They’re not all bad…
Archive for the ‘Hotassery’ Category
2
Only one link, I doubt anybody will notice it anyway.
Via Say Uncle (who I didn’t h/t earlier) we see Fun With Headlines.
Actual Headline: Dad finds loaded gun, ammo near MTSU campus
Accurate Headline: Drunk finds Police Officer’s utility belt, complete with all equipment, in ditch.
There are more, I don’t want to steal the whole post.
*Yeah, it’ an hour early. Shouldn’t you be looking at some hotassery?
Round the Tubes: Getting Mah Teh Funny Back!
Posted: March 5, 2013 by veeshir in China, Exploding things, FAIL, Fun with Elections, Fun With Media, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP FAIL, Hotassery, Jitardis, Liberal Fascism, Mideast Madness, Moron of the Day, Nanny State, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's FaultI tried yesterday, but I was forcing it, it just wasn’t funny. But this morning I got a good belly laugh. I’ll save that story for a while.
Let’s start in Iraq. Remember how we overthrew the Ba’athist Party (like Ba’al worship but with more baby killing) in Iraq?
As many as 40 Syrian soldiers and government employees have been killed by unidentified gunmen in Iraq.
They were among a group of Syrian nationals who crossed the border into Iraq to escape a Syrian rebel attack last week.
Iraqi officials were escorting the group to the Syrian border when they came under fire in the town of Akashat in Anbar province.
Authorities say a number of Iraqi soldiers were also killed in the ambush.
So are we allies with Syria now as J Effin Kerry is offering money to the people fighting them? Obama does like to fight both sides of any conflict (except against me).
In boy-fucking savage news, Obama’s partners for peace are helping Pakistani soldiers be all peaceful.
The Movement of the Taliban in Pakistan released a videotape on the fighting in the Mehsud areas of South Waziristan which includes graphic footage of the mutilation of several Pakistani soldiers who appear to have been killed in a firefight last summer
First, you have to admit that it’s kind of funny that the same boy-fucking, murderous, torturers who love to mutilate…well everybody and everything got their turbans in a bunch when some Marines pissed on their dead.
Also, I finally figured something out, when Taliban types say Religion of Peace, they mean “peaceful as the grave”, I feel so stupid I never figured that out before.
I call bullshit on this, but you have to respect the idiocy.
An Israeli soldier desecrated a Quran when he kicked it during a [religious] teaching workshop in the Al-Aqsa Mosque courtyards, and hit female students participating in the workshop,
Wait, no you don’t. Another example of exporting our values, we all know Minitrue just makes shit up to attack their enemies (me).
But you’d think that people who have set rules for how to beat the women they own would think of something other to accuse Israel of. Eh, it makes them murderously happy, so that’s all that matters.
Intellesting, the Norks have said they’re not abiding by the cease-fire.
North Korea warned it will cancel the Korean War cease-fire agreement on March 11
Apcray, there are two things wrong with that. First, where’s fucking McArthur when you need him?
Second, I turn 50 later on this month and I have a bunch of bets riding on me making it to 50 (you wouldn’t believe the odds I got 30 years ago), how fucking much would it suck if I lost that bet because the fucking Norks KILL US ALL!!!!!!!?
Eh, that’s all the overseas links I have. Let’s go back to America! My favorite country, it’s where I keep all my shit.
First, I can’t decide if this is funny, very funny, or endishly funny.
Jeb Bush has been making the rounds, calling me a racist hater who hates me some immigrants.
“It relates to this question of, we want your vote but we really don’t want you (asians V) on our team.”
Eh, standard Bush fare after all. Just cuz it’s lefties attacking McConnell for his slant-eyed wife, we all know the GOP is where the racism is.
This is where where You Make The Call!, this is the part I mean.
Bush, who would be a leading contender for the 2016 GOP presidential nomination if he chooses to run
A leader for the GOP nomination? I guess, if the GOP has decided they just don’t want anybody but the establishment to vote GOP next election. I would think he’s more likely to be running on another party’s ticket.
I was just thinking about how hilarious it would be if we went Bush-Clinton-Bush-Obama-Bush, with the twist at the end that Bush III runs as a Dem!
Think about it, Obama is not going to make Bush’ mistake, he’s going to jettison Biden before his last year so he can have an electable VP to run (Or he’s going to try to run a third time, but I’m not into that paranoia yet), so why not Bush? It’s so fucking hilariously infuriating that it just might happen!
In more, “We have no idea what the fuck is going on” GOP news, we read this,
The National Republican Senatorial Committee plans to expand its press operation to train campaigns earlier in the cycle on how to better handle the kind of candidate missteps that have plagued its party’s nominees.
The goal? To avoid what’s become known in GOP circles as “Todd Akin moments.”
You idiots want to avoid a “moment”? How about you avoid a McCain/Graham moment?
Nahhhh, they know how to win elections. Let’s be Dem lite! People like Dems, they’ll like Dem Lite even more! It’s worked so well the last two presidential elections!
As we all know, the Menendez deal is All About Sex(tm), so the Wash Post found some hooker to say, “I lied about Menendez”. So the Daily Caller notices, Hey, that’s the wrong hooker! A problem though, the Wash Post isn’t likely to post corrections, you can’t make a story All About Sex(tm) if you keep confusing people with corrections. And the few tens of thousands of people who will see the Daily Caller link? They’re just Tea Bagging assholes who can be safely ignored.
A little WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!! from the sequester news.
First, just cuz they’re going to be furloughing a billion gov’t workers doesn’t mean they need to stop hiring critical workers.
Agriculture Department said it needs three “insect production workers” to help grow bollworms in Phoenix.
You have to admit, that’s a nice touch.
At first glance this will make Radley Balko happy. The Navy is getting out of the war on drugs.
U.S. Navy frigates will stop patrolling for drug runners by April because of forced sequestration budget cuts
Until he realizes that it will just mean domestic law-enforcement will just have to spend more time and energy kicking down old ladies’ doors to shoot them and their little dogs too.
Sean at the NC Gun Blog (he of the NYS Boycott,) also writes about various gun-related things in his area, like this choir-boy who was shot. But that’s not why I’m linking, I’m linking for the rap sheet Sean linked. Fucking guy kept being convicted of various crimes (including multiple, felon with a gun charges) and the only sentence he served fully was a 90 day sentence. He had one sentence that was a mininum of 16 months and a maximum of 20 months. He served 5.
Less than 1/3 of what they claimed was the “miniumum” for a felon who was caught for repeatedly breaking gun laws. But if some poor fool in NYS puts more than 7 rounds in his 10/22 magazine as he’s terrorizing some tin cans, he’ll go to jail for just as long or longer.
I did learn something from that boycott, Vltor is pronounce “Ultor”, they use the Roman U. So when you call them “Ultor” you’ll have the satisfaction of some tool correcting you and snottily saying, “It’s V-L Tor”.
In Notes On Crushing the Revolution, we see Missouri working with DHS to start a nice, registration scheme.
It’s as if there’s a rush to see who can spark the revolution.
In, It Sure Is A Good Thing Obama Is So Weakened He Won’t Be Able To Nominate Unfit Judges news, we see Kagan and Sotomayor acting as we expect lefties to act. Making up their minds long before they hear the facts of the case and browbeating anybody and everybody who disagrees with them. It’s too long to excerpt, read the whole thing if you have a problem getting started in the morning and you’re out of coffee or Red Bull.
This one makes me laugh. We’re going to have THE HIGHEST TAX REVENUE EVAH!!!!!!!!!!! this year, according to projections that ignore reality. Repeat after me, the CBO’s projections are wishful thinking piled on an ignorance of reality. I look forward to articles next year that talk about how low tax receipts are. When Bush cut taxes we had high tax receipts, when people raise taxes, what they take in goes down. I’d suggest you ask NY and CA pols about that, but they just can’t figure that out even after decades of watching it happen.
In hopeful news, Texas outlaws drones taking pictures. (they make it clear the camera-vehicle is unmanned).
That’s a slashdot link, they seem to think it’s directed at people like them taking pictures on other’s land, probably. But it’s also directed at the gov’t, they include satellites, so it’s for google and the gov’t.
It’s about being private on your own land. I’m all in favor of that. When I get my compound in the desert, it’s gonna have tank traps and AA, so I kind of hope they send their Cox Skyspy/Skybomber to my land.
In very surprising news, Christians are now the most oppressed religion in the world. I’d guess that’s because all the places that really hate the Jews have either killed them all or driven them out.
Enough of the endy, let’s get to the funny. There are just so many today you’d better take a big sip of your coffee now. I’ll wait.
I occasionally take Lindsey Lohan (tits, hey google!) in S. Weasel’s Dead Pool, saying, “She’ll be found floating in Charlie Sheen’s pool”.
Charlie Sheen has already paid a portion of Lindsay Lohan’s taxes, and now he’s offering to officially be her mentor,
Stoaty’s next Dead Pool starts Friday, so none of you take my pick!
Via i Own the World (then fix it!), we find a story that saddens me.
A popular horse show in Ocala is under quarantine after six cases of equine herpesvirus were linked to the Marion County showground.
Okay, which one of you has been to Florida lately? I haven’t been there in two years.
Via Zilla at Batshit Crazy News, we find this bit of catshit crazy news.
I’m Nala. 20 years old. Cis, vegan, multiracial, bisexual, demisexual, pagan, plural, catkin, (emphasis added V)witch.
My preferred pronouns are: chim, chimself, cher, cherself, che, chi.
She’s a cat trapped in a human’s body.
Seriously, I would love to go back to 1958 and try to explain this century. You know they’d all say, “See? We told you Rock and Roll would destroy America!” and I wouldn’t be able to argue. I mean, look at what it did to the 80s?
Harvey at IMAO channels his inner Joe Biden (I figure by repeated blows to the head), and continues Slo Joe’s Field and Stream interview. What makes it either very fucking funny or not funny at all is that it’s hard to tell Harvey’s post from the Field and Stream interview.
JOE BIDEN: Well, that’s true Joe. And, you know I keep hearing this malarkey about how Barack and I want to take your guns away and, frankly, I don’t know how this stuff gets started. Listen to me! Listen to what I say here! No one, I mean no one is coming to take your guns! People, get real here!
LIBERAL INTERVIEWER: So then, what exactly are you and the president calling for?
JOE BIDEN: What Barack is proposing has nothing to do with the Second Amendment. And, let me say this again! No one is coming to take your guns. All we’re proposing is just much needed, common sense legislation that will make it a federal offense for a private citizen to own a firearm.
Heh. Sort of. I guess.
Wait, that’s not fucking funny at all!
And the big finish. Stop cheering you jerks.
Via Doug Ross, we see this cop blog from Chicago getting all hilarious.
The city is so short of cars that they are handling out “rentals” to detectives and to sergeants working VRI! Chevy Impalas with NO emergency equipment.
With this comment making me laugh, but many of the comments are awesome.
Yes it is true, in the D unit anyway. We have a car with some BS lights but no siren. It would make a lot more sense to give the bosses the “non police” rental cars and trickle down their unmarkeds to us. That will never happen though because they’ve “earned” their take home police cars!!
I can understand why they’re short on cop cars, I saw this high-speed pursuit on, I think, Foxnews the other day where they wrecked like hundreds of cop cars chasing two guys in black suits.
I mentioned “tits”, so you know what that means! Pictures of titlarks below the fold! Just don’t tell cher, che might come and eat them.
Round the Tubes, I’m Not The One Who Took That Gif Off the Top
Posted: March 3, 2013 by veeshir in China, Exploding things, Filthy Hippies, Fun With Media, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP FAIL, Green Goofs, Hotassery, Jitardis, Liberal Fascism, Mideast Madness, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, Transportation Stupidity AssholesEdition.
If I were her, that’s what I would do all day too.
Not sure why I bother posting anything after that, but what the hell.
Actually, this is an easy post, if I piss people off nobody will notice, not even the 4 people who actually read the posts.
First, let’s go to EUnuchstan.
Last week we saw the EUnuchs saying the problem in the Middle East is them dam, dirty, Jews. This week they’re saying, “Sorry”.
No, not that they said that, that people found out they were saying that. That was only for upper-class EUnuchstanian Oligarchs to know about.
The EUnuchs are really not happy about Italy’s election and the hits keep hitting.
That article explains how the guy whose party’s platform is to not work with anybody is the new Mussolini! (fascism is based on ‘fasces”, bundles of sticks, i.e. working together).
The stand-up comedian Beppe Grillo, like the fascist dictator Benito Mussolini before him, has a craving to take over the piazza and mesmerise the crowd.
They then list a whole bunch of other ‘similarities’, but they leave out the most damning. They both speak Italian!
That story is absolutely correct about everything.
Check that. It’s only correct in the spelling of his name. For instance, they call it the “Vaffa” Day Protests instead of the Vaffanculo Day Protests. Vaffa does not mean the same thing, they call them the “Fuck Off” protests instead of the “Fuck you up your ass” protest. Perhaps a subtle difference, but one anybody with an ass should be able to see.
That was what I had to weed my way through last week to find a story that didn’t make up obvious stuff.
Some Italy stuff that’s not full of shit.
During these elections, all that’s wrong with Italian politics in the last 20 years has finally caught up to us. The government’s relationship — and lack of communication — with the Italian people has led to an unprecedented height of pure electoral protest.
Yup. I just hope we can go the same route and not the route our social, moral, political and intellectual betters seem to be hell bent on going down.
This is the seqway from EUnuchstan to other continents! It’s like a segue, but phonetically spelled. The Italians are trying to do some furrin aid, but being Italians they’re not just giving money.
Italians teach locals in Burkina Faso both the recipe for pizza, and the formula for a successful small business.
As they say, buy a man a pizza and you feed him for a football game. Teach him how to make a pizza and drunks will try to give him money at 3 in the morning.
More Africa, This one is funny on a few levels. As we know, Egyptians are pretty much just protesting everything, here we have soccer fans protesting John Kerry leaving their country.
Hundreds of Egyptian football fans blocked a main road to Cairo’s international airport on Sunday, forcing a delay in visiting US Secretary of State John Kerry’s departure
You’d think they’d protest him entering the country plus, I can only assume that Kerry, being French and a eunuch, would like soccer. Eh, they’re happy so that’s all that matters.
What continent is Lebanon on? Asia, right? Well, whatever, it’s a transitional spot so let’s go there.
They’re actually starting to fight back against Hezbollah.
Sunni Sheikh Ahmad al-Assir expressed his willingness to militarily protect himself and his followers from Hezbollah members allegedly stationed near his Sidon mosque.
It’s a good time for that, what with Hezbollah sending so many of their terrorist north to aid Assad kill Syrians.
I’d bet Mossad is watching and I gotta figure they’re helping, when jihadi fights jihadi, Israel is happy.
Iran’s in Asia right? So let’s continue our way across that continent. That article is about the players in some Iranian, faux-election that allows EUnuchs and John Effin Kerry (BIRM) to pretend they’re elected.
It’s not all that important, in other words, I’m just linking to it because of their continued use of “Right wing”, they do it for a few candidates.
Saeed Jalili
His name was mentioned as a potential right-wing candidate,
WTF does that mean? Is he for lower taxes and decreasing the size of gov’t or is he Hitler or is he not close enough to Hitler? I figure it just means, “He’s bad”, so another example of exporting our values! Right wingers=Bad.
Now let’s seg our way to China.
Apparently, one, two, three, four, let’s have a currency war!
Now I understand I have very little idea how economics works (I have to take the dollar signs off to make change), but China is a shithole country that would be even shittier without foreign exchange.
We can survive without them, we’ll just have to buy toys that don’t kill our kids but at a higher price, they’ll have to sell their shitty, toxic, junk to each other.
While we’re boned economically, the rest of the world is exponentially more boned. Especially commie nations where they make up their numbers and nobody really has any idea what the fuck is going on. (See, Russia 1989).
That’s enough of THEY’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!, let’s try a little WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!
A little drudgetaposition.
TSA’s hiring freeze, sequestrially-caused, will increase lines for waiting to be groped.
TSA expands groping to RRs, roads, waterways, ports, the hallway between your bedroom and the bathroom, etc.
TSA related, they explain how what you saw in that video last week wasn’t what you saw. They were respectful and all you assholes saying otherwise are liars, you’d better arrive at the airport at least 36 hours ahead of your flight if they know who you are (and they do).
A week or two ago I talked about how it was good that two innocent people who were shot by bad guys didn’t have guns or there might have been a gun-fight. I thought I was joking.
A Florida high school student wrestled a loaded gun away from another teen (who was aiming at another studentV) on the bus ride home this week and was slapped with a suspension in return. (due to being involved in a gun-related incident V)
Tar, feathers, a rail and a few baseball bats seem required. Heinlein saved his worst vitriol for school boards but I never understood that until I was in my 30s. I went to Catholic School so they didn’t have school boards.
See? This is one of the reasons I get so fucking pissed off about “Standing“. I can’t sue the gov’t for saying they have the right to kill me with their RC air force, but Masshole pols are making sure that animal “rights” idjits can sue hunters and dog owners for hunting and dog owning.
Fuck. Eco-wackos can sue all and sundry over their religion, but I can’t sue the feds for saying they can kill me.
Speaking of the RC armada,
The U.S. Department of Homeland Security has customized its Predator drones, originally built for overseas military operations, to carry out at-home surveillance tasks that have civil libertarians worried: identifying civilians carrying guns and tracking their cell phones, government documents show.
So when you’re drone hunting….skeet shooting, turn off your phone and remove the battery. As for knowing I’m armed, well, it’s gonna find that out anyway.
So the conservatives in the GOP have a plan.
Remember when I said that we weren’t going to see a budget just another continuing resolution that’s totally not a bloated budget full of earmarks?
The draft continuing resolution (CR) assumes the sequester, set to begin cutting government spending by $85 billion on Friday, is left in place, which conservatives see as a way to reduce deficits.
Looking better and better all the time (or rather, worse and worse).
Fuck.
High-fucking-larious. Obama’s job approval is going down! That’s super-duper important!!!!!!! There’s no way he’s going to be re-elected next Novem…..wait, that doesn’t mean shit.
He never cared about his popularity, he only cared about making his opponents look worse. Now he doesn’t even have to give a shit about that.
Some humor.The first one is anti-climatic.
Via Gateway Pundit, we see my favorite global warmmongering idjits.
The ones who so totally believe their religion that they go to the North or South Pole bringing extra sunscreen and a bathing suit(warning, unsafe, yellow-journalism, Minitrue sub-outlet at Wash Post).
So this tool went to Antarctica to highlight global worming and
British explorer Ranulph Fiennes on Monday pulled out of an expedition to cross Antarctica during the region’s winter after developing frostbite (emphasis mine V)
Global warmmongers really just are fucking clueless about reality.
Added later: isn’t Antarctica in the southern hemisphere? Isn’t it summer there when it’s winter here? So it’s summer there and not winter, right? I’d bet that whichever Winston Smith they had working on that article put that in to make it seem as if it’s supposed to be colder
I’ve been reading this guy off and on for years. He used to have a faux-commie blog that confused people so he moved to War Planner. It’s a cool blog on military stuff usually, here he goes for Teh Funny.
This asshole looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, “Is that Corona or Bud?”
I said, “There’s a tap underneath; taste it and find out.”
—-
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, “If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you’d look all right.”
I told her, “If I did that, I’d be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”
—-
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.
“Really” she said, “Go on then…try.”
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said.
“Come on, what day was I born”?
I said, “Yesterday.”
—-
I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
(Why does it seem so much worse to be peeing like that instead of doing it while you’re in the pool?V)
—-
I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.
I said, “Nice legs.”
The girl giggled and said with a smile, “Do you really think so.”
I said “Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now. “
Have fun folks, but not too much fun, cuz the more fun we have the more likely WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!
Tubes and Boobs
Posted: March 2, 2013 by veeshir in Democratic morality, Exploding things, FAIL Britannia!, Fun with Elections, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Green Goofs, Hotassery, Lame, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, PEBKAC, True Heroes, Win!, WTF Is Wrong With Denver, You'll pry 'em from my cold dead hands
Now that I have your attention, let’s go to the boobs!
So a few years ago Tsar Putin I had a guy named Litvinenko killed in London using some sort of radioactive stuff in a needle. So the Brits decided to get tough and investigate it!
The results will stay secret. (Grauniad link, I had my choice of BBC, NY Times of the Grauniad, sorry).
Shit, those wimpy boobs in the Brit gov’t ar….damn that’s one fanfastic fucking gif up there.
Lest we think Britain is totally useless, check this out.
A GRANDAD whose house was pelted with stones by a schoolboy was NICKED and FINED after frogmarching him to his parents for a telling-off.
See? They’re not totally useless, they’re totally fucking useless!
In non-boob news, Columbia teaches us how to negotiate with terrorists.
Colombian government forces have killed a FARC brigade commander close to the Marxist group’s chief peace negotiator
Now that’s how you do it. FARC ceased their cease fire so the Columbians started killing them again. Nice.
The Holocaust Just Got More Shocking
No you idiots, all it does is illustrate beyond a shadow of a doubt that those Germans who claimed “I didn’t know!!!” were lying sacks of shit. Just like anybody with a brain already knew.
I have a hard time watching some war movies and not wishing we had perfected the bomb 2 years earlier. Especially in the Band of Brothers when they find the camp and Germans pretend they had no idea what was happening in that horrible place.
Damn, everybody wants to be where the revolution starts.
Brophy points to a section of the bill that defines a high-capacity magazine as one capable of accepting or — that can be readily converted — to accept more than 15 rounds or eight shotgun shells.
That’s just about every pump-action shotgun, you can put a mag extender on them so they’re illegal even without doing so.
So that’s why Biden was pushing double-barrels.
I know, I’m banging my chubby fists on the high-chair again, but….
Jonah Goldberg is upset they’re not inviting Christie to CPAC,
Oh, and he parroted the gun-control line and flip-flopped on accepting a federal bribe to accept Obamacare funding to expand Medicaid.
He thinks they need a big tent, stop being so strict about who they let in.
Yeah, that’s worked so well for the Church of England and the Catholic Church in America.
When your stock in trade is a belief system, it helps to actually FUCKING BELIEVE IN SOMETHING!
Sorry. I just get worked up. Added, I deleted “you assholes”, that was unnecessary. I was all worked up.
Heinlein always said that If “everybody knows” such-and-such, then it ain’t so, by at least ten thousand to one
Case in point. There aren’t more black men in prison than college.
I have to admit, I’ve always accepted that. It always embarrasses me when I forget that truism.
This one is funny on so many levels. 20 years after it could do any good, the state of Michigan is declaring Detroit a disaster area and taking over.
The quotes are what make it.
Mayor Dave Bing said Friday he does not favor an emergency manager to solve Detroit’s problems,
Wait, you mean a grifter is upset that he’s going to lose his source of graft? Color me pointing and laughing.
But wait, he demands his graft!
“There needs to be additional conversation with Lansing regarding their plan to move the city forward,” Bing said. “We have always said that we need help from Lansing to implement our initiatives such as public safety, transportation, lighting and others.
I’ll translate: Gimme, gimme, gimme.
I have to admit, I totally agree with this resident.
“I don’t think it’s right at all,”Angela Woodmere, 37, said Friday outside the Maccabees Building on Woodward. “We elected Detroit politicians and Snyder shouldn’t be dictating how they run the city.”
People get the gov’t they want, they voted for Henry Gondorff, they should keep him.
Speaking of scumbags. Via the Jawas we see Obama’s peace partners giving toys to children!!!! yay!!!!!
The Khyber Pakhtunkhwa (KP) government has decided to educate children about the dangers of toy-like bombs after militants allegedly targeted them recently with bombs disguised as candy, toys and even a string of ball-shaped explosives tied to a cricket bat.
Fucking savages. As for the Obama bit, it might not be the Taliban, but you know Obama would side with this set of boy-fucking savages just like he does with the Taliban.
Via Samizdata, we see this story about art. No, about Art!
So a hundred years ago some guy named Duchamp was at an art exhibit and he grabbed a urinal, signed it and put it on display. Some people are still doing it today. (Recall the janitor who “tidied up” a pile of garbage not realizing it was a million dollar pile of garbage). So the reviewer has this to say:
But it’s not going to come from repeating the same old tricks of 100 years ago. The urinal lovers now are the art establishment.
Hilariously true, but I laugh because I think of the haughty smugnitude you would get back from any Arteeeeest you said that to.
Couple Castle Arghhhhh! links.
First, the dumbest thing I’ve seen all day. (and that’s fucking saying something)
Cadets on the Brigade Energy and Environmental staff will introduce a new insignia to the Corps when they don their cadet uniforms this week. These cadet energy and environmental officers and noncommissioned officers, or E2Os, are tasked with leading the charge on initiatives related to recycling, energy and water conservation at the academy.
What does 4 up, 3 squiggly mean to you soldier? You’re pathetic sergeant!
The Silver Gore can’t be far behind. I swear, they’re just fucking with us now.
At first glance this looks awesome, but look closer.
Where the hell is the mine sweeper guy! Geez, they’re gonna be boned without him. Everybody knows the dinosaurs plant mines.
A sad post and one where the NY Post blew the headline again.
A massive spill at a Chivas plant has sent the smell of spirits flowing through a Scottish sewer
It should read Hundreds of people found in the sewers of Dumbarton, Scotland.
True Heroes! I so rarely get to use that category. There are only 4 of Doolittle’s Raider’s left alive.
There’s only one thing about that that doesn’t totally suck.
Years ago the President of Hennessy Company presented a bottle of 1896 vintage “Very Special Hennessy” cognac to General Jimmy Doolittle, in honor of his birth year and it was decided that the last two survivors would toast the fallen with it. Due to their advanced age it was decided that they would make the toast this year, before there were none left.
Nice.
The NYS Boycott is up to 111…112, but that’s not why the headline.
This is why.
Et Tu Mag-pul? (the straight cut and paste looked like crap, so I did it as plain text, you have to love the bit about the 14th amendment, that’s hard fucking corps)
REGARDING LEO SALES
March 1st, 2013
Back in 1990, when I was deployed in Desert Shield and Desert Storm as a Marine grunt, some companies prioritized me items for my M16 for shipping that I purchased with my own funds. After getting out and forming Magpul in 1999, I established the same priority policy for Military and Law Enforcement, due to the requirements of their profession.
The same policy has been in place for 13 years now and has never been an issue until a few days ago. I do not support the idea that individual police officers should be punished for the actions of their elected officials. That said, I understand the concerns that some have with Law Enforcement officers getting special treatment while at the same time denouncing second amendment rights to another citizen in the same state.
With the fight in Colorado right now we do not have time to implement a new program, so I have suspended all LE sales to ban states until we can implement a system wherein any Law Enforcement Officer buying for duty use will have to promise to uphold their oath to the US Constitution – specifically the second and fourteenth amendments – as it applies to all citizens. (emphasis mine V)
Richard Fitzpatrick
President/CEO – Founder
Magpul Industries
Ostrich Skiing!
Posted: March 1, 2013 by veeshir in Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Hotassery, Obama's Fault
It’s probably apropos of this end of civilization that on the dreaded Sequester Day When WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!! it should be so boring.
How boring? The most exciting story of the day is that Obama wants to do a Jedi Mind Meld.
Just a few links. The first few are ones you’ve seen but some people let their partisanship get the better of them, they’re not what they’re being reported.
First, to all you assholes who claimed that Taco Bell didn’t have meat in its tacos, they found horsemeat in their tacos.
See? Don’t you feel stupid.
Maxine Waters says we’re going to lose more jobs than there are.
Sure, point and laugh, but don’t you realize we’re not only losing real jobs, we’re losing the jobs Obama saved or created?
That’s fucking serious.
This one really bothers me, the NY Post almost always has great headlines, but they blew it on this one.
Current headline
Mayor Bloomberg says to lose weight you have to eat less
He says exercise doesn’t do any good, which is funny, (1/2 hour of exercise=1 muffin) but this is the quote I mean.
“If you eat less than 2,000 calories you’ll lose weight,” the mayor said on his weekly WOR radio show today. “If you eat more than 2,000 calories, you’ll gain weight.
How they should have headlined it.
Maniac Mayor Plans to Limit Restaurants to less than 2,000 calories per meal!!!
See? They blew it.
One person I never have to worry about missing the point is Tim Blair. In talking about how Global Worming is going to cause an eel and pirhana invasion of North Carolina, he notes
Seems that at least half of this problem would be self-correcting.
See? He gets it.
More headline fun. They blew it on this one. It should read:
Mostly Peaceful Protest Ends When IDF Opens Fire On Mostly Peaceful Protestors!
Palestinian rioters at Gaza border fence fire at IDF soldiers, throw Molotov cocktails; Israeli military sources say 3 Palestinians hit by IDF return fire;
See? It was mostly peaceful until them dam Jews defended themselves.
Hmmm, Philly is worried about income, so what to do, what to do? I know!
For years, his home has been consistently valued at $12,000, but after a city-wide reassessment, it’s now valued at $116,700.
Brilliant!
Let’s go old school. So I Married a Witch was on earlier. We really needed the internet to be around when Veronica Lake was alive, but you take what you get.
Round the Tubes: Shoulda Stayed Drunk Edition
Posted: February 28, 2013 by veeshir in Hotassery, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's FaultFuck. Why didn’t I just keep drinking?
Important, above the post update! I moved the Rand Paul story up and I’m going to explain myself better.
The original part
Dammit, whenever you trust what a pol says you’re wrong. I know that and yet, I started trusting Rand Paul, this article has him defending his vote to confirm Hagel. Motherfucker. There can be no reason to confirm Hagel. Not a one, unless he’s hoping to hasten the end, which motive I can get behind, but I doubt that’s why he really did it.
So why am I pissed? His explanation was that he filibustered for information but he didn’t get it and this
I take the position that the president does have some leeway and some prerogative in who he appoints to political appointees.
Oh, so the fucking Senate is just a rubber stamp? That whole bit about “advice and consent” means, “Vote yes” so voting for the most unqualified Sec Def since….uhhhhh…… was Biden ever Sec Def?
Now, back to my reasons for wanting to be a alcoholic!
Via Batshitcrazy News, we find something that’s not so batshit crazy as demanding tar, feathers, a rail and an order to never be in charge of anything ever again. Take away his ant farm.
Daniel Brewington was not happy with the way that Dearborn County, Indiana, Judge James D. Humphrey handled his divorce case, during which he lost custody of his children, and he explained why at length in various strongly worded online commentaries. Largely as a result of those posts, Brewington is serving a two-year sentence at the Putnamville Correctional Facility for intimidation, attempted obstruction of justice, and perjury.
That’s what you get for mocking the Laird.
Via a Trainwreck in Maxwell, I’m surprised I haven’t seen this anywhere else, it’s just so beautifully Obama. A Friday Newsdump:
administration officials said Friday the Pre-Existing Condition Insurance Plan will stop taking new applications.
So , will all those lefties screeching about pre-existing conditions admit that Obama played them?
Sorry, I just like to make myself laugh.
This one is pretty funny. I forget where I saw it, sorry. The NOAA ordered tens of thousands of hollow point ammo for the National Weather Service. When caught, (minitrue/yellow journalism Wash Post link), they said, “No, that’s for the fish and game part of NOAA”.
Which leads us to this, the Fish and Game Authority is in the Dept. of Interior, if they buy bullets I have no problem with that, they are out in the wilderness and are law enforcement, NOAA, is part of the Dept. of Commerce, so they are not the same thing and should have no law-enforcement powers as there is a dept (Fish and Game) who does that.
Are they going to need the ammo to shoot anti-global warmmongers? Geez, now I gotta wonder how many federal bureaus have me on their hit list.
Remember last week when I wrote about Obama meeting with the Norks unilaterally and telling Japan to fuck off? No? Well I did.
So Obama’s decided to make sure the Japanese understand exactly what he thinks of them.
Caroline Kennedy, the daughter of the late President John F. Kennedy, is a leading candidate to become President Barack Obama’s nominee as U.S. ambassador to Japan, according to two people familiar with the matter.
Caroline Kennedy is like Smurfette except stupid. Geez, I didn’t think it was possible but Obama is actually making the federal gov’t more stupider.
So, any bets on where this will be “corrected” to in a month or so?
The U.S. expanded at a 0.1% annual rate in the last three months of 2012
I figure negative territory, but it won’t be reported by Minitrue.
Jericho 777 “likes” some of my posts (I think he just likes to click buttons, he seems rational otherwise), so I always click your blog when you do, if I don’t link or comment it’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I’m lazy.
But this time I saw he blogged about the three year old in a wheelchair thugged by the TSA and adds in a whole litany of thuggeries that they keep “apologizing” for and keep doing. Hmmmmm, methinks they’re not really sorry.
Ah, I gotta stop now, I wanted to do some hottassery but I deci…..wait, check that.
Round the Tubes: Crown and Links Edition
Posted: February 27, 2013 by veeshir in Drunkblogging, Hotassery, Obama's Fault, PEBKACI started a jug of Crown a little while ago. Let’s see what happens!
First up, What’s the Wash Post going to do? We all saw Woodward calling Obama insane and then the White House going all Chicago on him. I’d be a little more supportive of Woodward if the Wash Post wasn’t such a facilitator of Obama’s lies.
I wonder if the Wash Post will grow a pair, but notice the above links do not go there. I’m betting against it, this is just a little fillip and they’ll be back to kneeling and bobbing by tomorrow.
A couple IMAO links,
Hillary is going on the speaking circuit! I’m not saying she won’t be paid well for it, I’m just wondering if anybody will actually show up to listen to her smugly screech.
I just noticed that I did the post the other day about the 1911 knives without the link. I guess nobody wanted one, but there it is anyway.
A little history lesson (I love this one)
Funny how that worked out.
Speaking of which, the NY boycott is up to 97 businesses. I will say that I love it when a blogger finds an important niche and does good. I hope his hit count is way up there.
The war between the states is getting funnier and endier. Texas is running $billions in surpluses, Illinois is running $billions in deficits. How long before Obama raids tries to raid Texan coffers for the Illinois welfare state with hilariously violent results?
Well this is unsettling. Supposedly Hezbollah is fighting in Syria for the gov’t. So another set of jihadis added to that dog’s breakfast. The truck bomb war is going to heat up.
China threatening Japan, the Philippines and Vietnam. Yay! They’re moving missiles across the South China Sea.
Wow, whiskey makes me laconic! Good thing I wasn’t drinking vodka.
A couple of chucklers from the List of What Global Worming Hath Wrought!
From 11/15/08, Will Global Worming Cause Ohio to lose buckeye trees? (spoiler alert: No)
From 6/29/2005, Global Worming Will Make The Earth Lopsided! A little trouble though:
We used computer-generated simulations to get this research result,” Powell cautioned.
Let me know how that worked out for you.
Wyatt had a post that made me look for funny air traffic controller stories and I found this page with a bunch of new ones.
There are the ones you might have seen on an email on the right sidebar, but the main part of the page has stories this guy knows.
Unknown Aircraft: “Hello?..”
Easterwood Tower (me): “Please say again.”
UA: “What?”
ET: “Who is this?”
UA: “This is Joe”
ET: “This is Easterwood Tower, where are you?”
UA: “I’m in the plane!”
(I looked down the flight line, checking if someone was sitting in a parked plane playing with the radio. I didn’t see anything, and the senior controller was becoming more interested in my handling of the situation.)
ET: “Joe, where is the pilot?”
UA: “He got out when the engine quit..”
(I could only imagine a bizarre scenario in which the pilot had jumped from the plane.)
ET: “Joe, what does your airspeed indicator read?”
UA: (Long pause) “Zero?”
(So the plane was now in a stall I thought.)
ET: “Joe, whatever you have in front of you – a stick or a steering wheel – push it forward – you need to get airspeed over your wings!”
UA: “Are you sure?”
ET: “Yes Joe you need to push it forward… (pause)… What does your airspeed indicator read now?”
UA: “It’s still zero.”
(I thought, oh my god, Joe’s plane was in a falling leaf spin. I couldn’t help him. Joe was going to die. I did not know what to do. I looked to the senior controller. He said, “Ask him where his plane is.”)
ET: “Joe, where is your plane?”
UA: “We are parked down at the end of the runway, the pilot got out when the engine quit and walked back to the hanger..”
ET: “Joe, get off the radio.”
Okay, that’s funny. I can picture the poor air traffic controller thinking he’s talking to a dead man.
This one slayed me even though you can see it coming.
The late Captain Mickey Munn – an all-round fine fellow, highly experienced pilot and, at the time, Sergeant in the Red Devils (UK Parachute Regiment display team) – was piloting a Britten Norman Islander to jumping altitude with a full load of hairy-arsed paras crammed into the rear of the aircraft. With no warning at all, a bang and a flash of flame, the port engine blew itself to pieces. Mickey’s hands flashed around the cockpit as he brought the aircraft under control. As soon as the aircraft was straight and level he turned to his passengers and said: “Phew. I think you chaps should…” But his words tailed away as he gaped at the empty passenger cabin.
See ya, wouldn’t want to be ya.
One more
And (another) hoary old chestnut: QANTAS pilot to copilot landing at Sydney, forgetting the cabin intercom was live:
“What I need now is a cold beer and a hot shiela”
Stewardess hurries forward lest worse befall.
Chorus of passengers “Hey, you forgot the beer!”
There are a bunch, none are bad, some are fucking hilarious. Look at the “Technical problem/remedial action” chart at the bottom.
Technical problem remedial action
Dead bugs on windshield. Live bugs on back order.
I have some great bookmarks on this computer that I haven’t clicked in years.
I think I’ve posted this before, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t post it again.
