If you guys are following the Kitchen Nightmares/ Amy’s Bakery epic meltdown,
This. Is. EPIC.
Archive for the ‘Ewww – taste this!’ Category
The pods, which covered her gums, tongue and cheek, were filled with an ejaculatory apparatus and sperm, with the apparatus discharging the sperm very forcefully.
Scarborough, part 4258
Posted: February 18, 2013 by socklessjoe in Ewww - taste this!, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP FAIL, You'll pry 'em from my cold dead handsThere are a lot of problems I have with Joe Scarborough. The biggest ones are not just disagreements of policy, but his smarmy insistence that he’s the lone Voice of Reason for conservatism.
Scarborough tweeted his particular pride in a segment where he insults Wayne LaPierre and anybody who dares agree with him. Please take a few minutes to watch it.
Some lowlights from the segment:
- Accused LaPierre of “racial overtones” when referring to walking through South Brooklyn after dark during Superstorm Sandy, and for mentioning Latin American drug gangs.
- Accused the NRA of being mouthpieces for gun manufacturers, and not sincerely representing NRA membership.
Bite me, Joe. Let’s see you stroll through Brooklyn during a blackout while lugging a couple bags of groceries. (And who said it was a white guy walking through Brooklyn? Black folks can’t carry for self-defense??) Ever heard of Mara Salvatrucha? Worldwide, they’re seventy-thousand strong, and that’s just one gang. Have you been to Mexico lately, Joe? Wanna take your kids? Ever heard of Fast and…, well, never mind — you probably haven’t given who you work for.
And yes, a lot of us are frightened. We think the freight train we’re on could very well go over the cliff. We’re all the more frightened that your pals are not only flushing the USA down the shitter, but trying to take away people’s only recourse for survival should that come to pass.
Look at the debt, Joe. Look at the debt-to-GDP ratio. Then look at Greece’s. Then consider that the USA is a lot more important than Greece.
Now consider President “We don’t have a spending problem” Obama, and the fact that our idiot brethren re-elected him.
Are we not boned?
And if you want to quote Reagan, Joe, I’ve got one for ya: Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction.
Allah To My Ace
Posted: January 12, 2013 by veeshir in Ewww - taste this!, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GeektasticityRound the Tubes, stealing from S. Weasel edition.
So the Sun is still messing with solar scientists. A sunspot unleashed another solar flare they’re all excited about, but this is the part I’m talking about, I’ve read this same sentence or one like it in a bunch of articles about the Sun over the last 10 years.
This could be the sunspot that breaks the recent lengthy spell of calm space weather around our planet.”
And still the Sun keeps not being as active as they’re used to.
This is a couple days old, but still darn funny. Drudge put pictures of Stalin and Hitler next to the story about Obama trying to take my guns, our fine journalistic betters were appropriately OUTRAGED!!!!!, apparently, comparing POTUS to Hitler is verboten.
Chimpy McBusHitler was unavailable for comment.
Funny site of the day. Yes, DPUD is linking “senatorfeinstein.com”, why?
Dear Dianne,
I do not need to be told by a politician or a lawyer what the meaning liberty is…
What do you really think you are going to get by attempting to disarm the American Public? I hope that peace is possible but I Promise you that there are many in this country who will uphold their oath to defend the constitution from all enemies both foreign and domestic.
Try it! Lets see what happens
I look forward to Feinstein trying to strong arm them into giving up the domain.
Now on to just giving the blog to S. Weasel.
Here we have people who go to the Thames to look for stuff that people have been throwing in the Thames for hundreds of years. They find all manner of stuff, some from last week and some from Romans.
Notice, however, how unfree they are. Quoth Stoaty
To metal detect along the Thames, you need a license from the Port of London Authority…. There are only about fifty people with a license at the moment.
Imagine that, you can’t use a metal detector without a permit. WTF??????????
She was on a Doom kick, not the new-normal, WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! doom, but the video game.
Doom comic!!!!
As Stoaty says,
What do you do for dialogue when your plot consists of some guy running at full tilt through a building shooting stuff? Well, these folks decided to go with Doom Guy’s stream of consciousness.
…quote from comic deleted…
This is something between Ripley’s hissed version of You Are My Lucky Star while she shoots the alien out the airlock, and that dog who REALLY fucking wants him some Kibbles ‘n’ Bits.
That’s exactly what it’s like.
And now for a word from our sponsor.
Doom!
S. Weasel’s fine line of “Let It Burn” merchandise.
Have fun everybody, and remember, Doom!
How Fucked Can One Country Be?
Posted: November 9, 2012 by veeshir in Ewww - taste this!, Exploding things, FAIL, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP FAIL, I'm Afraid I Can't Blog That, Nanny StateNo, we’re not EUnuchstan-fucked, but we’re pretty well fucked.
Obama has no checks on his power anymore. He didn’t really have many, with the spineless fucking cowards we have in the fucking GOP “Leadership” (calling them “leaders” makes fun of everyone who ever led anything, including the leader of a gang of “stealing candy from babies” types) and with the media hiding his every law-breaking and even murderous act.
The GOP assured us Romney was fucking electable. Turns out, he got a lower percentage of Mormon votes than fucking Bush. 2% switched from GOP to Dem. (via Ace’s sidebar). Fewer fucking Mormons. Fewer Catholics, the people who are so happy about their Church being forced to pay for fucking abortions, thereby damning their (the Church’s hierarchy’s) souls to Hell.
Fuck the GOP. Not another penny, not another anything from me. They shit on the Tea Party because their buddies in Minitrue don’t like us and because we’re trying to decrease the power of the gov’t, their fucking power in other words.
Look at the asshole in Mass, the Tea Party got him elected and he immediately started acting like a fucking leftist asshole and lost to that stupid fucking moron who can’t string two words together without sounding like a moron or a commie (usually both). Do you think the Fucking GOP “Leadership” will learn anything by that? Not just “No”, not just “NO!” but “Fucking no fucking way!” Boehner is talking raising taxes and amnesty already. Fuck.
The GOP refuses to fucking learn that they can’t win fucking elections by being Dem Lite. They need to present a difference.
Fucking Romney didn’t want to bring up Benghazi because he was afraid Minitrue was going to call him a meanie.
Well guess what you stupid, fucking, idiotic, asshole, they called you a meanie anyfuckingway.
When are you stupid, fucking, fucking, idiotic, assholes going to learn you will never win when you play by the rules of your fucking enemies? I know they’re your opponents, but they see themselves as your fucking enemies. You idiots are more the enemy than fucking terrorists who would happily kill them all. No, that’s wrong. You’re the fucking enemies, the terrorist assholes who want to murder them all are their buddies, you stupid, fucking, ignorant, obtuse, refuse-to-learn-anything, assholic, douchebagiferous, jackasses.
Seriously, you stupid, ignorant, obtuse, unable-to-fucking-learn jackasses need to fucking understand the roles you’re playing are designed by people who hate you, want you to lose and have no scruples, conscience or qualms about outright lying to defeat you. Don’t fucking play by their rules. Heads they win, tails you idjits lose, on end is a tie and ties go to the Dems.
If you assholes want power, then play to your base. Us you stupid, fucking assholes.
We’re not the frothing at the mouth, ignorant racists you seem to think we are. While we do froth, it’s because watching your stupidity decade after fucking decade while being condescended at by a pack of stupid, fucking, obtuse, idiotic, moronic losers every fucking day gets fucking annoying as all fuck.
We’re a lot fucking smarter than any of you assholes. All you assholes have is nice hair and the ability to convincingly tell people what they want to hear. No matter how many of your loser-boy flunkies tell you you’re smart, you’re not. The lot of you have as much brains as Biden’s hair-plugs.
There is little or no difference between the GOP leadership and the Dems. Romneycare, Obamacare, what’s the fucking difference?
Fuck em all.
I lost faith in Americans in 1996 so the last election wasn’t much of a fucking surprise, people want to believe happy horseshit, it helps them avoid facing reality or admitting they’ve allowed themselves to be had.
There is no such thing as an “Independent”, that’s a bullshit lie perpetrated by people who like to think they’re smart. “Independents” are people who pay attention to politics for about 3-5 days before an election and when they see two people saying, “Liar” at each other just say, “Oh, there they go again” without ever even trying to figure out if maybe one of them is lying.
I have had numerous conversations with people who say some form of “Well, you choose what you want to believe, I choose what I want.”
No, you figure out who to believe. Take fucking responsibility for yourself. When one person says the sky is blue and the other says it’s purple, look the fuck up and figure it out. Don’t go along with the asshole who says “purple” because you like his hair and you like purple.
Eh, it doesn’t matter. We’re fucked. I’m not saying America will disappear tomorrow, I’m saying we’re fucked and the conditions for that loss of America are getting worse and worse.
I am thinking that Heinlein was a smart guy. While he got technological advances wrong at every turn, he always, always, always got people right.
He fucked up in one big particular. He was used to America being Christian, even hippies back then were into Jesus (recall the song “Convoy” if you dare, recall the line, “And a couple of long-haired friends of Jesus“).
But If you add Fosterites in Stranger in a Strange Land to Nehemiah Scudder and stir in modern sensibilites, well, the new religion that might be made mandatory is Leftism/Global Warmmongering and we’ve just elected Nehemiah Scudder in 2012. Right on schedule.
I’m wondering if I should change my name to Zebediah Jones.
And more ladyparts
Posted: October 25, 2012 by aliceaitch in Ewww - taste this!, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Random Crap, WTF Is Wrong With ColoradoValle talked about the mechanics of fitting a woman’s body into an oven
This guy looks surprisingly like Jessica Ridgeway’s alleged murderer, which makes me wonder if we’re starting to see the first tick-tick-tickings of a genetic time bomb that’s going to blow and cause the Mayan end of the world. At least I live not too far from the Denver Airport, I can go hide in the catacombs in the basement since it was set up to protect us during the coming of the New World Order.
This post is tmi3rd’s fault. He also pointed out that they both vaguely resemble Justin Bieber, which confirms my suspicions about the end of the world nearing.
Elevating the cultural discussion
Posted: June 12, 2012 by chad98036 in Ewww - taste this!, Filthy Hippies, Geektasticity, Random CrapI have moved on from Russian pop music (at least for tonight) to German pop music and thought I would broaden your cultural horizons while I am at it:
Novaspace – Beds are Burning
Run to You
Puking your guts out? Blame a hippie.
Posted: May 9, 2012 by aliceaitch in Ewww - taste this!, Filthy Hippies, Green Goofs, It's Science!I can’t wait for the entire left coast to collectively start praying to the porcelain god thanks to their hatred of plastic bags. Maybe they’ll come to their senses and realize that, like injection drug needles and latex gloves, some things are better left disposed after pathogens have leaked/sprayed all over them.
I considered posting a video of some slow-motion vomiting but I decided to save that for when I’m posting about Obama.
Updated to add: bestest irony ever is in one of the linked stories:
“You could wash the bag,” Schaffner said. “Or you could start over with a new bag.“
Fleshlight is making a cover for your iPad. A vagina cover. Which I’m sure will shortly become a sloppy vagina cover for your iPad.
I’d include pictures but they’re graphic enough that they might even overstep the bounds of what we post on this blog. Censored images are available at Gizmodo, or you can click right through to the raunchy stuff at TVMiller.
At least it doesn’t have hair – that would be hard to clean. But it does make it look like something Pedobear would appreciate.
Oh my God, it’s full of stars
Posted: July 8, 2011 by Sean M. in Ewww - taste this!, FAIL, Fun with Elections, HAHAHAHAHAA!!!!Long story short: “Suck my Koch, Patty.”
Is there such a thing as a schadenboner? I think there is, because I seem to have one right now, and I’ve gotta say that it’s ginormous.
(Sorry for all the sophomoric humor, but it’s late and I’m not exactly getting paid for this stuff.)
