Archive for the ‘Funniest End of Civilization Evah’ Category

Some rare kudos from me to Chris Christie for putting Kaci Hickox in quarantine. Somewhat under-reported is that she briefly spiked a fever.

I don’t know about you, but when somebody who has had direct contact with Ebola patients comes home and has a measurable fever, a bit of a time-out is in order.

Fuck her and the horse she rode in on for complaining about her rights being violated.

But hey – let’s make the story all about how Christie (and Cuomo) might run for President and could have ulterior motives.

While I prefer to root out, I’ll burrow out and try to make Mojo happy.

 

A sad story about a group dedicated to resistance losing their mojo. Speaking of ISIS and al Nusra (al quaeda) V Hezbollah

For a long time Hezbollah trained its fighters for surprise guerilla warfare and defense in small groups. Its activities in resisting Israel were made legend, and the image of fighters taking part in that resistance was romanticized. This attracted young volunteers and earned the reverence of the masses….

Today, Hezbollah is living the nightmare it once inflicted on the Israeli occupation by using small groups of fighters and swift withdrawals. It is being attacked by small groups, no bigger than two platoons, or 50 members. They kill, wound and plunder as much as they like before withdrawing. Worse than that, they film the insides of positions and the TOW missiles being taken away; something the party was never able to accomplish against its Israeli enemy.

 

Seriously, all they need are that blond nitwit to say, “Leave Hezbollah Alone!!!!”

I’m not a fan of ISIS or al Nusra, but watching Hezbollah get their asses handed to them by jihadi assholes is high-fucking-larious.

Another from Lebanon Now! that made me cringe/laugh.

Also, one has to understand that even though the initial reason for the US airstrikes was to save the Yazidis, the ongoing strikes are now viewed by many as only serving Shiites. For some Sunnis – extremist or not – there is a sense of injustice that when it came to saving Sunnis in Syria, nobody came, but when it was for the Shiites, the West intervened. This is a very strong sentiment that has many convinced that the West has lost its neutrality and chosen the Shiite/Iran camp over the Sunnis in the centuries-long conflict between the two sects. The recent photo-ops at the UN between Western leaders, including Prime Minister Cameron and President Hollande, with Iran’s President Rouhani have only added fuel to the fire.

 

Iran will have the last laugh. For the third time in the past 13 years, the West has unintentionally come to save Tehran – first against the Taliban in 2001, then against Saddam Hussein in 2003 and now against ISIS.

 

Obama does like to be on both sides of any war so I’m sure he’s looking for somewhere to fight for Sunni’s against Shiites. Probably Yemen or Saudi Arabia I’d guess.

Is Turkey Chicken? for not fighting ISIS harder?

Me? I’d bet they’r trying to pretend they’re against them while actually being on ISIS’ side.

 

This should end well.

…Sweden. Because the government decided to offer residence permits to every Syrian who requests one, it’s estimated that by the end of 2014 another 80,000 will have come.

Well, not so much end well as make Denmark and Finland laugh their asses off.

This makes me laugh.

The Swedish Democrats — the extreme-right xenophobic party that has come to be known as a “reformed Nazi group” — were previously alone in regarding immigration as a “problem” for the nation. But since the country’s Sept. 14 elections, they have become the country’s third-largest political force.

 

You can almost hear the confused leftists saying, “Sure they’re still hated cuz of Teh Hatred, but maybe they were right about that whole immigration thing. Well, not so much right as not totally wrong. But diversity is still Da Bomb!”

 

In, The Peepul Are Revolting Sire (We Know, They Smell Too) News, we have Connecticut:

he peculiar case started when Scott Lazurek, a security guard, was arrested in June 2013 for failing to show police his gun permit….

The prosecutor, Assistant State’s Attorney John Barney, said Lazurek was basically arrested for being “stubborn” and giving police a “hard time” — not for a permit violation.

 

 

Get that? He was arrested for not being sufficiently deferential to his betters. So he got his permit back and now the State wants him to know they are not amused so they’re going after him again.

Tar and feathers are the most polite response I can think of.

 

Oooh, this has to really piss off serial-make-a-mistaker Hansen at NASA,

Sea ice surrounding Antarctica reached a new record high extent this year, covering more of the southern oceans than it has since scientists began a long-term satellite record to map sea ice extent in the late 1970s.

Heh.  They’re still trying to fuck that global worming chicken, but you can tell it’s forced. Gaia just does not seem to be influenced by how much they care.

 

Now, I usually try not to be too graphically disgusting, but I have to share this pic of a skidmark in my tighty-whiteys.

skidmark

 

It almost looks human, but it’s commie so…not fully human. More of a subhuman shitstain.

So a metaphor.

Via Babalu Blog, your one-stop-shopping for all things anti-Latin-American-Commie.

Via Doug Ross’ Larwyn’s Lynx, we see the Quote Of The Day.

A prominent conservative political pundit (George Freaking Will V) was uninvited from speaking at Scripps College, in a program designed to promote conservative views on campus, because of his conservative views.

 

The funniest part? Most of America would not have any idea why the rest of us  find that so funny.

 

It’s even funnier that it’s George Will. I’d bet a dollar he agrees with the Dem leadership more than most Dem voters do.

I haven’t been ‘tubin much lately, so I did my tour and boy is it ugly out there.

There is one funny part, we have Obama, Biden, Chuck, Please Take My Calls, Hagel and J. Effin Kerry on the the job.

Not so much just funny, but funny and endy. Which is better than just endy.

First, some Unexpected Coincidences.

Obama declares war on ISIS. Isis captures a regiment of Iraqi tanks (Abrams?) on their way to Baghdad.

presence in Abu Ghraib would put Baghdad International Airport within artillery range of the militants.

“We know they have captured substantial numbers of 155 mm howitzers,” …“These have a range of about (20 miles) and if they are able to hold territory in Abu Ghraib then the concern they can shell (the airport)…

 

You realize what that means? We will get to see Josh Earnest say that ISIS is not at the Baghdad Airport as we’re watching ISIS tanks roll through the airport on split-screen.  We need the Koch brothers to offer him a few $million to wear a beret when he does that.

The Lebanese give Obama his grades on Syria.  Unlike Americans, they do not grade Obama on a curve.

By bombing the Al-Nusra Front in addition to ISIS, the US may have driven two terrorist organizations that have been at war with each other for almost a year closer together. According to the Guardian’s Martin Chulov, “[m]any al-Nusra units in northern Syria appeared to have reconciled” with ISIS and leaders from both were now holding war-planning meetings to discuss a rapprochement or strategic merger. Whether one formally takes places, with Ayman al-Zawahiri presiding over the marriage or not, seems more an academic question than an operational concern: already 73 Nusra militants have “defected” to ISIS as a result of the air strikes, proving yet again that nothing nullifies jihadi hermeneutics and the narcissism of their tiny differences faster than Tomahawk missiles.

 

I generally don’t trust the Gruaniad, but since they probably have members of various jihadi groups in their newsrooms, I’ll accept their judgement on stuff like that.

Poor bastards, they picked the wrong POTUS to go for freedom.

So what does this say?

Police officers deny claims that they have colluded with those who used violence against the (Pro-Democracy V) demonstrators.

 

When murderous commie thugs deny something, they’re doing it.

I love the headline on this one.

Insight – Chinese troops play symbolic role in Hong Kong drama over democracy

That’s from roto-reuters, who seem to think the threat of actions by the army of murderous commie dictators is symbolic.  They blather on about how China won’t risk the furious frowning of frumious philosopers in EUnuchstan and then note this.

The Chinese military is housed in 19 urban and rural sites inherited after the British folded up the Union Jack on what had been a major military staging post of the British empire and a vital Cold War-era listening post.The bases, dotted strategically across Hong Kong island, Kowloon and the New Territories, include the old British Tamar headquarters building in Admiralty, now next door to the government’s new offices – and the epicentre of the current demonstrations.

The building was recently refurbished, along with other sites, and is now topped with a red neon star. Most of its offices are thought to be occupied, some for the first time.

A large domed surveillance camera sits perched above a corner over one of the main thoroughfares leading to Hong Kong’s glittering Central financial district.

 

Yeah, symbolic.

Related, as per FrnakJ once said, blood is symbolic of blood. I’m sure the pro-democracy protesters are fully aware of that fact.

I have to wonder if the next two stories are related.

Obama offers help to Philippines.

Filipino troops position themselves near a marine amphibious assault vehicle manned by their US counterparts during a mechanized assault exercise as part of the 2014 Amphibious Landing Exercise (PHIBLEX) at the Naval Education and Training Command (NETC) in Zambales on Sunday. Around 1,000 Filipino and 3,000 US marines and sailors will join the annual joint military exercise that will last for 12 days.

Philippines don’t want to act ‘provocative’ toward the expansionist, murderous, commie dictators.

The Philippines has put infrastructure projects on hold in territories in the disputed South China Sea in a bid to ease tensions in the region

 

With Obama on your side you know you’re on your own.

Hell, he declared war on ebola and it ended up in America.  At least the Filipinos are paying attention.

This guy shot down a drone and now they’re wondering if they can charge him with something.

Don’t forget, you were skeet-shooting. You skeet-shoot all the time.

 

So as I end up I’m left with this lesson:

Just stop paying attention and hope that when it all blows up, my part of the world won’t blow up as much.

 

It’s either make a post or let the spammers take over. I can’t delete comments from any posts but my own, DPUD might have let me post here but he’s not fucking stupid.

So some stuff that’s happening.

First, if the 2016 GOP race boils down to Jeb Bush V Mitt Romney, we be boned harder and put away wetter.

 

Oliver Willis saying something stupid.  If I cared enough about him I’d have a macro for that.

He said something about how Muslims are the peaceful ones because Crusades.

I have never understood how people can whine for and allow Muslims to whine about the Crusades and not point and laugh.

The Muslims invaded the Holy Lands so the Christians replied, the Muslims won (the Temple Mount is now a mosque for instance).

So in other words, Muslims started a conflict, won it and now they’re whining about it.

Fuck em.

This is high-larious with a capital ENDY.

So as Obama has been ignoring Christians being hung, beheaded, crucified, tortured, enslaved and chased from their homes by ISIS, who is helping them?

Hezbollah is believed to be arming Christian groups affiliated with the Free Patriotic Movement (FPM) in villages east of Saida under the pretext of thwarting an Islamic State (ISIS) threat i

Fucking Hezbollah is treating Christians better than the US.

Anybody who disputes that things are funny and endy out there should re-read that sentence.

 

Speaking of Hezbollah, they’re showing Jihad Envy.

Comparing Hezbollah to Isis.

As the data show, ISIS is believed to have more fighters than Hezbollah, and to enjoy more abundant finances. This is in part a result of the vast territory it controls – perhaps 10 times as much as Hezbollah does – in which over half a dozen lucrative oil fields are at its disposal.

There’s a chart, it’s interesting.

 

Catalonia independence is chugging along.

The president of Spain’s powerful northeastern region of Catalonia on Saturday formally called an independence referendum,

If that goes through, look for the Basque to do the same.  Spain isn’t quite the stable country it looks at first, Portugal already broke off, now they could lose more. That would be interesting as ‘Spain has a 3-sided civil war.

 

Last but not least, Tsar Putin I is warning EUnuchs on Ukraine.

Alexei Miller, head of Russia’s top natural gas producer Gazprom, has warned of possible disruptions of Russian gas flows to Europe via Ukraine next winter,…

His comments, aired on Saturday by Russian state-owned TV channel Rossiya-24, a day after European Commission-brokered gas talks in Berlin, may indicate Moscow and Kiev are far from completely resolving their differences over conditions for gas supplies to Ukraine.

Tsar Putin I is letting the EUnuchs know that the dust-up with Ukraine is going to affect EUnuchstan so they would be smart to help Imperial Russia in their doings with one of their rebellious provinces.

 

I keep forgetting about China’s war in the South China Sea, here we see Indonesia is getting upset with China.

That makes it Indonesia, Philippines, Japan and Vietnam against China there. Should be interesting.

 

In global worming news, here we have Kate Upton in Antarctica and not an erect nipple to be seen.

Maybe Al Gore was right.

I haven’t been tubing for a while so when I did my rounds I found lots of stuff I didn’t know about.

Most of it not very funny but some of it terrifyingly  hilarious.

Let’s start with ISIS, it’s never funny and people get beheaded. First, an aside. Isis has been torturing, raping, beheading, hanging, crucifying and enslaving for a couple years now and they cut the heads off 3 journalists and now it’s WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Our media has its priorities, 1,000 people get killed and it’s just wogs fighting wogs, not our business. Let a journalist, an important person, get killed and that makes it personal.

So Isis is recruiting openly in our NATO ally Turkey.

Our supporters can freely hang out in Istanbul streets, recruit poor people from suburbs & police will only help

Yay!!!! That would be just endy except we’d be allies with ISIS in Turkey and Syria as we bomb in Iraq. That’s pretty darn funny.

This one is sort of funny, surprising and a little depressing. Lebanon will not join our semi-kinetic action against ISIS.

“US and its allies created and trained these takfiri movements. We have stated that Lebanon cannot be a part of an alliance led by the US,” (Lebanese State Minister V)Fneish…

You realize what that means?

Since Hezbollah is a big part of the Lebanese gov’t, we will not be conducting airstrikes in support of Hezbollah attacks. So the opposite of funny as that would be endily hilarious. Eh too bad, there’s always Iran I guess.

In Sietch Terror news,

International airlines have suspended flights to Yemen’s capital as fighting…

Yemeni television’s three channels stopped transmitting on Friday…

 

the Jihadi V Jihadi war in that particular bucket of scorpions  is cruising right along.

I feel sorry for the people there who are not in favor of their jihadis and just want to live and let live.

Those two idiots should just leave Yemen.

A drudgetaposition

Putin Privately Threatens to Invade Poland, Romania and the Baltic States.

Ukraine Launches Joint Military Brigade With Poland and Lithuania.

 

Now, the seque from overseas to the US,

The family of Glen Doherty, the former Navy SEAL killed in the 2012 Benghazi terror attack, has filed a $2 million claim against the CIA and the State Department.

 

I hope this goes through and actually gets some coverage from the assholes in Minitrue who are ignoring the feckless criminality of the Obama admin in the Benghazi deal.

 

Hmmm, I guess some people miss the rioting.

Mail Online reports that protesters made their plans known at the September 16th St. Louis City Council meeting. They “promised to disrupt grocery stores” and warned that if St. Louis Cardinals make it to the World Series, they will disrupt that too.

The protesters grew louder as the council meeting went on, demanding not only the arrest of Wilson but also “the resignations of both County Police Chief John Belmar and Ferguson Police Chief Thomas Jackson.” They also demanded that County Prosecutor Robert McCullock be removed from the case.

CBS St. Louis reports that the protesters are also trying to get St. Louis Rams ticket holders to donate tickets so protesters can “get in the dome” and shut the game down.

 

If this gets out of hand again, I could see it spreading to other cities, then the illegal immigrants get involved and then……. well, that’s when things get freaking ugly.

I fgure when the inner cities start rioting the police will grab their M-4s and grenade launchers,  jump in their MRAPs and go round tea partiers before they decide to riot too.

This is pretty funny, Karl Rove whining that the GOP isn’t getting as much in donations as they deserve.  I’d say Breitbart gets it right in the headline.

AFTER DECLARING WAR ON TEA PARTY, KARL ROVE FRETS GOP ESTAB CANDIDATES NOT GETTING ENOUGH DONATIONS

 

Funny how that works out, you shit on your base, call them names and they stop sending you money. Huh. Perplexing.

I understand Bob Beckel is not a journalist, but I bet he would claim he is so that’s what makes this funny.

“I’ll tell you: I would expect an October surprise,” Beckel said on Thursday. “I think I know what is — I’m not going to say it,

Journalists are not in the business of imparting information anymore. That’s pretty funny in an end of civilization way.

The most egregious example was how the media knew all about the OUTING OF SUPER-SECRET AGENT Jarret Plame, they knew she was in the CIA before she was “outed” and they knew who “leaked” the well-known fact and yet, they pretended they didn’t for more than a year in order to be able to viciously attack their chosen party’s political enemy.

Via Say Uncle, a scourge on our nation, the no-knock raid.

Some Police Operators who wanted to Operate Tactically had a tactical operations order (search warrant) so one climbed in the window and then the rest busted down the door. So the homeowner defended himself, killing the window-invader and shooting other cops and now he’s on death row.

So why the raid? For “bags of cocaine” from some source. What did they find?

Though they found a glass pipe, a grinder, and a pistol, they did not find any drugs.

 

So he was a small time drug user who was out of whatever he smoked.

No knock raids should be outlawed in every case except where the police explicitly state on the search warrant that the perpetrator is ‘better off dead”.

via KaChing!, this is funny cuz it’s true.

safety first

 

I’m sure this will reassure any prospective allies thinking of joining us in our semi-kinetic actions against ISIS.

Kerry being interrogated by Marco Rubio

Kerry: But I think that we are so far away from that “being the only way” and being a hypothetical.

Rubio: Well let me ask you this-

Kerry: No, let me just finish the question. I’m not going to get into hypotheticals but you’re presuming Iran and Syria don’t have any capacity to take on ISIL, I mean who knows. I don’t know what’s going to happen here. Let’s start down this road-

Rubio: Let me ask you about that then. What you’re saying now is there is the potential for the US will be coordinating with Iran?

Kerry: No I never said anything about coordinating. If we are failing and failing miserably who knows what choice they might make.

Jebus.

He just said we’re the B Team and we have the A Team, Syria and Iran, for when we fail miserably.

Since the war is being (not) run by Obama, Biden, Hagel and J Effin Kerry, it’s sure to fail miserably so I guess I should be happy they have a plan B. I just  really wish they had a competent Plan A.

 

6 minutes of an exchange with J Effin Kerry, I didn’t watch it, I don’t suggest you do either.

 

Via Weasel Zippers