Archive for the ‘WTF Is Wrong With Colorado’ Category

The shooter at Arapahoe High School (not going to name him, he doesn’t deserve the recognition) came armed for massacre, including extra ammunition, a machete, and Molotov cocktails. It’s fairly obvious from the amount of weaponry carried that the shooter had no intentions of simply killing his debate coach. Few news outlets are reporting on why the attack was cut short, though. It wasn’t because the targeted debate coach had left the school, and it wasn’t because the shooter suddenly had an attack of conscience.

The reason the shooter suddenly stopped his attack and killed himself was because Arapahoe High School had an armed school resource officer who confronted him. The shooter felt he was cornered and killed himself.

Arapahoe County Sheriff Grayson Robinson had this to say:

We believe that the response from the  school resource officer … was absolutely critical to the fact that we did not have additional injury and/or death in this particular matter.

I think we have our proof of concept for armed school officers saving lives.

An Arctic blast from the past

Posted: December 9, 2013 by aliceaitch in Green Goofs, WTF Is Wrong With Colorado

Tony of Tony’s Rants made an interesting observation on Facebork today…Six years ago, Artic ‘expert’ Dr. Wieslaw Maslowski predicted that there would be no ice in the Arctic in summer 2013. He was concerned that “our projection of 2013 is already too conservative.”

In other global warming news, Colorado is fucking cold lately. I tried putting insulation on our garage doors over the weekend to try to minimize the incoming cold; the foamboard adhesive froze and the insulation fell off.

thorntoncold

 

There must be something in the water in Topeka, KS. There’s no other way to explain how a town with a population of only 125,000 can be home to two completely unrelated crazycakes. The town was once home to a notable insane asylum. Perhaps it’s time to reopen it.

I’m linking the Google Caches of these articles because the outrage and laughter flowing from Denver has caused the servers at “Topeka’s News – A Progressive Voice for the Free Thinker” to crash. First, we have accusations that marijuana use has become so pervasive in Colorado that the Broncos were able to give contact highs to the entire Kansas City Chiefs football team without anyone noticing the smell of skunk.

Shocking new reports from sources in Denver confirm that Denver Broncos personnel were seen flooding Mile High Stadium with marijuana smoke, inundating the stadium with copious clouds of the mind-altering chemical moments before the game. Sources claim Denver Broncos staff also flooded the Chief’s lockeroom with a constant stream of marijuana smoke before the game and during halftime, as they have done with other teams for the last two years.

“It is suspicious when you have Charles dropping five your toss-ups and Peyton Manning chucking 60-yard touchdown passes off his left foot to his receivers, our guys hardly able to keep their balance and giggling,” a stoic Andy Reid said, saying the Chiefs will get beyond this game and prepare for San Diego next week.

Chiefs fans watching the game on Jumbo-tron back at Arrowhead Stadium were equally skeptical. ”You have to wonder if the Broncos are trying to give out contact high to incoming teams. They train in marijuana-laden conditions, other teams cannot compete with that. There is a conspiracy going on here and it involves the government of Colorado itself,” Chiefs fan Nadia Botwin stated.

Apparently marijuana culture is so pervasive here that it caused Peyton Manning to fall astray, and the Broncos’ woes are to be blamed on marijuana and the betrayal of Tim Tebow. (On a side note, marijuana smoked with the Denver Broncos also turned Shaun White into Eric Stoltz.)

Marijuana’s not the only thing causing our world to go to hell in a handbasket, though. The recent solar flares are a result of God’s wrath at gay marriage. Oh, and Obama’s to blame for 9/11, I guess because he’s invented time travel.

 

A bit of water

And, of course, the federal government is here to help.

Because if we were to help ourselves, by, say, flying drones over the flood areas to create damage maps, that would be bad.

In the wake of the recent floods in Colorado, Falcon UAV has spent the last three days providing volunteer aerial services to the Boulder County Emergency Operations Center (EOC) and the Incident Management Team (IMT).  On Thursday afternoon while all National Guard aircraft were grounded due to weather Falcon UAV was proud to have been the only aircraft that was able to take flight to support the flood efforts in Lyons.

Early Saturday morning Falcon UAV was heading up to Lyons to complete a damage assessment mapping flight when we received a call from our Boulder EOC point of contact who notified us that FEMA had taken over operations and our request to fly drones was not only denied but more specifically we were told by FEMA that anyone flying drones would be arrested.

A certain cob-logger may or may not remember driving through the town of Lyons on the way to Estes Park a few years go. Lyons is fairly well destroyed*, and the road that we drove up to Estes Park is closed indefinitely; there’s some doubt as to whether Highways 34 and 36 will be able to be repaired before snow prevents further work.

Of course, the WBC is planning on picketing Boulder because the fags brought the floods upon Colorado. What their rationalization for Weld and Larimer Counties, two of the most conservative, God-fearing counties in the state, flooding, is beyond me.

*The third picture is the garage of one of my fake pretend internet friends. I offered him the use of my sump pump when I heard his house had flooded, when I saw that picture I realized how absolutely ridiculous that was.

“Sinful Colorado, floods are your punishment”

I think “Sinful Colorado” may replace “Colorful Colorado” as the state marketing slogan.

Screencap below the fold in case Craigslist takes the hilarity down.

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Marijuana legalization may be repealed in Colorado if taxes aren’t approved by voters.

Personally, I’m in favor of the repeal. I’m not particularly anti-marijuana. I wouldn’t mind if it was eventually decriminalized in an orderly fashion with taxes already in place, after fifteen or twenty other states had decriminalized it. The problem I have is that I’m encountering a number of people who moved to Colorado or plan to move to Colorado solely because they can smoke weed, and I’m encountering it more and more in situations where I’m on a family outing, kids in tow, and someone is lighting up within nose-shot. Maybe this jackassery is due to the newness of decriminalization and that eventually things will settle down, but given that weed seems to appeal to young counterculture and your typical young counterculturist doesn’t give a rat’s ass about anyone but themselves, I’m not hopeful.

Man, the last couple days have just not been funny. I mean, it’s sort of funny watching McCain get all jealous about a new maverick getting his press, but the laughs have been few and far between.

Via Doug Ross’ always depressing Larwyn’s Lynx, we see this hilarity from Cruz, I was out until around 3pm (5 east coast time) and watched most of the rest, but I missed this.

And I’m pretty certain–for the record, I can confirm that no teleprompter was in front of the senator from Kentucky’s desk,” said Cruz, taking a shot at President Obama’s frequent use of Teleprompters. “Senator Rand Paul, Jimmy Stewart would be proud, sir.”

A shot across the bows of TOTUS.

The Puppy Blender notices something funny about the unemployment numbers, but he forgot the most important demographic

ANOTHER UPDATE: So, basically, the more likely you are to have voted for Obama, the more likely you are to still be unemployed:

WHITES: 6.8%…

BLACKS: 13.8%…

HISPANICS: 9.6%…

TEENAGERS: 25.1%…

The dead, they voted from him 100% and have 0% employment.

This is the part where I defend the Rev Jesse

Jesse Jackson Compares Hugo Chavez To Founding Fathers…

I agree, they’re all dead. Of course, I’m happy about his being dead, not so happy about the rest.

What the fuck is up with California? When last we looked they were $billions in the red and Gov Moonbeam was cutting a few $million.

The new cell phone program will offer “250 talk minutes and 250 text messages” per month to anyone making less than $14,702.

If they were hoping to make it crash and burn as soon as possible, I’d be with them, but they’re counting on Obama pulling their chestnuts out of the fire.

Lifeline is a federal program paid for by a tax on phone bills called the Universal Service Charge. Enrollment in the program has skyrocketed since free cell phones were offered. The FCC has estimated the program will cost $3.3 billion by 2014.

See? Obama doesn’t have enough money for kids to tour the White House but money for free cell phones? Got ya covered.

This one is fucked up. As we all know, Obama always sides against the democracy/republic (note: Not People’s Republic and definitely not Democratic People’s Republic, he loves them), so now we see him sending a crony of Chavez to Chavez’ funeral

President Obama is sending a lawmaker whose relationship with Hugo Chavez has come under scrutiny in the past to represent the United States at the Venezuelan strongman’s funeral on Friday.

The only way I read that is Obama’s letting whoever takes over Chavez’ thugocracy know he’s got their back.

I’m torn on this one, there was one Dem who helped Rand Paul in his filibuster that has McCain’s Depends in a bunch and this guy says (Here’s the info, you decide what you want to do)

So, I would like to encourage my conservative friends to take a little time out from the Paul-a-palooza and show a little love for the sassy Senator from Oregon, perhaps thanking him for having some backbone. His contact information:

Senator Ron Wyden’s Website: http://www.wyden.senate.gov/
Contact Wyden email page: http://www.wyden.senate.gov/contact
Washington, DC Office: 221 Dirksen Senate Office Bldg., Washington, D.C., 20510
tel: (202) 224-5244
fax: (202) 228-2717

Me? I’m not fer it. He wants to hang out with people like Nancy Pelosi that’s his fucking problem. Why would me saying “attaboy” do any good? And why should I give him an attaboy for having the courage to want the president to explain if he can kill me? The worst part? That was ballsy, and that’s a whole nother can of shit.

A proponent of one of Colorado’s gun grabbing bills says

“I don’t know how on earth they can draw a casual relationship… I make no assertion that this bill will either increase or reduce violent crime. That is not the premise of the bill… I suppose more knowledge is better than less.”

Well duh. It’s about controlling free people. Trying to control criminals is hard, they don’t follow the laws.

Let Eric explain, he does it pretty well. In a long post about illegal aliens destroying the environment he writes about college students doing the same thing in Ann Arbor

Sure, there are laws against littering and dumping, but like most laws, such laws are for the law abiding. I don’t need a law to “deter” me from throwing my kitchen garbage in the street, so such laws are lost on me. Of course, for the kind of people who do throw their trash in the street, the laws are equally useless, for they are as undeterred as they are undeterrable. Moreover, the police tend not to enforce littering laws against the littering classes. It’s a question of priorities; police don’t want to squander time on “quality of life” issues. Not when there are plenty of opportunities to raise revenue ticketing affluent citizens going too fast on their way to work. The latter are much easier to deal with, and can be depended on to pay the fines that are the lifeblood of the system. This is easy to understand if you put yourself in the position of a cop. Who would you rather deal with? An affluent speeder who will take the ticket and drive away, or a bottom feeder who is unwilling even to toss his garbage into the nearest trash can and who might give you lice?

Perzactly. For those who think I overthink stuff, read Eric’s site. He’s the master of making connections that don’t look all that connected until he’s done.

US out of  Afghanistan!

We can confirm that one ISAF-contracted civilian died when three individuals wearing Afghan National Security Forces uniforms and driving an ANSF vehicle forced their way on base and turned their weapons against International Security Assistance Force service members and civilians today in eastern Afghanistan. All three individuals were killed during the engagement and the area has been secured by ISAF and ANSF. Afghan and coalition officials are looking into the circumstances of this incident.

Fuck the boy fucking savgages. I’ll tell you the “circumstances”, those fucking boy-fucking savages like killing Americans. I say we tell them we’re leaving, have some SF guys make a few house calls then drop a bunch of MOABs around the place, including both sides of the Afghanistan/Pakistan border and let them know they really don’t want us coming back, cuz next time we won’t be landing, we’ll just send B-52s, A-10s, AC-130s and Apaches. Have a nice day.

I’ve been seeing this article since early in the Aughts, the Sun is refusing to do what solar scientists think it should be doing.

Sunspot numbers are well below their values from 2011, and strong solar flares have been infrequent,’ the space agency says.

The image above shows the Earth-facing surface of the Sun on February 28, 2013, as observed by the Helioseismic and Magnetic Imager (HMI) on NASA’s Solar Dynamics Observatory.

It observed just a few small sunspots on an otherwise clean face, which is usually riddled with many spots during peak solar activity.

But the Sun is still quiet, and that’s why global worming is “suspended”, not because Gaia stepped out for a beer.

This makes me laugh.

Experts have been baffled by the apparent lack of activity – with many wondering if NASA simply got it wrong.

The hell you say! James Hansen’s group getting the Sun wrong?!?!?!?! Will Wonders Never Cease?

Why, next you’ll be saying that Global Worming will not cause the Earth to Explode! (hilarious PDF warning)

The heat generated inside our planet is predominantly of radionic (nuclear) origin. Hence, Earth in
its entirety can be considered a slow nuclear reactor with its solid ”inner core” providing a major contribution to the total energy output. Since radionic heat is generated in the entire volume and cooling can only occur at the surface, the highest temperature inside Earth occurs at the center of the inner core. Overheating the center of the inner core reactor due to the so-called greenhouse effect on the surface of Earth may cause a meltdown condition, an enrichment of nuclear fuel and a gigantic atomic explosion.

You have to admire the mind that thought that one up. My only question is, was it for real or did Steamboat McGoo slip one in on them?

Turnout in CO, 10am

Posted: November 6, 2012 by aliceaitch in Fun with Elections, WTF Is Wrong With Colorado

ACN: 3197

AEL: 2211

DEM: 653,450

GRN: 4168

LBR: 11203

REP: 688,303

UAF: 547,437

Presented without context:

Valle talked about the mechanics of fitting a woman’s body into an oven

This guy looks surprisingly like Jessica Ridgeway’s alleged murderer, which makes me wonder if we’re starting to see the first tick-tick-tickings of a genetic time bomb that’s going to blow and cause the Mayan end of the world.  At least I live not too far from the Denver Airport, I can go hide in the catacombs in the basement since it was set up to protect us during the coming of the New World Order.

This post is tmi3rd’s fault.  He also pointed out that they both vaguely resemble Justin Bieber, which confirms my suspicions about the end of the world nearing.

Some people are amazing

Posted: August 17, 2012 by aliceaitch in Win!, WTF Is Wrong With Colorado

Two frequently climbed 14,000+ foot mountains (known as 14ers) in Colorado are Mt. Evans and Mt. Bierstadt.  They are both relatively easy (for a 14er) climbs on their own, both with Class II routes to the summit.  A Class II route may not be an easy trail, you might occasionally have to put a hand out onto a rock for balance.  Evans and Bierstadt share a saddle called the Sawtooth, which is a Class III route.  Class III means that you will likely be using your hands, you probably won’t need ropes to climb it but it might be a good idea to have them with you.

On August 11 at about 7pm, a hiker named Scott Washburn made a post on the website 14ers.com, stating he and his wife Amanda were hiking the Sawtooth when they found an abandoned German Shepherd.  The dog’s paws were cracked and covered in dried blood and the dog appeared dehydrated and gaunt.  Despite giving the dog food and water and bandaging its paws, they were unable to convince her to walk down with them.  The size of the dog (around 100 pounds) made it impossible for the couple to carry the dog down the Class III terrain on their own. The Washburns called the local Search and Rescue organization but were told that the services were for humans, not pets.

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