Archive for the ‘Hotassery’ Category

Says Ted Cruz.

Har dee har har har.


Now, I know most of you won’t click that, even though you should. I almost did myself, so I’ll relate what others might have heard if they clicked vids not containing hot little Japanese girls in teddies.

So of course the Senate runs on trust, they trust each other to not get all litigious over each other’s felonious behavior.


“That we don’t lie to each other.”, 

they lie to him because he feels he represents the people who elected him and not himself, the We’re Better And Smarter Than You Party has to lie to me, and therefore him because he would tell me the truth. Duh.

“…Was there a deal?”

The answer to that is never “Yes”, it’s always “Of course there’s a deal!”

Idealism is great, but that shows a profound disregard  for recent (as in, the last 10 years) history.


…makes an explicit promise… I cast my vote….assume that when the majority leader spoke to 54 GOP senators that he wasn’t lying to us. …It became agundantly clear that there was a deal…

I will note to the public the Majority Leader and the Speaker of the House have repeatedly said…”we made no deal.”…. a number of weeks ago…the Iran review act…..I filed an amendment that would…by requiring….before sanctions were lifted….Senator Marco Rubio called for an amendment…..on the Dem side of the Aisle did not want to vote….the Majority Leader called off all amendments….”


Geez, it’s as if he thinks the people who elected him have a say in how he votes?!?!?!?!?!?!

He calls Harry Reid a whiny bitch and immediately says McConnell is acting like the Dem Majority Leader.

Then he notes that McConnell called up an amendment after blocking everybody else’s amendment.


“…we (Teh Peepul) keep winning elections and then we keep getting leaders who don’t do anything they promise…”


From Nancy Pelosi draining the corrupt swamp to Mitch McConnell lying so much that Cruz is taking almost 20 minutes to detail many of his lies but Cruz could go on for hours. We’ve been profoundly lied to by the leadership of both Houses of Congress for a long damn time.


“the Majority Leader looked me in the eye…a flat out lie…. was a simple lie.”


Nobody except people the, I’d guess, fewer than 100,000 who read righty blogs and our fine Minitrue Betters will know about this, the rest of America is still worried about what Caitlyn Jenner is doing about its wang.

And that’s why we’re boned.

Below the Fold, An Important Critical And Well Deserved Update!!!!!!



Pretty funny.

In the first major speech of her scandal-plagued presidential campaign, Democrat Hillary Clinton explicitly raised the issue of sexual assault on college campuses.

Wait for it….. wait for it……

Thanks to her husband’s actions as president and as the governor of Arkansas, Hillary is no stranger to the sexual assault scourge.

You know, from the supply side of sexual assault. .

The only freude we’re getting these days is schaden.

Since this post is about ladyparts, some feminist poetry about lady parts below the fold.


It Would Take A Miracle

Posted: March 25, 2015 by veeshir in Hotassery, Random Crap

While we’re waiting for Miracle Max, since we’re leaving stuff up here for a long time I figure it should be something important, something classy. Something that upholds all the values of this blo….wait, that’s not right.

It needs to be childish, stupid and have tits.


Which Cartoon Character Would You Be For A Day?

Rather, which would be your second choice? as I’m disqualifying Roger Rabbit from consideration.

Why? He’s zany, wacky, can’t be killed and

jessica gif

Yeah. I’d spend the day fucking like a rabbit.

So, which would it be?

Now, the cartoon character I’d most like to hang out with is obviously Bugs Bunny, assuming of course that he doesn’t treat me like Elmer Fudd, but which would I want to be?

Characters like Homer, Bender, Peter Griffin and others of their ilk would be fun. I mean, what none-self-respecting moron wouldn’t like to be able to do absolutely any crazy drunken thing and come out okay? I decided against it because that’s pretty much my life anyway.

The Tasmanian Devil would be cool, so long as you’re not messing with Bugs.

Super Heroes would be fun at first but I don’t want to spend the whole day saving the freaking world and, to quote Mr. Incredible, sometimes you just wish it would stay saved.

Being a guy, I could have a blast being Yacko or Wacko, sorta like Bugs but less cerebral. If I were a Wymyns I would probably like to be Dot, all pretty, petite and ready to kick ass, but I passed on them. Too obvious.

Who else?………..

Hannah Barbera has their moments, but pass. I don’t want to spend my day stuck in a pet shop window.

Tennessee Tuxedo could be fun, what with all the time travelling and learning, but you’d have to hang out with Chumley. Duuuuuuh gee Tennessee, What are we going to do today?

Me and Mr. Whoopee are going to fucking kill you.

I almost went with a super villain like Dr. Doom or the Brain. How much fun would it be to spend a day trying to take over the world? A hell of a lot, that’s how much. But then I figured with my luck it would be the day I lose to my arch-nemesis.

But I finally went with a surprise, random pick.

Stoney Curtis!

stoney curtis


Because Betty and Wilma swooned over him and I would love to have a threesome with those two.


Getting my rocks off.

And don’t tell me Tony Curtis is gay, I don’t care, Stoney Curtis is not. He’s a cartoon character. The only cartoon character that’s gay, as everyone who watched Soap knows, is Pluto.

Below the fold, pics of Pluto being gay.


Above the post observational update!!!!!!

First, why is everybody talking about the Sony deal as a cyberterrorists when they threatened to kill Americans who went to theaters showing this?

I mean, it was bad when they went after Sony folks cyberterroristically, but then they changed to Hezbollah/IRA terrorism of just killing people. That’s not cyber, that’s terrorism.

Second, did I just see Charles Krauthammer say we needed to give the gov’t vast, sweeping powers and trust them and then, even crazier, Mara Liasson disputed that? Yes, yes I did. And so did you if you were watching the 6:30 panel (4:30 MT time).

I thought the Judge was going to blow his stack but he was far more calm than Charles’ statement deserved.


Okay, that’s funny.

…caught her husband and twin cheating on her and followed them to a shopping centre using a mobile phone tracker.

She went to find husband Cheng, 30, who was completely naked in a car along with her sister.

Wait for it…..wait for it…..

they both jumped out of the car with not a thread of clothing.

But Ting saw her opportunity, jumped into the car and drove off


Via the only ‘stan that’s not actively trying to kill us, SondraKi.

Now, some funny endineness from Liberal Logic 101

This one is infuriatingly endy but kinda funny, in a horrific way.


That’s all about teh fucked up. Cuz it’s true.

Next, we have the next one.

content 2

Bingo, bango, bongo.

Although to be fair, lunatics don’t even have to get near a tea party event to be connected to the Tea Party (like that crazy loon who killed the conservative judge and shot the lefty gun-grabber in AZ).

Last, but not least in its endy funniness, is something that people as little as 30 years ago would think you were a loon for saying it would happen.

content 3


All three utterly unfunny because they’re true.


Below the fold, via one of the greatest web pages in the universe, Giphy, a wonderful gif.


Important Update Below!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is hilarious.

You know who the big winner was in last week’s election?

No, not the GOP, this is a minitrue outlet after all.

The big winner was Hillary Clinton, that’s who.

Yes, I am all too aware that a few candidates who were given the Clinton stamp of approval—complete with multiple campaign appearances by Bill and Hillary—went down in flames.


You see, just because Arkansas switched to GOP in a way that hasn’t happened since the Civil War doesn’t mean a thing, The fact that the people she campaigned for lost is immaterial. In this world the Dems are always winning, and if they lose? That’s because you’re too stupid to realize they won.

He blames it on Obama, but ignores that Hillary! failed miserably in her bid to be a power broker.


Battlespace preparation or just a true believer truly believing?

A little from column A and a little from column B I figure.

I do expect us to see Minitrue explaining how Hillary! will fix everything Obama’s done because she’s just so politically astute and totally not an unlikable, cold, calculating liar.


An Important, Classical Music Interlude!!!!!!!!


Rock me Amadeus.

It’s funny, I always thought Carl W. Stalling wrote that.

Via the Jawas

It’s either make a post or let the spammers take over. I can’t delete comments from any posts but my own, DPUD might have let me post here but he’s not fucking stupid.

So some stuff that’s happening.

First, if the 2016 GOP race boils down to Jeb Bush V Mitt Romney, we be boned harder and put away wetter.


Oliver Willis saying something stupid.  If I cared enough about him I’d have a macro for that.

He said something about how Muslims are the peaceful ones because Crusades.

I have never understood how people can whine for and allow Muslims to whine about the Crusades and not point and laugh.

The Muslims invaded the Holy Lands so the Christians replied, the Muslims won (the Temple Mount is now a mosque for instance).

So in other words, Muslims started a conflict, won it and now they’re whining about it.

Fuck em.

This is high-larious with a capital ENDY.

So as Obama has been ignoring Christians being hung, beheaded, crucified, tortured, enslaved and chased from their homes by ISIS, who is helping them?

Hezbollah is believed to be arming Christian groups affiliated with the Free Patriotic Movement (FPM) in villages east of Saida under the pretext of thwarting an Islamic State (ISIS) threat i

Fucking Hezbollah is treating Christians better than the US.

Anybody who disputes that things are funny and endy out there should re-read that sentence.


Speaking of Hezbollah, they’re showing Jihad Envy.

Comparing Hezbollah to Isis.

As the data show, ISIS is believed to have more fighters than Hezbollah, and to enjoy more abundant finances. This is in part a result of the vast territory it controls – perhaps 10 times as much as Hezbollah does – in which over half a dozen lucrative oil fields are at its disposal.

There’s a chart, it’s interesting.


Catalonia independence is chugging along.

The president of Spain’s powerful northeastern region of Catalonia on Saturday formally called an independence referendum,

If that goes through, look for the Basque to do the same.  Spain isn’t quite the stable country it looks at first, Portugal already broke off, now they could lose more. That would be interesting as ‘Spain has a 3-sided civil war.


Last but not least, Tsar Putin I is warning EUnuchs on Ukraine.

Alexei Miller, head of Russia’s top natural gas producer Gazprom, has warned of possible disruptions of Russian gas flows to Europe via Ukraine next winter,…

His comments, aired on Saturday by Russian state-owned TV channel Rossiya-24, a day after European Commission-brokered gas talks in Berlin, may indicate Moscow and Kiev are far from completely resolving their differences over conditions for gas supplies to Ukraine.

Tsar Putin I is letting the EUnuchs know that the dust-up with Ukraine is going to affect EUnuchstan so they would be smart to help Imperial Russia in their doings with one of their rebellious provinces.


I keep forgetting about China’s war in the South China Sea, here we see Indonesia is getting upset with China.

That makes it Indonesia, Philippines, Japan and Vietnam against China there. Should be interesting.


In global worming news, here we have Kate Upton in Antarctica and not an erect nipple to be seen.

Maybe Al Gore was right.

The old question, is Obama’s fecklessness maliciousness or incompetence?

Me? I figure on domestic issues it’s maliciousness, in international affairs he’s far too ignorant for it to be anything but incompetence.


As if to just disprove my point, this new tack  is maliciousness,

Obama Administration Threatens Israel Over Criticism of Kerry’s Peace Deal

But…that’s not really foreign policy, that’s about being pissed off someone is pointing out his and J Effin Kerry’s incompetent ignorance.


Via our second favorite weasels, Zippers, his ain’t new, Global Warmmongers know all about flaming irony.

Thousands gather at Rabin Square to call for return to dialog, but disperse early as Gaza rocket-fire resumes


Nice touch.

Well this is new.

As European diplomats prepare to meet on July 29, signs are emerging that the European Union is finally moving towards the consensus needed for tougher measures against Russian President Vladimir Putin to punish his war against Ukraine.


Wait, I’d bet that’s old. Wishful thinking is very old. Why do I say that?

Ukraine has, so far, continued to send gas to EU member states through the pipelines that cross its territory.


That’s why. What happens when Tsar Putin I raises prices to pay for the sanctions?

Veeshir laughs, that’s what. I’m kind of  a dick though.

Via Paco, an old event in a new light.

people's cube haha

Everything old is new again.


This site is new to me.

It’s a pretty cool site that’s sort of artsy-fartsy in a millenial sort of way, so I expected it to be reflexively lefty.

Not new is that I was wrong.

ka-ching border


They’re even on the side of civilization against the new barbarians. I did not expect that. As I saw the top of that post I was expecting exactly the opposite reaction.

Also not new? Driving up the hit count via hotassery.