Archive for the ‘True Heroes’ Category

Maybe I’m Wrong

Posted: February 16, 2014 by veeshir in Exploding things, PEBKAC, True Heroes

I know they had GI Joes for all branches, but wasn’t the basic GI Joe in the Army?

Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t think so.

I had lots of GI Joes when I was a kid in the late 60s and early 70s and they mostly had Army uniforms and stuff.

Which makes this pretty darn funny. (Update: That’s Old NFO’s blog, I didn’t even know he had one, check it out)

The face of GI Joe, the quintessential Soldier, was based on a Marine.

One bad mofo of a Marine, he and his buddies killed so many Japanese soldiers they couldn’t even count them.

Read the whole thing. You’ll enjoy it.

You know what this means?

Maybe it’s true, when the Army and Navy look on Heaven’s scenes they will find the streets are guarded by United States Marines.

From The Barrel Of a Gun (with a bullet!)

Important probably not safe for work update below the fold. Via the Daily News, The X-Ray. Ugh.

 

Seriously?

Shocked doctors had to perform emergency surgery on a man in the Australian capital Canberra after he lodged a 10 centimetre (four-inch) steel fork inside his penis for sexual pleasure.

No, seriously?

The bizarre incident was considered so unusual that it was written up as a case report in a recent issue of the International Journal of Surgery.

I’ll bet.
According to the paper “An Unusual Urethral Foreign Body,”
Now there’s a conference that screams out for Dr. Sheldon Cooper PhD.
Every now and then we need a category for the opposite of hotassery.

upton2

Now that I have your attention, let’s go to the boobs!

So a few years ago Tsar Putin I had a guy named Litvinenko killed in London using some sort of radioactive stuff in a needle. So the Brits decided to get tough and investigate it!

The results will stay secret. (Grauniad link, I had my choice of BBC, NY Times of the Grauniad, sorry).

Shit, those wimpy boobs in the Brit gov’t ar….damn that’s one fanfastic fucking gif up there.

Lest we think Britain is totally useless, check this out.

A GRANDAD whose house was pelted with stones by a schoolboy was NICKED and FINED after frogmarching him to his parents for a telling-off.

See? They’re not totally useless, they’re totally fucking useless!

In non-boob news, Columbia teaches us how to negotiate with terrorists.

Colombian government forces have killed a FARC brigade commander close to the Marxist group’s chief peace negotiator

Now that’s how you do it. FARC ceased their cease fire so the Columbians started killing them again. Nice.

Headline

The Holocaust Just Got More Shocking

No you idiots, all it does is illustrate beyond a shadow of a doubt that those Germans who claimed “I didn’t know!!!” were lying sacks of shit. Just like anybody with a brain already knew.

I have a hard time watching some war movies and not wishing we had perfected the bomb 2 years earlier. Especially in the Band of Brothers when they find the camp and Germans pretend they had no idea what was happening in that horrible place.

Damn, everybody wants to be where the revolution starts.

Brophy points to a section of the bill that defines a high-capacity magazine as one capable of accepting or — that can be readily converted — to accept more than 15 rounds or eight shotgun shells.

That’s just about every pump-action shotgun, you can put a mag extender on them so they’re illegal even without doing so.

So that’s why Biden was pushing double-barrels.

I know, I’m banging my chubby fists on the high-chair again, but….

Jonah Goldberg is upset they’re not inviting Christie to CPAC,

Oh, and he parroted the gun-control line and flip-flopped on accepting a federal bribe to accept Obamacare funding to expand Medicaid.

He thinks they need a big tent, stop being so strict about who they let in.

Yeah, that’s worked so well for the Church of England and the Catholic Church in America.

When your stock in trade is a belief system, it helps to actually FUCKING BELIEVE IN SOMETHING!

Sorry. I just get worked up. Added, I deleted “you assholes”, that was unnecessary. I was all worked up.

Heinlein always said that If “everybody knows” such-and-such, then it ain’t so, by at least ten thousand to one

Case in point. There aren’t more black men in prison than college.

I have to admit, I’ve always accepted that. It always embarrasses me when I forget that truism.

This one is funny on so many levels. 20 years after it could do any good, the state of Michigan is declaring Detroit a disaster area and taking over.

The quotes are what make it.

Mayor Dave Bing said Friday he does not favor an emergency manager to solve Detroit’s problems,

Wait, you mean a grifter is upset that he’s going to lose his source of graft? Color me pointing and laughing.

But wait, he demands his graft!

“There needs to be additional conversation with Lansing regarding their plan to move the city forward,” Bing said. “We have always said that we need help from Lansing to implement our initiatives such as public safety, transportation, lighting and others.

I’ll translate: Gimme, gimme, gimme.

I have to admit, I totally agree with this resident.

“I don’t think it’s right at all,”Angela Woodmere, 37, said Friday outside the Maccabees Building on Woodward. “We elected Detroit politicians and Snyder shouldn’t be dictating how they run the city.”

People get the gov’t they want, they voted for Henry Gondorff, they should keep him.

Speaking of scumbags. Via the Jawas we see Obama’s peace partners giving toys to children!!!! yay!!!!!

The Khyber Pakhtunkhwa (KP) government has decided to educate children about the dangers of toy-like bombs after militants allegedly targeted them recently with bombs disguised as candy, toys and even a string of ball-shaped explosives tied to a cricket bat.

Fucking savages. As for the Obama bit, it might not be the Taliban, but you know Obama would side with this set of boy-fucking savages just like he does with the Taliban.

Via Samizdata, we see this story about art. No, about Art!

So a hundred years ago some guy named Duchamp was at an art exhibit and he grabbed a urinal, signed it and put it on display. Some people are still doing it today. (Recall the janitor who “tidied up” a pile of garbage not realizing it was a million dollar pile of garbage). So the reviewer has this to say:

But it’s not going to come from repeating the same old tricks of 100 years ago. The urinal lovers now are the art establishment.

Hilariously true, but I laugh because I think of the haughty smugnitude you would get back from any Arteeeeest you said that to.

Couple Castle Arghhhhh! links.

First, the dumbest thing I’ve seen all day. (and that’s fucking saying something)

Cadets on the Brigade Energy and Environmental staff will introduce a new insignia to the Corps when they don their cadet uniforms this week. These cadet energy and environmental officers and noncommissioned officers, or E2Os, are tasked with leading the charge on initiatives related to recycling, energy and water conservation at the academy.

Silver Gore Award!

What does 4 up, 3 squiggly mean to you soldier? You’re pathetic sergeant!

The Silver Gore can’t be far behind. I swear, they’re just fucking with us now.

At first glance this looks awesome, but look closer.

army_men

Where the hell is the mine sweeper guy! Geez, they’re gonna be boned without him. Everybody knows the dinosaurs plant mines.

A sad post and one where the NY Post blew the headline again.

A massive spill at a Chivas plant has sent the smell of spirits flowing through a Scottish sewer

It should read Hundreds of people found in the sewers of Dumbarton, Scotland.

True Heroes! I so rarely get to use that category. There are only 4 of Doolittle’s Raider’s left alive.

There’s only one thing about that that doesn’t totally suck.

Years ago the President of Hennessy Company presented a bottle of 1896 vintage “Very Special Hennessy” cognac to General Jimmy Doolittle, in honor of his birth year and it was decided that the last two survivors would toast the fallen with it. Due to their advanced age it was decided that they would make the toast this year, before there were none left.

Nice.

Edition

This is really just an extension of the earlier, FEOCE post.

Let’s go rounder the tubes, today, I think it’s Tuesday. It’s February right?

In lese majeste news, woman gives judge finger, gets 30 days. Eh, not all that surprising really. I don’t know if Thomas Jefferson would have approved, but that’s the way it is. Why I link it is one of my life’s goals.

Of course there’s Lumberjack’s, “I know my rights!” as you’re being handcuffed challenge, but if I’m ever cited for contempt I hope I have the balls to steal the line, “Good, I was afraid I was concealing it” I would probably have a 6 month vacation to contemplate exactly how funny, but I think it would be worth it. I like stealing good lines.  When I broke my finger a doctor told me to “look over there, quick!”, when I did he aligned the bones. He thought that was funny. So as the intern was wrapping it, I asked the Dr if I would be able to play the violin. He actually said “Yes”. Seriously. When I said, “Good, because I never could before” the intern almost lost it. I figure he’s still cleaning bedpans somewhere.

Not all that funny, just standard endy stuff. High gas prices hurt people who use gas. I’m linking it because it’s CNBC doing journalism. Recall, this is the network whose folks were told to stop telling the truth about their God-President. Good for them.

How funny is it when I see a post where people being blown up is called “the feel good post of the day“… and I chuckle and agree?

A bomb blast killed three suspected militants in Karachi on Wednesday as they were carrying out preparations for a deadly attack

Work accidents are funny.

In, “Did he really just fucking say that?” news, we have some hilarity from Illinois.

State Rep. Will Davis, D-Hazel Crest, wants to create a new tax that would generate an estimated $3 million annually for a youth job preparation program.

3$ million more siphoned from the hapless residents of Illinois. Good, they voted for these assholes. Pol proposes new tax, ho-hum, right? Shows how much you know.

He said the added cost would likely go unnoticed by most consumers, while helping finance a program for kids during tight budget times.

Yup, it’s so small and on a niche item that most consumers apparently don’t buy so nobody will even notice it and it’s for Teh Children after all. Still standard fare. Sorry, this one needs a build up.

Under the proposal, consumers buying any kind of athletic shoe would pay an extra 25 cents

Wait, sneakers? This won’t affect most consumers? You know, cuz nobody buys sneakers. Let’s not forget the administrative costs of the tax. The bureaucracy to make sure it’s being taken and paid properly will quickly cost more than this takes in. Eh, still not all that funny. Politicians are told math will not be used.

So here goes Teh Funny. (finally)

Who wears athletic shoes the most? It’s probably kids,

While I might dispute his premise (it might be true, but he doesn’t know, he just made it up), he is actually taxing Teh Children to give to Teh Children. You know, because they’re just too dim, bless their little hearts, to know how to spend their own money on themselves.

I hope it passes. I really hopes it passes. They’ll have to raise it to $5 a shoe within  a year or so just to pay for the bureaucracy and then raise it more so they actually take enough in to have some left over to give maybe a half-cent on the dollar to Teh Children.

 

This feels cruel to point and laugh. So you can just assume it. I will say the site is aptly named, this girl is batshit crazy.

A young woman met her online romantic interest for the first time in person, and a few hours later, she let the man tattoo his name, in big, dark, elaborate, bold letters, all across her previously very pretty face.

I’m not going to quote anymore, you can see where it’s going.

 

Fucking eye doctor in Florida becomes buddy with senator and also becomes Dominican port master , he takes said Dem pol on free vacations as Dem pol uses US gov’t to strong arm Dominican Republican and everybody’s focusing on the prostitute angle.  It’s All About Sex(tm) you know, as we saw play so well in every Democratic scandal since the 90s.

In ‘The People Are Revolting Sire. news, some ICE  agents are suing Obama and now their suit can go through.

The agents filed their complaint in October, charging that unconstitutional and illegal directives from DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano and ICE Director John Morton order the agents to violate federal laws or face adverse employment actions.

Wow. Someone actually is doing something about at least one of Obama’s unconstitutional directives. Too little, too late, but still nice.

 

See? This is what I’m going on about.

He sees this chart

130204-rcm

 

And says this

 

My contention, therefore, is that things will have to get much, much worse before the president’s excuses, straw-men, and enemies lists finally begin to stink like the overripe corpses they are.

 

Surprisingly, I disagree. I don’t think that people will ever admit that, especially to themselves. Even as I’m starting the fire with my books and getting ready to butcher the dog, some leftist nitwit will be blaming it on global warming, Bush, the Tea Party and Sarah Fucking Palin. I just hope I have the willpower to throw the body out of the cave instead of letting the dog live another day.

Uh-oh, Action Park might be losing its standing as the most fucking deranged amusement park in the world.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the newest must see stop on the tour of The Funniest End of Civilization Ever:

Six Flags bin Laden!

The town where Osama Bin Laden was killed by US Navy SEALs is to become the new home of a £19million ($30 million) ‘amusement city’ complete with a zoo, water sports and mini-golf, Pakistan’s government has announced

 

The bumper cars should be interesting.

I don’t see how to top that, so I’m done.

Balls, He Had Them

Posted: January 3, 2013 by veeshir in True Heroes

I don’t know if there’s an afterlife or what it’s like, but I root for a Jonathan Livingston Seagull sort of deal.

If so, this guy deserves to go very far up the ladder after this life. (unsafe, Wash Post/Yellow Journalism link)

John Sheardown, an unflappable Canadian diplomat in Tehran during the Iran hostage crisis who helped shelter six American “house guests” until they were secretly shuttled out of the country, died Dec. 30 at a hospital in Ottawa. He was 88.

The world is a less brave place without him in it.

Via Yourish

I don’t know if “True Heroes” is sarcastic or serious, but this guy was a true hero so I’m going with “serious”.

Thank you

Posted: May 27, 2012 by alexthechick in True Heroes

I am grateful every moment of every day for those who have given their all so that I may be free.

Like A Moron Rasputin

Posted: February 16, 2012 by veeshir in Moron of the Day, Random Crap, True Heroes

My hero. Seriously, this guy drank wood alcohol and sweated Valu-Rite.

How difficult could it be to push Michael Malloy to drink himself to death?…

Why don’t you take out insurance on Malloy?” Pasqua asked Marino that day, according to another contemporary newspaper report. “I can take care of the rest.”…..

Tony Marino granted him an open-ended tab, saying competition from other saloons had forced him to ease the rules. No sooner did Malloy down a shot than Marino refilled his glass. … He drank until Marino’s arm tired from holding the bottle. Remarkably, his breathing remained steady; his skin retained its normally ruddy tinge. …and said he’d be back soon. Within 24 hours, he was….

Tough Tony grew impatient, suggesting someone simply shoot Malloy in the head, but Murphy recommended a more subtle solution: exchanging Malloy’s whiskey and gin with shots of wood alcohol….

The gang watched, rapt, as Malloy downed several shots and kept asking for more, displaying no physical symptoms other than those typical of inebriation….

Night after night the scene repeated itself, with Malloy drinking shots of wood alcohol as fast as Murphy poured them, until the night he crumpled without warning to the floor. …but then Malloy began to snore. He awakened some hours later, rubbed his eyes, and said, “Gimme some of th’ old regular, me lad!”

And then they got creative and he still wouldn’t die. Seriously, read the whole thing, it’s a perverse look into the world of people who care nothing about others going up against a man who was some kind of a supermoron/superhobo.

Via the the Friend of Reverend Jim Society/about as good as Slublog or Stoaty with photoshop blogger.