Archive for the ‘The Joys of Parenting’ Category

A modest proposal

Posted: April 8, 2013 by Sean M. in Fun With Media, L.L.A.P.H., Liberal FAIL, Liberal Fascism, Moron of the Day, The Joys of Parenting
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You might have heard about some recent controversial comments made by MSNBC commentator and Tulane professor Melissa Harris-Perry regarding the rearing of children. Of course, since she’s on MSNBC, it’s entirely possible that you haven’t heard about these comments or about the existence of Ms. Harris-Perry in general, so I think I’ll let her speak for herself:
 

 
Now, among certain people (teabagging racists and the like, mostly) this has caused a bit of a stir. Again, I’ll let Ms. Harris-Perry tell you about it:

 
It’s nice to see that she’s not letting the critics get her down. That said, in spite of the fact that we should really be taking a hard look at notions of collective responsibility in this age of Shared Sacrifice™ there are some people who bitterly cling to their progeny even tighter than their guns or their religion. (See, again, racist teabaggers).
 
So I would like to propose that we start with something a tad less controversial. Namely, the bathroom. Specifically, her bathroom. Hear me out…
 
Melissa Harris-Perry has never invested as much in public restrooms as she should have because Melissa Harris-Perry has always had this notion that her bathroom belongs to her. She hasn’t had this collective notion that “This is our bathroom.” So, part of it is, she has to break through this notion that her bathroom belongs to her, or belongs to her family, and recognize that the bathroom belongs to the whole community. Once it’s the whole community’s responsibility, and not just the household’s, then she starts making better investments.
 
So there you go, Melissa. The ball is in your court. Oh, and we’re out of toilet paper, the crapper is clogged, the mirror is covered in graffiti, someone stole the taps from the sink, and there are a bunch of used condoms and needles in the corner.
 
Yeah.

Kagogi The Destroyer

Posted: September 18, 2012 by veeshir in Exploding things, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, PEBKAC, The Joys of Parenting
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Ahhhhh, Kagogi the Destroyer, he started out so cute.

That’s when he was just Kagogi, a 2 month old pound mutt. The dog catcher found him and his brother at less than 2 months on the side of the road. He was just fur and bones and so darn cute.

Then his destructive proclivities made their appearance and he got his full name.

I have an extensive set from the Kagogi Signature Collection. Hardcover books, shoes, luggage, hats, furniture, you name it.

I don’t have a recent pic, rather, I don’t have a good recent one. Kago doesn’t stay still for long enough to get a picture.

I do have a recent picture of my doorknob. I flew to NY so I couldn’t take him, I left him home and had a neighbor feed him and take him for walks. Kago knows what my black bag means, it means I’m going away. When he sees it, he starts to freak. Almost always he comes with me, I’ve left him maybe 4 or 5 times and usually I had a roommate. In 2006 I went to the Olympics and my buddy came over to let him out and what not so I figured it would work again.

Sigh. I guess he wanted to go outside.

I have three windows, two in the living room and one in the bedroom. I now have to get new blinds for each window, fix the molding (you can just barely see it) and get a new doorknob. I’m leaving the doorknob till I move lest I forget his full name.

Good trip, crappy homecoming. The only reason the dog isn’t Korean BBQ and a fur coat right now is because I don’t need a fur coat in AZ. Lucky dog. It was nice to get back to AZ so I didn’t need to wear socks.

Contra Berk, Troy (Schenectady rather) was fucking cold. I had to wear long pants, socks, shoes and a sweatshirt to the airport. Landing in AZ was beautiful.

Teaching our children life skills

Posted: September 9, 2012 by aliceaitch in Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Parent of the Day, The Joys of Parenting
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What’s the first thing *you* think of when you hear the word ‘spinner‘?

I like to think of them as Darwinballs…

Posted: August 1, 2012 by aliceaitch in Anklebiting rugrats, Nanny State, Parent of the Day, The Joys of Parenting
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The CPSC has banned the sale of Buckyballs, ridding us of one of the easiest ways to weed out children whose parents are too stupid to breed.  (Srsly, who lets their 4-year-old play with rare earth magnets?)

Frank Miller for toddlers

Posted: October 20, 2011 by aliceaitch in Anklebiting rugrats, Parent of the Day, The Joys of Parenting
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Six years ago this December, I was on bed rest while pregnant with my daughter.  I got the DVD of Sin City for Christmas, and while my son went to take his afternoon nap my husband, my mother-in-law, and I cued up the movie.  We didn’t realize that my son had awakened up from his nap until we heard giggling coming from the staircase in response to a severed head bouncing down the street.

Daddies and daughters

Posted: September 13, 2011 by aliceaitch in Anklebiting rugrats, The Joys of Parenting
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A beautiful blog post of 50 rules for dads of daughters.

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Good news for a change

Posted: August 7, 2011 by Sean M. in The Joys of Parenting, Win!
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Veteran Moron Rosetta and his wife welcomed a brand new baby boy into the world today! Go over to The Hostages and say hello to Henry Wayne Rosetta. NOW!

Slice of life

Posted: May 29, 2011 by Sean M. in FAIL, The Joys of Parenting
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I just went out to get a pack of smokes, and there was an impatient-looking guy ahead of me in the checkout line who was maybe 18 to 20 years old. What was he in a hurry to buy? Not beer with a fake ID. Not condoms (more on that in a second). Not lottery tickets.

No, he was picking up one of these.

GOOD LUCK!!!

I wonder why Indiana wants to defund Planned Parenthood?

Posted: May 3, 2011 by aliceaitch in Catholicism, Conservatism, The Joys of Parenting
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Surely genocide and the death of the unborn is something every state should aspire to.

Planned Parenthood is preparing to fight in court for its government funding in Indiana, should Governor Mitch Daniels follow through on his promise to sign a bill defunding the abortion giant, the first of its kind in the country to become law.

Gov. Daniels is expected to sign the legislation this week.

Planned Parenthood of Indiana (PPIN) has called the defunding bill an “assault against women.”

Why Indiana would want to take away the cash flow for an organization that does so much good for women, especially those who are underage or underprivileged and not in a position to defend themselves, is beyond me.

(via CatholicTide)

Baby Moron Library

Posted: April 26, 2011 by aliceaitch in The Joys of Parenting, Zombies!
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A few morons are expecting younguns to be arriving into their household over the next several months.  In honor of this, I thought it would be nice to put together a must-have list of books for their baby library.

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