Archive for the ‘Transportation Stupidity Assholes’ Category

A couple of NY Post links that don’t include either maniacs or cannibals. (I know)

So a kid with a gun was shot by police in Brooklyn, so there have been mostly peaceful protests going on.

A police officer was smashed in the face with a brick and 50 people were arrested as unrest over a teenager shot dead by cops continued to plague a Brooklyn neighborhood last night.

Mostly peaceful. I don’t know the circumstances, but I do know that the kid had the gun illegally. I have seen quotes from relatives who said he was trying to turn the gun in, I assume he was going to do so after choir practice and before volunteering an orphanage.

In “My Job Is Too Hard” news, we see the TSA explaining that they’re useless and should be disbanded.

The TSA whined yesterday that it’s just too darn hard for agents to find bombs — unless the terrorists use explosives straight out of a Loony Tunes cartoon.

 

 

Think that’s harsh?

“It’s not like they’re using a cartoonish bundle of dynamite with an alarm clock strapped to it,” Bob Burns of the TSA Blog Team posted on the agency’s Web site.

I understand, you’re too incompetent and the whole dept. should be disbanded.

In How Dare You Trust My Employers hilarity, Tom Maguire notices this hilarity.

Quoth Paul Krugman

OK, I’m an evil person — and my scheming has paid off.

On Friday I started hearing from friends about a fake story making the rounds about my allegedly filing for personal bankruptcy; I even got asked about the story by a reporter from Russian television, who was very embarrassed when I told him it was fake. But I decided not to post anything about it; instead, I wanted to wait and see which right-wing media outlets would fall for the hoax.

And Breitbart.com came through!

 

Tom notices something that apparently that uber-evil genius didn’t.

Those silly righties! Left unmentioned at Krugman’s blog – Breitbart lifted the story from the website of the Boston Globe, a NY Times company. I think it is kind of funny that the Times organization was duped about the bankruptcy of their own columnist…

As are we all Tom, as are we all.

In “Word of the Year” news, we see this word “austerity” that used to mean “living within your means” but now apparently means something about raising taxes to afford how you want to live.

Don’t believe me? In a story about Qatar cutting off Egypt as they’re running out of food, fuel and goats for escort services, they talk about the IMF demanding Austerity.

A $4.8 billion grant from the IMF could stanch the bleeding, but it requires Egypt to accept austerity measures.

Is there now an International Journolist that is coordinating the use of that word?

Relatedly, France and Britain has decided they will arm jihadis caught in the global downturn.

France has joined Britain by indicating it may be ready to break ranks with the rest of the EU and question the utility of the arms embargo for the Free Syrian Army.

That’s pretty funny, they’ve disarmed their own populace as they’re arming jihadis.

 

I love tilting at windmills, it doesn’t do any good by itself, but if we can get enough people doing it we’ll get rid of the scourge of polluting windmills. Or something, I don’t know. Just read this and stop expecting me to make sense.

Just how bad are some of our members of Congress?

29 members have been accused of spousal abuse, 7 have been arrested for fraud, 19 have been accused of writing bad checks, 117 have bankrupted at least 2 businesses, 3 have been arrested for physical assault, 71 have such bad credit that they can’t even qualify for a credit card, (yet with their special clearance as a member of Congress they get an Amex card without having a credit check.) 14 have been arrested on drug related charges, 8 have been arresting for shoplifting, and at least 84 members of Congress have been stopped for drunk driving but subsequently let go once they showed they were members of Congress.

That’s our Congress!

Okay, this one makes me laugh. Ed Schutz is being demoted at MSNBC,  no not fore being too leftist

Chris Hayes will take over the 8 p.m. time slot on MSNBC in the next month, the channel announced on Thursday morning, the day after the current host of that hour, Ed Schultz, said he was moving from the weekdays to the weekends.

 

So who is Chris Hayes?

The same Chris Hayes who on Memorial Day said he was “uncomfortable” calling fallen American soldiers “heroes.”

I figure Ed was demoted because he kept getting caught doctoring video.

In, Ummm Dude? We Had One Revolution Over Just That Issue Already news, Bill Gates explains why we need to be more like the British.

Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates, the wealthiest American, said on “some days” he wishes the U.S. political system were like England’s,

Seriously, the US Constitution was created to fix the problems with the British system.

Speaking of the Constitution, we see that Feinstein’s “What 2nd Amendment” bill was voted out of committee so our fine, GOP betters can get on with taking my guns.

 

Last, no linky, but does anybody know which Saint Francis the new pope named himself after? I ask because I keep seeing people say that he named himself after St. Francis without explaining which one.

Shep Smith, who is obviously wholly ignorant of the Catholic Church, kept saying, “He named himself after Saint Francis”, so I kept saying, “Which St Francis you fucking moron?”( I have a low opinion of Shep).

I then saw him say at one point something about that St. Francis being a Jesuit, so Francis Xavier.

Later, I was watching something else on Fox for a few minutes when I saw the scroll along the bottom saying, “…named after St Francis of Assisi.”

I understand Shep is lazy, stupid and so very ignorant so I shouldn’t pick on him, but if Foxnews is going to send someone so ignorant to cover the Catholic Church, couldn’t they at least have provided him with a producer who knows something about the Catholic Church?

Edition.

upton

If I were her, that’s what I would do all day too.

Not sure why I bother posting anything after that, but what the hell.

Actually, this is an easy post, if I piss people off nobody will notice, not even the 4 people who actually read the posts.

First, let’s go to EUnuchstan.

Last week we saw the EUnuchs saying the problem in the Middle East is them dam, dirty, Jews. This week they’re saying, “Sorry”.

No, not that they said that, that people found out they were saying that. That was only for upper-class EUnuchstanian Oligarchs to know about.

The EUnuchs are really not happy about Italy’s election and the hits keep hitting.

That article explains how the guy whose party’s platform is to not work with anybody is the new Mussolini! (fascism is based on ‘fasces”, bundles of sticks, i.e. working together).

The stand-up comedian Beppe Grillo, like the fascist dictator Benito Mussolini before him, has a craving to take over the piazza and mesmerise the crowd.

They then list a whole bunch of other ‘similarities’, but they leave out the most damning. They both speak Italian!

That story is absolutely correct about everything.

Check that. It’s only correct in the spelling of his name. For instance, they call it the “Vaffa” Day Protests instead of the Vaffanculo Day Protests. Vaffa does not mean the same thing, they call them the “Fuck Off” protests instead of the “Fuck you up your ass” protest. Perhaps a subtle difference, but one anybody with an ass should be able to see.

That was what I had to weed my way through last week to find a story that didn’t make up obvious stuff.

Some Italy stuff that’s not full of shit.

During these elections, all that’s wrong with Italian politics in the last 20 years has finally caught up to us. The government’s relationship — and lack of communication — with the Italian people has led to an unprecedented height of pure electoral protest.

Yup.  I just hope we can go the same route and not the route our social, moral, political and intellectual betters seem to be hell bent on going down.

This is the seqway from EUnuchstan to other continents! It’s like a segue, but phonetically spelled. The Italians are trying to do some furrin aid, but being Italians they’re not just giving money.

Italians teach locals in Burkina Faso both the recipe for pizza, and the formula for a successful small business.

As they say, buy a man a pizza and you feed him for a football game. Teach him how to make a pizza and drunks will try to give him money at 3 in the morning.

More Africa, This one is funny on a few levels. As we know, Egyptians are pretty much just protesting everything, here we have soccer fans protesting John Kerry leaving their country.

Hundreds of Egyptian football fans blocked a main road to Cairo’s international airport on Sunday, forcing a delay in visiting US Secretary of State John Kerry’s departure

You’d think they’d protest him entering the country plus, I can only assume that Kerry, being French and a eunuch, would like soccer. Eh, they’re happy so that’s all that matters.

What continent is Lebanon on? Asia, right? Well, whatever, it’s a transitional spot so let’s go there.

They’re actually starting to fight back against Hezbollah.

Sunni Sheikh Ahmad al-Assir expressed his willingness to militarily protect himself and his followers from Hezbollah members allegedly stationed near his Sidon mosque.

It’s a good time for that, what with Hezbollah sending so many of their terrorist north to aid Assad kill Syrians.

I’d bet Mossad is watching and I gotta figure they’re helping, when jihadi fights jihadi,  Israel is happy.

Iran’s in Asia right? So let’s continue our way across that continent. That article is about the players in some Iranian, faux-election that allows EUnuchs and John Effin Kerry (BIRM) to pretend they’re elected.

It’s not all that important, in other words, I’m just linking to it because of their continued use of “Right wing”, they do it for a few candidates.

Saeed Jalili

His name was mentioned as a potential right-wing candidate,

WTF does that mean? Is he for lower taxes and decreasing the size of gov’t or is he Hitler or is he not close enough to Hitler? I figure it just means, “He’s bad”, so another example of exporting our values! Right wingers=Bad.

Now let’s seg our way to China.

Apparently, one, two, three, four, let’s have a currency war!

Now I understand I have very little idea how economics works (I have to take the dollar signs off to make change), but China is a shithole country that would be even shittier without foreign exchange.

We can survive without them, we’ll just have to buy toys that don’t kill our kids but at a higher price, they’ll have to sell their shitty, toxic, junk to each other.

While we’re boned economically, the rest of the world is exponentially more boned. Especially commie nations where they make up their numbers and nobody really has any idea what the fuck is going on. (See, Russia 1989).

That’s enough of THEY’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!, let’s try a little WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!

A little drudgetaposition.

TSA’s hiring freeze, sequestrially-caused, will increase lines for waiting to be groped.

TSA expands groping to RRs, roads, waterways, ports, the hallway between your bedroom and the bathroom, etc.

TSA related, they explain how what you saw in that video last week wasn’t what you saw. They were respectful and all you assholes saying otherwise are liars, you’d better arrive at the airport at least 36 hours ahead of your flight if they know who you are (and they do).

A week or two ago I talked about how it was good that two innocent people who were shot by bad guys didn’t have guns or there might have been a gun-fight. I thought I was joking.

A Florida high school student wrestled a loaded gun away from another teen (who was aiming at another studentV) on the bus ride home this week and was slapped with a suspension in return. (due to being involved in a gun-related incident V)

Tar, feathers, a rail and a few baseball bats seem required. Heinlein saved his worst vitriol for school boards but I never understood that until I was in my 30s. I went to Catholic School so they didn’t have school boards.

See? This is one of the reasons I get so fucking pissed off about “Standing“. I can’t sue the gov’t for saying they have the right to kill me with their RC air force, but Masshole pols are making sure that animal “rights” idjits can sue hunters and dog owners for hunting and dog owning.

Fuck. Eco-wackos can sue all and sundry over their religion, but I can’t sue the feds for saying they can kill me.

Speaking of the RC armada,

The U.S. Department of Homeland Security has customized its Predator drones, originally built for overseas military operations, to carry out at-home surveillance tasks that have civil libertarians worried: identifying civilians carrying guns and tracking their cell phones, government documents show.

So when you’re drone hunting….skeet shooting, turn off your phone and remove the battery. As for knowing I’m armed, well, it’s gonna find that out anyway.

So the conservatives in the GOP have a plan.

Remember when I said that we weren’t going to see a budget just another continuing resolution that’s totally not a bloated budget full of earmarks?

The draft continuing resolution (CR) assumes the sequester, set to begin cutting government spending by $85 billion on Friday, is left in place, which conservatives see as a way to reduce deficits.

Looking better and better all the time (or rather, worse and worse).

Fuck.

High-fucking-larious.  Obama’s job approval is going down! That’s super-duper important!!!!!!! There’s no way he’s going to be re-elected next Novem…..wait, that doesn’t mean shit.

He never cared about his popularity, he only cared about making his opponents look worse. Now he doesn’t even have to give a shit about that.

Some humor.The first one is anti-climatic.

Via Gateway Pundit,  we see my favorite global warmmongering idjits.

The ones who so totally believe their religion that they go to the North or South Pole bringing extra sunscreen and a bathing suit(warning, unsafe, yellow-journalism, Minitrue sub-outlet at Wash Post).

So this tool went to Antarctica to highlight global worming and

British explorer Ranulph Fiennes on Monday pulled out of an expedition to cross Antarctica during the region’s winter after developing frostbite (emphasis mine V)

Global warmmongers really just are fucking clueless about reality.

Added later: isn’t Antarctica in the southern hemisphere? Isn’t it summer there when it’s winter here? So it’s summer there and not winter, right? I’d bet that whichever Winston Smith they had working on that article put that in to make it seem as if it’s supposed to be colder

I’ve been reading this guy off and on for years. He used to have a faux-commie blog that confused people so he moved to War Planner.  It’s a cool blog on military stuff usually, here he goes for Teh Funny.

This asshole looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, “Is that Corona or Bud?”

I said, “There’s a tap underneath; taste it and find out.”

—-

I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, “If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you’d look all right.”

I told her, “If I did that, I’d be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”

—-

I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.

“Really” she said, “Go on then…try.”

After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said.

“Come on, what day was I born”?

I said, “Yesterday.”

—-

I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today.

The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

(Why does it seem so much worse to be peeing like that instead of doing it while you’re  in the pool?V)

—-

I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.

I said, “Nice legs.”

The girl giggled and said with a smile, “Do you really think so.”

I said “Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now. “

Have fun folks, but not too much fun, cuz the more fun we have the more likely WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!

Let’s start with infuriating so we can have some fun later on.

Yesterday I was going to cut n’ past the SOTU and put a link into every lie he told. I hadn’t watched the speech or read Vodkapundit’s drunkblogging yet, but I knew it would be fulll of lies.

So I put the speech into a “new post” and started.

I got to this part and had to stop

Mr. Speaker, Mr. Vice President, Members of Congress, fellow citizens:

You forgot the illegal aliens you lying sack of shit. Your party is proud of it, own it.

So instead, I’ll link this about his worst lie.  Where he said obamacare was already reducing costs of, well, anything.

The worst part is that I bet he would pass any lie detector he would ever take, I bet he immediately believes whatever he says.

A little good news. Those guys think Iran is going to buy Nork nukular tech. So we have crappy p-shoppers buying nuke tech from Norks. Should make for some interesting explosions.

Two links on the cops’ execution of that cop-killing cop-psycho in California.

Fer it.

Agin it.

You make the call!

Gotta love this one. Brooklyn College had a “Let’s tell Terrorstan how much we love them!” event and some Jews showed up to present a differing viewpoint. Brooklyn College, being a college, understands that free speech is okay, so long as it’s only used when agreeing with your betters, so they were kicked out.

Now they’re suing, something about the First Amendment and freedom of speech and a bunch of stuff that has nothing to do with America.

In more “Fuck the Jews” news, Human Rights Watch has an investigation into some actions Israel took to kill terrorists. Now, you know that they’ll find out the Jews aimed for the babies, but they usually allow Israel to respond. This time they have no time for that.

Because previous Israeli “operational debriefings” involving attacks were not conducted by trained military police investigators or dedicated to investigating alleged laws-of-war violations,

Get that? They don’t bother listening to the Jews cuz you just can’t trust them hooked-nose bastids.

I don’t feel like reading their bullshit (that’s a safe, Yourish link above), but you know they interviewed terrorists.

I will link them for one of their greatest hits.  That was their demand to investigate the Massacre Of Jenin!  where millions of Palestinian babies were killed!!!!!!!!!!! in a town of hundreds of thousands!!!! The Jews flew babies in just to murder them!!!!!

Turned out, the Israelis absolutely told the truth about what happened in Jenin and the terrorists in the PLO were lying through their teeth. You know, what always happens.

Rand Paul is my new hero, but that doesn’t make me any less infuriated/scared.

Seriously, he ran as someone who would fight the power, and he’s doing it.

The Kentucky Republican said he would do “whatever it takes” to block Brennan’s confirmation until he directly answers whether American citizens legally can be killed by drone strikes within U.S. borders.

Get it? The prospective CIA director is refusing to answer if Obama can use drones to kill me in America.

And that’s why I have my new “Who gives a shit? We’re fucking doomed” stance.

I mean, at least 78% of Americans should be freaking out about that but Minitrue is ignoring it as much as they can so nobody but the few tens of thousands who read righty blogs.(78% because 20-25% of people will usually go the opposite way of everybody else in a poll)

There should be hundreds of thousands of Americans protesting at every federal building everywhere in the fucking country.

The CIA director is refusing to say whether or not our God-President can have an RC plane kill me. The gov’t appears to be reserving the right to murder me. There’s no funny in that, just endy.

Missouri Democrats are making a bid to be where the 2nd American Revolution starts.

Missouri House Democrats have introduced an anti-gun bill which would …(ban) semi-automatic firearm possession:

I wish them luck.

In “Please don’t throw me in that briar patch’ news, we have Harry Reid begging Republicans to save Obama from his own stupidity.

Reid is daring the GOP to filibuster Hagel. Me? I want him approved. We really need to get to the down and dirty before Democrats take all our guns or Obama starts having his RC army kill us all.

Speaking of which, they have a new ‘combat’ medal for RC warfare and people who have won combat medals for actions that entailed that they leave the A/C and go out and get face to face with unfriendly strangers are not all that happy.

Now, I don’t have a dog in this fight in any way except I need the US military to keep people from killing me, but it seems out of bounds to give a ‘combat’ medal to someone who is not, in fact, in combat.

I do wonder one thing, do you get a Red, White and Blue cluster if you’ve killed an American citizen in America? That’s something that Obama would come up with.

Okay, this one pisses me off too. I mean, I understand our politicians and Minitrue “journalists” are far more important than I am, but Kanye West and one of those Kardashian things?  Seriously? They should go to the back of the line, the Kardashian can hand out blow-jobs as we wait for the illiterate, undertrained, uneducated asshole to grope us while Kanye can just drunkenly harass some poor, little blond girl instead of being escorted around the line I have to stand on.

So not only does the TSA shit on the 5th amendment, they’re giving preferential treatment to the scum of our society.

Fuck.

Now we’re at the best part of the post, the end!

I found this via MArooned.

You might want to click this link quickly because I think they’re shutting the intertubes down later on, this guy won and anything else would be anti-climactic.

Being good nerds, we all saw the link to the Lessons Learned from the Battle of Hoth, but Jay noticed something I did not. I usually avoid comments because really, every comment thread longer than 20 comments becomes exactly the same comment thread.

First comment

 

Have you even served with the Imperial forces? Sure it’s easy to take potshots from your military blog in some no-name star system while the fleet and its legions fight the rebel insurgents, but combined space/air/ground operations are a lot messier than any infographic could ever portray….

Then he gets funny, RTWT before they shut the ‘tubes down.

Jordan Viray wins the tubes! I wonder if we can talk Obama into making a class of that RC medal for intertubes commenters? I mean, it’s far more risky to comment on the ‘tubes than to sit in an air conditioned room, playing Nintendo.

Updated below
In NYC a man is suing his wedding photog for bad photos and it’s hilarious.

Mr. Remis’s wedding took place in 2003 and he waited six years to sue. … demanded to be repaid the $4,100 cost of the photography, he also wants $48,000 to recreate the entire wedding and fly the principals to New York so the celebration can be re-shot by another photographer. …the couple divorced and the bride is believed to have moved back to her native Latvia.

The judge is allowing this suit to go on.

Which makes this endiness even funnier

A federal judge has dismissed a lawsuit by former Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura in which he sought to challenge the use of full-body scans and pat-downs at airport checkpoints….

U.S. District Judge Susan Richard Nelson ruled Thursday that the court lacked jurisdiction.

So a former governor trying to rein in the abuses of the TSA is thrown out of court while some tool is trying to sue 8 years after the fact and after being divorced is allowed to proceed with his suit.

Since when does a federal judge not claim jurisdiction over everything under the Sun including setting US foreign policy (in the case of the treatment of terrorists)?

Update via drudge
Yes, Ventura is a nitwit, but that doesn’t make this any better

Ventura’s lawyer was told he could not even look at the ruling due to “national security” concerns.

Some TSA asshole groping me or putting me through their cancer-machines is not “national security”, it’s “security theater”./update

As someone said, our civilization is failing under the weight of its own absurdities.

It’s a shame the Burger King upstairs from the security checkpoint has stolen all the real talent from the TSA. 

The Transportation Security Administration is apologizing to a pregnant woman, one day after she said her insulin and ice packs were confiscated by screeners at Denver International Airport.

The Aurora woman was traveling alone to a baby shower in Phoenix when she was questioned by a TSA agent as she went through security around 4 p.m. Thursday.

“He’s like, ‘Well, you’re a risk.’ I’m like, ‘Excuse me?’ And he’s like, ‘This is a risk … I can’t tell you why again. But this is at risk for explosives,’” the woman said. She asked 7NEWS not to use her name for fear of retaliation for speaking out.

So the TSA is apologizing for confiscating insulin their employees supposedly didn’t touch.  Insulin that comes in 10-ml bottles, which last I checked, is a bit smaller than 3.4 ounces.  (That pesky metric system, maybe it confuzzled the security screener.)

And to top it all off, they did such a piss-poor job of searching this woman’s bags that they left a bottle of this lethal plane-downing drug in her lunchbox.

I thought our economy was in the toilet and our unemployment rate was sky-high.  If that’s really the case, why can’t the TSA hire some competent employees who are capable of making sound judgment calls?

Fuck you. Goblinfuck you with recycled fuckwipes for tolerating this clown to represent you. Fuck you for continuing your descent into poverty and not doing anything about it. Fuck you for continuing to vote for the dickheads who use violence as a debate strategy. And fuck you because I am sick of seeing towns such as you mooch off of others, and then threaten us if we don’t toe your line.

Oh, for fuck’s sake

A Nigerian man flew from New York to Los Angeles using an expired boarding pass that belonged to someone else, media outlets reported Thursday morning. Olajide Oluwaseun Noibi reportedly boarded Virgin America Flight 415 at New York’s JFK International Airport bound for Los Angeles on Friday.

At this time, investigators are suggesting that Noibi is a tourist rather than a terrorist. Noibi apparently went through and cleared the physical screening process, but no one caught the invalid travel documents.

Well, I’m certainly glad that we’ve determined after the fact that this guy wasn’t a terrorist. Lucky–damn lucky–for everyone on the plane.

The article goes on to mention that the flight crew didn’t notice that they had an extra passenger until the flight was in the air, that the boarding pass was not only out of date but may have also been stolen from another traveler at JFK, and that he was let go and only arrested when he showed up again at LAX and tried to get on another plane. Other reports I’ve seen have said that they allowed him to board with an I.D. that didn’t have a photo and that investigators found ten more fake or stolen boarding passes in his bags.

But, yeah, let’s make sure to check the diaper of some wheelchair-bound old woman who’s dying of cancer.

Stupid fucking assholes.