Archive for the ‘Funniest End of Civilization Evah’ Category

It’s either make a post or let the spammers take over. I can’t delete comments from any posts but my own, DPUD might have let me post here but he’s not fucking stupid.

So some stuff that’s happening.

First, if the 2016 GOP race boils down to Jeb Bush V Mitt Romney, we be boned harder and put away wetter.

 

Oliver Willis saying something stupid.  If I cared enough about him I’d have a macro for that.

He said something about how Muslims are the peaceful ones because Crusades.

I have never understood how people can whine for and allow Muslims to whine about the Crusades and not point and laugh.

The Muslims invaded the Holy Lands so the Christians replied, the Muslims won (the Temple Mount is now a mosque for instance).

So in other words, Muslims started a conflict, won it and now they’re whining about it.

Fuck em.

This is high-larious with a capital ENDY.

So as Obama has been ignoring Christians being hung, beheaded, crucified, tortured, enslaved and chased from their homes by ISIS, who is helping them?

Hezbollah is believed to be arming Christian groups affiliated with the Free Patriotic Movement (FPM) in villages east of Saida under the pretext of thwarting an Islamic State (ISIS) threat i

Fucking Hezbollah is treating Christians better than the US.

Anybody who disputes that things are funny and endy out there should re-read that sentence.

 

Speaking of Hezbollah, they’re showing Jihad Envy.

Comparing Hezbollah to Isis.

As the data show, ISIS is believed to have more fighters than Hezbollah, and to enjoy more abundant finances. This is in part a result of the vast territory it controls – perhaps 10 times as much as Hezbollah does – in which over half a dozen lucrative oil fields are at its disposal.

There’s a chart, it’s interesting.

 

Catalonia independence is chugging along.

The president of Spain’s powerful northeastern region of Catalonia on Saturday formally called an independence referendum,

If that goes through, look for the Basque to do the same.  Spain isn’t quite the stable country it looks at first, Portugal already broke off, now they could lose more. That would be interesting as ‘Spain has a 3-sided civil war.

 

Last but not least, Tsar Putin I is warning EUnuchs on Ukraine.

Alexei Miller, head of Russia’s top natural gas producer Gazprom, has warned of possible disruptions of Russian gas flows to Europe via Ukraine next winter,…

His comments, aired on Saturday by Russian state-owned TV channel Rossiya-24, a day after European Commission-brokered gas talks in Berlin, may indicate Moscow and Kiev are far from completely resolving their differences over conditions for gas supplies to Ukraine.

Tsar Putin I is letting the EUnuchs know that the dust-up with Ukraine is going to affect EUnuchstan so they would be smart to help Imperial Russia in their doings with one of their rebellious provinces.

 

I keep forgetting about China’s war in the South China Sea, here we see Indonesia is getting upset with China.

That makes it Indonesia, Philippines, Japan and Vietnam against China there. Should be interesting.

 

In global worming news, here we have Kate Upton in Antarctica and not an erect nipple to be seen.

Maybe Al Gore was right.

I haven’t been tubing for a while so when I did my rounds I found lots of stuff I didn’t know about.

Most of it not very funny but some of it terrifyingly  hilarious.

Let’s start with ISIS, it’s never funny and people get beheaded. First, an aside. Isis has been torturing, raping, beheading, hanging, crucifying and enslaving for a couple years now and they cut the heads off 3 journalists and now it’s WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Our media has its priorities, 1,000 people get killed and it’s just wogs fighting wogs, not our business. Let a journalist, an important person, get killed and that makes it personal.

So Isis is recruiting openly in our NATO ally Turkey.

Our supporters can freely hang out in Istanbul streets, recruit poor people from suburbs & police will only help

Yay!!!! That would be just endy except we’d be allies with ISIS in Turkey and Syria as we bomb in Iraq. That’s pretty darn funny.

This one is sort of funny, surprising and a little depressing. Lebanon will not join our semi-kinetic action against ISIS.

“US and its allies created and trained these takfiri movements. We have stated that Lebanon cannot be a part of an alliance led by the US,” (Lebanese State Minister V)Fneish…

You realize what that means?

Since Hezbollah is a big part of the Lebanese gov’t, we will not be conducting airstrikes in support of Hezbollah attacks. So the opposite of funny as that would be endily hilarious. Eh too bad, there’s always Iran I guess.

In Sietch Terror news,

International airlines have suspended flights to Yemen’s capital as fighting…

Yemeni television’s three channels stopped transmitting on Friday…

 

the Jihadi V Jihadi war in that particular bucket of scorpions  is cruising right along.

I feel sorry for the people there who are not in favor of their jihadis and just want to live and let live.

Those two idiots should just leave Yemen.

A drudgetaposition

Putin Privately Threatens to Invade Poland, Romania and the Baltic States.

Ukraine Launches Joint Military Brigade With Poland and Lithuania.

 

Now, the seque from overseas to the US,

The family of Glen Doherty, the former Navy SEAL killed in the 2012 Benghazi terror attack, has filed a $2 million claim against the CIA and the State Department.

 

I hope this goes through and actually gets some coverage from the assholes in Minitrue who are ignoring the feckless criminality of the Obama admin in the Benghazi deal.

 

Hmmm, I guess some people miss the rioting.

Mail Online reports that protesters made their plans known at the September 16th St. Louis City Council meeting. They “promised to disrupt grocery stores” and warned that if St. Louis Cardinals make it to the World Series, they will disrupt that too.

The protesters grew louder as the council meeting went on, demanding not only the arrest of Wilson but also “the resignations of both County Police Chief John Belmar and Ferguson Police Chief Thomas Jackson.” They also demanded that County Prosecutor Robert McCullock be removed from the case.

CBS St. Louis reports that the protesters are also trying to get St. Louis Rams ticket holders to donate tickets so protesters can “get in the dome” and shut the game down.

 

If this gets out of hand again, I could see it spreading to other cities, then the illegal immigrants get involved and then……. well, that’s when things get freaking ugly.

I fgure when the inner cities start rioting the police will grab their M-4s and grenade launchers,  jump in their MRAPs and go round tea partiers before they decide to riot too.

This is pretty funny, Karl Rove whining that the GOP isn’t getting as much in donations as they deserve.  I’d say Breitbart gets it right in the headline.

AFTER DECLARING WAR ON TEA PARTY, KARL ROVE FRETS GOP ESTAB CANDIDATES NOT GETTING ENOUGH DONATIONS

 

Funny how that works out, you shit on your base, call them names and they stop sending you money. Huh. Perplexing.

I understand Bob Beckel is not a journalist, but I bet he would claim he is so that’s what makes this funny.

“I’ll tell you: I would expect an October surprise,” Beckel said on Thursday. “I think I know what is — I’m not going to say it,

Journalists are not in the business of imparting information anymore. That’s pretty funny in an end of civilization way.

The most egregious example was how the media knew all about the OUTING OF SUPER-SECRET AGENT Jarret Plame, they knew she was in the CIA before she was “outed” and they knew who “leaked” the well-known fact and yet, they pretended they didn’t for more than a year in order to be able to viciously attack their chosen party’s political enemy.

Via Say Uncle, a scourge on our nation, the no-knock raid.

Some Police Operators who wanted to Operate Tactically had a tactical operations order (search warrant) so one climbed in the window and then the rest busted down the door. So the homeowner defended himself, killing the window-invader and shooting other cops and now he’s on death row.

So why the raid? For “bags of cocaine” from some source. What did they find?

Though they found a glass pipe, a grinder, and a pistol, they did not find any drugs.

 

So he was a small time drug user who was out of whatever he smoked.

No knock raids should be outlawed in every case except where the police explicitly state on the search warrant that the perpetrator is ‘better off dead”.

via KaChing!, this is funny cuz it’s true.

safety first

 

I’m sure this will reassure any prospective allies thinking of joining us in our semi-kinetic actions against ISIS.

Kerry being interrogated by Marco Rubio

Kerry: But I think that we are so far away from that “being the only way” and being a hypothetical.

Rubio: Well let me ask you this-

Kerry: No, let me just finish the question. I’m not going to get into hypotheticals but you’re presuming Iran and Syria don’t have any capacity to take on ISIL, I mean who knows. I don’t know what’s going to happen here. Let’s start down this road-

Rubio: Let me ask you about that then. What you’re saying now is there is the potential for the US will be coordinating with Iran?

Kerry: No I never said anything about coordinating. If we are failing and failing miserably who knows what choice they might make.

Jebus.

He just said we’re the B Team and we have the A Team, Syria and Iran, for when we fail miserably.

Since the war is being (not) run by Obama, Biden, Hagel and J Effin Kerry, it’s sure to fail miserably so I guess I should be happy they have a plan B. I just  really wish they had a competent Plan A.

 

6 minutes of an exchange with J Effin Kerry, I didn’t watch it, I don’t suggest you do either.

 

Via Weasel Zippers

 

Buzzword Bingo

Posted: September 15, 2014 by veeshir in Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Obama's Fault

Obama is Building A Coalition To Degrade And/Or Contain ISIL

Funny and endy on so many levels.

First, the funniest and endiest.

Not a one of our allies trusts Obama not to screw them and they’re all looking at craziness and invasionistas close to home.

The idea of them sending troops for some vague statements by Obama is laughable Ha Ha!

He cited Yemen and fucking Somalia as success stories!

“This strategy of taking out terrorists who threaten us, while supporting partners on the front lines, is one that we have successfully pursued in Yemen and Somalia for years,” President Obama said.

Somalia, the place that many years is even worse than Congo, Afghans say, “Dude, get a country.”

For those who’ve read Dune,Yemen has the sietches where the warriors of Allah go in between attacks to have some tea, khif and little bum boys. Sort of a Sietch Terror.

 

It gets funnier when you  realize the point men are Joe Freaking Biden, Chuck Hagel and J Effin Kerry.  (Warning! Unsafe, Head Minitrue Outlet Link!)

Secretary of State John Kerry said on Monday that the Obama administration would keep the door open to confidential communications with Iran on the security crisis in Iraq,

 

Get that? They want to be Iran’s ally, I assume because they think if we are allies with everybody then there won’t be war!!!!!!!!! They’ll have treaties!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Piss For Our Times!!!!!!!!!! You know, instead of being Iran’s ally when they go to war with Israel.

And get the other part of that endy hilarity, Kerry told the NY Times that he wanted confidential negotiations with Iran. sigh.

So what’s a mad mullah to do when the US comes hat in hand, on bended knee and tells everybody he’s doing so?

Iranian Supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei announced Monday that Iran has privately (emphasis me, V)  refused U.S. requests for cooperation against the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria.

You have to love that shot at Kerry. That’s a nice touch.

Well you would have to love it if he weren’t the fucking Secretary Of Fucking State for the United Fucking States of Fucking America getting pwned by some 8th century mad mullah.

See? Funny and Endy.

But wait! There’s Still More!!!!!!! For a limited time on…ahh, who am I kidding. it  won’t be getting any better anytime soon.

…just hours after…, State Department spokeswoman Harf stated …

“To be very clear, we are not coordinating with, we do not want to coordinate with, we are not planning to coordinate with Iran in any way on Iraq, period,…

 

It’s sort of funny how often the super geniuses in the highest echelons of our gov’t have to clarify at least part of so many  prepared statements.

Or this one, Kerry today said something today  about how unfortunate it is that Iraq has been fighting ISIS by themselves.

From January this year, on a blog nobody here reads, was this tidbit,

J Effin Kerry at a press conferece. I saw part of this and expected to see this bit all over the place.

Iraq is fighting al Quaeda (now called ISIS)  in Fallujah and Ramadi (just like we did), and Kerry said this,

This is their fight,
Seriously? Not our fight? Obama’s given up on the Wo(S)T?

Of course now he has to walk back another set of comments. My favorite walkback was when he called Burma, “Myanmar”.

Now the other funny/endy part.

Why do we need a coalition? We’ll have to bribe half the assholes and then we’ll have a bunch of people who hate us back-seat driving us. Jebus, he wants Qatar and Iran. WTF?

So we’ll have allies who are not on our side and he’s pissed off our real allies so our coalition will be threadbare and worse than useless.

All we need is Iraq in our coalition.

 

He’s also already said it’s just air warfare and lawfare so ISIS just has to hunker down in big cities where Obama will not bomb them and wait out Obama’s short attention span.

So the coalition will be expensive and worse than useless, just like Obama.

We Be Boned.

Boned?

Posted: September 10, 2014 by veeshir in Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Obama's Fault

Important Update Below!!!!!!!!

So, how boned are we?

I saw Bob Beckel on the Five earlier flat out declare that ISIS cannot threaten America. He laughed, ha-HA!, at the very idea.

Now, from reading Stephen Green’s drunktweeting of Obama’s speech, I see this.

“ISIL poses a threat to Iraq and Syria…” and MAYBE to the US, eventually, someday. So we have that going for us, which is nice.

Apcray, You realize what that means? We’re sure to get hit tomorrow.

And worse, they’ve been coming in through the southern border, I live on the southern border and I have to drive across Phoenix tomorrow, from the East Valley to north west Phoenix. You all saw my commute on Monday night’s news by the way. Luckily, that wasn’t the roof of my car you saw.

So my sense of irony and appreciation of the facets of the FEOCE say I have a good chance of having to fight off a terrorist attack tomorrow. I hope it’s on the way home, I need the money.

 

I will say I hope he arms jihadis in Syria. What that country/area needs are more small arms. Let’s shake up that bottle of scorpions and get them fighting each other again.

 

The whole speech looked pretty embarrassing.

ISIL is a terrorist organization… with no vision.” Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck he still doesn’t get it

Mam am I glad I swore off POTUSpeeches long ago.

So we’re back to Clinton’s strategery with added death-dealing RC skybombery.

I thought I was making a funny when I said it was turning into all the worst parts of the 90s along with looking as if we’d lost the Cold War.

Makes me wonder if I’m going to be yelling “Wolverines!” at some point in the future.

 

 

I Lied It’s Not All That Important Just Pretty Darn Funny Update!!!!!!! 

One year ago today Obama said we should bomb Syria now he’s saying we bomb Syria’s enemies today.

 

He does like to fight both sides of any war after all. Allah noticed it.

I was just going to do a blank post but since nobody’s going to read it, I might as well put in content.

Some people who got into a land war in Asia!!!

The Ukrainians kicked out their tsarling and now they’re being invaded by Tsar Putin I but they haven’t lost their sense of humor. 

‘Russian-style’ ceasefire includes lots of shelling

These people dealt with Stalin-Hitler-Stalin, Tsar Putin I is like a walk in the park after that.

So Obama’s at the NATO meeting as they talk about the world exploding and we see this from our favorite Weasel, S.

NATO is meeting in Wales at the moment, so this doof is over our side. It was reported on the radio this afternoon that so many things are happening in NATO’s territory, there’s a chance the meeting will hold Obama’s interest this time. That, ordinarily, he finds these meetings so boring, he sends his aids out to buy crossword puzzle magazines to get him through.

I shit you not. It was a straight news broadcast, so maybe I…surely I misheard…?

You know, if everything bores you, it isn’t an indication that you’re extra super smart. If the most important job in the Western world seems beneath you, you aren’t a sooper genius. You’re a malignant narcissist and borderline retard.

 

Okay, that’s totally not funny at all because it’s true.

Hahahahahahahahahahhahaa

So as the world figures out their on their own, we might get interesting deals that drag us into a war. Yay,,,?

The NATO folks are giving some aid, but nothing military, but

Stopping short of promising to send weapons that Ukraine wants, NATO chief Anders Fogh Rasmussen noted that individual nations can make their own decisions about arming Kyiv.

France just declined to deliver the ships they were building for the Russian Imperial Navy,  so maybe they could make up the slack by selling Ukraine some stuff.

I wonder what NATO’s gonna do.  Sanctions aren’t going to do crap because if they sanction Russia, Russia raises the rates on their energy. It’s hard to economically war on someone when you’re economically dependent on that person.

 

It’s not a ‘deal’ with a Tsar/Bond Villain without a howler.

But Lavrov implied the US is hindering hopes of a swift progression towards a truce:

Okay, that’s funny.

I agree, albeit not for the same reason. I’d say it’s because Tsar Putin I knows there will be no response so he was a free hand.

You have to love this bit too.

Later on Thursday (September 4), Lavrov reportedly discussed and agreed on the need for a ceasefire with his French and German counterparts, while “avoiding any action that could undermine the positive trend.”

 

The positive trend being in the war Russia started and is waging. He’s actually playing the “Peace-Process” shell game.

That’s pretty funny.

Puppy Blender post. 

IMMIGRATION: “Not many years ago, the idea of Minnesota as a hotbed of Islamic terrorism would have been laughable. No longer: a mass immigration of Somalis has put Minnesota on the front lines.”

Gee, how could that have happened?

Muslim cab drivers refuse to transport alcohol and dogs.

What could people have done to encourage that kind of thing?

Some Muslim Cashiers at Minnesota Target Refuse to Scan Pork Products

Eh, we’ll probably never know.

A little bit of hope.

Earth will experience a close call on Sunday, as an asteroid discovered only a few days ago is expected to safely pass very close by. The space rock will zip by our planet approximately 25,000 miles above our heads – one tenth the distance between here and the moon.

Now I plugged the numbers into y Fisher-Price orbital dynamics calculator and got a different number, but we all remember the last time that happened. At least I do, but keep your fingers crossed, we might get lucky.

Last, a chuckler stolen from the Outrider, don’t tell him. He can probably kick my ass.

thanks

 

So some Islamic terrorists took over our abandoned embassy in Tripoli but the State Dept says don’t worry.

U.S. Ambassador to Libya Deborah Jones said …

… it appeared the compound was being “safeguarded” and was not “ransacked.”

Be happy.

C’mon, that’s darn funny.Just like Theodoric safeguarded Rome for the emperors in Byzantium.

Western Liberals Agree With Islamic Terrorists!!!!!!! Stop the..wait, that’s not unexpected, this one is sorta funny.

After that, many, myself included, wondered: Should we – Muslim or not – learn the basics of Islam and have a read through the Koran? If one of us ever finds herself in a situation similar to that of Westgate Mall victims, could even a rudimentary knowledge of Islam save us?

As the first commenter said, guns do that too.

ISIS is pivoting back to Syria. Al Nusra is allied with ISIS for now.

he Nusra Front is losing several of its groups to ISIS, which is planning a comeback in the areas it lost in Syria now that its combat axes in Iraq have been stabilized.(emphasis me V) … ISIS will leave other rural areas to their own fate in awaiting Syrian regime forces advances and complete the siege of Aleppo before entering it as yet another conqueror.

 

As for the Turkmens, … operating as Turkish forces on Syrian soil, aided by many Turkmens from Turkey who have joined their ranks. To ISIS, these are renegade enemies much like the Kurds, such as the Northern Storm Brigade, who were pushed by ISIS and FSA factions into the arms of the pro-regime PKK (Kurdistan Workers’ Party). … ISIS will stop at the boundaries of the areas where the Kurds and Turkmens are deployed, thus paving the way for long wars of attrition.

 

It’s too bad Iraq had to become involved, because Hezbollah and all the other terrorists in the area fighting those even more savage savages is all about teh funny.

It’s also to bad Lebanon got dragged in, but that’s what happens when Hezbollah loses and another set of vicious savages defeats them.

But even that dark cloud has a pretty funny lining. Al Nusra is fighting on ISIS’ side in Syria and they recently went into Lebanon and killed and took captive some Lebanese soldiers, I think there were some Hezbollah in thei grouop.

The Al-Nusra Front has demanded that Lebanese Shiite party Hezbollah withdraw its forces from Syria and cease its support for the Syrian army as a condition for their release.

 

So they’re taking Hezbollah hostage and demanding concessions for their release. You know Hezbollah is saying, “Hey, that’s our schtick!!!!!”

At first I didn’t think this lived up to the headline, but I’ve had to change my mind.

These 23 Luis Gutierrez GIFs Will Restore Your Faith in Humanity

 

But since I have such a low opinion of humanity,  just when I started to have hope the fact that the tool can become powerful does restore my faith in humanity. And the gifs are pretty funny too.

We’ve all seen the vid of Joe Scarboroough saying that Obama saying he had no strategy against ISIS was straight out of Sun Tzu.

 

I’ll stick up for Joe.

if you do not know your enemies nor yourself, you will be imperiled in every single battle.”

 

Straight out of Sun Tzu.

Obama has no idea what America is all about on the world stage or which other countries work for good and which actively work for evil so of course he will fail in foreign policy.

And if you think he should be impeached, President Joe Biden. The man who has been wrong on every foreign policy decision in the last 40 years who’s well into active/stupid so we’d go to war with Madagascar and lose.

 

Okay, this isn’t funny, (Warning!!!! Minitrue link) but it is. Because it’s Chicago machine politics writ large and Minitrue will back Obama up.

Cruz accused the White House of floating the idea. “There is one person and one person only talking about shutting down the government, and that is the White House,”

 

He’s going to shut down the gov’t, closing the most painful things for average Americans, and get his Minitrue allies to blame it on the GOP so our fine, free media’s chosen political party will do well in an election.

 

That’s not funny.

But it is.