Archive for the ‘Jitardis’ Category

Buy A Man A Veeshir And You’ve Given Him An Asshole

Posted: March 22, 2013 by veeshir in Exploding things, Fun With Media, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP FAIL, Jitardis, Kittehs!, Liberal Fascism, Mideast Madness, Nanny State, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, PEBKAC
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Teach a man Veeshing and he’ll be hilariously OUTRAGED! for ever.

First we’ll do some hilarity.

Terrorists have a new Facebook page. Seriously? What do they do? Suicide bomb Farmville?

Even funnier, terrorists have hacked the BBC’s weather twitter account. Al Gore hardest hit.

Now some endy that ain’t funny at all.

Lebanon is fucked. Sunni V Shiite in Tripolis is getting out of hand.

Deadly clashes erupted once again in Lebanon’s troubled northern city of Tripoli after simmering sectarian tensions boiled over into a melee of violence that has seen snipers fatally shoot people amid explosions and heavy gunfire.

Truck bombs on the way. Poor bastids.

A little hope in Egypt, Egyptians getting sick of Islamist assholes.

n two notable incidents in the northern province of Alexandria and the province of Suez, citizens beat bearded men who tried to impose their presence on the streets in order to preserve security. When the men tried to yell at women for what they saw as indecent clothing and threatened them with punishment if they ever wore those clothes again, the women yelled back at them and started hitting them with their shoes before passersby rallied, caught some of bearded men and beat the ones who were too slow to escape.

I’d be more on their side if they weren’t fine with it when the jihadis were killing Copts, but now that they’re going after eveybody else, well, that’s beyond the pale.

The Muslim Brotherhood is having problems in Cairo too.

Several thousand opponents of Egypt’s Muslim Brotherhood clashed with supporters of the Islamist group near its headquarters in Cairo on Friday

I’m rooting for them, take your revolution back before you live in some Islamist shithole where not having a beard and listening to music is verboten.

 

Speaking of poor bastids, ethnic problems in Burma.

Myanmar has declared martial law in four central towns following unrest between Buddhists and Muslims that has left at least 20 people dead.

Agitated crowds of Buddhists were still roaming the streets and several neighbourhoods were still on fire or smouldering after hundreds of Muslims were forced to flee for their lives.

 

How pissed off do you have to make Buddhists to get them be all violent?

Not sure if this is good or bad, but it’s change.

The people of Turkey are digesting the historic statement from jailed rebel leader Abdullah Ocalan, who called for a PKK ceasefire on March 21….

“From now on the principles of the Turkish state could be different. It’s a process of creating a new constitution.

Maybe even some hope. I’m rooting for them, the Kurds just keep getting fucked.

Another case of exporting our values.

Most Ukrainians see their parliament representatives only once in four years — during the election campaign. But soon after getting elected, many deputies forget about accountability.

Just like ours!

My posts have been all disjointed so I’m trying for structure, this case of an unintentionally accurate headline is where we seg our ue to America.

Obama cements his symbolic support of Israel

Symbolic is absolutely correct, cuz he doesn’t support them in any other way.

This is one of those “Needs a different headline” stories.

US plan calls for more scanning of private Web traffic, email

Alternate headline: “Veeshir to put Fuck You DHS, NSA, FBI, CIA in the subject line of every email”

In more, “We’re fucking assholes” news, Via Weasel Zippers, we see some GOPers going for headlines and Democrats refusing to even symbolically say they’re against crushing America.

It would have sent the budget back to the Budget Committee until Saturday with instructions to make it balance by 2023.

They’re refusing to say they’ll balance the budget in 13 years. First, anything but this year is calling me an idiot as future Congresses will not be bound by this stupidity, second, seriously? Democrats don’t feel the need to even pretend they give a shit about fiscal sanity?

I mean, we’re going to be utterly fucked by 2023 so the budget will either be balanced by reality or we’ll all be serfs living in a EUnuchstania-like  EUtopia so this utterly symbolic thing was stupid from the get-go, but at least pretend to care.

In, We’re Running Out Of Money news, Paramus, NJ (shopping haven) is fining folks for leaving their lights on after dark.

-Businesses in Paramus, New Jersey are getting tickets when they leave their sign lights on….

“We’ve been her for 25 years and never had an issue,” Billard says.

They’re broke, tread carefully as they become creative about getting blood from your stones.

So the GOP has been trying to figure out what to do to be more palatable as a choice, so they’ve decided that the most important GOP presidential candidate to be like is…. Mike Fucking Huckabee!

Priebus cited former governor Mike Huckabee of Arkansas as an example of someone who could be “a model for a lot of people in our party”

Seriously? If you were saying that to say, “Get the fuck out of politics and get a job as blow-dried telemprompter reader” I’d respect it, but he’s not. He thinks the candidate that was worse than both McCain and Romney is their fucking model.

So, still pissed off at me for saying Fuck the GOP I’m voting 3rd party instead of throwing my vote away?

Cold Fury just keeps harshing my mellow, and my mellow isn’t very yellow as it is. At least this one has some seriously hilarity.

Florida professor and high-ranking member of the Palm Beach County Democratic Party recently instructed his students to take out a piece of paper, write “JESUS” on it, then put it on the floor and stomp on it – and the Mormon student who refused to do so, calling the assignment morally offensive – was suspended….

In an emailed statement the university sent to CBS, campus officials stated “faculty and students at academic institutions pursue knowledge and engage in open discourse. While at times the topics discussed may be sensitive, a university environment is a venue for such dialogue and debate.”

Dialogue does not seem to mean what they think it does. Kid tried to introduce another viewpoint and they suspended him as they proudly talked about dialogue. That’s fucking funny. You know, so long as you’re not the kid who’s paying $thousands a year to go there.

 

In my life eggs have been good for you and bad for you, alternatingly, too many times to count. Ditto bacon, vino and sharp sticks in the eye… way, check that last one.

So has salt. I have an alternate take on this one though.

One in 10 Americans dies from eating too much salt, the researchers found.

Salt, necessary for human life is bad for you! If that were true, then NJ would be depopulated. Seriously, I’ve never met any people who put more salt on everything.

Some illustrations.

A little early for Caturday, but I might be busy tomorrow so I’m posting it today.

Via Tim Blair’s cat post we see this bit of evil hilarity.

 

catrug

Although, it just doesn’t seem as impressive as a bear skin rug. How can you brag about how it was about to bit your toes when you took it.

 

This is genius, I’m going to have to get one to go with my Gadsden Flags.

times_up_flag_z

 

You know, cuz time’s pretty darn close to up.

Have fun everybody and don’t forget, if you’re not hilariously OUTRAGED!!!! you’re just not Veeshing.

 

 

An Illustrated Veeshing Post

Posted: March 21, 2013 by veeshir in Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Jitardis, L.L.A.P.H., Liberal Fascism, Mideast Madness, Nanny State, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, This Is My BOOMSTICK!
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Casting the ‘nets today I see a bunch of links that need pictures, so let’s start with that.

The GOP’s rebranding attempts illustrated.

Rebranding-590-LI

Perfect.

Obama is just like Bush only wimpier!

Obama’s threatening tweet to the Norks the other day. He mentions B-52s with this pic (in a threatening tweet)

copycat

A picture from October,2001.

wonthetoss

Dude threatened the Norks via twitter, that cannot be ridiculed enough, while copying an intertubes’ forward.

Lou Zer.

So Obama is trying to pretend he doesn’t hate Isreal. Hmmmm, I wonder how that’s going?

Obama and arafish

Standing in for the Arafish….Barack Obama!

Asshole.

Enough of the illustrated posts, now just some chit I saw.

Hezbollah, not content with just starting wars with Israel, are getting Syria to attack Lebanon as well, and the Lebanese are finally figuring it out.

Unlike Arsal, there is no LAF presence in Hermel, as the region has Hezbollah’s trained gunmen to defend it. Hezbollah’s gunmen have been for months involved in fighting with the Syrian rebels groups that allegedly threaten Shiites in villages and towns inside Syria, but close to the Lebanese border.

I have very little sympathy for them, they knew what Palestinian terrorists do from the 70s civil war, but they let their Jew-hatred blind them to that.

Via Doug Ross, other people are noticing that our oh so brave media types are afraid of Mexican cartels.

Violence along the southern border has gotten so out of control that both Mexican and American journalists have stopped reporting it out of fear that drug cartels will retaliate against them and their families.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand, but these assholes preen about how ‘brave’ they are as they bash people who won’t kill them without even noting that they’re afraid of the ones who will. It’s just like CNN (and others who will never admit it) lying for Saddam.Recall Foxnews left Iraq with no explanation, but they’re the evil ones. They should have said why they left, because they refused to lie for a murderous dictator unlike their enlightened brethren in Minitrue.

Now I have to wonder if Obama’s threatened them too or if they just like sucking his dick? I figure a little from column A and a little from column B.

Speaking of lying for murdering assholes, Benghazi!

Catherine Herridge, longtime reporter for Fox News, received Accuracy in Media’s Reed Irvine Award for investigative reporting on that scandal. The White House is desperately trying to put a lid on the whole thing, hoping that no one is compelled to testify as to whether it is true, as alleged, that the president, in the midst of his re-election campaign, watched the four Americans die and then went to bed.

They have to protect their Teleprompter Jesus after all and those dim folks in flyover country might get the wrong (correct) idea about Obama.

What bothers me the most about that is that in other countries, murderous thugs have to intimidate the media.

Guillermo Zuloaga, the owner of Globovision, the sole television network in Venezuela critical of the Chavista regime, has said that he was coerced into selling the station by the government. As the Wall Street Journal reports, the sale represents a serious blow to what little media freedom remains in the country:

Here in America, they do it for the cum they swallow.

Wherein Veeshir agrees with Palestinian terrorists!

Palestinian protesters rallied today in Ramallah today before Obama’s visit to the West Bank.
The protesters shouted, “We want RPGs, not collaboration with the CIA.”

You and me both, you and me both.

Via Broken Patriot we see the next batch of Obamacare waivers.

“Union leaders say many of the law’s requirements will drive up the costs for their health-care plans and make unionized workers less competitive.” (“Some Unions Grow Wary Of Health Law They Backed,” The Wall Street Journal, 1/30/13)

There are more examples, with links, at that link.

Listen, Obama needs to reward vote-frauders and donors, if you want a waiver you have to pay for it. Justice isn’t cheap in Obama’s America.

So the EUnuchs have figured out their bailout “plan” is not good.  So what’s a good leftist to do when he discovers his error?

“In the present situation, I think that there is definitely a systemic risk, and I think that the unrest of the last couple of days has proven this unfortunately,” he told reporters.

He added mistakes were made, but the basic idea is sound:

What they always do, keep going anyway. Cuz it’s “fair” or something. Who knows?

Cuomo notices his gun ban law is stupid and requires things that do not exist and doesn’t exempt police so he’s going to try to ‘fix’ it.

New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo’s office is working on amendments to clarify the newly passed gun-control law, following complaints that it did not explicitly exempt police officers from a ban on high-capacity magazines….

The only pistols allowed are larger ones cuz they have low-capacity mags, like the 1911, compact .45s and Wildeys, while also making the .50 Beowulf being one of the few rifles that comply (7-round mags, no bayonet mount, only the pistol grip makes it evil), that’s fucking funny.

Related, NY boycott up to 137.

Wow, this one is all over the place today, no structure, but we’ll still end on Teh Funny.

First, FrnakJ’s article that takes Obama’s and Boehner’s comments about how we don’t have to worry about the deficit, just run the budget on credit and we can cancel taxation.

A mere $85 billion cut has caused all this agony, yet the federal deficit has been over $1 trillion for each of the past four years. Maybe it’s time to admit we’ll never stop running huge deficits. The majority of our spending comes from entitlements, and we can’t cut those because people are, by definition, “entitled” to them. That means it doesn’t matter what math and reason say, we have to continue to pay for them. Thus an increased national debt each year is inevitable. But so what?

I don’t know if it would work, but I’m fer it. Why should just the people who get money from the gov’t get to avoid taxes?

Scott Ott at Scrappleface gets off another good one.

President Obama Friday pressed Congress to spend $2 billion on his dream to eliminate hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions, of jobs in the petroleum industry. However, he acknowledged that federal research on such job-killing will cost much more, and unfortunately, many oil industry workers could remain employed for years to come.

Not sure if either of those are satire, if I saw them in Mother Jones I would just smile and nod, but these two usually intend to be funny.

That’s the essence of good satire.

Which gives me an idea, I would love to see FrnakJ change his pseudonym and get a job for Mother Jones just to see how many articles he could get in before they realize he’s joking.

I figure he’ll last long enough to get a pretty good pension.

Round The Tubes: Internet Works Better At Night!

Posted: March 19, 2013 by veeshir in Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Government FAIL, Islam - a religion of tolerance and peace, Jitardis, Liberal Fascism, Mideast Madness, Nanny State, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, PEBKAC
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Lots of links, let’s see how many I get to!

First some Mideast Madness, it’s like March Madness with the same amount of rioting but more killing.

Soccerdad at Yourish has a good post on Minitrue loving some Intifada.  It’s nothing new for Minitrue to root for terrorists to send children out front with rocks and gunmen behind to draw fire, and if the Jews don’t kill them some kids, the Palestinians will be more than happy to fix that lack and then scream The Jooooooooooooos!

Soccerdad links to this story about how throwing rocks isn’t peaceful.

IDF special forces arrested ten Palestinian men overnight Friday on suspicion of hurling rocks at an Israeli vehicle and being behind an attack that led the car to veer off the road, hit a truck, and leave a three-year-old girl fighting for her life.

Yeah, but it wasn’t the Jews causing problems so you won’t see that story in a Minitrue outlet, can’t have people getting the wrong idea.

Next door in Lebanon, I have to wonder if any your average non-jihadi, Lebanese are hoping the Marines left some stuff in Tripoli they might want to pick up.

“There are snipers from Jabal Mohsen targeting Bab al-Tabbaneh [residents], and a grenade was thrown from Jabal Mohsen onto Syria Street, which led to retaliation from Bab al-Tabbaneh

Those poor bastards are fucked, but they let Hezbollah and other terrorists get strong to fight Israel and then got all upset about how terrorists act like terrorists so my pity is tempered.

This quote is interesting

However, he added that if a battle erupted in Bab al-Tabbaneh, “it will be a spark for [a war] in all of Lebanon, and this is what the Iranian and Syrian regimes are planning.”

Especially considering this

Syrian air force jets fired four rockets at an uninhabited section of the border with Lebanon on March 18, according to security sources.

I can’t figure that out, is Iran just trying to get the whole middle east blow up and why?

They must also be fucking with Israel.

Lebanon: Israeli jets dropped flare bombs along the coast of the southern city of Tyre Monday, security sources told The Daily Star.

The aircraft launched five flares to illuminate the night sky for reconnaissance purposes, the sources said, adding that the devices extinguished five to 10 minutes after they were released.

In Afghanistan we find another group of jihadis who I’ve never heard of.

Following a deadly suicide bombing in northern Afghanistan that killed 10 people on March 13, Afghan and Coalition forces launched separate raids on March 14 and March 15 targeting three senior members of the al Qaeda-linked Islamic Movement of Uzbekistan.

Well that can’t be, Obama strangled the last al Quaeda terrorist himself!

This one is kind of funny but I’d be pretty fucking scared if I was the guy running against Chavez’ successor thug.

Venezuela’s acting president said on Wednesday that “far right” figures in the United States were plotting to kill opposition leader Henrique Capriles

“The Americans are going to kill the guy I’m running against!” says the successor thug in chief (former secret police chief). Eh, it’s better than being killed resisting arrest I guess.

High Praise! for Harvey for giving High Praise! to the Real Revo (accept no substitutes!) with this picture

UNinvolved

Heh.

We all know Europeans’ favorite pasttime is going on killing sprees against the “other”, just ask 1,000+ years of Jews, and further, the Germans are some of the best, the 30 Years War was fought primarily in what is now Germany after all and who can forget them trying to take over the world twice last century? Jihadis, that’s who.

More recently, Salafists have issued death threats against German politicians, including German Chancellor Angela Merkel. “The groups aim to change our society in an aggressive belligerent way so that democracy would be replaced by a Salafist system, and the rule of law replaced by Sharia law.” — Hans-Peter Friedrich, Ministry of the Interior, Germany

Silly jihadis, don’t rile the Germans up, they’re already fucking pissed off at the rest of EUnuchstan sucking their cash and are just looking for someone to kill.

Obama finishes stabbing our eastern European friends in the back to make Tsar Putin I happy.

The United States has effectively canceled the final phase of a Europe-based missile defense system that was fiercely opposed by Russia and cited repeatedly by the Kremlin as a major obstacle to cooperation on nuclear arms reductions and other issues.

When a dictator tells you a defensive system is “provocative”, you know he’s planning invasion routes.

Sorry guys, hopefully the Germans will be on your side when Tsar Putin I tries to rebuild the Soviet Empire.

In Springtime For Hitler news, we see this bit of hilarity.

Krafft was given a pass by reviewers, collectors and critics for his use of swastikas, nazism and Hitler. It was all genius-level kitsch. It belittled the Third Reich, rendering it cheap in scathing mockulatory fashion.

Then a funny thing happened. Krafft was exposed as a white supremacist and holocaust denier.

Does that make it more or less “ironic”?

We’ll seg our ue to America by using another iOwn the World link.  We’ve all seen the new DOD 9 steps for stopping a violent crime without using violence. These folks have provided a handi-doody vid to illustrate the proper method.

That’s hilarious, except it’s what they really expect us to do so it’s not funny at all.

Bwahahahahahahhahaha. The guy is fantastic and the music makes it.

A Trainwreck in Maxwell makes an insightful observation about this story.

Barnegat, N.J.  police arrested a woman after they say she got out of her car, lifted her shirt and bra and exposed her breasts to surveillance cameras.

No picture with the story so, not hot.
Related, DHS MRAPs we’ve been assured are not for the DHS are being spotted on our streets.
Among stated concerns include the obviousness and normalcy of it all.
Eggs-fucking-zactly.
With this bit being a good idea.

“If you see these monsters, photograph them and post the photos on Twitter #DHSMRAP,” he advises, creating a stated intelligence-gathering mission for concerned activists.

“If you see them, report them,” he urges.

Yes.
Totally grassroots protests in Detroit against the governor stepping in to do a real austerity thing, so since austerity now means raising taxes it can’t be called that.
Hundreds of well-organized demonstrators vowing “civil disobedience” will greet Michigan Republican Gov. Rick Snyder’s visit to Cobo Hall in Detroit Monday for an economic summit in order to protest Snyder’s selection of a powerful “emergency manager” to save the city of Detroit from bankruptcy.
You can tell it’s grassroots by how well organized they are, grassroots are always very organized.
The New Puritans.  Less worried about sex but still worried about having unapproved fun.
But puritans haven’t vanished. They’ve merely changed the subject. The expansion of freedom in matters of sex has coincided with a shrinkage in matters of health. New Yorkers would laugh at laws policing sex, but they elected a mayor who has no problem trying to control other physical indulgences.
Hey Bloomberg!
Which is bothering some libertari….libertines like Bill Maher.
Bill Maher blasted New York City, Mayor Michael Bloomberg Friday saying, “There is something wrong about the 7th richest person in the world, lying in bed at night saying, ’You know what people shouldn’t do? Drink too much Sprite. And I’m going to make that a law.’” Last week, state Supreme Court Judge, Justice Milton Tingling struck down Mayor Bloomberg’s soda ban.
I guess we know whose ox is being gored now.
Last we have this bit of scary hilarity. So Chris Matthews sees a revolution coming and he worries about what’s most important to him.
How does Barack Obama escape this frightening axe coming down sharpl and brutally on his presidency? How does he avoid personal harm when the country rises up in anger?
.
Oh noes! Louis the 17th  might be hurt!

Damn The Tubes! Full Typos Ahead!

Posted: March 17, 2013 by veeshir in China, Fun With Media, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP FAIL, HAHAHAHAHAA!!!!, Jitardis, Liberal Fascism, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, Teh Funneh, Vagina Squad Fail, You'll pry 'em from my cold dead hands
8

A drudgetaposition

DHS buying $9 million worth of guns from H&K and Sig

DHS hiring!

Now, I defended CPAC for not inviting people like Christie, but I am pretty upset about GOProud.

As Eric asks, Is Breitbart’s ghost uninvited?

Quoth Breitbart

“If being conservative means rejecting gay conservatives because they are gay, then fine, I’m not a conservative.”

It’s their party, but people afraid of gay cooties really need to get a grip. Everybody knows girls are where cooties come from.

Now, I hate trusting a Minitrue outlet, but I don’t think they’d actually alter a transcript, you never know but this feels right.

Boehner from ABC’s This (is) Weak

MARTHA RADDATZ: So, do you trust President Obama?

SPEAKER JOHN BOEHNER: Absolutely….. There’s no issue there. We have a very, very– good relationship.

Fuck.

But it gets better.

SPEAKER JOHN BOEHNER: We do not have an immediate debt crisis.

Double fuck.

SPEAKER JOHN BOEHNER: Well, I think– most people would think that I’m part of the common-sense caucus.

By “most people”, I assume he’s talking about his staff and GOP tools who hate wacko birds.

I could quote this fucking thing all day, but I’ll end on a hilarious note

SPEAKER JOHN BOEHNER:…The Senate is likely to finish their budget– after– the Easter recess.

Listen, there aren’t enough “ha”s in the world for that “bwa” so I don’t want to use them up on something so fucking stupid.  They’re already doing more continuing spending $trillions resolutions.  Those are much better than budgets, they don’t have deficit spending or earmarks. At least, everybody can pretend they don’t and really, that’s all that matters.

In Fuck You Minitrue News, a puppy blender link quoting The Hill. (I don’t link Minitrue if I can avoid it)

“A growing number of states are moving forward with legislation to exempt them from new federal gun controls and, in some cases, brand as criminals anyone who tries to enforce them. While many of the bills are considered symbolic or appear doomed to fail, the legislative explosion reflects a backlash against legislative and regulatory efforts in Washington to tamp down on gun violence.”

Fuck you, it’s not about reducing gun violence, it’s about control, it’s about making citizens into subjects and you assholes know it, you just keep pushing your fucking view at every chance.

So what does it say when I see the ‘Justice” Dept. is investigating the Wall Street Journal and my first thought is, “How did they piss off Obama?”

said it had received information from a person it described as a whistleblower who claimed one or more Journal employees had provided gifts to Chinese government officials in exchange for information, according to people familiar with the case.

First, so fucking what? If they want to pay for information, why is that Obama’s….. oh yeah, Chinese bribes.

Nevermind.

Another Weasel Zippers link that would be fucking hilarious if it weren’t as we they were fucking with us over the SEQUESTER THAT’S GONNA KILL US ALL!!!!!.

The federal government is spending $227,437 to investigate how animals have been depicted in National Geographic magazine over a span of 120 years, which federal officials say is an “innovative study” that will examine “images of animals to see how people have changed their view of the natural world.”

… “Predators like wolves and coyotes have been consistently portrayed as a threat.

Gee, too bad they don’t make people think coyotes are all fluffy and friendly and stuff. I mean, who wouldn’t want their kids wanting to pet a vicious carnivore that’s one of the more opportunistic killers and lives in and near people areas? Sure jerks like my neighbor who lost his dog and chickens to the coyotes might be unhelpful about that, but that’s cuz he’s not as smart as bureaucrats in DC.

Okay, three more chucklers to end the day.

First, “Crazed Man Dressed As Vagina Shuts Down Pro-Life Speech” I will say, the story delivers on the headline. His mom isn’t very good at sewing.

Second, a little global warmmongering hilarity.

The estimates – given with 75 per cent and 95 per cent certainty – suggest only a five per cent chance of the real temperature falling outside both bands.

But when the latest official global temperature figures from the Met Office are placed over the predictions, they show how wrong the estimates have been, to the point of falling out of the ‘95 per cent’ band completely…

Do tell.

The funniest part, for me, is people scratching their heads and thinking that maybe other people who say the same phenomenon causes heat, cold, drought, floods, oyster herpes and the Earth exploding might just be making shit up.

And last, a quiz. I guaran-damn-tee nobody, and I mean nobody, gets the answer.

Who wrote this bit of poetry? (Link below so you can’t cheat, I took this from the middle because there are some words that might give a clue)

I am a supplicant for a goblet of wine
from the hand of a sweetheart.”

“O Friend, I have become captivated
by the mole over your lip.
I have seen your languid eyes
and I have become sick.”

“Place a strand of your wavy hair in my way.

In white ink, so you’ll have to highlight it.

Sayyid Ruhollah Mostafavi Musavi Khomeini

That’s right, the Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomenei,

As the author says

Apparently the same guy who issued a deadly fatwa against Salman Rushdie and his ‘Satanic verses’; the same guy who has written a mini guide for good Muslim pedophiles on how to have sexual pleasure from a baby among other atrocities;  has also written poetry on wine, love, taverns, drunkenness and languid eyes

Did you get it? Of course not.

Must have been his Paris days.

Damn The Typos! Full Tubes Ahead!

Posted: March 15, 2013 by veeshir in Catholicism, China, Conservatism, Filthy Hippies, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP Win!, Islam - a religion of tolerance and peace, Jitardis, Liberal Fascism, Nanny State, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, PEBKAC, You'll pry 'em from my cold dead hands
6

Sorta important, above the post update.

Eh, it didn’t matter much to me, I was just curious and I saw something today that gave me a clue on how to find out.

Aaccording to this Catholic News Agency article,

Vatican spokesman Fr. Federico Lombardi has confirmed that the Pope intended to take his name from the 13th century aristocrat who left his wealthy family to serve the poor and rebuild the Church.

So, St. Francis of Assisi.

Now, back to the post!

My subscription to spell check ran out so you gets what I gives.

I’m all depressed today, Nicole wrote what I was worried about, I’m becoming an OUTRAGE!!!! monger. Apcray.

Denial is just not strong enough for today and I can’t stay drunk all day. Maybe I should turn to LSD. Eh, I’ll try to see the funny.

This one actually does make me laugh,  It’s a drudge link and he’s talking about Obama slapping around a Dem congresscritter. What makes me laugh is this

Obama was referring to his $1 billion proposal for 15 manufacturing “innovation centers,”

He actually expects people to take that shit seriously.

The article goes on to note this

the details of which are still somewhat hazy.

“Hazy”, yeah, we’ll go with that. It sounds so much better than, “Ridiculous crap that doesn’t mean anything.”

We all saw Cruz make Feinstein look like a fool yesterday. You know it was bad because Andrea Mitchell declared DiFi the winner, but we also see this as another proof they know she looked like the moron she is (Dumber than a box of Boxers!)

Feinstein told Wolf Blitzer she “felt patronized” by the “arrogant” junior senator and had to take some time to cool off afterward.

Awwww, did the mean old man make ems look stupid?

How arrogant and clueless do you have to be to piss off the men who are dedicated to give up their lives for yours?

A former agent blasted President Obama for blaming the Secret Service for the decision to shut down White House tours,

That’s right, Obama arrogant and clueless.

What lefties do understand is indoctrination, they’re only fer it when they’re indoctrinating kids to believe the right things.

I just intro’d bill to prevent kids under 12 from going to gun shows.

Yup, can’t let 12 year olds learn how cool guns are or they might want one.

Also via Say Uncle, … Cold Fury (the exact link is below about sedition) we see this bit of common sense about gun laws.

You cannot “protect” a right while calling for limitations on it.

Preach it brother!

How do you say, “How many divisions does he have?” in Mandarin? (unsafe, NY Times Link)

China congratulated Pope Francis on Thursday on his ascension to the papacy, but also warned the Vatican not to interfere in what China deems to be its internal affairs.

I know who I’m rooting for.

Hmmm, now I have to wonder how to say it in English.

This past Sunday, a Chicago area church sponsored a Second Amendment Sunday filled with “assault” pop-tarts, “combat” cupcakes and a sheet-cake that featured a chocolate semi-automatic Glock handgun with a quote from Jesus that read “Blessed are the peacemakers.”

That last is a very nice touch except they really needed it to be a Colt, not a Glock.

pop-gun

Okay, headlines that just seem fucking ridiculous.

US Can’t Make Dominos Founder Offer Contraceptives To Employees

Seriously, imagine going back to the 50s and showing that article to people. They’d lock you up for your own good.

A question, could you let him off if he promises to take acting lessons?

Headine

Hah!… Iranian Regime TV: Ben Affleck Could Be Hanged For War Crimes

I ask because I could see that question coming up.

Hmmm, this is interesting.

Egyptian media outlets are reporting that a number of Hamas members were involved in the August 2012 attack on an Egyptian military base that killed 16 Egyptian soldiers. The three Hamas members linked to the attack are Ayman Nofal, Mohamed Ibrahim Salah Abu Shamala, and Raed al Attar.

On the one hand, I doubt the Muslim Brotherhood likes Hamas killing people in Egypt without their permission, on the other hand, they were killing the main obstacles to the MB’s takeover of Egypt. Interesting to see how it plays out.

Now sure about this one either.

“The Lebanese cabinet is required to hold an extraordinary meeting to ask the army to deploy along the border,”

Whose side would they be on? So far in Syria we’ve seen homegrown terrorists, al Quaeda, Hezbollah and Syrian military in a dog’s breakfast of a nightmare scenario, I guess whose side they’ll be on depends on how many Hezbollah units are included.

Steyn on Islamophobes getting their blood all over the place.

The attempted murder of an “Islamophobe” is part of the scene in today’s Europe. Among those targeted have been such obvious “right-wing extremists” as secular feminist Ayaan Hirsi Ali, gay hedonist Pim Fortuyn, and coke-snorting anti-monarchist Theo van Gogh. While I was in Copenhagen paying a visit to Lars’s Danish Free Press Society, a young Chechen jihadist opposed to all this outrageous Islamophobia prematurely detonated while assembling his bomb in his hotel room, and we all had a good laugh. But sometimes, as on Lars’s doorstep, the jihad wannabe is less incompetent and gets a little closer.

It being EUnuchstan, they need to provide ‘balance’.

The author Hedegaard is one of the few Danes who is a certified racist, as he some years ago was fined by a High Court for having stated in a blog interview that Muslim fathers rape their children. He was later acquitted by the Supreme Court.

Hmmm, where does one get one of those certificates? And since he was acquitted, isn’t he a “formerly certified racist” as he’d have lost his certified status?

I’m surprised we haven’t seen this bit of sorta good news at Hot Air, Ace, Drudge, Gateway pundit or any of the other news aggregators.

… jumped out a window from the family’s co-op apartment Wednesday afternoon with 10-month-old son Keston in her arms. She died instantly.

The baby survived by bouncing off his motionless mom’s chest upon impact.

I’m always in favor of them failing at the “murder” part of a “murder/suicide” deal.

Now I’m not saying they’re related, but Girls Gone Wild was hounded into bankruptcy and what happens the very next spring break?

Two masked men armed opened fire in a bar on the outskirts of the Mexican tourist resort of Cancun on Thursday, killing six people and wounding five,

While I abhor the violence, as a titty-man, I understand it.

Apparently illegal immigration causes global worming.

It’s one reason I feel it’s urgent that we get real immigration reform, allowing millions to step out of the shadows and on to a broad path toward citizenship. It will help, not hurt, our environmental efforts, and potentially in deep and powerful ways.

The biggest lack in today’s world are people who stand back and say, “You know, that’s pretty fucking ridiculous, maybe you should not say that.”, that’s why it’s often so funny out.

I’ve been wondering something lately, who will be the first con-blogger to be arrested for sedition.  Mike at Cold Fury has a list of some of the people I think are in the running.

I’m figuring it’s between the Emperor and Bob Owens.

I just realized that SMOD should be plan B, FrnakJ notes what we all used to know was Plan A.

So, what do you think should be the future of conservatism? I’m thinking conquering other planets. Going to other planets looks like the only realistic way to escape big government now.

Yup, Heinlein, in Time Enough For Love, I think, said that space travel hurt the Earth as freedom lovers escaped the increasing loss of freedom on Earth.

Just as immigration to America hurt EUnuchstan as all the freedom lovers left for America for generations.

In other words, I’ve been rooting for stuff traveling in the wrong direction! That’s pretty funny.

Round The Tubes: Newspeak Edition

Posted: March 13, 2013 by veeshir in Anklebiting rugrats, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP FAIL, Green Goofs, Jitardis, Liberal Fascism, Nanny State, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, You'll pry 'em from my cold dead hands
3

Who can ask for more?

Well, this is Ungood. Plus ungood!

The story posted on NBCNews.com alleges that NRA will not oppose expanding the background check system to include all private firearm sales, “provided the legislation does not require private gun sellers to maintain records of the checks”.  This statement is completely untrue.

 

The hell you say! How dare you contradict Minitrue!

 

Good or Ungood?

MSNBC Contributor Compares The Vatican To The Soviet Union…

Wow, so that means we’re supposed to be in favor of the Vat……oh wait, we’ve always been at war with the Soviet Union.

Ungood!

Four men — including the would-be groom — have been arrested for a marriage proposal stunt in which hundreds of motorcycles blocked a Southern California freeway, authorities said.

Only Big Brother.. Obama can tangle traffic for frivilous reasons.

Good Prole!

Wearing bulletproof vests and carrying 40-caliber Glock pistols, nine California Justice Department agents assembled outside a ranch-style house in a suburb east of Los Angeles. They were looking for a gun owner who’d recently spent two days in a mental hospital.

They knocked on the door and asked to come in. About 45 minutes later, they came away peacefully with three firearms….

She didn’t blame the attorney general’s agents for taking the guns based on the information they had, she said.

 

That’s the spirit. Gov’t knows best and good proles know their place, that’s why California is so enlightened!

Via Weasel Zippers, ungood. Very ungood.

A federal appeals judge has upheld most of a 2010 Arizona state law that prohibits school districts from offering coursework that endorses the overthrow of the United States government or stokes resentment toward a race or class of people.

How dare they!?!?!?!?!? Big Brother has declared that it’s okay to say white people are the cause of all evils!

It’s plus ungood that they’re actually questioning the gov’t!

Today the Department of Justice inspector general released a report on potential Labor secretary nominee Tom Perez’s DOJ Civil Rights Division. The timing of the release to coincide with his nomination was certainly accidental, because the report paints a damning portrait of the DOJ unit he managed.

The full report is here.

 The 250-page report offers an inside glimpse of systemic racialist dysfunction inside one of the most powerful federal government agencies.

Room 101 for them.

Good. Plus good in Lebanon!

Hezbollah’s “black shirts” will decide the coming president, prime minister, and cabinet.

Obama’s partners for peace!

I’m waiting for O’brien to tell me if this is good or ungood, so don’t have an opinion until I tell you the proper one.

Last week we saw some Syrian gov’t types ran from Syria and were being escorted by Iraqis when they were killed by freedom fighters, but we didn’t know which freedom fighters. Now we do.

Al Qaeda in Iraq claimed credit for the March 4 attack in Anbar province that killed 48 Syrian soldiers who were fleeing their civil war and nine Iraqi troops who were escorting them to Baghdad.

So al Quaeda is fighting Hezbollah and Iran? How am I supposed to know how to think when one group that Dear Leader killed personally is supposedly fighting another group that’s a partner for peace?

Good! Plusgood! Global Warming is so bad it’s causing blizzrds in England!

In the south of the UK, roads were blocked by snow and hundreds of drivers were trapped in their cars.

It’s so hot it’s snowing!

Which means that a doubeplusungood thing is more likely to happen what with all the warming!

Warming oceans could cause Earth’s axis to tilt in the coming century, a new study suggests. The effect was previously thought to be negligible, but researchers now say the shift will be large enough that it should be taken into account when interpreting how the Earth wobbles.

Oh noes!!!!!!

Bob Owens talks about some doubleplusgood, common sense gun regulations!

Take a looking at a sampling of what it Sebastian notes it would outlaw:

  • If you leave home for more than 7 days and leave anyone at home, that becomes a felony illegal transfer. 5 years in prison for each of you.
  • if you take a friend shooting and allow him to fire your gun, that is a felony illegal transfer. 5 years in prison for each of you.
  • If you have a gun lost or stolen and don’t report it within 24 hours, you’ve committed a felony. 5 years in prison.
  • If you lend a gun to someone for to try out at the range, provide a loaner for a student in training, let your son shoot a rifle you purchased while hunting, or provide a gun to a woman for self-defense, you’ve committed a felony. 5 years in prison for each of you.

That’s just scratching the surface. Make sure you read the rest about how it could Schumer’s law put gun dealers out of business, and create a de facto national registry… a prelude to confiscation.

 

It’s doubleplusgood that they’re keeping guns out of the wrong hands! And working on confiscation is the best way to start!

It’s doubleplusgood that McCain and Graham hate people because of McCain losing an election!

That Senator McCain harbors a grudge against “the Bushies” for the South Carolina primary defeat that ended his presidential run in 2000 is the worst kept secret in Washington. Having “his” candidate lose in his home state was also a blow to Graham. Known for his long memory, some Senate staffers joke the “R” behind McCain’s name is for “revenge.” Other quip Lindsey Graham is “the senator from McCain.”…

That weekend, McCain and Graham hit the Sunday talk show circuit expressing justifiable concern about Hagel’s qualifications for the job. But when Senator Cruz later asked Hagel equally hard-hitting questions in an Armed Services Committee meeting, McCain and Graham publicly raked him over the coals for being too tough on Hagel.

This left Beltway insiders and regular folk scratching their heads. Unless, of course, they remembered Cruz’s Bush association…..

So naturally, Lindsey Graham appeared on the Senate floor the next morning with a ridiculous sign comparing Americans killed in the U.S. by al-Qaeda (2,958) vs. drones (0.)

 

I have an illustration for whenever I mention Graham, it’s good that I did this!

little lord graham

 

 

Saturday In The Tubes

Posted: March 9, 2013 by veeshir in Exploding things, Fun With Media, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP Win!, Islam - a religion of tolerance and peace, Jitardis, Liberal Fascism, Nanny State, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, PEBKAC
3

I think it is the 40th of July.

It’s just that fucking ridiculous.

To update DPUD’s post,  we find this story about Colorado making it take a few seconds longer to put 30 rounds into a piece of paper. I had to find a story about it just to see how stupid it was.

“High-capacity magazines are designed to kill a large number of people in a short amount of time,” said Sen. Mary Hodge, D-Brighton, the bill’s sponsor.

Okay, that’s kind of stupid, but they’re not done plumbing the depths of brain damage. This one is my personal favorite.

… killed his own legislation aimed at banning concealed weapons on college campuses, …

First, what’s up with the violent imagery? Assault reporters need to have some common sense, 1st amendment curbs. But why did he assault his own bill?

“This bill is intended to prevent death,” said Heath. “The fact that it has been massaged to say it allows rape on college campuses is reprehensible.”

Ultimately, Democrats decided a floor debate on the campus ban wasn’t worth the political cost of allowing Republican lawmakers to attack them for rendering college women defenseless against attackers, as they’ve done since Monday, when Sen. Evie Hudak, D-Westminster, challenged a rape victim who testified in a committee hearing against the bill.

How dare they point out the stupidity of this common-sense legislation?!?!?!?!?!? The whole article is exactly what you’d expect from a Minitrue outlet.

My first three guns were Remington, and when I started buying other stuff I felt bad that I didn’t buy any Remingtons, my father liked them and I trusted them. Never again.

A group of New York state lawmakers says they’ve been told by Remington Arms that the company plans to spend $20 million upgrading its gun manufacturing plant in the Mohawk Valley.

Did you idiots learn nothing from Smith & Wesson? They obviously took the bribe from NYS lawmakers to stay. Eh, on the plus side, in a year or two someone will be able to buy Remington for a fraction of what it was worth last week and they can move it to a free state.

In, Don’t You Know Who We Are and How Dare You Not Give Us Everything We Ask For? news, via Doug Ross, we see a teacher’s strike where the school districts hired some subs to teach while the union types, who totally are striking for Teh Children, are out.  The union thugs reacted as union thugs do. With Intimidation.

It starts off by saying, ‘Do you know a scab lives in your neighborhood?’  It gives the gentleman’s name, his address, his telephone number, personal information. And then it says, ‘Why is he a scab?’ And it talks about him crossing the picket line in Strongsville,” said Dubecky.

Fuck you.

Hagel went to Afghanistan so Obama’s Partners For Peace decided to welcome him.

A suicide bomber wearing a vest bomb struck outside the Afghan defense ministry on Saturday, killing at least 10 people in a blast just hours after Chuck Hagel, the new United States defense secretary, arrived here in Kabul.

And a short time later, another suicide bomber detonated his explosive in eastern Afghanistan before reaching his target, but killed eight children and a policeman, according to Afghan military and hospital officials.

Boy fucking savages acting like boy fucking savages. Whodathunkit?

Speaking of the various types of people who are Obama’s Partners For Peace,

On March 3, 2013, a group of “pro-peace” agitators organized by CODEPINK Women for Peace and Interfaith Peace-Builders made noise outside the Washington, D.C. Convention Center to harass the 12,000-plus participants attending the American Israel Public Affairs Committee’s annual Policy Conference. Its activities were characterized by angry screaming and chants for a violent uprising: “Long live the intifada… intifada, intifada!”

Well duh. They’re not anti-war, they’re on the other side. Recall that Intifadas always begin with terrorists sending children to throw rocks while snipers fire at Israelis from behind them.

In News Of The Duh!, we see that Hezbollah and the Dorktator in Syria are trying to destabilize Lebanaon.

Lebanese political sources in contact with NOW claim that the Syrian regime and its Lebanese ally Hezbollah, fearing rebel advancements in Syria, have shifted their attention towards Lebanon and are now seeking to disrupt its political life.

Hmmm, maybe that should be “News From the 70s”, eh, either way it’s what Syria and the terrorists in the Party Of God do.

This really pisses me off, as Obama is talking about how important it is to send everybody to school, he’s cutting the money for tuition assistance for the military.

The Army announced Friday it is suspending its tuition assistance program for soldiers newly enrolling in classes due to sequestration

The problem is these people won’t be taking Gender Studies classes, they’ll learn something useful. And for that they can never be forgiven!

Chavez’ thug in waiting becomes Thug In Chief!

Chavez’s chosen successor was sworn in at a ceremony just hours after the former leader’s state funeral on March 8.

I guess the secret policeman won (that’s the article about Maduro, secret policeman, and Cabello the military thug. You know that makes Obama happy. He loves people who hate Amerikkka and he’s more in favor of secret police than the military.

Some Drone-Strike on America news.

First, we have Rand Paul saying, I’ve only begun to make futile gestures! (warning, Wash Post link, but it’s Rand Paul’s OpEd).

Sen. Rand Paul: My filibuster was just the beginning

Cool. Keep fucking with the Drone-Strike-In-Chief.

Next, we have the military hiding their drone-strike data.

As scrutiny and debate over the use of remotely piloted aircraft (RPA) by the American military increased last month, the Air Force reversed a policy of sharing the number of airstrikes launched from RPAs in Afghanistan and quietly scrubbed those statistics from previous releases kept on their website.

You see, we can’t have the hoi polloi getting the wrong (read, right) idea.

Mark Steyn pisses me off. Just when I think I’m paranoid enough I read something he wrote.

When you consider the resources brought to bear against a nobody like Randy Weaver for no rational purpose, is it really so “far-fetched” to foresee the Department of Justice deploying drones to the Ruby Ridges and Wacos of the 2020s?

Bastid!

Round the Tubes: Getting Mah Teh Funny Back!

Posted: March 5, 2013 by veeshir in China, Exploding things, FAIL, Fun with Elections, Fun With Media, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP FAIL, Hotassery, Jitardis, Liberal Fascism, Mideast Madness, Moron of the Day, Nanny State, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault
3

I tried yesterday, but I was forcing it, it just wasn’t funny. But this morning I got a good belly laugh. I’ll save that story for a while.

Let’s start in Iraq.  Remember how we overthrew the Ba’athist Party (like Ba’al worship but with more baby killing) in Iraq?

As many as 40 Syrian soldiers and government employees have been killed by unidentified gunmen in Iraq.

They were among a group of Syrian nationals who crossed the border into Iraq to escape a Syrian rebel attack last week.

Iraqi officials were escorting the group to the Syrian border when they came under fire in the town of Akashat in Anbar province.

Authorities say a number of Iraqi soldiers were also killed in the ambush.

So are we allies with Syria now as J Effin Kerry is offering money to the people fighting them? Obama does like to fight both sides of any conflict (except against me).

In boy-fucking savage news, Obama’s partners for peace are helping Pakistani soldiers be all peaceful.

The Movement of the Taliban in Pakistan released a videotape on the fighting in the Mehsud areas of South Waziristan which includes graphic footage of the mutilation of several Pakistani soldiers who appear to have been killed in a firefight last summer

First, you have to admit that it’s kind of funny that the same boy-fucking, murderous, torturers who love to mutilate…well everybody and everything got their turbans in a bunch when some Marines pissed on their dead.

Also, I finally figured something out, when Taliban types say Religion of Peace, they mean “peaceful as the grave”, I feel so stupid I never figured that out before.

I call bullshit on this, but you have to respect the idiocy.

An Israeli soldier desecrated a Quran when he kicked it during a [religious] teaching workshop in the Al-Aqsa Mosque courtyards, and hit female students participating in the workshop,

Wait, no you don’t. Another example of exporting our values, we all know Minitrue just makes shit up to attack their enemies (me).

But you’d think that people who have set rules for how to beat the women they own would think of something other to accuse Israel of. Eh, it makes them murderously happy, so that’s all that matters.

Intellesting, the Norks have said they’re not abiding by the cease-fire.

North Korea warned it will cancel the Korean War cease-fire agreement on March 11

Apcray, there are two things wrong with that. First, where’s fucking McArthur when you need him?

Second, I turn 50 later on this month and I have a bunch of bets riding on me making it to 50 (you wouldn’t believe the odds I got 30 years ago), how fucking much would it suck if I lost that bet because the fucking Norks KILL US ALL!!!!!!!?

Eh, that’s all the overseas links I have. Let’s go back to America! My favorite country, it’s where I keep all my shit.

First, I can’t decide if this is funny, very funny, or endishly funny.

Jeb Bush has been making the rounds, calling me a racist hater who hates me some immigrants.

“It relates to this question of, we want your vote but we really don’t want you (asians V) on our team.”

Eh, standard Bush fare after all. Just cuz it’s lefties attacking McConnell for his slant-eyed wife, we all know the GOP is where the racism is.

This is where where You Make The Call!, this is the part I mean.

Bush, who would be a leading contender for the 2016 GOP presidential nomination if he chooses to run

A leader for the GOP nomination? I guess, if the GOP has decided they just don’t want anybody but the establishment to vote GOP next election. I would think he’s more likely to be running on another party’s ticket.

I was just thinking about how hilarious it would be if we went Bush-Clinton-Bush-Obama-Bush, with the twist at the end that Bush III runs as a Dem!

Think about it, Obama is not going to make Bush’ mistake, he’s going to jettison Biden before his last year so he can have an electable VP to run (Or he’s going to try to run a third time, but I’m not into that paranoia yet), so why not Bush? It’s so fucking hilariously infuriating that it just might happen!

In more, “We have no idea what the fuck is going on” GOP news, we read this,

The National Republican Senatorial Committee plans to expand its press operation to train campaigns earlier in the cycle on how to better handle the kind of candidate missteps that have plagued its party’s nominees.

The goal? To avoid what’s become known in GOP circles as “Todd Akin moments.”

You idiots want to avoid a “moment”? How about you avoid a McCain/Graham moment?

Nahhhh, they know how to win elections. Let’s be Dem lite! People like Dems, they’ll like Dem Lite even more! It’s worked so well the last two presidential elections!

As we all know, the Menendez deal is All About Sex(tm), so the Wash Post found some hooker to say, “I lied about Menendez”. So the Daily Caller notices, Hey, that’s the wrong hooker! A problem though, the Wash Post isn’t likely to post corrections, you can’t make a story All About Sex(tm) if you keep confusing people with corrections. And the few tens of thousands of people who will see the Daily Caller link? They’re just Tea Bagging assholes who can be safely ignored.

A little WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!! from the sequester news.

First, just cuz they’re going to be furloughing a billion gov’t workers doesn’t mean they need to stop hiring critical workers.

Agriculture Department said it needs three “insect production workers” to help grow bollworms in Phoenix.

You have to admit, that’s a nice touch.

At first glance this will make Radley Balko happy. The Navy is getting out of the war on drugs.

U.S. Navy frigates will stop patrolling for drug runners by April because of forced sequestration budget cuts

Until he realizes that it will just mean domestic law-enforcement will just  have to spend more time and energy kicking down old ladies’ doors to shoot them and their little dogs too.

Sean at the NC Gun Blog (he of the NYS Boycott,) also writes about various gun-related things in his area, like this choir-boy who was shot. But that’s not why I’m linking, I’m linking for the rap sheet Sean linked. Fucking guy kept being convicted of various crimes (including multiple, felon with a gun charges) and the only sentence he served fully was a 90 day sentence. He had one sentence that was a mininum of 16 months and a maximum of 20 months. He served 5.

Less than 1/3 of what they claimed was the “miniumum” for a felon who was caught for repeatedly breaking gun laws. But if some poor fool in NYS puts more than 7 rounds in his 10/22 magazine as he’s terrorizing some tin cans,  he’ll go to jail for just as long or longer.

I did learn something from that boycott, Vltor is pronounce “Ultor”, they use the Roman U. So when you call them “Ultor” you’ll have the satisfaction of some tool correcting you and snottily saying, “It’s V-L Tor”.

In Notes On Crushing the Revolution, we see Missouri working with DHS to start a nice, registration scheme.

It’s as if there’s a rush to see who can spark the revolution.

In, It Sure Is A Good Thing Obama Is So Weakened He Won’t Be Able To Nominate Unfit Judges news, we see Kagan and Sotomayor acting as we expect lefties to act.  Making up their minds long before they hear the facts of the case and browbeating anybody and everybody who disagrees with them. It’s too long to excerpt, read the whole thing if you have a problem getting started in the morning and you’re out of coffee or Red Bull.

This one makes me laugh.  We’re going to have THE HIGHEST TAX REVENUE EVAH!!!!!!!!!!! this year, according to projections that ignore reality. Repeat after me, the CBO’s projections are wishful thinking piled on an ignorance of reality. I look forward to articles next year that talk about how low tax receipts are. When Bush cut taxes we had high tax receipts, when people raise taxes, what they take in goes down. I’d suggest you ask NY and CA pols about that, but they just can’t figure that out even after decades of watching it happen.

In hopeful news, Texas outlaws drones taking pictures. (they make it clear the camera-vehicle is unmanned).

That’s a slashdot link, they seem to think it’s directed at people like them taking pictures on other’s land, probably. But it’s also directed at the gov’t, they include satellites, so it’s for google and the gov’t.

It’s about being private on your own land. I’m all in favor of that. When I get my compound in the desert, it’s gonna have tank traps and AA, so I kind of hope they send their Cox Skyspy/Skybomber to my land.

In very surprising news, Christians are now the most oppressed religion in the world. I’d guess that’s because all the places that really hate the Jews have either killed them all or driven them out.

Enough of the endy, let’s get to the funny. There are just so many today you’d better take a big sip of your coffee now. I’ll wait.

I occasionally take Lindsey Lohan (tits, hey google!) in S. Weasel’s Dead Pool, saying, “She’ll be found floating in Charlie Sheen’s pool”.

Charlie Sheen has already paid a portion of Lindsay Lohan’s taxes, and now he’s offering to officially be her mentor,

Stoaty’s next Dead Pool starts Friday, so none of you take my pick!

Via i Own the World (then fix it!), we find a story that saddens me.

A popular horse show in Ocala is under quarantine after six cases of equine herpesvirus were linked to the Marion County showground.

Okay, which one of you has been to Florida lately? I haven’t been there in two years.

Via Zilla at Batshit Crazy News, we find this bit of catshit crazy news.

I’m Nala. 20 years old. Cis, vegan, multiracial, bisexual, demisexual, pagan, plural, catkin, (emphasis added V)witch.

My preferred pronouns are: chim, chimself, cher, cherself, che, chi.

She’s a cat trapped in a human’s body.

Seriously, I would love to go back to 1958 and try to explain this century. You know they’d all say, “See? We told you Rock and Roll would destroy America!” and I wouldn’t be able to argue. I mean, look at what it did to the 80s?

Harvey at IMAO channels his inner Joe Biden (I figure by repeated blows to the head), and continues Slo Joe’s Field and Stream interview. What makes it either very fucking funny or not funny at all is that it’s hard to tell Harvey’s post from the Field and Stream interview.

JOE BIDEN: Well, that’s true Joe. And, you know I keep hearing this malarkey about how Barack and I want to take your guns away and, frankly, I don’t know how this stuff gets started. Listen to me! Listen to what I say here! No one, I mean no one is coming to take your guns! People, get real here!

LIBERAL INTERVIEWER: So then, what exactly are you and the president calling for?

JOE BIDEN: What Barack is proposing has nothing to do with the Second Amendment. And, let me say this again! No one is coming to take your guns. All we’re proposing is just much needed, common sense legislation that will make it a federal offense for a private citizen to own a firearm.

Heh. Sort of. I guess.

Wait, that’s not fucking funny at all!

And the big finish. Stop cheering you jerks.

Via Doug Ross, we see this cop blog from Chicago getting all hilarious.

The city is so short of cars that they are handling out “rentals” to detectives and to sergeants working VRI! Chevy Impalas with NO emergency equipment.

With this comment making me laugh, but many of the comments are awesome.

Yes it is true, in the D unit anyway. We have a car with some BS lights but no siren. It would make a lot more sense to give the bosses the “non police” rental cars and trickle down their unmarkeds to us. That will never happen though because they’ve “earned” their take home police cars!!

I can understand why they’re short on cop cars, I saw this high-speed pursuit on, I think, Foxnews the other day where they wrecked like hundreds of cop cars chasing two guys in black suits.

I mentioned “tits”, so you know what that means! Pictures of titlarks below the fold! Just don’t tell cher, che might come and eat them.

(more…)

No, I Don’t Have A Snow-White Tan And Other Alleged Things

Posted: March 4, 2013 by veeshir in China, Exploding things, FAIL, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP FAIL, Islam - a religion of tolerance and peace, Jitardis, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault
6

I live in AZ after all.

You know, I’m beginning to wonder if David Bowie was gay.

NYS Boycott up to 117.  Yay!

A drudgetaposition

Kataeb calls for making Lebanon-Syria border “military zone“

On The Border of War.

A little more jihadi news.

There really is nobody to root for in Yemen, al Quaeda in Yemen,  allegedly, we don’t know for sure, that’s what the murderous, Yemeni dictatorship calls anybody they don’t like) blew up a truck bomb.

But check this quote

A suicide car bomb driven by a suspected Al-Qaeda militant on Monday rammed into a building in south Yemen used by pro-government militiamen

So pretty much jihadi v jihadi.

Crush at Blackfive (link added) writes about China allegedly getting all frisky in the South China Sea says the quote that Americans used to understand as we learned it the hard way (WWII)

But whether or not China starts World War III, let’s at least realize that toothless, corrupt treaties are no replacement for naval superiority.

Yup. Too bad we have to keep relearning hard-earned lessons.

Unfortunately, we talk loudly and keep our big sticks in Norfolk. Right now we have 4 nukular aircraft carriers in Norfolk. (Plus the Enterprise that’s being retired).

Some interesting news.

Noting that Azerbaijan currently meets 40% of Israel’s demands on energy resources, the ambassador underscored the importance of high-level official visits in terms of further deepening the existing relations.

No seriously, I would have figured that being an eastern European country, they’d be all about Teh Jew Hating. You learn something new every day.

To steal a bit, News of the Tautological

I doubt that there will be any vigorous US policy in the South Caucasus in the near future.

Well duh, he only has vigorous policies designed to fuck with me.

In more Obama hilarity,

Obama is done trying to work with Republicans in 2013 and 2014. He is abandoning any real effort for bipartisan immigration, gun, or energy reform.

Bwahahahahahahhahahahaha. Cuz I Won has worked so well with everybody up to now. I mean, it’s not as if the Dems rammed a reordering of 1/6th of our economy using some stupid Senate trick.

I had a go-round with someone here about “needing” a gun where I said that I refuse to explain why I need anything. I understand I don’t use the right words, I know them, I just don’t like using them.

Steven den Beste, at Ace’s, explains it better than I do.

I can’t have anything unless I can prove I need it? Since when? So now is it the case that everything which isn’t provably necessary is instead forbidden?

Bingo, bango, bongo.

One of the things that cracks me up is two people looking at the same thing, saying the same thing yet meaning exactly the opposite. Robert Reich talking about Tea Party types.

Imagine a plot to undermine the government of the United States, to destroy much of its capacity to do the public’s business, and to sow distrust among the population.

Well yeah, that’s the whole fucking point, but he says it like it’s a bad thing.

For the last 30 years or a little longer NYS has been discussing making gambling legal in some upstate counties.

They were shooting for, I think, Ulster County.

There was a Friar who allegedly said there was Tuck ed an alleged Inn allegedly in alleged Ulster County that, allegedly according to alleged rumors I’ve heard from alleged people who allegedly saw it first hand (“you’ll see stuff, remember, you didn’t see nothing” allegedly), was allegedly mob-owned and allegedly already had the alleged tables and alleged rooms for alleged gambling and were allegedly in use but the pols just kept allegedly not making it legal.

Allegedly. This all stopped happening a long time ago, shortly after the Catskill Game Farm closed. Allegedly.

I always figured alleged mobsters in alleged Atlantic City or maybe certain alleged Indian tribes allegedly out-bribed the alleged mobsters who were allegedly trying to get gambling in Ulster County. That’s usually the way to bet  in NYS politics. Allegedly.

So the owner of Aqeduct, which apparently isn’t just a horse track but has some gambling that’s not full blown casino stuff, finally figured that the outside mobsters bribes were too large is going to spend his money building a casino in Vegas.

The operator of the Aqueduct gambling parlor is going to roll the dice in Vegas.

Not content with waiting for New York State to legalize Vegas-style casinos, Malaysian-based Genting announced today its building a multi-billion dollar, full-fledged casino resort complex on the Vegas strip.

Up the alleged bribes alleged dude.

Eh, that’s enough, allegedly, for today.

In Through The Out Tube

Posted: March 4, 2013 by veeshir in Catholicism, Edumakashun, Exploding things, FAIL, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP FAIL, Islam - a religion of tolerance and peace, Jitardis, Liberal Fascism, Mideast Madness, Nanny State, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, PEBKAC
1

Well there’s a link in your eye that keeps shining.

There is not a lot of love to be found, but why don’t you click some and make it all right?

I went to Kenya in 84, it was awesome. The people were cool, they liked Americans and only tried to sell me stuff (of course, I kept my cigs in my shirt pocket so many people helped themselves with a grin). That was about a year after their last civil war. One tribe  controlled the Air Force while another tribe, Danial arap Moi’s, controlled the Army. The Army won (yay!, the other tribe wanted to kill whitey). It looks as if the tribal war is heating up.

Just before the polls opened it was reported that four policemen were hacked to death by a gang of machete-wielding youths in the area of Mombasa.

Apcray.  It’s too bad, Kenya was awesome. If you’re ever in a Swahili-speaking country, umbili beer burridisan (phonetic) means “2  beers cold please”.

In more murderous African news, we at least get some hilarity .

headline

Sudan Ramps Up Its Persecution of Christians

How exactly does that work? They’ve been killing and enslaving Christians for a long time now, how do you ramp up murder, rapine, expulsion from their land and slavery? Are they signing them up for magazine subscriptions they don’t want?

And lest the people of Darfur start thinking the murderous  Religion of Peace-ists running the country have forgotten them, they’re killing them too!

Sudan breached UN sanctions by using warplanes and rockets bought from Belarus and Russia in the Darfur conflict,

Business as usual in other words, with Russia and their pet dictator in Belarus providing peaceful weapons in a peaceful manner (peaceful as a grave).

But there is some interesting news, apparently there’s a civil war going on and the rebels are not doing too shabbily.

The fight for El Kurmuk — which Sudan’s army has denied — is the most serious for more than a year in Blue Nile state, which has been largely sealed from the outside world.

“There has been heavy fighting since the start of this week,” said the source, who cannot be identified.

Rebels claimed on Sunday to have pushed into Kurmuk’s southwest.

I’ll tell you what, generals might not want to get involved in a land war in Asia, but nobody wants to get involved in any fucking war in Africa. Being hacked partially apart with a machete or being shot by a 9 year old with an AK is so commonplace as to be not even notable.

Plagues in Egypt. I’ve read that book, it doesn’t end well.

The last time I respected a Law & Order episode was about female genital mutilation, that was a time when lefties almost (they came so close) admitted that some cultures just suck. It’s still going on and the only way to eradicate it is to stop pretending that brutal, murderous cultures don’t suck.

That’s enough African barbarity, I just can’t take it. When I was young I used to wonder why I deserved to be born in America and not there. That’s when I realized that it’s best not to think about it, just be grateful.

Speaking of murderous cultures that suck, I see a shortage of meat hooks for dragging people through the streets on the horizon.

Gaza’s Hamas rulers say they will begin a new campaign to find Palestinian collaborators with Israel.

Yay…?

I had some other middle east stuff, but just accept they’re working on killing everybody.

In an article about the criteria for the new pope I learned an awesome new word,  “Papabile”. It means that you’re considered in the running for Pope. Let’s see if I can work it into a sentence.

I’m palpably unpapabile!

Let’s go to America! I live there so it interests me.

In an update to the article about the kid being suspended for tackling another kid with a gun on a bus, we find it’s not so cut and dried. Jay at MaRooned finds some other stuff.

The boy’s mother told Fox4Now.com her son was suspended because he refused to cooperate with the investigation, adding that he was scared.

I’m not sure if that’s a mitigating fact, but apparently there could be more to the story than zero-tolerance assholes.

In more school hilarity, a kid raps out the lyrics from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air as his voice mail, school idjit calls to leave message, freaks out, calls cops because of threat (the fool didn’t understand what he meant by “shooting B-ball”). so the school was locked down and the kid was arrested. They let him go, but this is the part in every one of these misunderstandings that’s a perfect microcosm of America in the 21st Century.

Acting police Chief James Mann says police acted “appropriately” out of concern for students’ welfare.

Yeah, because you assholes actually listening to the “threat” before dispatching SWAT would have been too much like police work. Fuck you.

Via Gateway Pundit we find out that Obama isn’t happy with just an RC armada aimed at me, they need the vehicles (MRAPs) the Marines use in Iraq and Afghanistan for use against me. Ladies, gentlemen, readers of this blog I give you:

The new DHS sanctioned ‘Street Sweeper’ (my own slang due to the gun ports)…

I keel you

You have to love the “rescue” on the side. That’s just so perfectly Orwellian/Obamian.

Shit. Now we’re going to need tank traps and pitfalls as well as AA.

Speaking of which, a puppy blender post in its entirety (chopped into two quotes)

BOEHNER: We’ll consider any gun measures that pass the Senate. Some are upset about this, but I think it’s more a way of putting endangered Dems in the Senate on the spot, channeling Kurt Schlichter.

That’s hilarious, the only time Boehner uses machiavellian tactics is on me.

More

Related: Sen. Joe Manchin Really Doesn’t Want To Talk About Guns. “Editor’s note: This question and answer session was permitted under the condition that The Journal would not ask questions regarding gun control legislation or the Second Amendment, as requested by the senator’s staff.”

Get it? You can’t ask a Dem a wedge issue question. Remember folks, Petite lap giraffe good, petite lap press bad.

In a follow up on the story of the guy in Indiana jailed for pissing off the Laird (judge) of the land, lots of people are pissed off.

The group is led by University of California Los Angeles law professor Eugene Volokh and includes conservative lawyer James Bopp, a former executive director of the Indiana Civil Liberties Union, the Indiana Association of Scholars, The Indianapolis Star and the James Madison Center for Free Speech.

Good. But this part scares me.

It also argued their truthfulness were not necessarily relevant to prosecution because the harm, which in this case was striking fear in the victim, occurred “whether the publicized conduct is true or false,

I thought truth was a defense in America? Oh right, I forgot, you can’t piss of the powerful or they’ll send their RC air force and MRAPs after you.

In more revolution news, Alaska is working on a bill to tell the feds to fuck off if they try to take guns. Good.

So the USS Harry Truman (the buck stops before getting there) is in dock because they can’t afford to fuel it as the State Dept. spends a half $billion on global warmmongering. I hate paying for someone else’ religion.

Which is scarier, a rope swing across a canyon

The behind-the-scenes video describes it as a “400-foot free fall pendulum rope swing between a slot canyon.”

or this?

Don’t forget, if it’s not GONNA KILL US ALL!!!! it’s just not funny enough.

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