Archive for the ‘The Little Screen’ Category

Hazzard Flag

Posted: June 22, 2015 by socklessjoe in Op/Sped, The Little Screen
Tags: , ,

Growing up as poor white Yankee trash, my first exposure to the Confederate battle flag was the Dukes of Hazzard.

Of course, as a youngster, I had no idea the significance of the flag, or the appellation “General Lee”. I just saw some dudes -who were clearly the good guys- sticking it to the Powers That Be…


…and driving an impossibly awesome car (-with a horn that played “Dixie” no less).

(Alas, I was also too young to appreciate the tremendous… talent that Catherine Bach brought to the show.)

And it is in this gallantly rebellious spirit that I know many view the Southern Cross. As Ace put it, it often means “fuck you”.


We still need a “fuck you” sign. It’s a shame that the rebel flag carries so much baggage.

I guess there’s Gadsden…

Rand Paul is shown here tilting at the right windmills, it’s a “The Hill” link (Minitrue franchisee) but it has Rand Paul saying something like (I don’t feel like doing the quote exactly)

Obama is saying I have no intention to drone-kill Americans when he should be saying he has no right to do so.


Bingo. I did go to Foxnews to look for the video but they wanted me to watch :26 seconds of an ad to see a minute of video, they surely have the right to do that, just like I have the right to not waste my time watching what they want me to.

It’s too bad, I saw the interview yesterday and I was wondering if they left in the part where he was talking about Obama talking about sequestration. He said that Obama was a liar 4 different ways, it looked as if he was trying to soften it like the vid the other day, but this time he went on and said it was “dishonest, disingenuous…” I can’t remember the rest of the words he used, but his Roget’s thesaurus must be dog-eared at “liar”.



Speaking of Obama’s Cox Skybomber armada, they’re admitting they’re bringing it to America!

Remember folks, birdshot doesn’t bring them down unless you hit just the right spot but you might not have a tight enough pattern if you use buckshot, so I’d get a few different loads and see what works best.

I read in Valdez is Coming, a western that was made into a Burt Lancaster movie, that the guy melted beef tallow into his shotgun shells and it kept their pattern very tight for a distance. If anybody knows about that, let me know, that might be a good drone-load.


It’s funny, as Obama is deploying his drones to watch (kill?) me, the military is grounding the planes used to kill furriners.

They found a cracked engine blade in an F-35 so they’re all grounded. Yay! My only problem is that it’s only 51 of them, c’mon guys, it’s not funny unless it’s over 200 and maybe a whole carrier wing is grounded or something. Listen, we’re not ALL GONNA DIE!!!!  if you morons keep pussy-footing around.


Now, I hate to laugh at a brave man killed performing a thankless duty, so I won’t, I will laugh at the idjit “journalist”

First, check out the headline

Little impact in violent Mexican border city after police chief disappears, brothers slain


So…. what sort of impact were you expecting? Less violence? Free puppies for all children? The thugs running the city killed the guy who was trying to make an impact you moh-rons.

Now, a conundrum.

In one of Mexico’s most violent border cities, no one is saying what happened to Police Chief Roberto Balmori Garza.


Hmmm, I wonder if there are any clues?

It’s been a week since he went missing from Nuevo Laredo and the local news media have reported nothing, even after two of his brothers showed up murdered in a neighboring state on Feb. 17. One of them was an agent for the federal Attorney General’s Office.

Eh, probably just went to Hawaii for a little vacay. I wonder how scared people are in this violent town.
City spokesman Juan Jose Zarate said the local government has no confirmation that Balmori Garza disappeared, only that he has not come to work.
Well, nobody’s seen him in a long time, but that doesn’t mean he’s disappeared!
I would bet a dollar that Juan Jose Zarate knows exactly where the sheriff is. The first time I saw this movie, with Audie Murphy playing the part of the sheriff who replaces the not-missing sheriff, the good guys won. Somehow, with Obama selling guns to the bad guys, I’m not so sanguine.
I’ve given up on hoping for the best in Syria, rather, I’ve decided the best outcome in Syria is for me not to pay attention.
Sigh, once in a while I can’t do that. It’s just too good a lesson on History. Only one (maybe two) revolutions have not been taken over by just a different set of thugs (America and the Dutch, although they threw off a foreign yoke not their own rulers) and we’re seeing the normal course of affairs playing out in real time.
So in this case we see the gov’t has lost control over their country, they’re actually fighting for their second biggest airport, and since it’s an airport in a vicious dictatorship

The rebels have cut off the highway the army has been using to transport troops and supplies to a military base within the airport complex. The airport east of the city is part of a complex that includes a smaller military airfield and the base.

That means the jihadis getting a military base too.  Yay! Jihadis in MiGs and Mirages! And they won’t be aiming for Israel! That’s unexpected. The FEOCE! doesn’t always run in predictable patterns, that’s what makes it so fun.
As a math teacher, I have to say I’m glad I read this story.
One question stated the number of slaves who died while taking over a ship. It asked how many slaves were still alive. The other said a slave was whipped five times a day and asked students to calculate how many times a month he was whipped.
I’m in Arizona, so I’ll use word-problems like, “There are 20 soldiers and 10 women in the fort, if only 5 soldiers remembered to save two bullets at the end instead of just one,  how many white women were killed and raped by Injuns?”
Topical is the way to go.
Okay, this one is absolutely chillingly hilarious. When I was learning my mistrust of people there were three classes of people who I trusted implicitly: Kindergarten teachers, 1st grade teachers and school nurses.

A Franklin County kindergarten teacher has been charged with trying to have her ex-husband killed and a school nurse is accused of helping her.

Jeebus, now I have to wonder what the hell the 1st grade teacher in that school is doing.
Let’s end this on Good News From Texas.
First, the very first blog post ever, Travis’ letter to everybody saying, “WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!” (my hero), has been returned to the Alamo.
Makes me hope that this blog, containing all my “WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!” posts, is returned to the home for the criminally insane when I die.
Texas man ventilates bad guy! He was heard to say, “What are your insides doing on the outside you dumb bastard?”
Or not, but I hope so.
Two of the three were arrested later on, the third was heard to say, “”
Cuz he’s dead.

Danny Husk, District Attorney

Posted: November 16, 2012 by doubleplusundead in Random Crap, The Little Screen

A DA in NY has admitted that he was a porn star in the early 70s.  Not quite a full pornstache, but you know he could rock one if he wanted to.  Seriously, who the fuck cares if this guy did a few pornos in the 70s?  Unless there’s some clear conflict of in interest in some trial he oversaw, who the fuck cares?  Actually, I could see a problem, now that everyone knows that he’s a former porn star everything he says is gonna be taken as innuendo, and jurors and judge are just gonna hear “blahblahblah…BOWCHICKAWOWCHICKAWOWWOW…blahblahblah….CHICKAWOWCHICKAWOW…THEN HE THREW HER DOWN ON THE BED…ZIIIIIIP…”

For those who don’t get the title.

Dr. Spank wants a post-debate post, since I’m a little afraid of him, here it is.

I watched the debate for about a minute last night, but then I realized it would require me to listen to Obama and Romney talk. That’s a deal-breaker for me.

I always read Vodkapundit drunkblogging it and what others say about it. It’s funny that way instead of annoying.

Al Gore’s blaming global worming for Obama’s crappy response, wait, he didn’t blame global worming, he blamed the altitude. Huh. That’s not quite as funny, but still pretty darn funny.

Obama trying for a do-over today is very darn funny. He had one bit where he said, “That guy on stage” is trying to avoid responsibility and lying and then went on to explain he wasn’t talking about himself. That was hilarious. I just don’t see how anybody wouldn’t immediately think, “Wow, Obama’s admitting he’s a liar who continually blames Bush” before Obama went on to demolish some strawman or other.

I’m not sure where he got his “Romney wants a $5 trillion tax cut” (I wish), but he really needs to keep that up.

Spend the next two months attacking Romney for wanting to give us a tax cut, that’ll work. Especially with Slo Joe explaining their tax cut plan, the one that raises taxes.

If our fine lefty friends think future debates are going to go any better, well, they need to get their heads out their asses.

I might have to actually break my, “Never watch a political deal on TV” Rule to watch Ryan play with Biden like a bored cat with a particularly stupid mouse. I can see Biden actually getting angry and saying something threatening or violent, over and above his usual stupidities.

The next debate with Romney and Obama will be about foreign policy. I might watch that one just to see how Obama fits, “I killed Osama” into each and every answer. He’s got nothing else. He can’t even bring up getting rid of Ghadghaffeiy because that brings up Libya which he surely doesn’t want anybody even thinking about, much less asking him questions about.

My favorite pic from the night.

M’Shell looks pissed.She looks like Briggitte Nielson at the end of Rocky IV.

All links and pics taken from a bunch of places, everybody has them including Drudge, the puppy-blender, Act etc.


Important Update from the puppy blender that makes me think killer bunnies can’t be far behind.

Gasoline station owners in the Los Angeles area including Costco Wholesale Corp. (COST) are beginning to shut pumps as the state’s oil refiners started rationing supplies and spot prices surged to a record.

It’s very endishly funny, but the best case scenario for Obama was having Ambassador Chris Stevens and his escorts (I can’t find their names in any stories) killed instead of taken hostage. The parallels would have been too darn obvious and he would have probably lost even Minnesota this time around.

Ahhhh, it’s that time again. Time for manly men to rub up against each other, grab each others’ balls and jump on top of each other into big piles and get all grabby under the pile.

Huh, it sounds almost as gay as soccer when you put it like that.

Eh, who cares? Tonight is a great start to the season, because it’s what football is all about.

Making Cowboys cry.


Dear NFL, next year get some decent strippers, the ones you had this year weren’t very attractive. (sspspspspspspsp).

Oh, they were singers? Well, next year get strippers. Only a very small percentage of your audience is interested in either of those two, more than half your football audience would tune in for strippers. As it was, we were all watching Cash Cab, waiting for 5:30. Oh, and Boycott Lemur King.  A million monkeys typing at a million keyboards would all blow their own brains out if they actually put out what he blogs.

Now back to our regularly, scheduled post.

The second half of the title is an aside. I’ve been substitute teaching, I started in May, did some other stuff over the summer where I made 3X the money, and then quit that job I hated and I’m back to subbing until I get my regular teacher cert.

Tomorrow the class I’m teaching will be watching The Day After Tomorrow. I just can’t wait. I’ll have to be careful, but I’m going to ask them questions, make them answer them and maybe, just maybe, I can show 30 kids that Gorequemada’s crockumentary is about as much a documentary as Zombieland.

And if anybody says Zombieland is a how-to-survive-the-zombie-apocalypse documentary, I have three words for you: magazine-fed-weapon.

Anybody who thinks a double-barrel shotgun, a mare’s leg with a capacity of 6 rounds or fewer or even a shotgun with an 8 round tube mag are guns to be using against zombies, well, have fun being a zombie.


Well fuck. Veeshirs are crying instead. That’s not the way it was supposed to end.

And to add insult to injury, I had to listen to those three idiots. Eh, it could be worse. The 70s had worse ass-kickings with Dandy fucking Don singing, “Turn out the lights, the party’s over” and Cosell intoning about how the  Cowboys are great.

Olympic Thoughts

Posted: August 5, 2012 by veeshir in Hotassery, Random Crap, The Little Screen

Basic cable edition.

I don’t get many channels, just the most basic cable they have, so I’m sure I’ve missed lots of coverage.

Which brings us to my first point, I have not seen any men’s basketball games. Not one. I don’t know when they’re on, but it’s never when I’m watching. Don’t get me wrong, that’s a plus. Egotistical, narcissistic, Look-At-Me punks bore me. No Kobe, you’re not as good as the original Dream Team. That team could have shut their opposition out if they’d really applied themselves. Not only that, but Michael could have beat your asses with me, DPUD, eddiebear, ATC and Alice H. off the bench. Punk.

Another thought, NBC obviously thinks I want to watch China get lots of gold medals. I don’t. I’d rather see Australia or Italy or one of our allies get some medals. I’m not a big fan of commie dictatorships, not even ones who help NBC and their parent company, Obama, Inc., make a billion dollars.

It’s funny that NBC had a bunch of their poo-flinging monkeys at NBC throw poo at Ann Romney’s horse a month before they start showing me a bunch of coverage of people in funny clothes riding horses around. Why, it’s almost as if some people are interested in that besides rich people who beat their stableboys and don’ t pay their taxes!?!?!?!!
On an unrelated note, I’ve found a sport more boring to watch than bowling.

I only a couple of archery contests but didn’t see the medal rounds and saw no shooting events. Was that just because of my limited service or did they not show archery and shooting (you know, like the last 9 Olympics I’ve watched)?

Last, and possibly as racist as using Obama’s name in vain above, I was watching the US women play the Turkish women in volleyball and all I could think was, “Best. Harem. Ever.”

Seriously. Too bad there are no pics of them on the intertubes.


Yeah, Bitch…MAGNETS!

Posted: July 19, 2012 by aliceaitch in Random Crap, Teh Funneh, The Little Screen



I’m surprised Vince Gilligan didn’t find a way to incorporate some Insane Clown Posse into the episode.