Man, this shutdown stuff has me riled up. The last year or so has all been the same shit so I just haven’t been interested, so an abbreviated round the tubes post.
A couple of visual aids.
First, it’s the anniversary of a much deserved dirt nap, via Babalu.
And via Moonbattery, your daily dose of Teh Funny.
Currently running through my head is the song, “I am the dirt beneath your feet” with the opening line “Do you really know that you’re a zero? You’re everything we expected O.”
Update, the song is below the fold. I can’t sing so it’s only lyrics. (more…)
From FrnakJ (the figment of Harvey’s and Lactose’ imagination apparently)
OBAMA: “But if we don’t raise it, we’ll default! It will be a disaster!”
REPUBLICANS: “Like a sequester-sized disaster or a government shutdown-sized disaster or an actual problem?”
With a bwa and ha and ha ha ha.
Some more shutdown theater below the fold (more…)
“I just wanted one of them snowglobes you shake and the snow go over Lincoln’s head, I didn’t know nothing bout no shutdown”
Hi-fucking-larious even though it has a 40 second intro.
Via Harvey at IMAO. I just learned something there, FrnakJ is actually a figment of the imaginations of the co-bloggers and not the other way around.
Update: I think this guy did it, he deserves a link. That thing’s awesome. I’d watch it soon, I gotta wonder about copyright stuff on the vid.
Important probably not safe for work update below the fold. Via the Daily News, The X-Ray. Ugh.
Shocked doctors had to perform emergency surgery on a man in the Australian capital Canberra after he lodged a 10 centimetre (four-inch) steel fork inside his penis for sexual pleasure.
The bizarre incident was considered so unusual that it was written up as a case report in a recent issue of the International Journal of Surgery.
According to the paper “An Unusual Urethral Foreign Body,”
...I’m just saying Buddy Cole probably knows them on a first name basis.
DHS buying $9 million worth of guns from H&K and Sig
Now, I defended CPAC for not inviting people like Christie, but I am pretty upset about GOProud.
As Eric asks, Is Breitbart’s ghost uninvited?
“If being conservative means rejecting gay conservatives because they are gay, then fine, I’m not a conservative.”
It’s their party, but people afraid of gay cooties really need to get a grip. Everybody knows girls are where cooties come from.
Now, I hate trusting a Minitrue outlet, but I don’t think they’d actually alter a transcript, you never know but this feels right.
Boehner from ABC’s This (is) Weak
MARTHA RADDATZ: So, do you trust President Obama?
SPEAKER JOHN BOEHNER: Absolutely….. There’s no issue there. We have a very, very– good relationship.
But it gets better.
SPEAKER JOHN BOEHNER: We do not have an immediate debt crisis.
SPEAKER JOHN BOEHNER: Well, I think– most people would think that I’m part of the common-sense caucus.
By “most people”, I assume he’s talking about his staff and GOP tools who hate wacko birds.
I could quote this fucking thing all day, but I’ll end on a hilarious note
SPEAKER JOHN BOEHNER:…The Senate is likely to finish their budget– after– the Easter recess.
Listen, there aren’t enough “ha”s in the world for that “bwa” so I don’t want to use them up on something so fucking stupid. They’re already doing more continuing spending $trillions resolutions. Those are much better than budgets, they don’t have deficit spending or earmarks. At least, everybody can pretend they don’t and really, that’s all that matters.
In Fuck You Minitrue News, a puppy blender link quoting The Hill. (I don’t link Minitrue if I can avoid it)
“A growing number of states are moving forward with legislation to exempt them from new federal gun controls and, in some cases, brand as criminals anyone who tries to enforce them. While many of the bills are considered symbolic or appear doomed to fail, the legislative explosion reflects a backlash against legislative and regulatory efforts in Washington to tamp down on gun violence.”
Fuck you, it’s not about reducing gun violence, it’s about control, it’s about making citizens into subjects and you assholes know it, you just keep pushing your fucking view at every chance.
So what does it say when I see the ‘Justice” Dept. is investigating the Wall Street Journal and my first thought is, “How did they piss off Obama?”
said it had received information from a person it described as a whistleblower who claimed one or more Journal employees had provided gifts to Chinese government officials in exchange for information, according to people familiar with the case.
First, so fucking what? If they want to pay for information, why is that Obama’s….. oh yeah, Chinese bribes.
Another Weasel Zippers link that would be fucking hilarious if it weren’t as we they were fucking with us over the SEQUESTER THAT’S GONNA KILL US ALL!!!!!.
The federal government is spending $227,437 to investigate how animals have been depicted in National Geographic magazine over a span of 120 years, which federal officials say is an “innovative study” that will examine “images of animals to see how people have changed their view of the natural world.”
… “Predators like wolves and coyotes have been consistently portrayed as a threat.
Gee, too bad they don’t make people think coyotes are all fluffy and friendly and stuff. I mean, who wouldn’t want their kids wanting to pet a vicious carnivore that’s one of the more opportunistic killers and lives in and near people areas? Sure jerks like my neighbor who lost his dog and chickens to the coyotes might be unhelpful about that, but that’s cuz he’s not as smart as bureaucrats in DC.
Okay, three more chucklers to end the day.
First, “Crazed Man Dressed As Vagina Shuts Down Pro-Life Speech” I will say, the story delivers on the headline. His mom isn’t very good at sewing.
Second, a little global warmmongering hilarity.
The estimates – given with 75 per cent and 95 per cent certainty – suggest only a five per cent chance of the real temperature falling outside both bands.
But when the latest official global temperature figures from the Met Office are placed over the predictions, they show how wrong the estimates have been, to the point of falling out of the ‘95 per cent’ band completely…
The funniest part, for me, is people scratching their heads and thinking that maybe other people who say the same phenomenon causes heat, cold, drought, floods, oyster herpes and the Earth exploding might just be making shit up.
And last, a quiz. I guaran-damn-tee nobody, and I mean nobody, gets the answer.
Who wrote this bit of poetry? (Link below so you can’t cheat, I took this from the middle because there are some words that might give a clue)
I am a supplicant for a goblet of wine
from the hand of a sweetheart.”
“O Friend, I have become captivated
by the mole over your lip.
I have seen your languid eyes
and I have become sick.”
“Place a strand of your wavy hair in my way.
In white ink, so you’ll have to highlight it.
Sayyid Ruhollah Mostafavi Musavi Khomeini
That’s right, the Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomenei,
As the author says
Apparently the same guy who issued a deadly fatwa against Salman Rushdie and his ‘Satanic verses’; the same guy who has written a mini guide for good Muslim pedophiles on how to have sexual pleasure from a baby among other atrocities; has also written poetry on wine, love, taverns, drunkenness and languid eyes
Did you get it? Of course not.
Must have been his Paris days.
SALTY LANGUAGE WARNING
Details here. Thank you, Milton Tingling.
Oh, who am I kidding? By then, we’ll have long since run out of electricity:
A January study by the American Petroleum Institute listed California’s gas taxes as second highest in the nation behind New York. After the July 1 tax increase, however, the 70.1 cents average tax per gallon will lead the nation.
Prices for regular gas in California are already among the highest in the nation. On Wednesday, the average price for a regular gallon of gas was $4.238, up from $3.69 a month ago. California’s prices are second only to Hawaii, the Auto Club reported.
This is basically happening because the Democrat-controlled legislature decided back in 2010 that they wanted to get their grubby little hands on money normally used for road projects, so they lowered the sales tax on gas but boosted the excise tax. How does this all work? Well, if this were a horror movie, you would be screaming at the screen because the characters were about to do something incredibly foolish that would get them all brutally murdered…
An excise tax is a tax on an individual product purchased, not based on the price. The publicly elected Board of Equalization must set the rate each year by March 1 so that the state generates the same amount of tax revenue it would have had it remained under the previous sales-tax system.
Dun Dun DHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!
Taxable sales of gasoline in California have fallen from 15.9 billion gallons in fiscal year 2006 to 14.6 billion gallons in fiscal year 2012.
Yeah, you read that right. Nobody can afford to buy a product, so the brain trust that runs the state has set up the system so that taxes on that product have to go up. Cue the “Real Men of Genius” theme song.
The rest of you can go ahead and laugh, but you should probably bear in mind that this is likely a chilling glimpse of things to come in a country full of people stupid enough to re-elect Barack Obama.