Archive for the ‘Zombies!’ Category

Good News:

The bloody civil war in Syria and Iran’s efforts to come in from the diplomatic cold will drive the agenda next week …(at) Davos.

Bad News:

…not be Davos with the presence of celebs …Hollywood heartthrob Matt Damon…Bono …and Goldie Hawn

You have to love the description of Goldie though, “erstwhile US comedy star Goldie Hawn”

That’s cold.

Good News: ISIS is losing in Syria

The Al-Qaeda-linked Islamic State of Iraq and al-Sham has reached out to other rebel groups in Syria to head off infighting,

Bad News: That means Hezbollah is winning and that means winning in Lebanon.

Top Hezbollah MP Mohammad Raad on Sunday said that his party was unwilling to discuss the ministerial statement before the formation of a government,

In other words, “We’re going to be terrorists you sheep.

Bad News: China is spoiling for a war in the South China Sea, Korea and Taiwan.

“Those borders where our army has won victories are more peaceful and stable, but those where we were too timid have more disputes.”

Goodish News: The Philippines are pushing back.

Gazmin, (Philippines Sec Def V) visiting a military camp in the northern Philippines, said the Hainan law did not apply to Philippine territorial waters, some of which overlap with those of China which claims most of the South China Sea.

“We will not follow their rules in our own territory. Why do we need permission from another country that does not own our fishing grounds? These are ours,” he told reporters.

More Goodish News: The Philippines are noticing that China is actually preparing for war.

Stephen Den Beste always said that we aren’t afraid enough of the Japanese, I’ve always believed him, which leads to…

Weird News To Note: From the Japan Times

One can only wonder what sort of tale American “techno-thriller” writer Tom Clancy …might have spun from the scenario that’s now unfolding in the East China Sea.

Alas, Mr. Clancy passed away of an undisclosed illness on Oct. 1, …

Buh? You’re talking about fighting the most populous nation on the Earth and you’re wondering what the hell Tom Clancy would have to say about it?

Good News: We have a decent chance for a zombie apocalypse (or linking link bait)

America’s Number One Prescription Sleep Aid Could Trigger ‘Zombies,’ Murder and Other Disturbing Behavior

An aside, you’re characterizing zombies and murder as “disturbing behavior”? Heh.

Bad News: They’re already in charge in some places.

The San Francisco Inquisition is now itching to roast Maria Conchita Alonso alive.  The charge: blasphemy.  She not only dared to support a Tea Party candidate for governor, but also used the term “illegal” in reference to migrants from south of the border who sneak into the United States without a visa or any kind of permit.

She  was supposed to be in the Vagina Monologues. Isn’t that some sort of free speech thing? I don’t know, I don’t have one. I have rented them though so I suppose I should find out.

Another aside, listen to her in The Running Man and then listen to Selma Hayek and try to figure out who is who.

Good News: Scientists are starting to notice the Sun is not cooperating.

Bad News: These idiots can’t give up their religion. After a few paragraphs talking about the Maunder Minimum and other minimums causing outrageously cold condition we get this:

And while some have argued that ebbs and flows in the Sun’s activity are driving the climate – overriding the effect of greenhouse gas emissions, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change concludes that solar variation only makes a small contribution to the Earth’s climate.

A trace gas (less than .04% or under 4 parts in 10,000) is driving the climate more than that great glowing orb of nukular fire whose effects (noon in a desert), or lack thereof (northern cold areas), can kill you in a matter of hours from 93,000,000 miles.

How do you even talk to someone who so smugly believes that idiocy?

That’s the worst part of global warmmongering, you can’t do real science on our effects on the climate, you have to prove CO2 is gonna KILLS US ALL!!!!!!!.

If you find that say, the Great Brown Cloud of Asia has more effect on the environment than all the autos and flatulent cows in the world, well, you’re a denier and you can’t get your stuff published.

The Science Is Settled.  Heretic.

Good News: Arizona has rights to lots of water from the Colorado for irrigation.

Bad News: California needs that water.

Worse News: Klamath Falls had rights to water for irrigation too.

There’s a spring on the patch of land where my apt is and there isn’t another one anywhere close.
When it all falls apart, I still think I’ll head to the mountains. There are no terrain features here, just flat scrub while the Salt River flows through mountain valleys that have pretty much ready made strong points on or near water. At least I’ll have water for the trip. Hopefully I get there soon enough that the residents won’t be organized to keep riff-raff like me out.

Unless this….

Dick Clark

… involves this…

Dick_Clarks_head-500x380

I’m not interested.

Suck It Bitches!

Posted: October 23, 2013 by veeshir in Zombies!

Something I’d never thought about.

Zombies are carrion.

I live in a desert in AZ.

If there’s one thing there’s a plethora of in a desert, it’s carrion eaters.

When  an ambulance or police siren goes by on the main road a mile or so away you can hear a whole bunch of coyotes howling like tortured ghosts.

There are always birds of prey going by, including a huge freaking raven(s?), or the biggest crow I’ve ever seen.

While you easterners are fighting for your lives, I’ll be posting movies of coyotes bringing down the zombie hordes and hawks pecking their brains out as they land on their shoulders and go for the eyes.

To repeat myself, suck it bitches!

 

Two totally different movies, both just happening to revolve around some apocalyptic scenario.

“This is the End” was very disappointing.  I mean, I knew it was going to be dumb — that was the premise.  But it was idiotic, and not particularly funny, unless you find the consumption of copious amounts of drugs to be inherently funny.

I mean, there are stoner flicks, where people get high and do dumb things have wacky adventures, and there are movies where drugs are part of the main plot, and there are movies where there is incidental drug use that’s about setting and character development, and of course, some overlap among those three categories. But the first, I dunno, twenty minutes or so of this film is basically and ode to recreational drugs, first and foremost weed, to little apparent cinematic end.  Ok, coked-out Michael Cera was mildly amusing.

Seth Rogen smokes weed? You don’t say…

Anyway, the movie has its moments, but most of those were in the trailer.  I give it a 3 on a 10-scale.

“World War Z” was about a 6.5 on a 10-scale.  Disclaimer: I have had no exposure to the source material.  As a basic horror film it was a little light on the gore.  There is very little character development of anybody other than Brad Pitt, and not much there either.

The IDF chick is sorta cute despite the GI-Jane haircut.  She sticks with Pitt longer than anybody else during his adventures, but we never really learn anything about her either.

Zombie films need to be either about (1) the interaction of the survivors, (2) the development of some sort of Christ-figure capable of saving everybody, or (3) pure gore and terror.  WW-Z was light on all three.

To the extent that WW-Z was at all terrifying, it was through the use of not just fast-zombies, but crystal-meth fast zombies in the opening scene.  I mean, it was practically a river of zekes flowing through the streets of Philadelphia.  When you start questioning the plausibility of the zombie apocalypse scenario in a zombie film, that’s not exactly starting out on the right foot.

The end was anticlimactic.  I suppose in this sense they were probably bound by the source material, but I really couldn’t know that for sure.  If you like zombie movies, go see it, but if you’re on the fence about this one, just go ahead and skip it.

Anybody see Man of Steel?

Got tied up today, so here’s a short round.

This one really pisses me off. It’s the fucking coldest thing you could do to people.

You’ve all seen the story about the tv station broadcasting a zombie warning. People seem to think it’s funny.

Me? I think of the poor bastards finding out that the warning was fake. Man, in about 20 minutes I’d have my windows boarded up and be on my way to loot Wal Mart shooting all the people staggering around on the way.

WTF? They’re having a deal where you can vote for a name for Pluto’s moons. Wait, Pluto has moons? You know what has moons? Planets, that’s fucking what. How about you assholes admit it’s a planet before we name its moons?

How about a Say Uncle link?

Poor fucking Ralphie, I hope he doesn’t move to NJ cuz Black Bart would eat his lunch.

Some appeals court in NJ upheld the state’s ban on buying more than on gun a month. Wait, check that, more than one BB fucking gun a month. BB guns apparently lead to murder or are for murder or something.

Seriously. How do you talk to people like that? “It’s a gun, it leads to more guns and when people have them they’ll go on to kill!!! Just like that guy in California.”

Remember when  bb guns just shot your eye out? Good times, good times.

Bob Owens has some hilarity that, if it happens, will surely signal the end.

So we all know politicians are idiots, that’s a given. In Illinois they passed an unconstitutional law that Teh Peepul actually fought, and they won! So Illinois had to fix their, “No handguns for anybody not a cop, union thug or on a security detail for someone important” law.

So they didn’t fix the law because people don’t get guns in commie dictatorships. Since they didn’t fix it, the laws of the United States say they’re supposed to default to constitutional carry (concealed carry without a permit).

Not gonna happen of course (it’s fucking Illinois, the law is meaningless to the rulers and only serves to beat the subjects down), but the chaos that their actions cause will be hilarious.

My prediction for the SOTU I just found out is about to happen.

Obama will blame all the bad stuff on others, say that those others are stopping him from fixing stuff, talk about how they need bi-partisan solutions so the GOP needs to get out of the way so he can fix the country.

The only suspense will be whether he calls on the GOP to be bi-partisany before he says they need to get out of the way or after.

Important Update!

Well, not that important, but it’s an update!

I like looking at the search terms that hit our blog most times, sometimes I’m pretty creeped out at the stuff that leads to here.

Three people came to the blog on this search, or three different parts of the blog were linked from that search or the same guy clicked the link three times.

where’s the creepy bunny with the missing ear carving a swastika on the wall with a plastic spoon?

Where? Indeed. I thought it might be Bun Bun, but he has both ears and uses a switchblade, so I’m stumped.

Later: I edited the “Where? Indeed” part.

Ahhhh, it’s that time again. Time for manly men to rub up against each other, grab each others’ balls and jump on top of each other into big piles and get all grabby under the pile.

Huh, it sounds almost as gay as soccer when you put it like that.

Eh, who cares? Tonight is a great start to the season, because it’s what football is all about.

Making Cowboys cry.

IMPORTANT UPDATE:

Dear NFL, next year get some decent strippers, the ones you had this year weren’t very attractive. (sspspspspspspsp).

Oh, they were singers? Well, next year get strippers. Only a very small percentage of your audience is interested in either of those two, more than half your football audience would tune in for strippers. As it was, we were all watching Cash Cab, waiting for 5:30. Oh, and Boycott Lemur King.  A million monkeys typing at a million keyboards would all blow their own brains out if they actually put out what he blogs.

Now back to our regularly, scheduled post.

The second half of the title is an aside. I’ve been substitute teaching, I started in May, did some other stuff over the summer where I made 3X the money, and then quit that job I hated and I’m back to subbing until I get my regular teacher cert.

Tomorrow the class I’m teaching will be watching The Day After Tomorrow. I just can’t wait. I’ll have to be careful, but I’m going to ask them questions, make them answer them and maybe, just maybe, I can show 30 kids that Gorequemada’s crockumentary is about as much a documentary as Zombieland.

And if anybody says Zombieland is a how-to-survive-the-zombie-apocalypse documentary, I have three words for you: magazine-fed-weapon.

Anybody who thinks a double-barrel shotgun, a mare’s leg with a capacity of 6 rounds or fewer or even a shotgun with an 8 round tube mag are guns to be using against zombies, well, have fun being a zombie.

NOT SO IMPORTANT UPDATE:

Well fuck. Veeshirs are crying instead. That’s not the way it was supposed to end.

And to add insult to injury, I had to listen to those three idiots. Eh, it could be worse. The 70s had worse ass-kickings with Dandy fucking Don singing, “Turn out the lights, the party’s over” and Cosell intoning about how the  Cowboys are great.

Cockneys vs. Zombies!

Posted: August 3, 2012 by aliceaitch in The Big Screen, Zombies!

Red band trailer!