Archive for the ‘HAHAHAHAHAA!!!!’ Category

Highlarity.

obamahomo

Via everybody’s favorite ‘Stan, SondraKi

Totally unrelated Ukrainian update

The first “gunmen” to set up checkpoints in Ukraine?

According to a talking head at CNN it was Putin’s best buds, the Night Wolves.

Tsar Putin I obviously doesn’t trust the Cossacks like earlier tsars.

I can’t believe I’m watching CNN to see actual news, they’re still idiots, Ban Ki Moon’s STRONG!!!!!! STATEMENT!!!! was anything but even though they keep saying it was strong, but they’re at least covering Ukraine.

MSNBC is still busy with Bridgegate!!!!! and Foxnews is still stuck on Obamacare.

Important Update on Unrelated Ukraine:

Holy Shit, Wolf Blitzer just tried to compare this with Bosnia, Christiane I’mawhore said no, and then compared it to the US invasion of Iraq. Seriously. No, she really did. Don’t give me that look, I’m absolutely fucking serious.

Not a one of those idiots knows enough history to know it’s either Hungary/Czechoslovakia where the West frowns furiously, WWI where all these treaties get everybody involved in a war or WWII and we’re in the early phases of Poland and about to move into the Phoney War.

MSNBC is not stuck on Bridgegate!!!!!, they’re covering the breaking news of George Zimmerman and Trayvon, Choir Boy, Martin.

Foxnews is finally covering Ukraine, but they’re using Huckabee to do it.

Oh well, the world is going to have to blow up without me watching, I can’t take CNN anymore and I can never take Huckabee.

I’ve been saying for a while that the Dems want a little over a $trillion budget deficit while the GOP wants a little less.

I wuz wrong.

The debt of the U.S. government has increased by $2.678 trillion in the 2.5 years since House Speaker John Boehner (R.-Ohio) completed his first deal to put legislation increasing the debt limit through a Republican-controlled House of Representatives.

Sorry for any confusion.

I’ve said that Obama was a lying sack of shit for saying that there wasn’t a smidgeon of corruption at the IRS.

I wuz wrong.

…83% were right-leaning. And of the groups the IRS selected for audit, 100% were right-leaning. (Italics in original V)

That’s not a smidgeon, that’s a shitload.

Sorry for any confusion.

I thought the military were a bunch of fucking assholes for sending an officer to jail for the killing of a murderous jihadi in Iraq during a war.

I wuz wrong.

Army 1LT Michael Behenna has won parole. Apparently he was notified that his clemency request was denied but the parole request was granted.

They’re fucking assholes for not pardoning him but slightly less assholish for at least letting him out of Leavenworth.

The other day I was looking for something else and saw a link to Commentary Mag, I wasn’t sure if Commentary was trustworthy or not so I clicked around and saw this article about the Presbyterian Church declaring war on Judaism so I figured they were sensationalists making crap up and didn’t use the link.

I wuz wrong.

Moreover, IPMN’s book argues, the American Jewish community actively stifles dissent against the Zionist narrative, taking advantage of the “ignorance and passivity of many liberal American Jews.”

IPMN is the Israel Palestine Mission Network.

Sorry for any confusion in not trusting them the other day.

I’ve been saying for a while that the truck bomb war in Lebanon would be heating up.

I wuz wrong.

The general strategy of the regime and its allies will likely take the form of fierce aerial bombardment followed by a ground campaign….

They’ve going the conventional warfare route.

Sorry for any confusion.

I didn’t think Hassan Nasrallah could make me laugh in any way except watching him get blown up.

I wuz wrong.

valentine

That’s fucking hilarious.  The # is a nice touch.

I wish my PShop-fu was a tenth as good as Aliceh or Slublog, that’s crying out for so much.

I’ve been hoping that SMOD was going to KILL US ALL!!

I wuz wrong.

The magnetic field is weakening and…

Experts believe we’re currently overdue a flip, but they’re unsure when this could occur.

If a switch happens, we would be exposed to solar winds capable of punching holes into the ozone layer.

The impact could be devastating for mankind…

The magnetic field flipping is going to KILL US ALL!!!!!

On the plus side, we’ll be able to say there are polar bears at the South Pole and penguins at the North Pole.

As an aside, it’s a good thing we’re all civilized and scientific and shit or else there would be a proliferation of doomsday cults as in centuries past.

I once made fun of someone for saying they could use a flowerpot in a robbery.

I wuz wrong.

Guy with flower pot on head robs gas station with chainsaw

You have to respect crazy that strong.

IMPORTANT UPDATE!!!!!!!

I thought Olympic skiing was kind of boring this year.

I wuz wrong.

Via who else? The Jawas.

Or, hidden in plain sight.

 

 

Man, this shutdown stuff has me riled up. The last year or so has all been the same shit so I just haven’t been interested, so  an abbreviated round the tubes post.

First, The Emperor talks about a Fuck You Movement.  Hey, it worked in Italy. Remember Beppe Grillo?

A couple of visual aids.

First, it’s the anniversary of a much deserved dirt nap, via Babalu.

A Good Commie

A Good Commie

And via Moonbattery, your daily dose of Teh Funny.

milky-way-closed

Currently running through my head is the song, “I am the dirt beneath your feet” with the opening line “Do you really know that you’re a zero? You’re everything we expected O.”

Update, the song is below the fold. I can’t sing so it’s only lyrics. (more…)

Quote Of The Day

Posted: October 9, 2013 by veeshir in HAHAHAHAHAA!!!!, Hotassery

From FrnakJ (the figment of Harvey’s and Lactose’ imagination apparently)

OBAMA: “But if we don’t raise it, we’ll default! It will be a disaster!”

REPUBLICANS: “Like a sequester-sized disaster or a government shutdown-sized disaster or an actual problem?”

 

With a bwa and ha and ha ha ha.

Some more shutdown theater below the fold (more…)

Cops NPS!

Posted: October 8, 2013 by veeshir in HAHAHAHAHAA!!!!, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, Win!

“I just wanted one of them snowglobes you shake and the snow go over Lincoln’s head, I didn’t know nothing bout no shutdown”

Hi-fucking-larious even though it has a 40 second intro.

Via Harvey at IMAO. I just learned something there, FrnakJ is actually a figment of the imaginations of the co-bloggers and not the other way around.

 

Update: I think this guy did it, he deserves a link. That thing’s awesome. I’d watch it soon, I gotta wonder about copyright stuff on the vid.

 

Hoist On Their Own PETArd

Posted: September 16, 2013 by veeshir in Filthy Hippies, HAHAHAHAHAA!!!!, Teh Funneh, Win!

Update

Yeah, it’s satire and old.

So sue m….DPUD.

I’ve put the post below the fold, here’s an example of Obama’s Smart Slack Power!

1slackobama

 

Via Are We Lumberjacks (he never answers that question, it kind of pisses me off)

(more…)

Important probably not safe for work update below the fold. Via the Daily News, The X-Ray. Ugh.

 

Seriously?

Shocked doctors had to perform emergency surgery on a man in the Australian capital Canberra after he lodged a 10 centimetre (four-inch) steel fork inside his penis for sexual pleasure.

No, seriously?

The bizarre incident was considered so unusual that it was written up as a case report in a recent issue of the International Journal of Surgery.

I’ll bet.
According to the paper “An Unusual Urethral Foreign Body,”
Now there’s a conference that screams out for Dr. Sheldon Cooper PhD.
Every now and then we need a category for the opposite of hotassery.

I’m not saying these dudes are gay

Posted: August 13, 2013 by doubleplusundead in FAIL, HAHAHAHAHAA!!!!

...I’m just saying Buddy Cole probably knows them on a first name basis.

A drudgetaposition

DHS buying $9 million worth of guns from H&K and Sig

DHS hiring!

Now, I defended CPAC for not inviting people like Christie, but I am pretty upset about GOProud.

As Eric asks, Is Breitbart’s ghost uninvited?

Quoth Breitbart

“If being conservative means rejecting gay conservatives because they are gay, then fine, I’m not a conservative.”

It’s their party, but people afraid of gay cooties really need to get a grip. Everybody knows girls are where cooties come from.

Now, I hate trusting a Minitrue outlet, but I don’t think they’d actually alter a transcript, you never know but this feels right.

Boehner from ABC’s This (is) Weak

MARTHA RADDATZ: So, do you trust President Obama?

SPEAKER JOHN BOEHNER: Absolutely….. There’s no issue there. We have a very, very– good relationship.

Fuck.

But it gets better.

SPEAKER JOHN BOEHNER: We do not have an immediate debt crisis.

Double fuck.

SPEAKER JOHN BOEHNER: Well, I think– most people would think that I’m part of the common-sense caucus.

By “most people”, I assume he’s talking about his staff and GOP tools who hate wacko birds.

I could quote this fucking thing all day, but I’ll end on a hilarious note

SPEAKER JOHN BOEHNER:…The Senate is likely to finish their budget– after– the Easter recess.

Listen, there aren’t enough “ha”s in the world for that “bwa” so I don’t want to use them up on something so fucking stupid.  They’re already doing more continuing spending $trillions resolutions.  Those are much better than budgets, they don’t have deficit spending or earmarks. At least, everybody can pretend they don’t and really, that’s all that matters.

In Fuck You Minitrue News, a puppy blender link quoting The Hill. (I don’t link Minitrue if I can avoid it)

“A growing number of states are moving forward with legislation to exempt them from new federal gun controls and, in some cases, brand as criminals anyone who tries to enforce them. While many of the bills are considered symbolic or appear doomed to fail, the legislative explosion reflects a backlash against legislative and regulatory efforts in Washington to tamp down on gun violence.

Fuck you, it’s not about reducing gun violence, it’s about control, it’s about making citizens into subjects and you assholes know it, you just keep pushing your fucking view at every chance.

So what does it say when I see the ‘Justice” Dept. is investigating the Wall Street Journal and my first thought is, “How did they piss off Obama?”

said it had received information from a person it described as a whistleblower who claimed one or more Journal employees had provided gifts to Chinese government officials in exchange for information, according to people familiar with the case.

First, so fucking what? If they want to pay for information, why is that Obama’s….. oh yeah, Chinese bribes.

Nevermind.

Another Weasel Zippers link that would be fucking hilarious if it weren’t as we they were fucking with us over the SEQUESTER THAT’S GONNA KILL US ALL!!!!!.

The federal government is spending $227,437 to investigate how animals have been depicted in National Geographic magazine over a span of 120 years, which federal officials say is an “innovative study” that will examine “images of animals to see how people have changed their view of the natural world.”

… “Predators like wolves and coyotes have been consistently portrayed as a threat.

Gee, too bad they don’t make people think coyotes are all fluffy and friendly and stuff. I mean, who wouldn’t want their kids wanting to pet a vicious carnivore that’s one of the more opportunistic killers and lives in and near people areas? Sure jerks like my neighbor who lost his dog and chickens to the coyotes might be unhelpful about that, but that’s cuz he’s not as smart as bureaucrats in DC.

Okay, three more chucklers to end the day.

First, “Crazed Man Dressed As Vagina Shuts Down Pro-Life Speech” I will say, the story delivers on the headline. His mom isn’t very good at sewing.

Second, a little global warmmongering hilarity.

The estimates – given with 75 per cent and 95 per cent certainty – suggest only a five per cent chance of the real temperature falling outside both bands.

But when the latest official global temperature figures from the Met Office are placed over the predictions, they show how wrong the estimates have been, to the point of falling out of the ‘95 per cent’ band completely…

Do tell.

The funniest part, for me, is people scratching their heads and thinking that maybe other people who say the same phenomenon causes heat, cold, drought, floods, oyster herpes and the Earth exploding might just be making shit up.

And last, a quiz. I guaran-damn-tee nobody, and I mean nobody, gets the answer.

Who wrote this bit of poetry? (Link below so you can’t cheat, I took this from the middle because there are some words that might give a clue)

I am a supplicant for a goblet of wine
from the hand of a sweetheart.”

“O Friend, I have become captivated
by the mole over your lip.
I have seen your languid eyes
and I have become sick.”

“Place a strand of your wavy hair in my way.

In white ink, so you’ll have to highlight it.

Sayyid Ruhollah Mostafavi Musavi Khomeini

That’s right, the Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomenei,

As the author says

Apparently the same guy who issued a deadly fatwa against Salman Rushdie and his ‘Satanic verses’; the same guy who has written a mini guide for good Muslim pedophiles on how to have sexual pleasure from a baby among other atrocities;  has also written poetry on wine, love, taverns, drunkenness and languid eyes

Did you get it? Of course not.

Must have been his Paris days.