Archive for the ‘Exploding things’ Category

Buy A Man A Veeshir And You’ve Given Him An Asshole

Posted: March 22, 2013 by veeshir in Exploding things, Fun With Media, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP FAIL, Jitardis, Kittehs!, Liberal Fascism, Mideast Madness, Nanny State, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, PEBKAC
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Teach a man Veeshing and he’ll be hilariously OUTRAGED! for ever.

First we’ll do some hilarity.

Terrorists have a new Facebook page. Seriously? What do they do? Suicide bomb Farmville?

Even funnier, terrorists have hacked the BBC’s weather twitter account. Al Gore hardest hit.

Now some endy that ain’t funny at all.

Lebanon is fucked. Sunni V Shiite in Tripolis is getting out of hand.

Deadly clashes erupted once again in Lebanon’s troubled northern city of Tripoli after simmering sectarian tensions boiled over into a melee of violence that has seen snipers fatally shoot people amid explosions and heavy gunfire.

Truck bombs on the way. Poor bastids.

A little hope in Egypt, Egyptians getting sick of Islamist assholes.

n two notable incidents in the northern province of Alexandria and the province of Suez, citizens beat bearded men who tried to impose their presence on the streets in order to preserve security. When the men tried to yell at women for what they saw as indecent clothing and threatened them with punishment if they ever wore those clothes again, the women yelled back at them and started hitting them with their shoes before passersby rallied, caught some of bearded men and beat the ones who were too slow to escape.

I’d be more on their side if they weren’t fine with it when the jihadis were killing Copts, but now that they’re going after eveybody else, well, that’s beyond the pale.

The Muslim Brotherhood is having problems in Cairo too.

Several thousand opponents of Egypt’s Muslim Brotherhood clashed with supporters of the Islamist group near its headquarters in Cairo on Friday

I’m rooting for them, take your revolution back before you live in some Islamist shithole where not having a beard and listening to music is verboten.

 

Speaking of poor bastids, ethnic problems in Burma.

Myanmar has declared martial law in four central towns following unrest between Buddhists and Muslims that has left at least 20 people dead.

Agitated crowds of Buddhists were still roaming the streets and several neighbourhoods were still on fire or smouldering after hundreds of Muslims were forced to flee for their lives.

 

How pissed off do you have to make Buddhists to get them be all violent?

Not sure if this is good or bad, but it’s change.

The people of Turkey are digesting the historic statement from jailed rebel leader Abdullah Ocalan, who called for a PKK ceasefire on March 21….

“From now on the principles of the Turkish state could be different. It’s a process of creating a new constitution.

Maybe even some hope. I’m rooting for them, the Kurds just keep getting fucked.

Another case of exporting our values.

Most Ukrainians see their parliament representatives only once in four years — during the election campaign. But soon after getting elected, many deputies forget about accountability.

Just like ours!

My posts have been all disjointed so I’m trying for structure, this case of an unintentionally accurate headline is where we seg our ue to America.

Obama cements his symbolic support of Israel

Symbolic is absolutely correct, cuz he doesn’t support them in any other way.

This is one of those “Needs a different headline” stories.

US plan calls for more scanning of private Web traffic, email

Alternate headline: “Veeshir to put Fuck You DHS, NSA, FBI, CIA in the subject line of every email”

In more, “We’re fucking assholes” news, Via Weasel Zippers, we see some GOPers going for headlines and Democrats refusing to even symbolically say they’re against crushing America.

It would have sent the budget back to the Budget Committee until Saturday with instructions to make it balance by 2023.

They’re refusing to say they’ll balance the budget in 13 years. First, anything but this year is calling me an idiot as future Congresses will not be bound by this stupidity, second, seriously? Democrats don’t feel the need to even pretend they give a shit about fiscal sanity?

I mean, we’re going to be utterly fucked by 2023 so the budget will either be balanced by reality or we’ll all be serfs living in a EUnuchstania-like  EUtopia so this utterly symbolic thing was stupid from the get-go, but at least pretend to care.

In, We’re Running Out Of Money news, Paramus, NJ (shopping haven) is fining folks for leaving their lights on after dark.

-Businesses in Paramus, New Jersey are getting tickets when they leave their sign lights on….

“We’ve been her for 25 years and never had an issue,” Billard says.

They’re broke, tread carefully as they become creative about getting blood from your stones.

So the GOP has been trying to figure out what to do to be more palatable as a choice, so they’ve decided that the most important GOP presidential candidate to be like is…. Mike Fucking Huckabee!

Priebus cited former governor Mike Huckabee of Arkansas as an example of someone who could be “a model for a lot of people in our party”

Seriously? If you were saying that to say, “Get the fuck out of politics and get a job as blow-dried telemprompter reader” I’d respect it, but he’s not. He thinks the candidate that was worse than both McCain and Romney is their fucking model.

So, still pissed off at me for saying Fuck the GOP I’m voting 3rd party instead of throwing my vote away?

Cold Fury just keeps harshing my mellow, and my mellow isn’t very yellow as it is. At least this one has some seriously hilarity.

Florida professor and high-ranking member of the Palm Beach County Democratic Party recently instructed his students to take out a piece of paper, write “JESUS” on it, then put it on the floor and stomp on it – and the Mormon student who refused to do so, calling the assignment morally offensive – was suspended….

In an emailed statement the university sent to CBS, campus officials stated “faculty and students at academic institutions pursue knowledge and engage in open discourse. While at times the topics discussed may be sensitive, a university environment is a venue for such dialogue and debate.”

Dialogue does not seem to mean what they think it does. Kid tried to introduce another viewpoint and they suspended him as they proudly talked about dialogue. That’s fucking funny. You know, so long as you’re not the kid who’s paying $thousands a year to go there.

 

In my life eggs have been good for you and bad for you, alternatingly, too many times to count. Ditto bacon, vino and sharp sticks in the eye… way, check that last one.

So has salt. I have an alternate take on this one though.

One in 10 Americans dies from eating too much salt, the researchers found.

Salt, necessary for human life is bad for you! If that were true, then NJ would be depopulated. Seriously, I’ve never met any people who put more salt on everything.

Some illustrations.

A little early for Caturday, but I might be busy tomorrow so I’m posting it today.

Via Tim Blair’s cat post we see this bit of evil hilarity.

 

catrug

Although, it just doesn’t seem as impressive as a bear skin rug. How can you brag about how it was about to bit your toes when you took it.

 

This is genius, I’m going to have to get one to go with my Gadsden Flags.

times_up_flag_z

 

You know, cuz time’s pretty darn close to up.

Have fun everybody and don’t forget, if you’re not hilariously OUTRAGED!!!! you’re just not Veeshing.

 

 

Round The Tubes: Kristolnacht!

Posted: March 11, 2013 by veeshir in Exploding things, FAIL, GOP FAIL, Liberal Fascism, Nanny State, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault
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Good Morning! I can say that cuz AZ is now 3 hours ahead of the East Coast so most of you will be seeing this in the morning.

What’s so good about it?

Don’t ask me, I just work here.

Wherein Veeshir Pisses Off A Billion People!

taking a dip in an Indian holy river that washed away the sins of 120 million people

And catch all manner of disgusting diseases!

The Ganges is one of the most disgusting rivers in the world. And in a world with the Yangzte, that’s saying something.

I’d rather swim in the Seine or the Grand Canal of Venice where they’ve been throwing trash and emptying chamber pots for over a thousand years.

Via the Jawas we see a man who has the courage of his convictions.

Muslim Imam Claims Women Who Don’t Wear Hijabs are “Asking to be Raped”, Arrested for Trying to Rape Woman

Hopefully that will be matched by more convictions. Of the criminal kind, but that’s the price you pay for your devotion to your religious beliefs! And if that means being fucked up the ass in prison? Well, that’s the price I’m willing to make him pay.

Also via the Jawas, this isn’t funny. Except it is. I saw the link a couple of places where a BBC tool’s son was killed by a Hamas missile or mortar or something. My first thought was, “How will he blame the Jews?”

Then I saw the story at the Jawas showing they had originally blamed the Jews and then it came out it was Hamas.

They’re so predictable it’s not funny. Except it is. I try not to hate too many people but today’s compassionate lefties hate too well and too much.

Okay, this really pisses me off. Earlier we saw Karzai claimed the US and the Taliban were working together to be all terroristical. So how did Hagel respond?

Hagel told reporters he tried to reassure Karzai that the United States had no unilateral back-channel talks with the Taliban

Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

The only answer to that mother fucker saying that fucking shit is, “Fuck you, no more money for you and we’re telling your western security agents to leave the country. Hope you enjoy your virgins. Asshole.”

But no, he had to “reassure” Karzai on something that mother fucker already knew, he said that to be a fucking asshole and to forestall the US saying, “You’re working with the boy-fucking savages you prick.”

As we all know, he who smelt it, dealt it. Another of those exporting our ideals, as we’ve seen the Dems do this for decades, and as we’ve seen Obama do everything he claimed Bush wanted or was doing.

In more Obama hates me news,

A great article in the Wall Street Journal points out that the president is now engaging in a deliberate campaign to injure the economy and the American people, causing as much pain as possible. Why? Because if he can blame it on the GOP, then the 2014 elections could put Nancy Pelosi back in charge of the House of Representatives,…

So just what is the proper description for a man like this who fully intends to divide our nation and destroy our country for his own political gain:

A) Saboteur
B) Traitor
C) Enemy of the State?

But of course, you already know that the answer is D) All of the Above.

There’s nothing to say to that except, “Fuck”. Where’s eddiebear when you need him?

This one cracks me up. So the NRA has a black spokesman and some rap asshole is against it. I can understand, he works with rappers so of course he’s against legal guns. Like all criminals, they like it when the law-abiding are disarmed.

Here’s McCain whining, “But I’m the Maverick! The NY Times told me so! And tell that Rand Paul to get off my lawn!”

So the House GOP “leadership”is obviously trying to figure out how to be more like McCain so not being happy with just kind of pissing me off with their “continuing resolution” bullshit, they’re going to really piss me off and work with Democrats on taking my guns.

House Majority Whip Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) said on Sunday that he would be open to ramming through bills without the support of a majority of his own Republican caucus. Not just on small bills. On issues like immigration and gun control, McCarthy said, he’d be open to taking rogue Republicans across the aisle to work with Democrats.

The “We’re Better Than You” party is looking more and more likely.

Which leads us to the reason for the title.

In more, “Fuck you base” news,  Mike at Cold Fury is harshing my mellow with this from T. Coddington Van Voorhees VII…I mean, Bill Kristol

But you can’t beat something with nothing. The filibusterer from Kentucky has had “his hour upon the stage.” When will other, more serious, Republican dramatis personae step forward?

Commenter Wes S. has the best comment about that.

Well, at least we now have a name for the upcoming McCanian/Grahamian/Rovian purge of conservatives, libertarians and Tea Partiers from the GOP: “Kristolnacht.”

Kristolnacht.

That’s awesome. If only he had made the comment here, I could pretend I made it up since nobody reads this blog. Oh well. I’m still using it.

Round the Tubes: A Place To Hide

Posted: March 10, 2013 by veeshir in Catholicism, Democratic morality, Exploding things, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Liberal Fascism, Mideast Madness, Moron of the Day, Nanny State, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, PEBKAC, Soccer - sport of men
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A place for me to hide. All I’m finding are places to hide from what with the wars and the murdering and the GLAVIN.

Sigh.

The Falklands is voting on a referendum on war between Britain and Argentina, I think.

Residents of the Falkland Islands vote on Sunday in a sovereignty referendum aimed at countering Argentina’s increasingly assertive claim over the British-ruled territory.

How else would you read that? Add in this,

The government’s mishandling of Argentina’s economy has hit new highs recently with the implementation of price controls on food. It is a notoriously ineffective policy that tends to create shortages and spawns black markets.

You know Argentina is going to need an external enemy really soon and the Jews are too remote so the Brits it is.I know war isn’t funny, except when it is.

Think about it, there’s a very good chance we’ll have the first war in history where the two combatants cannot actually meet each other on a battlefield.

The Royal Navy isn’t what it used to be and what’s a starving, broke Argentinian military going to do? Knowing that Obama likes to fight both sides of a war, we could see America ferrying everybody to somewhere, maybe the Pampas would be good?, so they can have their war.

But maybe Argentina will think outside the box.

Venezuela is going to have an election next month between a guy who’d like to live in a free country and a guy who also wants to be free….to do whatever the fuck he wants. He is Chavez’ chosen successor.

So both Venezuela and Argentina are going to need an enemy, how about A Short War?  This way, they’ll speak the same language.

How funny would it be if WWIII started in South America when the last two were mostly not fought anywhere near there? Well, except for a couple of sea battles.

The Egyptians are still rioting over the soccer hooligans, I didn’t realize Port Said was on the Suez Canal. It’s a good thing nothing important goes through that canal or there might be some problems from Obama’s foreign policy.

So fucking Karzai is blaming the US and the Taliban for not making nicey-nicey. Can we leave him to get killed yet?

Azerbaijan is interesting, they’re playing nicey with Jews and Iran is messing with them. How funny would it be if the Jews helped muslims fight against the Mad Mullahs? That would bring in Russia. So Obama could fight both sides of that war, by helping Israel and Iran. Seriously, if WWIII breaks out before 2017, we’ll be fighting on both sides. That’ll be funny. You know, until we nuke ourselves to teach us a lesson.

Actually, that’ll still be funny. Just not funny-funny.

A few days ago I wrote about some UN Peacekeepers who were taken hostage in Syria, I figured they were dead as the UN is feckless. I was right and wrong, so I have to admit this makes me laugh. And it’s a good laugh.

They were freed

Twenty-one United Nations peacekeepers were welcomed in Jordan when they were freed after being held by rebels for three days in Southern Syria.

But the UN was feckless.

as a request to the Red Cross and the United Nations to accept the hostages was turned down. It’s believed neither organisation recognises the Martyrs of Yarmouk group of fighters.

How fucking funny is that? They were freed due to the kindness of jihadis even as the UN said, “No thanks.”

I guess the jihadis were busy killing Syrian gov’t types.

Syrian rebels staged a surprise dawn attack on Sunday against the key district of Baba Amr in the central city of Homs, a year after regime forces retook it after a deadly month-long siege.

The new battle for Baba Amr began as jihadist fighters in the oil-producing east said they had established religious committees to administer the area’s policing, judiciary and emergency services.

Good. When Jihadi fights jihadi supporters Veeshir smiles. Knowing Israel, you know they’re supplying intelligence to both sides. It’s like the dog convincing wolves that coyotes taste better than sheep.

This is when I normaly seg my ue from furriners to the US, but I don’t have a story for that. So I’ll link this bit of funny that’s not at all funny.

It’s a story about how the hometowns of Hitler and Stalin are facing their legacies.

The Austrian town (could someone ask Obama how to say “Hitler” in Austrian?) where Hitler was born is trying to forget it, they rent out the house to keep it from becoming a neo-nazi shrine. This is a nice touch,

Until 2011, the house was used as a day-care centre for disabled people.

Heh.

But in Georgia, they’re are taking a different tack.

For years, the main boulevard, Stalin Street, was dominated by a huge statue of Stalin.

But in 2010, it was taken down by the pro-Western government of Mikhail Saakashvili, much to the dismay of many in Gori.

But thats’ not the end of the story.

A few weeks ago, Gori city council, now run by Georgian Dream, allocated funds to re-erect the statue.

It will not be returned to Stalin Street, but will be put in Gori’s main tourist attraction, the Stalin museum, which is still a shrine to the dictator and scarcely touched since it was built in 1957.

 

After being invaded by Russia they’re making nicey with Russia, funny how that worked out.

One more overseas deal, this guy has a long, thoughtful post on the next pope. If you’re a Catholic, it’s a good read.

Actually, I do have a segway, from Mordor to America!Via the Jawas, we see this.

It’s up and down, but when they said, “Brokeback Mt Doom”, I LOLed I did. And I don’t LOL very often.

Let’s go to Fuck You America!, the best part? It’s people who speak English so we don’t have to rely on imperfect translations.

Nannarch Bloomberg‘s comments about shelters made me laugh. No, not the bit about people flying their private jets in and taking a limo to the homeless shelters because he signed a law saying a anybody can get a bed. Law, meet unintended consequences.

Mayor Bloomberg yesterday put his foot in his mouth by suggesting homeless shelters are bursting at the seams because anyone can get a bed — even the filthy rich.

 

I bet a dollar it’s not the filthy rich, I bet it’s the children of the filthy rich. The Occutards.

A little bit of America saying fuck you back.  The NYS boycott is up to 119. Yay!

This looks like a fuck you from America, but… The Puppy Blender asks

Democrats lost the Congress over gun control in 1994. Are they dumb enough to repeat their mistake?

You know McCain, Graham and the usual assholes will be more than happy to give those Dems some bi-partisany cover.

Moar “Hey America, I won’t be happy until you suck” news, we see this

Among the tactics apparently used by at least part of the Obama administration is to make the public as annoyed with the results of the sequester cuts as possible, if a leaked e-mail message from the Department of Agriculture is to be believed. Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service official Charles Brown told his department’s employees, in an internal e-mail obtained by the Washington Times, that “We have gone on record with a notification to Congress and whoever else that ‘APHIS would eliminate assistance to producers in 24 states in managing wildlife damage to the aquaculture industry, unless they provide funding to cover the costs.’ So it is our opinion that however you manage that reduction, you need to make sure you are not contradicting what we said the impact would be.”

 

Make it hurt until he gets what he wants. We have a president who wants to hurt the productive class to make them want to give more to the non-productive class. That sucks.

Everybody is missing the real headline on this one from Feinstein (dumb as a box of Boxers!)

And yet it’s legal to hunt humans with 15-round, 30-round, even 150-round magazines.

She’s saying people should have a sporting chance! It should be legal to hunt humans only with low-capacity mags!

And you people thought I was too paranoid worrying about the Cox Skybombers.

In, I Expected Better From You news, Neil Boortz is acting surprised Obama is ignoring his petition. Jeez, it was blatantly obvious from day one this was a sign of contempt from Obama, “Here, this’ll make the rubes happy”.

I have to wonder if this is why we haven’t seen Moronpundit in so long.

We’ve featured some unusual fashions here over the years, but I’m not sure whether I should be drooling or nauseous from this insane creation – the bacon dress.

I can hear the cop saying, “So the man ripped your dress off and ran away cackling?” and then the local SWAT team surrounds MPs house and he won’t come out until he’s done eating.

 

 

 

Saturday In The Tubes

Posted: March 9, 2013 by veeshir in Exploding things, Fun With Media, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP Win!, Islam - a religion of tolerance and peace, Jitardis, Liberal Fascism, Nanny State, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, PEBKAC
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I think it is the 40th of July.

It’s just that fucking ridiculous.

To update DPUD’s post,  we find this story about Colorado making it take a few seconds longer to put 30 rounds into a piece of paper. I had to find a story about it just to see how stupid it was.

“High-capacity magazines are designed to kill a large number of people in a short amount of time,” said Sen. Mary Hodge, D-Brighton, the bill’s sponsor.

Okay, that’s kind of stupid, but they’re not done plumbing the depths of brain damage. This one is my personal favorite.

… killed his own legislation aimed at banning concealed weapons on college campuses, …

First, what’s up with the violent imagery? Assault reporters need to have some common sense, 1st amendment curbs. But why did he assault his own bill?

“This bill is intended to prevent death,” said Heath. “The fact that it has been massaged to say it allows rape on college campuses is reprehensible.”

Ultimately, Democrats decided a floor debate on the campus ban wasn’t worth the political cost of allowing Republican lawmakers to attack them for rendering college women defenseless against attackers, as they’ve done since Monday, when Sen. Evie Hudak, D-Westminster, challenged a rape victim who testified in a committee hearing against the bill.

How dare they point out the stupidity of this common-sense legislation?!?!?!?!?!? The whole article is exactly what you’d expect from a Minitrue outlet.

My first three guns were Remington, and when I started buying other stuff I felt bad that I didn’t buy any Remingtons, my father liked them and I trusted them. Never again.

A group of New York state lawmakers says they’ve been told by Remington Arms that the company plans to spend $20 million upgrading its gun manufacturing plant in the Mohawk Valley.

Did you idiots learn nothing from Smith & Wesson? They obviously took the bribe from NYS lawmakers to stay. Eh, on the plus side, in a year or two someone will be able to buy Remington for a fraction of what it was worth last week and they can move it to a free state.

In, Don’t You Know Who We Are and How Dare You Not Give Us Everything We Ask For? news, via Doug Ross, we see a teacher’s strike where the school districts hired some subs to teach while the union types, who totally are striking for Teh Children, are out.  The union thugs reacted as union thugs do. With Intimidation.

It starts off by saying, ‘Do you know a scab lives in your neighborhood?’  It gives the gentleman’s name, his address, his telephone number, personal information. And then it says, ‘Why is he a scab?’ And it talks about him crossing the picket line in Strongsville,” said Dubecky.

Fuck you.

Hagel went to Afghanistan so Obama’s Partners For Peace decided to welcome him.

A suicide bomber wearing a vest bomb struck outside the Afghan defense ministry on Saturday, killing at least 10 people in a blast just hours after Chuck Hagel, the new United States defense secretary, arrived here in Kabul.

And a short time later, another suicide bomber detonated his explosive in eastern Afghanistan before reaching his target, but killed eight children and a policeman, according to Afghan military and hospital officials.

Boy fucking savages acting like boy fucking savages. Whodathunkit?

Speaking of the various types of people who are Obama’s Partners For Peace,

On March 3, 2013, a group of “pro-peace” agitators organized by CODEPINK Women for Peace and Interfaith Peace-Builders made noise outside the Washington, D.C. Convention Center to harass the 12,000-plus participants attending the American Israel Public Affairs Committee’s annual Policy Conference. Its activities were characterized by angry screaming and chants for a violent uprising: “Long live the intifada… intifada, intifada!”

Well duh. They’re not anti-war, they’re on the other side. Recall that Intifadas always begin with terrorists sending children to throw rocks while snipers fire at Israelis from behind them.

In News Of The Duh!, we see that Hezbollah and the Dorktator in Syria are trying to destabilize Lebanaon.

Lebanese political sources in contact with NOW claim that the Syrian regime and its Lebanese ally Hezbollah, fearing rebel advancements in Syria, have shifted their attention towards Lebanon and are now seeking to disrupt its political life.

Hmmm, maybe that should be “News From the 70s”, eh, either way it’s what Syria and the terrorists in the Party Of God do.

This really pisses me off, as Obama is talking about how important it is to send everybody to school, he’s cutting the money for tuition assistance for the military.

The Army announced Friday it is suspending its tuition assistance program for soldiers newly enrolling in classes due to sequestration

The problem is these people won’t be taking Gender Studies classes, they’ll learn something useful. And for that they can never be forgiven!

Chavez’ thug in waiting becomes Thug In Chief!

Chavez’s chosen successor was sworn in at a ceremony just hours after the former leader’s state funeral on March 8.

I guess the secret policeman won (that’s the article about Maduro, secret policeman, and Cabello the military thug. You know that makes Obama happy. He loves people who hate Amerikkka and he’s more in favor of secret police than the military.

Some Drone-Strike on America news.

First, we have Rand Paul saying, I’ve only begun to make futile gestures! (warning, Wash Post link, but it’s Rand Paul’s OpEd).

Sen. Rand Paul: My filibuster was just the beginning

Cool. Keep fucking with the Drone-Strike-In-Chief.

Next, we have the military hiding their drone-strike data.

As scrutiny and debate over the use of remotely piloted aircraft (RPA) by the American military increased last month, the Air Force reversed a policy of sharing the number of airstrikes launched from RPAs in Afghanistan and quietly scrubbed those statistics from previous releases kept on their website.

You see, we can’t have the hoi polloi getting the wrong (read, right) idea.

Mark Steyn pisses me off. Just when I think I’m paranoid enough I read something he wrote.

When you consider the resources brought to bear against a nobody like Randy Weaver for no rational purpose, is it really so “far-fetched” to foresee the Department of Justice deploying drones to the Ruby Ridges and Wacos of the 2020s?

Bastid!

Round The Tubes: Where Mah Funny At?

Posted: March 8, 2013 by veeshir in Exploding things, Filthy Hippies, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP FAIL, GOP Win!, It's Science!, Liberal Fascism, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, WTF Is Wrong With Colorado
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Man, the last couple days have just not been funny. I mean, it’s sort of funny watching McCain get all jealous about a new maverick getting his press, but the laughs have been few and far between.

Via Doug Ross’ always depressing Larwyn’s Lynx, we see this hilarity from Cruz, I was out until around 3pm (5 east coast time) and watched most of the rest, but I missed this.

And I’m pretty certain–for the record, I can confirm that no teleprompter was in front of the senator from Kentucky’s desk,” said Cruz, taking a shot at President Obama’s frequent use of Teleprompters. “Senator Rand Paul, Jimmy Stewart would be proud, sir.”

A shot across the bows of TOTUS.

The Puppy Blender notices something funny about the unemployment numbers, but he forgot the most important demographic

ANOTHER UPDATE: So, basically, the more likely you are to have voted for Obama, the more likely you are to still be unemployed:

WHITES: 6.8%…

BLACKS: 13.8%…

HISPANICS: 9.6%…

TEENAGERS: 25.1%…

The dead, they voted from him 100% and have 0% employment.

This is the part where I defend the Rev Jesse

Jesse Jackson Compares Hugo Chavez To Founding Fathers…

I agree, they’re all dead. Of course, I’m happy about his being dead, not so happy about the rest.

What the fuck is up with California? When last we looked they were $billions in the red and Gov Moonbeam was cutting a few $million.

The new cell phone program will offer “250 talk minutes and 250 text messages” per month to anyone making less than $14,702.

If they were hoping to make it crash and burn as soon as possible, I’d be with them, but they’re counting on Obama pulling their chestnuts out of the fire.

Lifeline is a federal program paid for by a tax on phone bills called the Universal Service Charge. Enrollment in the program has skyrocketed since free cell phones were offered. The FCC has estimated the program will cost $3.3 billion by 2014.

See? Obama doesn’t have enough money for kids to tour the White House but money for free cell phones? Got ya covered.

This one is fucked up. As we all know, Obama always sides against the democracy/republic (note: Not People’s Republic and definitely not Democratic People’s Republic, he loves them), so now we see him sending a crony of Chavez to Chavez’ funeral

President Obama is sending a lawmaker whose relationship with Hugo Chavez has come under scrutiny in the past to represent the United States at the Venezuelan strongman’s funeral on Friday.

The only way I read that is Obama’s letting whoever takes over Chavez’ thugocracy know he’s got their back.

I’m torn on this one, there was one Dem who helped Rand Paul in his filibuster that has McCain’s Depends in a bunch and this guy says (Here’s the info, you decide what you want to do)

So, I would like to encourage my conservative friends to take a little time out from the Paul-a-palooza and show a little love for the sassy Senator from Oregon, perhaps thanking him for having some backbone. His contact information:

Senator Ron Wyden’s Website: http://www.wyden.senate.gov/
Contact Wyden email page: http://www.wyden.senate.gov/contact
Washington, DC Office: 221 Dirksen Senate Office Bldg., Washington, D.C., 20510
tel: (202) 224-5244
fax: (202) 228-2717

Me? I’m not fer it. He wants to hang out with people like Nancy Pelosi that’s his fucking problem. Why would me saying “attaboy” do any good? And why should I give him an attaboy for having the courage to want the president to explain if he can kill me? The worst part? That was ballsy, and that’s a whole nother can of shit.

A proponent of one of Colorado’s gun grabbing bills says

“I don’t know how on earth they can draw a casual relationship… I make no assertion that this bill will either increase or reduce violent crime. That is not the premise of the bill… I suppose more knowledge is better than less.”

Well duh. It’s about controlling free people. Trying to control criminals is hard, they don’t follow the laws.

Let Eric explain, he does it pretty well. In a long post about illegal aliens destroying the environment he writes about college students doing the same thing in Ann Arbor

Sure, there are laws against littering and dumping, but like most laws, such laws are for the law abiding. I don’t need a law to “deter” me from throwing my kitchen garbage in the street, so such laws are lost on me. Of course, for the kind of people who do throw their trash in the street, the laws are equally useless, for they are as undeterred as they are undeterrable. Moreover, the police tend not to enforce littering laws against the littering classes. It’s a question of priorities; police don’t want to squander time on “quality of life” issues. Not when there are plenty of opportunities to raise revenue ticketing affluent citizens going too fast on their way to work. The latter are much easier to deal with, and can be depended on to pay the fines that are the lifeblood of the system. This is easy to understand if you put yourself in the position of a cop. Who would you rather deal with? An affluent speeder who will take the ticket and drive away, or a bottom feeder who is unwilling even to toss his garbage into the nearest trash can and who might give you lice?

Perzactly. For those who think I overthink stuff, read Eric’s site. He’s the master of making connections that don’t look all that connected until he’s done.

US out of  Afghanistan!

We can confirm that one ISAF-contracted civilian died when three individuals wearing Afghan National Security Forces uniforms and driving an ANSF vehicle forced their way on base and turned their weapons against International Security Assistance Force service members and civilians today in eastern Afghanistan. All three individuals were killed during the engagement and the area has been secured by ISAF and ANSF. Afghan and coalition officials are looking into the circumstances of this incident.

Fuck the boy fucking savgages. I’ll tell you the “circumstances”, those fucking boy-fucking savages like killing Americans. I say we tell them we’re leaving, have some SF guys make a few house calls then drop a bunch of MOABs around the place, including both sides of the Afghanistan/Pakistan border and let them know they really don’t want us coming back, cuz next time we won’t be landing, we’ll just send B-52s, A-10s, AC-130s and Apaches. Have a nice day.

I’ve been seeing this article since early in the Aughts, the Sun is refusing to do what solar scientists think it should be doing.

Sunspot numbers are well below their values from 2011, and strong solar flares have been infrequent,’ the space agency says.

The image above shows the Earth-facing surface of the Sun on February 28, 2013, as observed by the Helioseismic and Magnetic Imager (HMI) on NASA’s Solar Dynamics Observatory.

It observed just a few small sunspots on an otherwise clean face, which is usually riddled with many spots during peak solar activity.

But the Sun is still quiet, and that’s why global worming is “suspended”, not because Gaia stepped out for a beer.

This makes me laugh.

Experts have been baffled by the apparent lack of activity – with many wondering if NASA simply got it wrong.

The hell you say! James Hansen’s group getting the Sun wrong?!?!?!?! Will Wonders Never Cease?

Why, next you’ll be saying that Global Worming will not cause the Earth to Explode! (hilarious PDF warning)

The heat generated inside our planet is predominantly of radionic (nuclear) origin. Hence, Earth in
its entirety can be considered a slow nuclear reactor with its solid ”inner core” providing a major contribution to the total energy output. Since radionic heat is generated in the entire volume and cooling can only occur at the surface, the highest temperature inside Earth occurs at the center of the inner core. Overheating the center of the inner core reactor due to the so-called greenhouse effect on the surface of Earth may cause a meltdown condition, an enrichment of nuclear fuel and a gigantic atomic explosion.

You have to admire the mind that thought that one up. My only question is, was it for real or did Steamboat McGoo slip one in on them?

Another Veeshing Post

Posted: March 7, 2013 by veeshir in Exploding things, FAIL, Fun with Elections, Fun With Media, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP FAIL, Liberal Fascism, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, Paultardia, PEBKAC
5

I’ll cast the nets.

I think this one will be short on links, long on commentary, let’s find out!

Above the Post Update! (so Ignore that “First up” you’ll see later on)

Anybody see the show “Vikings” on the History Channel? Yes, they interrupted Pawn Stars to air a show about history, I was as surprised as anybody. It was actually decent. It’s a soap opera, but it’s with Vikings. Pretty cool. I hope it doesn’t go too soap opera-y because it was pretty good. Hot shield maiden, evil king, dreaming inventory/adventurer type. My only problem is that Viking women wear far too much clothing. That’s probably why it’s not on HBO or Skinemax.

Now, back to the post!

 

First up, we’ve all seen McCain getting all jealous that someone else is taking his “maverick” label, so he needed to quash that quickly. Well, Rand Paul fired back. It’s a minitrue link (the Hill), so there will be some hilarity.

“They think the whole world is a battlefield, including America, and that the laws of war should apply,”….

“I don’t think the laws of war apply to America,

Eggzactly.

Speaking of Obama’s Cox Skybomber Armada, via paco noticing moonbattery,  we get this

north-by-northwest

It’s hilarious, until you think about it. Where’s Northwestern University again?

A Veeshir Vearless Vrediction for 2016: Jeb Bush or some similar spit in my eye is nominated, Rand Paul is boned by the establishment during the primary. He runs as a libertarian as GOPers explain we need to suck it up and vote for Jeb Bush-type. Rand Paul gets more votes as a libertarian than the GOP but lose to Hillary/First Worf  ticket and all the post-mortems explain how it’s the fault of the unhelpful tea party types who refused to suck it up and vote for the less bad alternative.

Here’s one way they’ll attack him, figuring stuff out is hard, and Rand Paul makes an error I’m surprised someone who managed to be elected Senator would make, he mentions things that are not easily understood but are easily demagogued.

He mentioned some Lochner case that is not the crazy guy in AZ who shot a bunch of people including killing a judge (but he’s conservative so we don’t hear about him) and shot a congresscritter (who’s a Dem so we hear about her all the time). It has something to do with discrimination against women.

So lefties can demagogue him as hating wymyn, as you read this at Volokh where he seems to agree with Rand Paul, you’ll find your eyes drooping and your attention wandering as it’s full of inside Supreme Court stuff.

Rand Paul might be right, but that’s about the least important metric there is in politics today. What matters is that he hates wymyn.

He might do pretty well on the Libertarian ticket, if people like John Stewart can overcome their sucking of Democratic dick to notice he agrees with what they claim to believe.  I mean, sure Stewart is on his side now, but there’s no election coming up. The proof is in the pudding. And until my balls are in the pudding, I’m not counting on shit.

Velly Funny. The sequester is making it so Obama’s constant golfing/vacationing is going to be bad optics. Poor Obama.

For Mr. Obama, the months ahead will be tricky. Few people object to a president taking some time to relax — to work out, play basketball, sit on a beach, go to dinner.

Seriously, you’d have to click through to get the full, “Leave Britney..Obama alone” vibe. I ain’t linking the NY Times though, I avoid fanboi pages when I can, especially considering how they bashed Bush when he took those vacations to his own home.

This is true for so many reasons it’s going to be hard to stick to just a couple.

Court Justice Anthony Kennedy said Wednesday that congressional lawmakers need to maintain the nation’s balance of power by being able to compromise, expressing concerns that the high court is increasingly the venue for deciding politically charged issues such as gay marriage, health care and immigration.

That’s cuz politicians like keeping wedge issues alive that are used for fundraising. It’s also because Minitrue always frames them to show that the Dems are sane and GOP is insane (and hates them some wymyn and minorities) but since the Dems are on the wrong side so far as America itself is concerned (whenever gay marriage goes to the polls it loses)  they don’t want to vote for it.
Relatedly, leftists have discovered that it’s easier to convince a few people than it is to convince voters so their venue is lawfare.

What makes it interesting is that it’s Kennedy saying it, it’s often not 9 deciding, it’s him. What he had for breakfast or whether he got laid last night can decide whether the Constitution means one thing or something else.

I’m torn on this one.

Officials at NASA’s Langley Research Center permitted a contractor to hire a Chinese national affiliated with an organization designated by U.S. national security agencies as an “entity of concern,” and then allowed the individual access to classified information…

On the one hand, it’s NASA, they don’t do anything really important anymore, they just do Muslim outreach, on the other hand, they used to do important stuff so there might be some serious tech that this guy and the others they haven’t noticed yet have stolen. On the gripping hand, didn’t Clinton already sell them all the stuff NASA has anyway? They haven’t done anything new since the 90s, right?

My new, America First, Furriners Second format seems to be setting in. Here’s where I have the transition post, involving overseas and the US.

Turkey sent bin Laden’s brother in law to Jordan where we picked him up and he’s talking. First, thank you Turkey and Jordan, I would expect that from Jordan, but not from the budding jihadis in Turkey. Unless they’re the opposite sect of Islamic jihadis and are just trying to get rid of the competition. That’s actually the way to bet.

Let’s go to Egypt. For Good News!

Thousands of low-ranking policemen on strike across Egypt on Thursday refused orders to work and protested what they claim is the politicization of the force in favor of the president’s Muslim Brotherhood party.

Wait, good news out of Egypt? That’s unexpected. Especially as I haven’t been ‘for’ a strike in a long time.

Back to the USA

Via Ninme, we get something that shows that today’s problems aren’t new, they’re just farther along the slider.

The only thing wrong with that vid is they really needed to highlight Daisy Mae some more.

Round the Tubes: Getting Mah Teh Funny Back!

Posted: March 5, 2013 by veeshir in China, Exploding things, FAIL, Fun with Elections, Fun With Media, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP FAIL, Hotassery, Jitardis, Liberal Fascism, Mideast Madness, Moron of the Day, Nanny State, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault
3

I tried yesterday, but I was forcing it, it just wasn’t funny. But this morning I got a good belly laugh. I’ll save that story for a while.

Let’s start in Iraq.  Remember how we overthrew the Ba’athist Party (like Ba’al worship but with more baby killing) in Iraq?

As many as 40 Syrian soldiers and government employees have been killed by unidentified gunmen in Iraq.

They were among a group of Syrian nationals who crossed the border into Iraq to escape a Syrian rebel attack last week.

Iraqi officials were escorting the group to the Syrian border when they came under fire in the town of Akashat in Anbar province.

Authorities say a number of Iraqi soldiers were also killed in the ambush.

So are we allies with Syria now as J Effin Kerry is offering money to the people fighting them? Obama does like to fight both sides of any conflict (except against me).

In boy-fucking savage news, Obama’s partners for peace are helping Pakistani soldiers be all peaceful.

The Movement of the Taliban in Pakistan released a videotape on the fighting in the Mehsud areas of South Waziristan which includes graphic footage of the mutilation of several Pakistani soldiers who appear to have been killed in a firefight last summer

First, you have to admit that it’s kind of funny that the same boy-fucking, murderous, torturers who love to mutilate…well everybody and everything got their turbans in a bunch when some Marines pissed on their dead.

Also, I finally figured something out, when Taliban types say Religion of Peace, they mean “peaceful as the grave”, I feel so stupid I never figured that out before.

I call bullshit on this, but you have to respect the idiocy.

An Israeli soldier desecrated a Quran when he kicked it during a [religious] teaching workshop in the Al-Aqsa Mosque courtyards, and hit female students participating in the workshop,

Wait, no you don’t. Another example of exporting our values, we all know Minitrue just makes shit up to attack their enemies (me).

But you’d think that people who have set rules for how to beat the women they own would think of something other to accuse Israel of. Eh, it makes them murderously happy, so that’s all that matters.

Intellesting, the Norks have said they’re not abiding by the cease-fire.

North Korea warned it will cancel the Korean War cease-fire agreement on March 11

Apcray, there are two things wrong with that. First, where’s fucking McArthur when you need him?

Second, I turn 50 later on this month and I have a bunch of bets riding on me making it to 50 (you wouldn’t believe the odds I got 30 years ago), how fucking much would it suck if I lost that bet because the fucking Norks KILL US ALL!!!!!!!?

Eh, that’s all the overseas links I have. Let’s go back to America! My favorite country, it’s where I keep all my shit.

First, I can’t decide if this is funny, very funny, or endishly funny.

Jeb Bush has been making the rounds, calling me a racist hater who hates me some immigrants.

“It relates to this question of, we want your vote but we really don’t want you (asians V) on our team.”

Eh, standard Bush fare after all. Just cuz it’s lefties attacking McConnell for his slant-eyed wife, we all know the GOP is where the racism is.

This is where where You Make The Call!, this is the part I mean.

Bush, who would be a leading contender for the 2016 GOP presidential nomination if he chooses to run

A leader for the GOP nomination? I guess, if the GOP has decided they just don’t want anybody but the establishment to vote GOP next election. I would think he’s more likely to be running on another party’s ticket.

I was just thinking about how hilarious it would be if we went Bush-Clinton-Bush-Obama-Bush, with the twist at the end that Bush III runs as a Dem!

Think about it, Obama is not going to make Bush’ mistake, he’s going to jettison Biden before his last year so he can have an electable VP to run (Or he’s going to try to run a third time, but I’m not into that paranoia yet), so why not Bush? It’s so fucking hilariously infuriating that it just might happen!

In more, “We have no idea what the fuck is going on” GOP news, we read this,

The National Republican Senatorial Committee plans to expand its press operation to train campaigns earlier in the cycle on how to better handle the kind of candidate missteps that have plagued its party’s nominees.

The goal? To avoid what’s become known in GOP circles as “Todd Akin moments.”

You idiots want to avoid a “moment”? How about you avoid a McCain/Graham moment?

Nahhhh, they know how to win elections. Let’s be Dem lite! People like Dems, they’ll like Dem Lite even more! It’s worked so well the last two presidential elections!

As we all know, the Menendez deal is All About Sex(tm), so the Wash Post found some hooker to say, “I lied about Menendez”. So the Daily Caller notices, Hey, that’s the wrong hooker! A problem though, the Wash Post isn’t likely to post corrections, you can’t make a story All About Sex(tm) if you keep confusing people with corrections. And the few tens of thousands of people who will see the Daily Caller link? They’re just Tea Bagging assholes who can be safely ignored.

A little WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!! from the sequester news.

First, just cuz they’re going to be furloughing a billion gov’t workers doesn’t mean they need to stop hiring critical workers.

Agriculture Department said it needs three “insect production workers” to help grow bollworms in Phoenix.

You have to admit, that’s a nice touch.

At first glance this will make Radley Balko happy. The Navy is getting out of the war on drugs.

U.S. Navy frigates will stop patrolling for drug runners by April because of forced sequestration budget cuts

Until he realizes that it will just mean domestic law-enforcement will just  have to spend more time and energy kicking down old ladies’ doors to shoot them and their little dogs too.

Sean at the NC Gun Blog (he of the NYS Boycott,) also writes about various gun-related things in his area, like this choir-boy who was shot. But that’s not why I’m linking, I’m linking for the rap sheet Sean linked. Fucking guy kept being convicted of various crimes (including multiple, felon with a gun charges) and the only sentence he served fully was a 90 day sentence. He had one sentence that was a mininum of 16 months and a maximum of 20 months. He served 5.

Less than 1/3 of what they claimed was the “miniumum” for a felon who was caught for repeatedly breaking gun laws. But if some poor fool in NYS puts more than 7 rounds in his 10/22 magazine as he’s terrorizing some tin cans,  he’ll go to jail for just as long or longer.

I did learn something from that boycott, Vltor is pronounce “Ultor”, they use the Roman U. So when you call them “Ultor” you’ll have the satisfaction of some tool correcting you and snottily saying, “It’s V-L Tor”.

In Notes On Crushing the Revolution, we see Missouri working with DHS to start a nice, registration scheme.

It’s as if there’s a rush to see who can spark the revolution.

In, It Sure Is A Good Thing Obama Is So Weakened He Won’t Be Able To Nominate Unfit Judges news, we see Kagan and Sotomayor acting as we expect lefties to act.  Making up their minds long before they hear the facts of the case and browbeating anybody and everybody who disagrees with them. It’s too long to excerpt, read the whole thing if you have a problem getting started in the morning and you’re out of coffee or Red Bull.

This one makes me laugh.  We’re going to have THE HIGHEST TAX REVENUE EVAH!!!!!!!!!!! this year, according to projections that ignore reality. Repeat after me, the CBO’s projections are wishful thinking piled on an ignorance of reality. I look forward to articles next year that talk about how low tax receipts are. When Bush cut taxes we had high tax receipts, when people raise taxes, what they take in goes down. I’d suggest you ask NY and CA pols about that, but they just can’t figure that out even after decades of watching it happen.

In hopeful news, Texas outlaws drones taking pictures. (they make it clear the camera-vehicle is unmanned).

That’s a slashdot link, they seem to think it’s directed at people like them taking pictures on other’s land, probably. But it’s also directed at the gov’t, they include satellites, so it’s for google and the gov’t.

It’s about being private on your own land. I’m all in favor of that. When I get my compound in the desert, it’s gonna have tank traps and AA, so I kind of hope they send their Cox Skyspy/Skybomber to my land.

In very surprising news, Christians are now the most oppressed religion in the world. I’d guess that’s because all the places that really hate the Jews have either killed them all or driven them out.

Enough of the endy, let’s get to the funny. There are just so many today you’d better take a big sip of your coffee now. I’ll wait.

I occasionally take Lindsey Lohan (tits, hey google!) in S. Weasel’s Dead Pool, saying, “She’ll be found floating in Charlie Sheen’s pool”.

Charlie Sheen has already paid a portion of Lindsay Lohan’s taxes, and now he’s offering to officially be her mentor,

Stoaty’s next Dead Pool starts Friday, so none of you take my pick!

Via i Own the World (then fix it!), we find a story that saddens me.

A popular horse show in Ocala is under quarantine after six cases of equine herpesvirus were linked to the Marion County showground.

Okay, which one of you has been to Florida lately? I haven’t been there in two years.

Via Zilla at Batshit Crazy News, we find this bit of catshit crazy news.

I’m Nala. 20 years old. Cis, vegan, multiracial, bisexual, demisexual, pagan, plural, catkin, (emphasis added V)witch.

My preferred pronouns are: chim, chimself, cher, cherself, che, chi.

She’s a cat trapped in a human’s body.

Seriously, I would love to go back to 1958 and try to explain this century. You know they’d all say, “See? We told you Rock and Roll would destroy America!” and I wouldn’t be able to argue. I mean, look at what it did to the 80s?

Harvey at IMAO channels his inner Joe Biden (I figure by repeated blows to the head), and continues Slo Joe’s Field and Stream interview. What makes it either very fucking funny or not funny at all is that it’s hard to tell Harvey’s post from the Field and Stream interview.

JOE BIDEN: Well, that’s true Joe. And, you know I keep hearing this malarkey about how Barack and I want to take your guns away and, frankly, I don’t know how this stuff gets started. Listen to me! Listen to what I say here! No one, I mean no one is coming to take your guns! People, get real here!

LIBERAL INTERVIEWER: So then, what exactly are you and the president calling for?

JOE BIDEN: What Barack is proposing has nothing to do with the Second Amendment. And, let me say this again! No one is coming to take your guns. All we’re proposing is just much needed, common sense legislation that will make it a federal offense for a private citizen to own a firearm.

Heh. Sort of. I guess.

Wait, that’s not fucking funny at all!

And the big finish. Stop cheering you jerks.

Via Doug Ross, we see this cop blog from Chicago getting all hilarious.

The city is so short of cars that they are handling out “rentals” to detectives and to sergeants working VRI! Chevy Impalas with NO emergency equipment.

With this comment making me laugh, but many of the comments are awesome.

Yes it is true, in the D unit anyway. We have a car with some BS lights but no siren. It would make a lot more sense to give the bosses the “non police” rental cars and trickle down their unmarkeds to us. That will never happen though because they’ve “earned” their take home police cars!!

I can understand why they’re short on cop cars, I saw this high-speed pursuit on, I think, Foxnews the other day where they wrecked like hundreds of cop cars chasing two guys in black suits.

I mentioned “tits”, so you know what that means! Pictures of titlarks below the fold! Just don’t tell cher, che might come and eat them.

(more…)

No, I Don’t Have A Snow-White Tan And Other Alleged Things

Posted: March 4, 2013 by veeshir in China, Exploding things, FAIL, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP FAIL, Islam - a religion of tolerance and peace, Jitardis, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault
6

I live in AZ after all.

You know, I’m beginning to wonder if David Bowie was gay.

NYS Boycott up to 117.  Yay!

A drudgetaposition

Kataeb calls for making Lebanon-Syria border “military zone“

On The Border of War.

A little more jihadi news.

There really is nobody to root for in Yemen, al Quaeda in Yemen,  allegedly, we don’t know for sure, that’s what the murderous, Yemeni dictatorship calls anybody they don’t like) blew up a truck bomb.

But check this quote

A suicide car bomb driven by a suspected Al-Qaeda militant on Monday rammed into a building in south Yemen used by pro-government militiamen

So pretty much jihadi v jihadi.

Crush at Blackfive (link added) writes about China allegedly getting all frisky in the South China Sea says the quote that Americans used to understand as we learned it the hard way (WWII)

But whether or not China starts World War III, let’s at least realize that toothless, corrupt treaties are no replacement for naval superiority.

Yup. Too bad we have to keep relearning hard-earned lessons.

Unfortunately, we talk loudly and keep our big sticks in Norfolk. Right now we have 4 nukular aircraft carriers in Norfolk. (Plus the Enterprise that’s being retired).

Some interesting news.

Noting that Azerbaijan currently meets 40% of Israel’s demands on energy resources, the ambassador underscored the importance of high-level official visits in terms of further deepening the existing relations.

No seriously, I would have figured that being an eastern European country, they’d be all about Teh Jew Hating. You learn something new every day.

To steal a bit, News of the Tautological

I doubt that there will be any vigorous US policy in the South Caucasus in the near future.

Well duh, he only has vigorous policies designed to fuck with me.

In more Obama hilarity,

Obama is done trying to work with Republicans in 2013 and 2014. He is abandoning any real effort for bipartisan immigration, gun, or energy reform.

Bwahahahahahahhahahahaha. Cuz I Won has worked so well with everybody up to now. I mean, it’s not as if the Dems rammed a reordering of 1/6th of our economy using some stupid Senate trick.

I had a go-round with someone here about “needing” a gun where I said that I refuse to explain why I need anything. I understand I don’t use the right words, I know them, I just don’t like using them.

Steven den Beste, at Ace’s, explains it better than I do.

I can’t have anything unless I can prove I need it? Since when? So now is it the case that everything which isn’t provably necessary is instead forbidden?

Bingo, bango, bongo.

One of the things that cracks me up is two people looking at the same thing, saying the same thing yet meaning exactly the opposite. Robert Reich talking about Tea Party types.

Imagine a plot to undermine the government of the United States, to destroy much of its capacity to do the public’s business, and to sow distrust among the population.

Well yeah, that’s the whole fucking point, but he says it like it’s a bad thing.

For the last 30 years or a little longer NYS has been discussing making gambling legal in some upstate counties.

They were shooting for, I think, Ulster County.

There was a Friar who allegedly said there was Tuck ed an alleged Inn allegedly in alleged Ulster County that, allegedly according to alleged rumors I’ve heard from alleged people who allegedly saw it first hand (“you’ll see stuff, remember, you didn’t see nothing” allegedly), was allegedly mob-owned and allegedly already had the alleged tables and alleged rooms for alleged gambling and were allegedly in use but the pols just kept allegedly not making it legal.

Allegedly. This all stopped happening a long time ago, shortly after the Catskill Game Farm closed. Allegedly.

I always figured alleged mobsters in alleged Atlantic City or maybe certain alleged Indian tribes allegedly out-bribed the alleged mobsters who were allegedly trying to get gambling in Ulster County. That’s usually the way to bet  in NYS politics. Allegedly.

So the owner of Aqeduct, which apparently isn’t just a horse track but has some gambling that’s not full blown casino stuff, finally figured that the outside mobsters bribes were too large is going to spend his money building a casino in Vegas.

The operator of the Aqueduct gambling parlor is going to roll the dice in Vegas.

Not content with waiting for New York State to legalize Vegas-style casinos, Malaysian-based Genting announced today its building a multi-billion dollar, full-fledged casino resort complex on the Vegas strip.

Up the alleged bribes alleged dude.

Eh, that’s enough, allegedly, for today.

In Through The Out Tube

Posted: March 4, 2013 by veeshir in Catholicism, Edumakashun, Exploding things, FAIL, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP FAIL, Islam - a religion of tolerance and peace, Jitardis, Liberal Fascism, Mideast Madness, Nanny State, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, PEBKAC
1

Well there’s a link in your eye that keeps shining.

There is not a lot of love to be found, but why don’t you click some and make it all right?

I went to Kenya in 84, it was awesome. The people were cool, they liked Americans and only tried to sell me stuff (of course, I kept my cigs in my shirt pocket so many people helped themselves with a grin). That was about a year after their last civil war. One tribe  controlled the Air Force while another tribe, Danial arap Moi’s, controlled the Army. The Army won (yay!, the other tribe wanted to kill whitey). It looks as if the tribal war is heating up.

Just before the polls opened it was reported that four policemen were hacked to death by a gang of machete-wielding youths in the area of Mombasa.

Apcray.  It’s too bad, Kenya was awesome. If you’re ever in a Swahili-speaking country, umbili beer burridisan (phonetic) means “2  beers cold please”.

In more murderous African news, we at least get some hilarity .

headline

Sudan Ramps Up Its Persecution of Christians

How exactly does that work? They’ve been killing and enslaving Christians for a long time now, how do you ramp up murder, rapine, expulsion from their land and slavery? Are they signing them up for magazine subscriptions they don’t want?

And lest the people of Darfur start thinking the murderous  Religion of Peace-ists running the country have forgotten them, they’re killing them too!

Sudan breached UN sanctions by using warplanes and rockets bought from Belarus and Russia in the Darfur conflict,

Business as usual in other words, with Russia and their pet dictator in Belarus providing peaceful weapons in a peaceful manner (peaceful as a grave).

But there is some interesting news, apparently there’s a civil war going on and the rebels are not doing too shabbily.

The fight for El Kurmuk — which Sudan’s army has denied — is the most serious for more than a year in Blue Nile state, which has been largely sealed from the outside world.

“There has been heavy fighting since the start of this week,” said the source, who cannot be identified.

Rebels claimed on Sunday to have pushed into Kurmuk’s southwest.

I’ll tell you what, generals might not want to get involved in a land war in Asia, but nobody wants to get involved in any fucking war in Africa. Being hacked partially apart with a machete or being shot by a 9 year old with an AK is so commonplace as to be not even notable.

Plagues in Egypt. I’ve read that book, it doesn’t end well.

The last time I respected a Law & Order episode was about female genital mutilation, that was a time when lefties almost (they came so close) admitted that some cultures just suck. It’s still going on and the only way to eradicate it is to stop pretending that brutal, murderous cultures don’t suck.

That’s enough African barbarity, I just can’t take it. When I was young I used to wonder why I deserved to be born in America and not there. That’s when I realized that it’s best not to think about it, just be grateful.

Speaking of murderous cultures that suck, I see a shortage of meat hooks for dragging people through the streets on the horizon.

Gaza’s Hamas rulers say they will begin a new campaign to find Palestinian collaborators with Israel.

Yay…?

I had some other middle east stuff, but just accept they’re working on killing everybody.

In an article about the criteria for the new pope I learned an awesome new word,  “Papabile”. It means that you’re considered in the running for Pope. Let’s see if I can work it into a sentence.

I’m palpably unpapabile!

Let’s go to America! I live there so it interests me.

In an update to the article about the kid being suspended for tackling another kid with a gun on a bus, we find it’s not so cut and dried. Jay at MaRooned finds some other stuff.

The boy’s mother told Fox4Now.com her son was suspended because he refused to cooperate with the investigation, adding that he was scared.

I’m not sure if that’s a mitigating fact, but apparently there could be more to the story than zero-tolerance assholes.

In more school hilarity, a kid raps out the lyrics from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air as his voice mail, school idjit calls to leave message, freaks out, calls cops because of threat (the fool didn’t understand what he meant by “shooting B-ball”). so the school was locked down and the kid was arrested. They let him go, but this is the part in every one of these misunderstandings that’s a perfect microcosm of America in the 21st Century.

Acting police Chief James Mann says police acted “appropriately” out of concern for students’ welfare.

Yeah, because you assholes actually listening to the “threat” before dispatching SWAT would have been too much like police work. Fuck you.

Via Gateway Pundit we find out that Obama isn’t happy with just an RC armada aimed at me, they need the vehicles (MRAPs) the Marines use in Iraq and Afghanistan for use against me. Ladies, gentlemen, readers of this blog I give you:

The new DHS sanctioned ‘Street Sweeper’ (my own slang due to the gun ports)…

I keel you

You have to love the “rescue” on the side. That’s just so perfectly Orwellian/Obamian.

Shit. Now we’re going to need tank traps and pitfalls as well as AA.

Speaking of which, a puppy blender post in its entirety (chopped into two quotes)

BOEHNER: We’ll consider any gun measures that pass the Senate. Some are upset about this, but I think it’s more a way of putting endangered Dems in the Senate on the spot, channeling Kurt Schlichter.

That’s hilarious, the only time Boehner uses machiavellian tactics is on me.

More

Related: Sen. Joe Manchin Really Doesn’t Want To Talk About Guns. “Editor’s note: This question and answer session was permitted under the condition that The Journal would not ask questions regarding gun control legislation or the Second Amendment, as requested by the senator’s staff.”

Get it? You can’t ask a Dem a wedge issue question. Remember folks, Petite lap giraffe good, petite lap press bad.

In a follow up on the story of the guy in Indiana jailed for pissing off the Laird (judge) of the land, lots of people are pissed off.

The group is led by University of California Los Angeles law professor Eugene Volokh and includes conservative lawyer James Bopp, a former executive director of the Indiana Civil Liberties Union, the Indiana Association of Scholars, The Indianapolis Star and the James Madison Center for Free Speech.

Good. But this part scares me.

It also argued their truthfulness were not necessarily relevant to prosecution because the harm, which in this case was striking fear in the victim, occurred “whether the publicized conduct is true or false,

I thought truth was a defense in America? Oh right, I forgot, you can’t piss of the powerful or they’ll send their RC air force and MRAPs after you.

In more revolution news, Alaska is working on a bill to tell the feds to fuck off if they try to take guns. Good.

So the USS Harry Truman (the buck stops before getting there) is in dock because they can’t afford to fuel it as the State Dept. spends a half $billion on global warmmongering. I hate paying for someone else’ religion.

Which is scarier, a rope swing across a canyon

The behind-the-scenes video describes it as a “400-foot free fall pendulum rope swing between a slot canyon.”

or this?

Don’t forget, if it’s not GONNA KILL US ALL!!!! it’s just not funny enough.

Round the Tubes, I’m Not The One Who Took That Gif Off the Top

Posted: March 3, 2013 by veeshir in China, Exploding things, Filthy Hippies, Fun With Media, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP FAIL, Green Goofs, Hotassery, Jitardis, Liberal Fascism, Mideast Madness, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, Transportation Stupidity Assholes
0

Edition.

upton

If I were her, that’s what I would do all day too.

Not sure why I bother posting anything after that, but what the hell.

Actually, this is an easy post, if I piss people off nobody will notice, not even the 4 people who actually read the posts.

First, let’s go to EUnuchstan.

Last week we saw the EUnuchs saying the problem in the Middle East is them dam, dirty, Jews. This week they’re saying, “Sorry”.

No, not that they said that, that people found out they were saying that. That was only for upper-class EUnuchstanian Oligarchs to know about.

The EUnuchs are really not happy about Italy’s election and the hits keep hitting.

That article explains how the guy whose party’s platform is to not work with anybody is the new Mussolini! (fascism is based on ‘fasces”, bundles of sticks, i.e. working together).

The stand-up comedian Beppe Grillo, like the fascist dictator Benito Mussolini before him, has a craving to take over the piazza and mesmerise the crowd.

They then list a whole bunch of other ‘similarities’, but they leave out the most damning. They both speak Italian!

That story is absolutely correct about everything.

Check that. It’s only correct in the spelling of his name. For instance, they call it the “Vaffa” Day Protests instead of the Vaffanculo Day Protests. Vaffa does not mean the same thing, they call them the “Fuck Off” protests instead of the “Fuck you up your ass” protest. Perhaps a subtle difference, but one anybody with an ass should be able to see.

That was what I had to weed my way through last week to find a story that didn’t make up obvious stuff.

Some Italy stuff that’s not full of shit.

During these elections, all that’s wrong with Italian politics in the last 20 years has finally caught up to us. The government’s relationship — and lack of communication — with the Italian people has led to an unprecedented height of pure electoral protest.

Yup.  I just hope we can go the same route and not the route our social, moral, political and intellectual betters seem to be hell bent on going down.

This is the seqway from EUnuchstan to other continents! It’s like a segue, but phonetically spelled. The Italians are trying to do some furrin aid, but being Italians they’re not just giving money.

Italians teach locals in Burkina Faso both the recipe for pizza, and the formula for a successful small business.

As they say, buy a man a pizza and you feed him for a football game. Teach him how to make a pizza and drunks will try to give him money at 3 in the morning.

More Africa, This one is funny on a few levels. As we know, Egyptians are pretty much just protesting everything, here we have soccer fans protesting John Kerry leaving their country.

Hundreds of Egyptian football fans blocked a main road to Cairo’s international airport on Sunday, forcing a delay in visiting US Secretary of State John Kerry’s departure

You’d think they’d protest him entering the country plus, I can only assume that Kerry, being French and a eunuch, would like soccer. Eh, they’re happy so that’s all that matters.

What continent is Lebanon on? Asia, right? Well, whatever, it’s a transitional spot so let’s go there.

They’re actually starting to fight back against Hezbollah.

Sunni Sheikh Ahmad al-Assir expressed his willingness to militarily protect himself and his followers from Hezbollah members allegedly stationed near his Sidon mosque.

It’s a good time for that, what with Hezbollah sending so many of their terrorist north to aid Assad kill Syrians.

I’d bet Mossad is watching and I gotta figure they’re helping, when jihadi fights jihadi,  Israel is happy.

Iran’s in Asia right? So let’s continue our way across that continent. That article is about the players in some Iranian, faux-election that allows EUnuchs and John Effin Kerry (BIRM) to pretend they’re elected.

It’s not all that important, in other words, I’m just linking to it because of their continued use of “Right wing”, they do it for a few candidates.

Saeed Jalili

His name was mentioned as a potential right-wing candidate,

WTF does that mean? Is he for lower taxes and decreasing the size of gov’t or is he Hitler or is he not close enough to Hitler? I figure it just means, “He’s bad”, so another example of exporting our values! Right wingers=Bad.

Now let’s seg our way to China.

Apparently, one, two, three, four, let’s have a currency war!

Now I understand I have very little idea how economics works (I have to take the dollar signs off to make change), but China is a shithole country that would be even shittier without foreign exchange.

We can survive without them, we’ll just have to buy toys that don’t kill our kids but at a higher price, they’ll have to sell their shitty, toxic, junk to each other.

While we’re boned economically, the rest of the world is exponentially more boned. Especially commie nations where they make up their numbers and nobody really has any idea what the fuck is going on. (See, Russia 1989).

That’s enough of THEY’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!, let’s try a little WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!

A little drudgetaposition.

TSA’s hiring freeze, sequestrially-caused, will increase lines for waiting to be groped.

TSA expands groping to RRs, roads, waterways, ports, the hallway between your bedroom and the bathroom, etc.

TSA related, they explain how what you saw in that video last week wasn’t what you saw. They were respectful and all you assholes saying otherwise are liars, you’d better arrive at the airport at least 36 hours ahead of your flight if they know who you are (and they do).

A week or two ago I talked about how it was good that two innocent people who were shot by bad guys didn’t have guns or there might have been a gun-fight. I thought I was joking.

A Florida high school student wrestled a loaded gun away from another teen (who was aiming at another studentV) on the bus ride home this week and was slapped with a suspension in return. (due to being involved in a gun-related incident V)

Tar, feathers, a rail and a few baseball bats seem required. Heinlein saved his worst vitriol for school boards but I never understood that until I was in my 30s. I went to Catholic School so they didn’t have school boards.

See? This is one of the reasons I get so fucking pissed off about “Standing“. I can’t sue the gov’t for saying they have the right to kill me with their RC air force, but Masshole pols are making sure that animal “rights” idjits can sue hunters and dog owners for hunting and dog owning.

Fuck. Eco-wackos can sue all and sundry over their religion, but I can’t sue the feds for saying they can kill me.

Speaking of the RC armada,

The U.S. Department of Homeland Security has customized its Predator drones, originally built for overseas military operations, to carry out at-home surveillance tasks that have civil libertarians worried: identifying civilians carrying guns and tracking their cell phones, government documents show.

So when you’re drone hunting….skeet shooting, turn off your phone and remove the battery. As for knowing I’m armed, well, it’s gonna find that out anyway.

So the conservatives in the GOP have a plan.

Remember when I said that we weren’t going to see a budget just another continuing resolution that’s totally not a bloated budget full of earmarks?

The draft continuing resolution (CR) assumes the sequester, set to begin cutting government spending by $85 billion on Friday, is left in place, which conservatives see as a way to reduce deficits.

Looking better and better all the time (or rather, worse and worse).

Fuck.

High-fucking-larious.  Obama’s job approval is going down! That’s super-duper important!!!!!!! There’s no way he’s going to be re-elected next Novem…..wait, that doesn’t mean shit.

He never cared about his popularity, he only cared about making his opponents look worse. Now he doesn’t even have to give a shit about that.

Some humor.The first one is anti-climatic.

Via Gateway Pundit,  we see my favorite global warmmongering idjits.

The ones who so totally believe their religion that they go to the North or South Pole bringing extra sunscreen and a bathing suit(warning, unsafe, yellow-journalism, Minitrue sub-outlet at Wash Post).

So this tool went to Antarctica to highlight global worming and

British explorer Ranulph Fiennes on Monday pulled out of an expedition to cross Antarctica during the region’s winter after developing frostbite (emphasis mine V)

Global warmmongers really just are fucking clueless about reality.

Added later: isn’t Antarctica in the southern hemisphere? Isn’t it summer there when it’s winter here? So it’s summer there and not winter, right? I’d bet that whichever Winston Smith they had working on that article put that in to make it seem as if it’s supposed to be colder

I’ve been reading this guy off and on for years. He used to have a faux-commie blog that confused people so he moved to War Planner.  It’s a cool blog on military stuff usually, here he goes for Teh Funny.

This asshole looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, “Is that Corona or Bud?”

I said, “There’s a tap underneath; taste it and find out.”

—-

I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, “If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you’d look all right.”

I told her, “If I did that, I’d be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”

—-

I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.

“Really” she said, “Go on then…try.”

After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said.

“Come on, what day was I born”?

I said, “Yesterday.”

—-

I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today.

The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

(Why does it seem so much worse to be peeing like that instead of doing it while you’re  in the pool?V)

—-

I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.

I said, “Nice legs.”

The girl giggled and said with a smile, “Do you really think so.”

I said “Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now. “

Have fun folks, but not too much fun, cuz the more fun we have the more likely WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!

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