I was reading my NY Times style guide and realized I’d have to post a correction on my reportage of the incident at the Capitol the other day.

There were no children killed and I failed to note that the woman did it because of all the Barrackades around the monuments in DC and the ocean. and she was also upset that Katie Perry had decided to cover up her ass ettes.

This went far afield from when I started, It was supposed to be dick jokes and then the correction.

Crown will do that.

A few pictures of the shutdown below the fold (more…)

Dat Teef

Posted: May 1, 2013 by aliceaitch in Drunkblogging, Random Crap

I started a jug of Crown a little while ago. Let’s see what happens!

First up, What’s the Wash Post going to do? We all saw Woodward calling Obama insane and then the White House going all Chicago on him. I’d be a little more supportive of Woodward if the Wash Post wasn’t such a facilitator of Obama’s lies.

I wonder if the Wash Post will grow a pair, but notice the above links do not go there. I’m betting against it, this is just a little fillip and they’ll be back to kneeling and bobbing by tomorrow.

A couple IMAO links,

Hillary is going on the speaking circuit! I’m not saying she won’t be paid well for it, I’m just wondering if anybody will actually show up to listen to her smugly screech.

I just noticed that I did the post the other day about the 1911 knives without the link. I guess nobody wanted one, but there it is anyway.

A little history lesson (I love this one)

Original-assault-rifle

Funny how that worked out.

Speaking of which, the NY boycott is up to 97 businesses. I will say that I love it when a blogger finds an important niche and does good. I hope his hit count is way up there.

The war between the states is getting funnier and endier.  Texas is running $billions in surpluses, Illinois is running $billions in deficits. How long before Obama raids  tries to raid Texan coffers for the Illinois welfare state with hilariously violent results?

Well this is unsettling.  Supposedly Hezbollah is fighting in Syria for the gov’t. So another set of jihadis added to that dog’s breakfast. The truck bomb war is going to heat up.

China threatening Japan, the Philippines and Vietnam. Yay! They’re moving missiles across the South China Sea.

Wow, whiskey makes me laconic! Good thing I wasn’t drinking vodka.

A couple of chucklers from the List of What Global Worming Hath Wrought!

From 11/15/08, Will Global Worming Cause Ohio to lose buckeye trees? (spoiler alert: No)

From 6/29/2005, Global Worming Will Make The Earth Lopsided! A little trouble though:

We used computer-generated simulations to get this research result,” Powell cautioned.

Let me know how that worked out for you.

Wyatt had a post that made me look for funny air traffic controller stories and I found this page with a bunch of new ones.

There are the ones you might have seen on an email on the right sidebar, but the main part of the page has stories this guy knows.

Unknown Aircraft: “Hello?..”
Easterwood Tower (me): “Please say again.”
UA: “What?”
ET: “Who is this?”
UA: “This is Joe”
ET: “This is Easterwood Tower, where are you?”
UA: “I’m in the plane!”
(I looked down the flight line, checking if someone was sitting in a parked plane playing with the radio. I didn’t see anything, and the senior controller was becoming more interested in my handling of the situation.)
ET: “Joe, where is the pilot?”
UA: “He got out when the engine quit..”
(I could only imagine a bizarre scenario in which the pilot had jumped from the plane.)
ET: “Joe, what does your airspeed indicator read?”
UA: (Long pause) “Zero?”
(So the plane was now in a stall I thought.)
ET: “Joe, whatever you have in front of you – a stick or a steering wheel – push it forward – you need to get airspeed over your wings!”
UA: “Are you sure?”
ET: “Yes Joe you need to push it forward… (pause)… What does your airspeed indicator read now?”
UA: “It’s still zero.”
(I thought, oh my god, Joe’s plane was in a falling leaf spin. I couldn’t help him. Joe was going to die. I did not know what to do. I looked to the senior controller. He said, “Ask him where his plane is.”)
ET: “Joe, where is your plane?”
UA: “We are parked down at the end of the runway, the pilot got out when the engine quit and walked back to the hanger..”
ET: “Joe, get off the radio.”

Okay, that’s funny.  I can picture the poor air traffic controller thinking he’s talking to a dead man.

This one slayed me even though you can see it coming.

The late Captain Mickey Munn – an all-round fine fellow, highly experienced pilot and, at the time, Sergeant in the Red Devils (UK Parachute Regiment display team) – was piloting a Britten Norman Islander to jumping altitude with a full load of hairy-arsed paras crammed into the rear of the aircraft. With no warning at all, a bang and a flash of flame, the port engine blew itself to pieces. Mickey’s hands flashed around the cockpit as he brought the aircraft under control. As soon as the aircraft was straight and level he turned to his passengers and said: “Phew. I think you chaps should…” But his words tailed away as he gaped at the empty passenger cabin.

See ya, wouldn’t want to be ya.

One more

And (another) hoary old chestnut: QANTAS pilot to copilot landing at Sydney, forgetting the cabin intercom was live:

“What I need now is a cold beer and a hot shiela”
Stewardess hurries forward lest worse befall.
Chorus of passengers “Hey, you forgot the beer!”

There are a bunch, none are bad, some are fucking hilarious. Look at the “Technical problem/remedial action” chart at the bottom.

Technical problem                                                                                    remedial action

Dead bugs on windshield.                                                                     Live bugs on back order.

I have some great bookmarks on this computer that I haven’t clicked in years.

I think I’ve posted this before, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t post it again.

Let’s start with beer.

aporkaplypenow_02

That’s right people, Canada has bacon beer and they won’t share. (won’t ship to the US)

They really don’t need to be pissing America off right now, we got a threshold, Canada. we got a threshold for the abuse that we will take. Now, right now, we’re a fuckin’ race car, right, and our gov’t got us in the red. And we’re just sayin’, we’re just sayin’ that it’s fuckin’ dangerous to have a race car in the fuckin’ red. That’s all. We could blow. So don’t be bogarting that bacon beer!

So Obama spent an hour or so lying to the American people last night and Vodkapundit was there to get drunk and watch it so you don’t have to. I was able to get drunk and didn’t have to have a lying sack of shit harsh my buzz. Thanks Stephen!

I’m planning a post on that speech but I just can’t read the link with the transcript. I might have to read that tree-fucking link first to calm myself down.

FrnakJ must be taking his medication, his Harvey personality is on top. That’s the calm one.

Post updated to make this clear

There he links a guy who compares car regulations to gun regulations in a pointingly and laughingly way. Interesting, and infuriating as it so clearly illustrates that the whole, “We should regulate guns just like cars” deal is just surface stupidity that is used by and appeals to shallow-thinking people.

Eric notices they must have released the 4th edition of Stuff  Jefferson Said.

Not sure if you’ve seen the quote, but here it is

Experience demands that man is the only animal which devours his own kind, for I can apply no milder term to the general prey of the rich on the poor.

Go to Eric’s to see exactly how that’s been dowdified, bowdlerized and cut from context.

Mad Magazine had a bit with movie reviews once, a guy would say, “This movie is horrible, go see a good movie instead” and the quote would read “This movie is a good movie!”. That was more honest than the above ‘quote’.

An’ by their friends shall ye know them.  Ted Cruz does something so despicable that I can’t believe he did it, when the committee was ‘debating’ the Hagel nomination, he noted that our enemies are surely happy about Hagel.

That’s just beyond the pale. I mean, the whole reason Obama wants the guy is because they’re in accord: America sucks, of course our enemies will be happy.

In NY we see they’re calling in the experts on frackingto determine how safe and envirowacko it is.

Yoko Ono!

Which is actually about perfect. No, bear with me. She’s already destroyed one of the greatest rock bands ever, wouldn’t finishing the destruction of a once great state be a standard career arc based on that? I just worry where she’s headed next.

Okay, this is one of my favorites.  So everybody remembers Knut, the cute, baby polar bear that freaked people out by growing into a full sized polar bear, then he died, right?.

So they skinned him, built a statue and put the fur on the statue. Sorta funny, so why is it my favorite? Quotes, people, always get the quotes for the full experience.

“It’s important to make clear we haven’t had Knut stuffed,” …”It’s an artistically valuable sculpture with the original fur.”

I’m not sure if I see a distinction there, stuffed or just skinned, but she’s happy about it so that’s all that matters.

Two things on this story.  That crazed cop-killing cop out west was in the battle with police as people were cheering him on via Twitter.

First, it’s funny how tea partiers who clean up after themselves and have pretty much proven prophetic about where Obama took our gov’t are vicious animals who must be stopped but murderous lefties are heroes.

Second, those people were cheering a guy the gov’t was trying to kill. Alternatively, people were cheering the guy who was trying to kill gov’t folks.

That can’t be good for California state gov’t.

Speaking of being pissed off about state gov’t, Olympic Arms told NYS they won’t be selling any more firearms to NY LEOs. Good. Fuck em.

I had some international WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!! things I wanted to get to, but I really want to get to the titties, so WWIII is just going to have to wait.

First, we’ve seen it all over but I’m linking for obvious reasons.

Her cupeth overfloweth!

I’m not exactly sure what that story is about, but it has something to do with Kate Upton’s tits so I’m linking.

Second, I started this post about 2 hours ago but as I got all the links something happened and I really needed to stop posting for a while. What happened?

This happened.  Headline from a story about Mila:

‘I’m happy to go naked, just don’t ask me about Ashton’

She wants to get naked and doesn’t want to talk about that tool? All we need now is bacon beer! Hey Mila, you wanna go to Canada?

This post needs pictures, hmmmm, what kind? I know! Pictures of Obama. Plenty of pictures of him below the fold!

(more…)

Heartbreaking tragedy

Posted: June 10, 2012 by doubleplusundead in Drunkblogging

I’m completely out of The Macallan.

At least until I pick up another bottle.  I’m not much of a Doors fan, BTW, it just seemed fitting, because when you realize you’re out of a sweet ambrosia like The Macallan, your first reaction is,

Then you realize that just gives you an excuse to try something new.  Yay! I have some Laphroaig, but Laphroaig’s definitely one of those you gotta be in the mood for type, I do have some Jameson 12 year as well, but obviously, it ain’t scotch.  Anyone got any suggestions as far as scotch to try?  I tend to go for single malts, but I’m open to blends, so long as they don’t break the bank, I’m not about to shell out more for Johnny Walker than a good single malt.

Pat # 6,293,874

Posted: April 7, 2012 by veeshir in Drunkblogging, Fun with Elections, Obama's Fault

American Obama Voting Device

Important Update

Obama’s Response to America: Des Patent 120,914

In the year 499,997,988 BC Obamasaurus was running against Santorgingromneyapteryx for Supreme Sauroid.

It looked as if the planet was doomed.

And then… SMOD entered the race and things looked up.

SMOD, his time has come.

Again.

This time, it’s for the cockroaches.

Druck Fudge

Posted: January 22, 2012 by veeshir in Drunkblogging

Goin’ to da show baby!
Important update