Archive for the ‘Funniest End of Civilization Evah’ Category

Says Ted Cruz.

Har dee har har har.

 

Now, I know most of you won’t click that, even though you should. I almost did myself, so I’ll relate what others might have heard if they clicked vids not containing hot little Japanese girls in teddies.

So of course the Senate runs on trust, they trust each other to not get all litigious over each other’s felonious behavior.

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“That we don’t lie to each other.”, 

they lie to him because he feels he represents the people who elected him and not himself, the We’re Better And Smarter Than You Party has to lie to me, and therefore him because he would tell me the truth. Duh.

“…Was there a deal?”

The answer to that is never “Yes”, it’s always “Of course there’s a deal!”

Idealism is great, but that shows a profound disregard  for recent (as in, the last 10 years) history.

 

…makes an explicit promise… I cast my vote….assume that when the majority leader spoke to 54 GOP senators that he wasn’t lying to us. …It became agundantly clear that there was a deal…

I will note to the public the Majority Leader and the Speaker of the House have repeatedly said…”we made no deal.”…. a number of weeks ago…the Iran review act…..I filed an amendment that would…by requiring….before sanctions were lifted….Senator Marco Rubio called for an amendment…..on the Dem side of the Aisle did not want to vote….the Majority Leader called off all amendments….”

 

Geez, it’s as if he thinks the people who elected him have a say in how he votes?!?!?!?!?!?!

He calls Harry Reid a whiny bitch and immediately says McConnell is acting like the Dem Majority Leader.

Then he notes that McConnell called up an amendment after blocking everybody else’s amendment.

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“…we (Teh Peepul) keep winning elections and then we keep getting leaders who don’t do anything they promise…”

 

From Nancy Pelosi draining the corrupt swamp to Mitch McConnell lying so much that Cruz is taking almost 20 minutes to detail many of his lies but Cruz could go on for hours. We’ve been profoundly lied to by the leadership of both Houses of Congress for a long damn time.

 

“the Majority Leader looked me in the eye…a flat out lie…. was a simple lie.”

 

Nobody except people the, I’d guess, fewer than 100,000 who read righty blogs and our fine Minitrue Betters will know about this, the rest of America is still worried about what Caitlyn Jenner is doing about its wang.

And that’s why we’re boned.

Below the Fold, An Important Critical And Well Deserved Update!!!!!!

 

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Latest in the long running series, this has to be seen to not be believed.

First up, some of you might have seen this joke video from ’05

 

Yesterday CNN was doing this and I thought about this but Weasel Zippers actually linked the two vids.  I didn’t think of doing it and I’m kind of lazy anyway.

 

It’s pretty much a paraphrase of the first vid.

One of my favorite funnies is how two different people can look at the same thing, say the same thing and yet, mean exactly the opposite.

 

Unrelated to satire, but related because it’s the latest in another long-running series, Veeshir links DreM for saying something intelligent (by say something I agree with obviously), in this exciting episode, he has an excellent round-up of the GOP field.

I will say I don’t see Trump actually getting any traction in a third party run, that doesn’t mean I don’t think he’ll do it, he might want to do some more huckstering.

Still not sure if I’ll actually vote for him, mostly because I think he’s in it for himself, but so far his huckstering is doing a good thing.

I’m almost starting to hope he gets serious. All he’d do is gum up the works, he couldn’t legislate from the White House (the media would suddenly re-rediscover their job of being skeptical), and he could seriously mess with Congress. He couldn’t be any worse than Jeb Bush and would probably be much better (hell, Ron Paul would be better).

The biggest fly in that ointment is that, running/owning businesses that rely on retaliatorically-inclined unions, I’m not sure if he would rescind all the bribes/Obamacare waivers.

 

 

Okay, Maetenloch has this Reagan quote in his Overnight post at Ace’s

Die-hard conservatives thought that if I couldn’t get everything I asked for, I should jump off the cliff with the flag flying-go down in flames. No, if I can get 70 or 80 percent of what it is I’m trying to get … I’ll take that and then continue to try to get the rest in the future.

 

If we were getting 70% I’d be happier with the GOP. I’d even be rooting for them.

Hell, if I were getting 50%, either repeal Obamadebaclecare or working on stopping Obamamnesty, I’d be fucking ecstatic.

Instead, I’m getting jack shit (and Jack ran out of gum) and being told it’s my fault that Obama is POTUS so I need to suck it up or Hillary! will be POTUS.

The GOP majority is doing exactly nothing to stop Obama, they’re happy about $trillion+ deficits each and every year.

I’m getting exactly 0% of what I want. Hell, McCain would happily take my guns away from me if he thought he could get away with. The Dems would as well. .

If our fine moral, political, intellectual and social betters are going to destroy the American experiment in self-rule, I’m not helping.

If telling me to suck it up after a bunch of statement elections where the GOP lost Congress, and two elections where they got it back, isn’t enough for them to do what we want them to do, well, I’ll let Cartman say it.

Uh-oh, they’re not getting a Harumph out of her!!!!!!

Sharyl Attkisson is one of the few actual journalists out there.

In this post, she points out that the Washington Post selectively edited what Trump said to make it look much worse than it was.

2. When a panelist characterized McCain as a “war hero,” the Post is accurate in reporting that Trump initially said McCain is “not a war hero.” But then, Trump immediately modified his statement saying– four times– that McCain is a war hero:

“He is a war hero.”

“He’s a war hero because he was captured.”

“He’s a war hero, because he was captured.”

“I believe, perhaps, he’s a war hero. But right now, he’s said some very bad things about a lot of people.”

3. Did Trump say McCain is not a war hero because he was captured? No, not in the exchanges represented in the Post.

 

Eh, I couldn’t care less, I do not take Trump seriously (even as I think I might vote for him, as I do not think that any of the other politicians can do anything helpful).

The establishment GOP is ecstatic and piling on as well, most especially including Foxnews, as they hate him probably more than even the Dems. He’s saying stuff that GOP voters like but that our fine political, social, moral and intellectual betters have declared verboten, and for that, he cannot be forgiven.

She is wrong about one thing though,

But the news media has a responsibility to do its best to report accurately and fairly–even when reporters find a candidate and/or his positions to be personally distasteful.

 

That’s exactly what they do their best not to do, their job is to frame the news so stupid Americans achieve the proper conclusions.

Did her firing teach her nothing?

Related:

This is an interesting take on Trump, via iOwn the World, and one of the things that made me think about maybe hoping I’m wrong about him just being a huckster.

…the media, business and political elite understand that Trump is no joke. He could actually win and upset their nice cozy apple cart….

It’s because most of the other politicians are part of the “old boys club.” They talk big, but in the end they won’t change a thing. Why? They are all beholden to big-money donors. They are all owned by lobbyists, unions, lawyers, gigantic environmental organizations and multinational corporations like Big Pharma or Big Oil. Or they are owned lock, stock and barrel by foreigners like George Soros owns Obama or foreign governments own Hillary with their Clinton Foundation donations….

Yup.

And this is why I’m thinking that Trump, Donald fucking Trump (how funny and endy is that?) could be our Knight in Shining Armor

These run-of-the-mill establishment politicians are all puppets owned by big money. But there’s one man — and only one man — who isn’t beholden to anyone. There’s one man who doesn’t need foreigners, or foreign governments, or George Soros, or the United Auto Workers, or the teachers union, or the Service Employees International Union, or the bar association to fund his campaign.

Billionaire tycoon and maverick Donald Trump doesn’t need anyone’s help.

Exactly why all of our fine intellectual, social, moral and political betters in the We’re Better And Smarter Than You Party must destroy him.

Read the whole thing, it does what so few people do, look at reality and make conclusions based on that.

I know. Unhelpful, but stil interesting.

 

 

 

This is a conundrum.

On the one hand, I don’t think Aquaman would spear a shark, on the other hand…

with felony molesting a sea turtle, possessing an undersized nurse shark, spearing a nurse shark and for failure to keep fish in whole condition.

I’m going with Aquaman.

I mean really, molesting a sea turtle? That’s just low.

Makes me wonder what he speared the shark with.

Funnier Than ’08?

Posted: July 17, 2015 by veeshir in Funniest End of Civilization Evah

As I’ve said, I think this election is going to be funnier than ’08, unfortunately, it’s going to be endier as well.

In past elections, the GOP candidates tried to sell themselves to the GOP electorate and then “tacked to the center” for the general election, this year the candidates vying for the GOP nomination, except for the unserious, huckster one, are busy trashing the GOP electorate before…. I’m not sure where they can go from there. Maybe finally merge the parties into the We’re Better And Smarter Than You Party? The Unity Party, ala Jerry Pournelle’s dystopian future? Converting to Islam and making gay marriage (as well as being gay) illegal? Geez, I can’t even think of anything ridiculous enough to match what’s surely going to be reality.

Hmmm, maybe Trump wins the GOP nomination so Bush runs as an Independent and we’re told to vote for Jeb in order to be true Republicans? I’m rooting for that one to tell you the truth.

 

Now we have people saying we need armed guards to protect Marines.

That’s right, we need Paul Blart to protect to protect Camp Pendleton from armed jihadis. C’mon, you have to admit that’s funny….. in a horrible way perhaps, but still pretty funny.

 

Next up, we have the Socialist Bernie Sanders, doing very well in the race for the nomination for the totally-not-socialist Dem party, doing this

Mark Steyn writes

As readers may know, the Steyn worldwide corporate headquarters is located in Woodsville, which is part of the township of Haverhill, New Hampshire…..

Bernie Sanders says (warning, minitrue link)

…Mark Steyn’s “After America: Get Ready for Armageddon”:…

the authors don’t understand place and have probably never been to an American place they were inclined to stay in. They would get a rash in real places like Tobaccoville, N.C., Haverhill, N.H. or Luckenbach, Texas,

 

That’s all about teh funny.  I mean, the odds against actually picking the town where one of the people he’s attacking lives have to be in the thousands (hundreds of thousands? Milions?) to one against.

Do I have a point? Not really, I’m just pointing and laughing.

And cringing, but at least there’s laughter.

30 seconds later update!!!!!

Read the comments, hilarious. Like this one

Steyn lives in Haverhill, as has been pointed out multiple times. Luckenbach, Texas is a staged ghost town that hosts country music concerts. Nobody actually lives there. Oh, and Waylon Jennings isn’t hanging out anywhere; he died in 2002. But other than that, your article is fantastic.

 

If you want a more sober assessment, one that harshes your mellow, click Cold Fury here, where I saw this, or Steyn above.

I’m just going to put a slug of coffee in my whiskey and enjoy the day.

Weekly Standard, they of Kristollnacht  and Fred Barnes (who both called me a racist in 2008 and since becasue I want the federal gov’t to enforce federal laws, contra the GOP establishment who don’t)has this bit of stupidity.

So before we go any further, consider: Donald Trump–the Donald Trump–holds in his hands something like veto power over the Republican quest to win the White House.

No, the GOP has that veto power, by nominating the man they’re hell-bent on nominating.

If they nominate Jeb Bush, he could run against Gus Hall and lose.

Yes, I would vote for a good commie (a dead on) over a live “compassionate conservative” (read: big-gov’t “conservative”).

And I believe much of the GOP electorate agrees with me.

Unfortunately, the NRO-Weekly Standard, We’re Better and Smarter Than You wing of the GOP think I’m an idiot and this time, THIS TIME!!!!!!! an electable candidate will actually be elected. And if he loses even after being warned he will lose? It’ll be my fault. Because he’s not as bad as the Dem nominee.

Oh well.

Since it’s endy, you know there’s layers to this.

You realize we’re counting on the Dems to save us from Hillary Clinton?

And even worse, the replacement will be worse than Hillary.

I’m still thinking they’re going to run M’Shell Obama once Hillary! loses her ! again so we can have a third Obama term.

I can see her campaign slogan:

Don’t Be A Misogynist Racist!!!!!! Vote M’Shell!!!!!!!