Archive for the ‘Green Goofs’ Category

Space Intentionally Left Blank

Posted: March 26, 2013 by veeshir in Filthy Hippies, Fun with Elections, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Green Goofs, It's Science!, Mideast Madness, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, Queerblogging
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I’ve actually been too busy to birl the tubes, I was veeshired. I also changed the title, I always get that wrong.

Let’s start with some “Smirt Daplomacy” stuff.

Lebanese acting kinda scares as they laugh at Obama arming jihadis in Syria.

Great quote, you know they’re just shaking their heads and laughing/cringing.

The United States backed “the coalition’s vision for a tolerant, inclusive Syria that respects the rights of all Syrians.

After noting that the guy people trusted said, “I’m outta here”.

In Egypt, some more of that brillyents,

Islamic hard-liners stormed a mosque in suburban Cairo, turning it into torture chamber for Christians who had been demonstrating against the ruling Muslim Brotherhood

Now we see why Christians are now the most oppressed religion, Muslims have killed or ejected all the Jews, now they’re working on Christians.

So as Syria is a nightmare, Egypt is becoming a nightmare and the Palestinians continue their rocket and mortar attacks on Israel, the AP knows who’s to blame. Do you really need me to tell you?

This surprises me.

Recent photographs show workers in Saudi Arabia demolishing some of the oldest sections of the Grand Mosque in Mecca, London’s Independent reports.

Not even Press TV (official Iranian mouthpiece, like MSNBC but they show the other side sometimes) is covering it.

I’m not surprised the grievance mongers who bash the Israelis for planting olives on the 13th holiest site in Islam are quiet, but since it appears Syria is a heat-up of the war between Iran (Hezbollah, Assad) and Saudi Arabia (al Quaeda, various, other terrorists), I’d expect Iran to make some noises. Huh.

I did notice this when I clicked.

An Egyptian minister says direct flights in the form of charter flights will resume between Iran and Egypt within the coming weeks.

More jihadis for Egypt! Yay. Dudes probably kept blowing up when they had to make a connection. I know it usually pisses me off.

I didn’t have enough time for more overseas, I do have a bunch of hilarity in this one so just a couple, domestic, WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! or at least GO TO THE GULAG!!!!

This one’s confusing. Huckabee warning the GOP about gay marriage.This one’s about Dem senators going gaga for gay marriage.

It seems awfully early in the election cycle to get people riled up on gay marriage, for both sides. I know the Supreme Court is taking it up, it’s going to be interesting.

From the I Used To Live There files, VA has a voter ID law.  Racist! I mean, just cuz you need an ID for everything else it’s racist to require it for voting!

Via the Puppy Blender, Moe Lane notices Obama’s tool responding to a tweet from a fictitious congress-critter.

Kinda puts that threatening tweet at the Norks in perspective.

Cruz birthers are going to be a hoot. I mean, the mental contortions of making fun of Obama birthers while being a Cruz birther will be infuriatingly funny, which is not as good as funny but better than infuriating.

Via Jay we see unions acting like their fine, Wisconsin brothers. So some cops are letting good behavior prisoners out to do work, ala the guy from Shawshank, but he just has them do stuff around the town like painting the police station and shoveling walks. So the unions are all, “Hey! That’s union work!”, I guess their wives don’t make apple pies stuffed with hundred dollar bills.

But, as jay notes, there’s one problem.

The head of Arlington’s Housing Authority says, because of budget cuts, his agency would not have been able to hire the job out anyway.

Mudderpocking sonsomabatching iceholes.

Via the Jawas, Help a Brother Out.  Dude’s selling his autographed picture of Jim Carrey to buy a gun. He’s up to $444 now, that’s pretty darn close to a Glock to scare good ole’ Jim. I’d love to see him get enough to buy the gun Mr Gabby Giffords was gonna buy. That would be funny.

Via Harvey we see this Ramirez comic.

RAMFNLclr-032513-buck-IBD-C.jpg.cms

Rush Limbaugh needs to get a fund going for buses to Mexico so the DHS can dump them and not pay for transportation back to Mexico. Airfare to the Europeans might be too expensive, but if we started a fund….

A little global warmmongering humor. Global worming is hitting Europe so hard,

Ornithologists have reported that migratory birds coming from the south have turned back.

I picture Daffy Duck saying, “Fuck that.”

The swallows will be back in Capistrano next year. And you know it’s going to be caused by Global Worming!

Russian scientists are predicting an ice age based on the Sun not doing what it’s supposed to be doing. I don’t know if I believe it, we just don’t have a long enough baseline for how the Sun is supposed to act, but…

That might be better than an asteroid. It would be a targeted disaster. Leftist nitwits hardest hit, people with brains enough to go south out of the cold would have a good chance (Hello from sunny Arizona!).

Then the Mexicans will suddenly think a wall is a great thing as Abrams and Bradleys go strolling across the Sonoran desert and the Rio Grande.

Last, and most freaky, via that guy who better hope he’s a lumberjack if he lives near the glaciers we get this bit of optic delusion.

Round The Tubes: Newspeak Edition

Posted: March 13, 2013 by veeshir in Anklebiting rugrats, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP FAIL, Green Goofs, Jitardis, Liberal Fascism, Nanny State, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, You'll pry 'em from my cold dead hands
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Who can ask for more?

Well, this is Ungood. Plus ungood!

The story posted on NBCNews.com alleges that NRA will not oppose expanding the background check system to include all private firearm sales, “provided the legislation does not require private gun sellers to maintain records of the checks”.  This statement is completely untrue.

 

The hell you say! How dare you contradict Minitrue!

 

Good or Ungood?

MSNBC Contributor Compares The Vatican To The Soviet Union…

Wow, so that means we’re supposed to be in favor of the Vat……oh wait, we’ve always been at war with the Soviet Union.

Ungood!

Four men — including the would-be groom — have been arrested for a marriage proposal stunt in which hundreds of motorcycles blocked a Southern California freeway, authorities said.

Only Big Brother.. Obama can tangle traffic for frivilous reasons.

Good Prole!

Wearing bulletproof vests and carrying 40-caliber Glock pistols, nine California Justice Department agents assembled outside a ranch-style house in a suburb east of Los Angeles. They were looking for a gun owner who’d recently spent two days in a mental hospital.

They knocked on the door and asked to come in. About 45 minutes later, they came away peacefully with three firearms….

She didn’t blame the attorney general’s agents for taking the guns based on the information they had, she said.

 

That’s the spirit. Gov’t knows best and good proles know their place, that’s why California is so enlightened!

Via Weasel Zippers, ungood. Very ungood.

A federal appeals judge has upheld most of a 2010 Arizona state law that prohibits school districts from offering coursework that endorses the overthrow of the United States government or stokes resentment toward a race or class of people.

How dare they!?!?!?!?!? Big Brother has declared that it’s okay to say white people are the cause of all evils!

It’s plus ungood that they’re actually questioning the gov’t!

Today the Department of Justice inspector general released a report on potential Labor secretary nominee Tom Perez’s DOJ Civil Rights Division. The timing of the release to coincide with his nomination was certainly accidental, because the report paints a damning portrait of the DOJ unit he managed.

The full report is here.

 The 250-page report offers an inside glimpse of systemic racialist dysfunction inside one of the most powerful federal government agencies.

Room 101 for them.

Good. Plus good in Lebanon!

Hezbollah’s “black shirts” will decide the coming president, prime minister, and cabinet.

Obama’s partners for peace!

I’m waiting for O’brien to tell me if this is good or ungood, so don’t have an opinion until I tell you the proper one.

Last week we saw some Syrian gov’t types ran from Syria and were being escorted by Iraqis when they were killed by freedom fighters, but we didn’t know which freedom fighters. Now we do.

Al Qaeda in Iraq claimed credit for the March 4 attack in Anbar province that killed 48 Syrian soldiers who were fleeing their civil war and nine Iraqi troops who were escorting them to Baghdad.

So al Quaeda is fighting Hezbollah and Iran? How am I supposed to know how to think when one group that Dear Leader killed personally is supposedly fighting another group that’s a partner for peace?

Good! Plusgood! Global Warming is so bad it’s causing blizzrds in England!

In the south of the UK, roads were blocked by snow and hundreds of drivers were trapped in their cars.

It’s so hot it’s snowing!

Which means that a doubeplusungood thing is more likely to happen what with all the warming!

Warming oceans could cause Earth’s axis to tilt in the coming century, a new study suggests. The effect was previously thought to be negligible, but researchers now say the shift will be large enough that it should be taken into account when interpreting how the Earth wobbles.

Oh noes!!!!!!

Bob Owens talks about some doubleplusgood, common sense gun regulations!

Take a looking at a sampling of what it Sebastian notes it would outlaw:

  • If you leave home for more than 7 days and leave anyone at home, that becomes a felony illegal transfer. 5 years in prison for each of you.
  • if you take a friend shooting and allow him to fire your gun, that is a felony illegal transfer. 5 years in prison for each of you.
  • If you have a gun lost or stolen and don’t report it within 24 hours, you’ve committed a felony. 5 years in prison.
  • If you lend a gun to someone for to try out at the range, provide a loaner for a student in training, let your son shoot a rifle you purchased while hunting, or provide a gun to a woman for self-defense, you’ve committed a felony. 5 years in prison for each of you.

That’s just scratching the surface. Make sure you read the rest about how it could Schumer’s law put gun dealers out of business, and create a de facto national registry… a prelude to confiscation.

 

It’s doubleplusgood that they’re keeping guns out of the wrong hands! And working on confiscation is the best way to start!

It’s doubleplusgood that McCain and Graham hate people because of McCain losing an election!

That Senator McCain harbors a grudge against “the Bushies” for the South Carolina primary defeat that ended his presidential run in 2000 is the worst kept secret in Washington. Having “his” candidate lose in his home state was also a blow to Graham. Known for his long memory, some Senate staffers joke the “R” behind McCain’s name is for “revenge.” Other quip Lindsey Graham is “the senator from McCain.”…

That weekend, McCain and Graham hit the Sunday talk show circuit expressing justifiable concern about Hagel’s qualifications for the job. But when Senator Cruz later asked Hagel equally hard-hitting questions in an Armed Services Committee meeting, McCain and Graham publicly raked him over the coals for being too tough on Hagel.

This left Beltway insiders and regular folk scratching their heads. Unless, of course, they remembered Cruz’s Bush association…..

So naturally, Lindsey Graham appeared on the Senate floor the next morning with a ridiculous sign comparing Americans killed in the U.S. by al-Qaeda (2,958) vs. drones (0.)

 

I have an illustration for whenever I mention Graham, it’s good that I did this!

little lord graham

 

 

Round the Tubes, I’m Not The One Who Took That Gif Off the Top

Posted: March 3, 2013 by veeshir in China, Exploding things, Filthy Hippies, Fun With Media, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP FAIL, Green Goofs, Hotassery, Jitardis, Liberal Fascism, Mideast Madness, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, Transportation Stupidity Assholes
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Edition.

upton

If I were her, that’s what I would do all day too.

Not sure why I bother posting anything after that, but what the hell.

Actually, this is an easy post, if I piss people off nobody will notice, not even the 4 people who actually read the posts.

First, let’s go to EUnuchstan.

Last week we saw the EUnuchs saying the problem in the Middle East is them dam, dirty, Jews. This week they’re saying, “Sorry”.

No, not that they said that, that people found out they were saying that. That was only for upper-class EUnuchstanian Oligarchs to know about.

The EUnuchs are really not happy about Italy’s election and the hits keep hitting.

That article explains how the guy whose party’s platform is to not work with anybody is the new Mussolini! (fascism is based on ‘fasces”, bundles of sticks, i.e. working together).

The stand-up comedian Beppe Grillo, like the fascist dictator Benito Mussolini before him, has a craving to take over the piazza and mesmerise the crowd.

They then list a whole bunch of other ‘similarities’, but they leave out the most damning. They both speak Italian!

That story is absolutely correct about everything.

Check that. It’s only correct in the spelling of his name. For instance, they call it the “Vaffa” Day Protests instead of the Vaffanculo Day Protests. Vaffa does not mean the same thing, they call them the “Fuck Off” protests instead of the “Fuck you up your ass” protest. Perhaps a subtle difference, but one anybody with an ass should be able to see.

That was what I had to weed my way through last week to find a story that didn’t make up obvious stuff.

Some Italy stuff that’s not full of shit.

During these elections, all that’s wrong with Italian politics in the last 20 years has finally caught up to us. The government’s relationship — and lack of communication — with the Italian people has led to an unprecedented height of pure electoral protest.

Yup.  I just hope we can go the same route and not the route our social, moral, political and intellectual betters seem to be hell bent on going down.

This is the seqway from EUnuchstan to other continents! It’s like a segue, but phonetically spelled. The Italians are trying to do some furrin aid, but being Italians they’re not just giving money.

Italians teach locals in Burkina Faso both the recipe for pizza, and the formula for a successful small business.

As they say, buy a man a pizza and you feed him for a football game. Teach him how to make a pizza and drunks will try to give him money at 3 in the morning.

More Africa, This one is funny on a few levels. As we know, Egyptians are pretty much just protesting everything, here we have soccer fans protesting John Kerry leaving their country.

Hundreds of Egyptian football fans blocked a main road to Cairo’s international airport on Sunday, forcing a delay in visiting US Secretary of State John Kerry’s departure

You’d think they’d protest him entering the country plus, I can only assume that Kerry, being French and a eunuch, would like soccer. Eh, they’re happy so that’s all that matters.

What continent is Lebanon on? Asia, right? Well, whatever, it’s a transitional spot so let’s go there.

They’re actually starting to fight back against Hezbollah.

Sunni Sheikh Ahmad al-Assir expressed his willingness to militarily protect himself and his followers from Hezbollah members allegedly stationed near his Sidon mosque.

It’s a good time for that, what with Hezbollah sending so many of their terrorist north to aid Assad kill Syrians.

I’d bet Mossad is watching and I gotta figure they’re helping, when jihadi fights jihadi,  Israel is happy.

Iran’s in Asia right? So let’s continue our way across that continent. That article is about the players in some Iranian, faux-election that allows EUnuchs and John Effin Kerry (BIRM) to pretend they’re elected.

It’s not all that important, in other words, I’m just linking to it because of their continued use of “Right wing”, they do it for a few candidates.

Saeed Jalili

His name was mentioned as a potential right-wing candidate,

WTF does that mean? Is he for lower taxes and decreasing the size of gov’t or is he Hitler or is he not close enough to Hitler? I figure it just means, “He’s bad”, so another example of exporting our values! Right wingers=Bad.

Now let’s seg our way to China.

Apparently, one, two, three, four, let’s have a currency war!

Now I understand I have very little idea how economics works (I have to take the dollar signs off to make change), but China is a shithole country that would be even shittier without foreign exchange.

We can survive without them, we’ll just have to buy toys that don’t kill our kids but at a higher price, they’ll have to sell their shitty, toxic, junk to each other.

While we’re boned economically, the rest of the world is exponentially more boned. Especially commie nations where they make up their numbers and nobody really has any idea what the fuck is going on. (See, Russia 1989).

That’s enough of THEY’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!, let’s try a little WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!

A little drudgetaposition.

TSA’s hiring freeze, sequestrially-caused, will increase lines for waiting to be groped.

TSA expands groping to RRs, roads, waterways, ports, the hallway between your bedroom and the bathroom, etc.

TSA related, they explain how what you saw in that video last week wasn’t what you saw. They were respectful and all you assholes saying otherwise are liars, you’d better arrive at the airport at least 36 hours ahead of your flight if they know who you are (and they do).

A week or two ago I talked about how it was good that two innocent people who were shot by bad guys didn’t have guns or there might have been a gun-fight. I thought I was joking.

A Florida high school student wrestled a loaded gun away from another teen (who was aiming at another studentV) on the bus ride home this week and was slapped with a suspension in return. (due to being involved in a gun-related incident V)

Tar, feathers, a rail and a few baseball bats seem required. Heinlein saved his worst vitriol for school boards but I never understood that until I was in my 30s. I went to Catholic School so they didn’t have school boards.

See? This is one of the reasons I get so fucking pissed off about “Standing“. I can’t sue the gov’t for saying they have the right to kill me with their RC air force, but Masshole pols are making sure that animal “rights” idjits can sue hunters and dog owners for hunting and dog owning.

Fuck. Eco-wackos can sue all and sundry over their religion, but I can’t sue the feds for saying they can kill me.

Speaking of the RC armada,

The U.S. Department of Homeland Security has customized its Predator drones, originally built for overseas military operations, to carry out at-home surveillance tasks that have civil libertarians worried: identifying civilians carrying guns and tracking their cell phones, government documents show.

So when you’re drone hunting….skeet shooting, turn off your phone and remove the battery. As for knowing I’m armed, well, it’s gonna find that out anyway.

So the conservatives in the GOP have a plan.

Remember when I said that we weren’t going to see a budget just another continuing resolution that’s totally not a bloated budget full of earmarks?

The draft continuing resolution (CR) assumes the sequester, set to begin cutting government spending by $85 billion on Friday, is left in place, which conservatives see as a way to reduce deficits.

Looking better and better all the time (or rather, worse and worse).

Fuck.

High-fucking-larious.  Obama’s job approval is going down! That’s super-duper important!!!!!!! There’s no way he’s going to be re-elected next Novem…..wait, that doesn’t mean shit.

He never cared about his popularity, he only cared about making his opponents look worse. Now he doesn’t even have to give a shit about that.

Some humor.The first one is anti-climatic.

Via Gateway Pundit,  we see my favorite global warmmongering idjits.

The ones who so totally believe their religion that they go to the North or South Pole bringing extra sunscreen and a bathing suit(warning, unsafe, yellow-journalism, Minitrue sub-outlet at Wash Post).

So this tool went to Antarctica to highlight global worming and

British explorer Ranulph Fiennes on Monday pulled out of an expedition to cross Antarctica during the region’s winter after developing frostbite (emphasis mine V)

Global warmmongers really just are fucking clueless about reality.

Added later: isn’t Antarctica in the southern hemisphere? Isn’t it summer there when it’s winter here? So it’s summer there and not winter, right? I’d bet that whichever Winston Smith they had working on that article put that in to make it seem as if it’s supposed to be colder

I’ve been reading this guy off and on for years. He used to have a faux-commie blog that confused people so he moved to War Planner.  It’s a cool blog on military stuff usually, here he goes for Teh Funny.

This asshole looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, “Is that Corona or Bud?”

I said, “There’s a tap underneath; taste it and find out.”

—-

I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, “If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you’d look all right.”

I told her, “If I did that, I’d be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”

—-

I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.

“Really” she said, “Go on then…try.”

After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said.

“Come on, what day was I born”?

I said, “Yesterday.”

—-

I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today.

The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

(Why does it seem so much worse to be peeing like that instead of doing it while you’re  in the pool?V)

—-

I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.

I said, “Nice legs.”

The girl giggled and said with a smile, “Do you really think so.”

I said “Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now. “

Have fun folks, but not too much fun, cuz the more fun we have the more likely WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!

Tubes and Boobs

Posted: March 2, 2013 by veeshir in Democratic morality, Exploding things, FAIL Britannia!, Fun with Elections, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Green Goofs, Hotassery, Lame, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, PEBKAC, True Heroes, Win!, WTF Is Wrong With Denver, You'll pry 'em from my cold dead hands
6

upton2

Now that I have your attention, let’s go to the boobs!

So a few years ago Tsar Putin I had a guy named Litvinenko killed in London using some sort of radioactive stuff in a needle. So the Brits decided to get tough and investigate it!

The results will stay secret. (Grauniad link, I had my choice of BBC, NY Times of the Grauniad, sorry).

Shit, those wimpy boobs in the Brit gov’t ar….damn that’s one fanfastic fucking gif up there.

Lest we think Britain is totally useless, check this out.

A GRANDAD whose house was pelted with stones by a schoolboy was NICKED and FINED after frogmarching him to his parents for a telling-off.

See? They’re not totally useless, they’re totally fucking useless!

In non-boob news, Columbia teaches us how to negotiate with terrorists.

Colombian government forces have killed a FARC brigade commander close to the Marxist group’s chief peace negotiator

Now that’s how you do it. FARC ceased their cease fire so the Columbians started killing them again. Nice.

Headline

The Holocaust Just Got More Shocking

No you idiots, all it does is illustrate beyond a shadow of a doubt that those Germans who claimed “I didn’t know!!!” were lying sacks of shit. Just like anybody with a brain already knew.

I have a hard time watching some war movies and not wishing we had perfected the bomb 2 years earlier. Especially in the Band of Brothers when they find the camp and Germans pretend they had no idea what was happening in that horrible place.

Damn, everybody wants to be where the revolution starts.

Brophy points to a section of the bill that defines a high-capacity magazine as one capable of accepting or — that can be readily converted — to accept more than 15 rounds or eight shotgun shells.

That’s just about every pump-action shotgun, you can put a mag extender on them so they’re illegal even without doing so.

So that’s why Biden was pushing double-barrels.

I know, I’m banging my chubby fists on the high-chair again, but….

Jonah Goldberg is upset they’re not inviting Christie to CPAC,

Oh, and he parroted the gun-control line and flip-flopped on accepting a federal bribe to accept Obamacare funding to expand Medicaid.

He thinks they need a big tent, stop being so strict about who they let in.

Yeah, that’s worked so well for the Church of England and the Catholic Church in America.

When your stock in trade is a belief system, it helps to actually FUCKING BELIEVE IN SOMETHING!

Sorry. I just get worked up. Added, I deleted “you assholes”, that was unnecessary. I was all worked up.

Heinlein always said that If “everybody knows” such-and-such, then it ain’t so, by at least ten thousand to one

Case in point. There aren’t more black men in prison than college.

I have to admit, I’ve always accepted that. It always embarrasses me when I forget that truism.

This one is funny on so many levels. 20 years after it could do any good, the state of Michigan is declaring Detroit a disaster area and taking over.

The quotes are what make it.

Mayor Dave Bing said Friday he does not favor an emergency manager to solve Detroit’s problems,

Wait, you mean a grifter is upset that he’s going to lose his source of graft? Color me pointing and laughing.

But wait, he demands his graft!

“There needs to be additional conversation with Lansing regarding their plan to move the city forward,” Bing said. “We have always said that we need help from Lansing to implement our initiatives such as public safety, transportation, lighting and others.

I’ll translate: Gimme, gimme, gimme.

I have to admit, I totally agree with this resident.

“I don’t think it’s right at all,”Angela Woodmere, 37, said Friday outside the Maccabees Building on Woodward. “We elected Detroit politicians and Snyder shouldn’t be dictating how they run the city.”

People get the gov’t they want, they voted for Henry Gondorff, they should keep him.

Speaking of scumbags. Via the Jawas we see Obama’s peace partners giving toys to children!!!! yay!!!!!

The Khyber Pakhtunkhwa (KP) government has decided to educate children about the dangers of toy-like bombs after militants allegedly targeted them recently with bombs disguised as candy, toys and even a string of ball-shaped explosives tied to a cricket bat.

Fucking savages. As for the Obama bit, it might not be the Taliban, but you know Obama would side with this set of boy-fucking savages just like he does with the Taliban.

Via Samizdata, we see this story about art. No, about Art!

So a hundred years ago some guy named Duchamp was at an art exhibit and he grabbed a urinal, signed it and put it on display. Some people are still doing it today. (Recall the janitor who “tidied up” a pile of garbage not realizing it was a million dollar pile of garbage). So the reviewer has this to say:

But it’s not going to come from repeating the same old tricks of 100 years ago. The urinal lovers now are the art establishment.

Hilariously true, but I laugh because I think of the haughty smugnitude you would get back from any Arteeeeest you said that to.

Couple Castle Arghhhhh! links.

First, the dumbest thing I’ve seen all day. (and that’s fucking saying something)

Cadets on the Brigade Energy and Environmental staff will introduce a new insignia to the Corps when they don their cadet uniforms this week. These cadet energy and environmental officers and noncommissioned officers, or E2Os, are tasked with leading the charge on initiatives related to recycling, energy and water conservation at the academy.

Silver Gore Award!

What does 4 up, 3 squiggly mean to you soldier? You’re pathetic sergeant!

The Silver Gore can’t be far behind. I swear, they’re just fucking with us now.

At first glance this looks awesome, but look closer.

army_men

Where the hell is the mine sweeper guy! Geez, they’re gonna be boned without him. Everybody knows the dinosaurs plant mines.

A sad post and one where the NY Post blew the headline again.

A massive spill at a Chivas plant has sent the smell of spirits flowing through a Scottish sewer

It should read Hundreds of people found in the sewers of Dumbarton, Scotland.

True Heroes! I so rarely get to use that category. There are only 4 of Doolittle’s Raider’s left alive.

There’s only one thing about that that doesn’t totally suck.

Years ago the President of Hennessy Company presented a bottle of 1896 vintage “Very Special Hennessy” cognac to General Jimmy Doolittle, in honor of his birth year and it was decided that the last two survivors would toast the fallen with it. Due to their advanced age it was decided that they would make the toast this year, before there were none left.

Nice.

Round The Tubes: Well Duh.

Posted: February 8, 2013 by veeshir in China, Exploding things, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Government FAIL, Green Goofs, Notes on the Revolution
2

I’ve been getting too long winded, I do go on, so let’s try laconicity.

Some of the most unsurprising stories ever.

Well duh.

into allegations of corruption in its Chicago contract.

Well duh.

Squeezed by historic funding shortfalls, school districts across the state in recent years have been illegally dipping into cafeteria funds meant to provide meals to poor students to pay other school expenses,

Well duh.

The federal government on Friday revealed the 30 per cent minerals resource rent tax (MRRT) on the super-profits of iron ore and coal miners raised just $126 million in its first six months.

It was projected to generate revenue of $2 billion by the end of 2012/13

That one includes the battle cry of the 21st century.

“How are we going to pay for the things that we need in this country?”

These need more than just “well duh”.

They’re burying the lede on this one.

Did Hamas dispatch 7,000 militiamen from the Gaza Strip to Egypt to protect President Mohamed Morsi, who is currently facing a popular uprising?

Alternate headline: Terror attacks against Israel expected to drop.

Now this isn’t funny, but if you look, you can see something that’s very fucking endily funny.

So we’ve all seen the LA cop who loved lefty rhetoric and hated the right people is on a killing spree and the rest of the LA police dept is as well. They  mistakenly shot two women thinking it was the killer’s truck.

So how can that get endily funny?

That’s a Toyota Tacoma, folks. The Nissan Titan is a full sized truck. The Tacoma is a small truck. These panicky morons opened up on the first truck-like vehicle that came down the street. They didn’t ID the vehicle, they CERTAINLY didn’t look at who was in the truck, as the suspect was a black male and the two people shot were females.

Get that? They were looking for a Nissan full size and they shot up a Toyota compact, the colors would, at best, be barely similar (different companies) and the people in the car were women and not a black man.

How fucking horribly, darkly, funny is it that this is good news?

Imagine if the guy they’re hunting had stopped at Circle K for a pack of smokes and since he’s a cop and killing cops he’s feeling god-like so he leaves the truck running as he goes in the store. Now a different black man sees this, this one is a choir singer/multiple felon, and also notices that he’s about the same height and has a similar hair cut as the man leaving the car.

So this different yet similar black man steals the truck and gets stopped by the police, he doesn’t understand what’s going on and the cops are freaking so he gets shot.

How long before the Reverends Al and the rest of the race industry shows up and causes a riot or three?

See? It’s good that they shot two women in a dissimilar truck!

That’s not laconic, the people in charge of the previous bit have been sacked.

Glenn Reynolds rains on my parade.

Canada’s Near Earth Object Surveillance Satellite, scheduled to launch from India next month, will hunt for asteroids that could strike Earth.

Man they’re just no

That’s too laconic. The people who sacked the previous people have themselves been sacked.

The post has been completed in an entirely different style at great expense and at the last minute

Lamas!

A Chinese court on Friday sentenced a man to 13 years in prison for inciting an ethnic Tibetan monk to set himself on fire, the latest punishment meted out in a crackdown as Chinese authorities try to stop a string of self-immolation protests that has reached almost 100 incidents.

Brilliant! The threat of jail is sure to stop people who are bent on burning themselves to death.

Round The Tubes: Puppy Blender Style

Posted: January 31, 2013 by veeshir in Conservatism, FAIL, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP FAIL, Green Goofs, I'm Afraid I Can't Blog That, Mideast Madness, Obama's Fault, Queerblogging
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I wanted to do Drudge style, but that’s not easy. I probably won’t even be able to do Puppy Blender Style.

Proof Obama has gone  skeet shooting(at least twice)  NPR gets excited.

skeet

 

(I worry for the dog*)

The UN doing what it does best: Jews Out of Judea.

Does anybody think this is on accident? “The Chicago home where the late President Ronald Reagan grew up is slated to be demolished and potentially turned into a parking lot for President Obama’s Library,“

Minorities worth less to CNN:Many staffers were stunned when Feder constantly complained that the viewership of “Early Start” and “Starting Point” was “too ethnic,

Heh Increase in plant food grows more plants. Film at Eleven.

Personal foul: Illegal use of hands.Former NFL offensive tackle Kwame Harris reportedly was scheduled to appear in court Monday on assault charges stemming from an argument with his ex-boyfriend over soy sauce and underwear

Soy sauce and going out with guys. Hmmmmm. Lemur King was unavailable for comment.

Marco Rubio’s pander on immigration might be a good thing. I’ve heard that song before. I didn’t like it the  first eighty times.

Syria says Israel flew under radar level, I wonder if Israel stealthed their jets or have stealth jets. Syria did admit it was a weapons facility. direct strike on a scientific research centre in charge of raising our level of resistance and self-defence,

That’s it, for a true puppy blender style there would be about 40 more posts. How does he do it day after day, year after year? I can’t imagine. He does provide a valuable service, I hope he makes decent money from it. We certainly don’t see any of that sweet, sweet blog money. I figure AliceH keeps it all.

*This link and Pshop was from yesterday, I forgot it. That guy does great Pshops but has never once given me any firewood.

And yes, in case any of you were wondering, I do make myself laugh. I’m my own best audience.

Round the Tubes, Sufferin Succotash Edition

Posted: January 29, 2013 by veeshir in Anklebiting rugrats, Ask a Moron, Exploding things, FAIL, Filthy Hippies, Fun With Media, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Government FAIL, Green Goofs, Hotassery, Liberal Fascism, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, PEBKAC, This Is My BOOMSTICK!
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Dethpicable is the theme of the day.

Updated later, I meant to include this seeming despicability, but it’s more nuanced.

Berlusconi, second longest Italian PM to Mussolini, said that aside from all the Jew-hatred, Mussolini wasn’t so bad.

People are all OUTRAGED!!!

Let me comment. I have lots of Italian family members (some might or might not be related), I have a ‘cousin’ in Italy who was with the Italian army in North Africa, there were probably others, but we drank some vino and talked about it. His version of WWII was wandering around Africa until they found some Americans to surrender to and then they threw a party. He really didn’t want to go there to fight, neither did his whole unit (corps? Division? Army?)

He, and all my Italian relatives who were alive in WWII, had the same attitude toward Mussolini, never did a better leader have a worse people. They all felt kind of bad they let him down. It’s a funny sort of deal. They’re all northern Italians, Sicilians might have a different attitude.

Now back to the post.

First up in our tour of the tubes, we have some cumming.

So Obama the other day casually mentioned how he goes skeet shooting all the time. Now naturally, the Minitrue employeed just nodded and cummed (they do that whenever Obama talks), but everybody not making their underwear sticky thought, “Well, that’s a lie”.

What we’re seeing is that Obama can literally say anything that pops into his head and the despicable Minitrue will just nod, cum and accept it so his lies are getting even more ridiculous. I anxiously await his telling some Minitrue tool about his first miracle.

Important update

Via Ace, we see The New Republic seeing a p-shop where someone took the golf club out of Obama’s hand and put in a shotgun, they then started cumming and posting one-handed about how this oughtta shut up them wingnuts.

Now back to our regularly, scheduled post.

Next we have something that illustrates so helpfully exactly how full of Jew-Hatred our tolerant, loving neighbors in EUnuchstan really are.

On Holocaust Day the London Times ran this cartoon showing a caricature Netanyahu (now with extra-Jewish features!) building a wall using the blood and bodies of the peaceful Egyptians and Jordanians who live in Gaza and the West Bank. The cartoon is so despicable, you would have to be steeped in hatred to not say, “Well that’s fucking despicable.”

Next in despicability, we see that ABC interviewed Menendez and didn’t ask about his problems with underage hookers. Further, they knew in March and April that he was being investigated but kept it quiet, can’t have voters get confused about whether to pull the lever for an (R) who wants to kill children or a (D) who just rapes them.

It’s For The Children of course.

Now we’ll have some global warmmongering despicability.  Now I figure that most of the adherents of that religion (who aren’t making money or power off it) actually have faith, it’s the poo-bahs who know the truth and lie out their teeth for power and money I find despicable. In that link, we see that electronic vehicles help curb global worming (made up problem) at the cost of raping the environment because of all the pollutionistical batteries.

Well duh. Any engineer could have told you that, further, I would dispute that it saves on green house gasses (plant food), making electricity ain’t free. Just cuz the car doesn’t spew CO2 doesn’t mean the electric generator down the road doesn’t.

I can’t do any more despicability, how about some hilarity?

Next we have talk about how Minitrue and other media outlets (TV, Movies, etc.) try to demoralize their hated enemies (me) but we can’t put up with it!

Me? My fellow Americans demoralized me when they voted for free shit and re-elected Teleprompter Jesus.

What the demoralizers don’t understand is that I’m not really demoralized, I’ve given up trying to stop the end or even hoping that we can avoid. See, I’m not upset that lefties rule, I’m more worried about what happens when their unsustainable programs stop. What happens when people who have been told for 60 years that they deserve free shit and they don’t get that free shit? Trouble, that’s what’s gonna happen, it’s gonna be ugly. I’m not joking at all when I say the asteroid is the best option.

Now we something that remoralizes me, at least lets me know there are people on my side.

Seattle had a gun ‘buy-back’ program (a lie in the title! They’re not “buying guns back” unless you accept that the gov’t owns everything and just lets us use some stuff for a while) and it ended up being a gun show. The cops were offering

$100 for handguns, shotguns and rifles, and $200 for assault weapons

So some freedom loving Americans were offering the people selling their dead grandfather’s guns a lot more than $100
for handguns, rifles and shotguns and were also offering over $1000 for that “$200 assault rifle”, so this “buy back” program was a roaring success. We saved more guns from being destroyed.

It’s funny how often capitalism surprises our fine political, social, intellectual and moral betters.

In further non-despicability blogging, a blegging.

For Buy a Gun Day, since my next gun purchases are going to be high end that I can’t afford, especially in the current climate, I think I’m going to get a sword (I might get a recurve bow as well).

I’m thinking of Cold Steel swords. I’m leaning toward this “Italian long sword” but this “Hand and a half sword” could be the choice.

Anybody have any ideas on where to get a good sword? I’ve heard Cold Steel is pretty good, nothing super spectacular, but good steel and good swords. I’m not going up against the Dread Pirate Roberts (or even Inigo Montoya), but I do want a nice sword and I don’t want a katana.

Now, the hotassery. Wyatt had a post on Taylor Swift and I realized that, even though she creeps me out, she’s freaking hot.

(more…)

Round The Tubes, Nelson Muntz Edition

Posted: January 16, 2013 by veeshir in China, Exploding things, Filthy Hippies, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Green Goofs, HAHAHAHAHAA!!!!, It's Science!, Jitardis, Mideast Madness, Obama's Fault, Teh Funneh
2

“Gotta nuke something” posts first.

Brunei, fucking Brunei, is the chair of ASEAN this year and they’re bearding China in their den.

Brunei will pursue a binding code of conduct among competing South China Sea claimants as a top priority during its ASEAN chairmanship, officials said Monday.

 

So I guess having a feckless American president is causing others to stand up.  Of course, they need America to stand up for them when push comes to commie invasion.

Which leads to this, Obama’s been selling stuff to non-commies so

The key strategic aim of the “pivot”, experts contend, is to contain China’s maritime assertiveness and protect freedom of navigation in the Western Pacific, a global artery for trade and energy transportation. Yet the US’s strategic re-focus on Asia has paradoxically not only strengthened the hands of Chinese hawks calling for a more muscular counter-strategy but also emboldened the US’s regional partners, namely Japan, Philippines, and Vietnam, to push their claims more aggressively.

 

 

I have high hopes, but I’m just not sure if I trust that Obama fellow. Every time he’s been involved in an international dispute, from Honduras to Iran to Great Britain and more, he’s sided with the commies. but apparently at least some non-commies and non-Chinese commies think they can trust him.

Still, I’m not sure if I’d place my country’s future in Obama’s hands, especially as we see it heating up.

I had other possible nuke things going on, but I’m no longer in the mood so on to Le Ha Ha.

I love this one. I’m a little embarrassed it was commie Chinese and not good, old, American rednecks who came up with it though. We’re falling behind in the crazy use of weapons department.

Organisers of an ice festival in China’s northern Jilin province thought they were being clever by inviting tourists to use live chickens as shooting targets. Instead, it has sparked controversy and anger when people across the country learned about the cruel game.

The photos, published by major newspapers including The People’s Daily, showed people shooting arrows at live childrens at an ice park. In one photo, a chicken is seen struggling after being shot with two arrows.

 

Sputter. I mean, I love it, but did any of the people involved with this stop and say, “You know, maybe this isn’t such a good idea.”?

This is kind of a brutal, endy sort of Ha-Ha but since I’m happy when terrorists torture and kill each other instead of me, I’m calling this a win.

Then there are the prisons run by the armed opposition, filled with partisans of the Syrian regime. Inside these walls, people accused of committing crimes are being tortured and liquidated by their captors in the armed opposition.

 

In their own torture centers. That’s gosh darned endy and funny. I mean, I know they’re jihadis who are just grabbing anybody they don’t like, but at least some of them must be actual Syrian agents.

Another that’s not funny. But it is.

A 31-year-old Bronx man fell to his death yesterday while defecating between subway cars on a moving 6 train, cops said.

 

Is it wrong to hope he had a goatee, was wearing a vest and a vintage Quisp t-shirt?

 

And for the big finale, my very favorite type of Ha-Ha, global warmmongering ha-has.

Freezing weather with light snow flurries greeted about 200 climate activists gathered on the steps of the state Capitol noon Monday to demand the state Legislature get serious about climate change.

Just cuz the endy is getting worse doesn’t mean Gaia stopped hating Al Gore.
Not From Olympia, just a funny pic

Not From Olympia, just a funny pic

Don’t forget to point and laugh folks, schaden is the only freude you’re getting.

How Dare You Be Right Too Soon!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?1

Posted: January 8, 2013 by veeshir in Green Goofs, HAHAHAHAHAA!!!!
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There is nothing worse in this world than to be right too soon.

If you’re right before our intellectual elite is, well, you’re just an unhelpful jerk. And saying, “I told you so” ? That just makes you a jerk.

Case in point, everybody who studies global worming (who doesn’t make money off WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!), knows Al Gore is a greedy, hypocritical asshole who was kicked out of divinity school (I thought you could only be kicked out of divinity school if your check bounced) but just found another religion to head.

Everybody who believes in global worming (and who isn’t making money off it), thinks Al Gore is Saint Gorequemada.

We all know now that Al Gore is nothing but a bulls***ter,” said the staffer bluntly.

We do stories on the tax code, and he sells the network before the tax code kicked in?

“Al was always lecturing us about green. He kept his word about green all right—as in cold, hard cash!”

 

Well duh. This is the man who made hundreds of millions of dollars via his full-of-lies Powerpoint presentation, his indulgence…. carbon credits and his preaching of his religion.

And that’s why I have a problem with fools like this guy, he’s discovered actual science and realizes that gen-mod foods are not The Debbil/Mama Boucher, they are a boon to starving people everywhere.

But notice they have a link to some of his earlier stuff (warning, lying sacks of shit at the Grauniad link)

So is it time to follow in the steps of the UK environment minister Phil Woolas and reassess the potential of GM? As Woolas says: “There is a growing question of whether GM crops can help the developing world out of the current food price crisis. It is a question that we as a nation need to ask ourselves.” So is he right?

I doubt it.

 

Yeah, and you were proud of how pure your motives were and how evil the bio-tech companies were, they were not altruistic!!!! They actually expected to make money!!!!!!!!!

Asshole.

And that’s why I refuse to take any of the leftist dolts who suddenly see the light, they will soon revert to their natural idiocy (LGF and Andrew Sullivan, for instance).

They don’t think, they feel, and if they are forced to confront actual thinking, it’s only a momentary blip.

I guarantee that fool still believes in global worming and anybody who disagrees is as much a poopy-head as the idiots who he used to disagree with on gen-mod food.

Green Science is neither and its proponents are as intolerant and willfully ignorant as the worst middle-ages, Spanish inquisitor.

Damn You Cold Fury!!!!

Posted: January 2, 2013 by veeshir in Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Green Goofs, Moron of the Day
1

Damn it, another year, another tie with fucking Cold Fury for the Best Cussing Blog.

That motherfucker pisses me off. I’d boycott him and maybe try to start a blogwar but I really like reading his blog. Sonomabatch.

Speaking of fury and cold, I saw this at Drudge and it made me fucking laugh.

While the world warms, Alaska is headed for an ice age!

While global temperatures surge hotter and the ice-cap crumbles, the nation’s icebox is getting even icier.

Bwahahahahahahhahaha. Someone should tell that fool that the ice caps are very close to Alaska and if Alaska is getting colder then maybe, just maybe, the fucking ice caps are getting colder too.

It’s funny how true the dictum to never try to reason someone out of a position they weren’t reasoned into is.

There, now that’s blogging and cussing.

In conclusion,

Fuck.

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