Archive for the ‘Zombies!’ Category

Short Round The Tubes

Posted: February 12, 2013 by veeshir in FAIL, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Liberal FAIL, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, This Is My BOOMSTICK!, WTF is wrong with Illinois, Zombies!
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Got tied up today, so here’s a short round.

This one really pisses me off. It’s the fucking coldest thing you could do to people.

You’ve all seen the story about the tv station broadcasting a zombie warning. People seem to think it’s funny.

Me? I think of the poor bastards finding out that the warning was fake. Man, in about 20 minutes I’d have my windows boarded up and be on my way to loot Wal Mart shooting all the people staggering around on the way.

WTF? They’re having a deal where you can vote for a name for Pluto’s moons. Wait, Pluto has moons? You know what has moons? Planets, that’s fucking what. How about you assholes admit it’s a planet before we name its moons?

How about a Say Uncle link?

Poor fucking Ralphie, I hope he doesn’t move to NJ cuz Black Bart would eat his lunch.

Some appeals court in NJ upheld the state’s ban on buying more than on gun a month. Wait, check that, more than one BB fucking gun a month. BB guns apparently lead to murder or are for murder or something.

Seriously. How do you talk to people like that? “It’s a gun, it leads to more guns and when people have them they’ll go on to kill!!! Just like that guy in California.”

Remember when  bb guns just shot your eye out? Good times, good times.

Bob Owens has some hilarity that, if it happens, will surely signal the end.

So we all know politicians are idiots, that’s a given. In Illinois they passed an unconstitutional law that Teh Peepul actually fought, and they won! So Illinois had to fix their, “No handguns for anybody not a cop, union thug or on a security detail for someone important” law.

So they didn’t fix the law because people don’t get guns in commie dictatorships. Since they didn’t fix it, the laws of the United States say they’re supposed to default to constitutional carry (concealed carry without a permit).

Not gonna happen of course (it’s fucking Illinois, the law is meaningless to the rulers and only serves to beat the subjects down), but the chaos that their actions cause will be hilarious.

My prediction for the SOTU I just found out is about to happen.

Obama will blame all the bad stuff on others, say that those others are stopping him from fixing stuff, talk about how they need bi-partisan solutions so the GOP needs to get out of the way so he can fix the country.

The only suspense will be whether he calls on the GOP to be bi-partisany before he says they need to get out of the way or after.

Important Update!

Well, not that important, but it’s an update!

I like looking at the search terms that hit our blog most times, sometimes I’m pretty creeped out at the stuff that leads to here.

Three people came to the blog on this search, or three different parts of the blog were linked from that search or the same guy clicked the link three times.

where’s the creepy bunny with the missing ear carving a swastika on the wall with a plastic spoon?

Where? Indeed. I thought it might be Bun Bun, but he has both ears and uses a switchblade, so I’m stumped.

Later: I edited the “Where? Indeed” part.

Football and Global Worming

Posted: September 5, 2012 by veeshir in Edumakashun, Exploding things, L.L.A.P.H., The Little Screen, Zombies!
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Ahhhh, it’s that time again. Time for manly men to rub up against each other, grab each others’ balls and jump on top of each other into big piles and get all grabby under the pile.

Huh, it sounds almost as gay as soccer when you put it like that.

Eh, who cares? Tonight is a great start to the season, because it’s what football is all about.

Making Cowboys cry.

IMPORTANT UPDATE:

Dear NFL, next year get some decent strippers, the ones you had this year weren’t very attractive. (sspspspspspspsp).

Oh, they were singers? Well, next year get strippers. Only a very small percentage of your audience is interested in either of those two, more than half your football audience would tune in for strippers. As it was, we were all watching Cash Cab, waiting for 5:30. Oh, and Boycott Lemur King.  A million monkeys typing at a million keyboards would all blow their own brains out if they actually put out what he blogs.

Now back to our regularly, scheduled post.

The second half of the title is an aside. I’ve been substitute teaching, I started in May, did some other stuff over the summer where I made 3X the money, and then quit that job I hated and I’m back to subbing until I get my regular teacher cert.

Tomorrow the class I’m teaching will be watching The Day After Tomorrow. I just can’t wait. I’ll have to be careful, but I’m going to ask them questions, make them answer them and maybe, just maybe, I can show 30 kids that Gorequemada’s crockumentary is about as much a documentary as Zombieland.

And if anybody says Zombieland is a how-to-survive-the-zombie-apocalypse documentary, I have three words for you: magazine-fed-weapon.

Anybody who thinks a double-barrel shotgun, a mare’s leg with a capacity of 6 rounds or fewer or even a shotgun with an 8 round tube mag are guns to be using against zombies, well, have fun being a zombie.

NOT SO IMPORTANT UPDATE:

Well fuck. Veeshirs are crying instead. That’s not the way it was supposed to end.

And to add insult to injury, I had to listen to those three idiots. Eh, it could be worse. The 70s had worse ass-kickings with Dandy fucking Don singing, “Turn out the lights, the party’s over” and Cosell intoning about how the  Cowboys are great.

Cockneys vs. Zombies!

Posted: August 3, 2012 by aliceaitch in The Big Screen, Zombies!
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Red band trailer!

As long as we’re being nostalgic for our childhoods

Posted: June 10, 2012 by aliceaitch in Anklebiting rugrats, Brevity etc., Edumakashun, Random Crap, Win!, Zombies!
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Stupid questions time

Posted: June 4, 2012 by aliceaitch in Stupid Question Time, Zombies!
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Why is this zombie primarily trying to eat minorities?  I would think the least likely place to get shot pulling this sort of prank is in a young white liberal neighborhood.  Doesn’t Miami have any of those?  Am I being racist even suggesting that?

 

via Reddit.

Cross Your Fingers

Posted: May 31, 2012 by veeshir in Zombies!
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I’m not linking anybody because they’re either crazy or the Puff-Hos, but apparently we still have a chance for a zombie apocalypse before the election, supposedly the zomebie attack in Miami wasn’t caused by bath salts, it was caused by a zombie virus. Do a search for “zombie virus bath salts” and you’ll see.

Possibly crazy person on youtube

 

As an aside, Guess Where Veeshir has been

A. Finally working after almost a year

B. Masturbating

C. Enjoying the fine weather in AZ with his fine convertible

Answer below the fold.

(more…)

Everyone stay calm, there is no Zombie Apocalypse starting

Posted: May 30, 2012 by aliceaitch in Zombies!
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Two handguns, $54,000 in cash, and a vial of unidentified liquid later…  The video is sort of morbidly fascinating but not something you want to watch at work unless you’re a Congresscritter, in which case a chant of “STOP STEALING MY MONEY!” should be considered a message from each and every one of your constituents.

This seems like an odd, isolated, drug-addled incident, that surely only shares a coincidental proximity in time to the dude who chowed down on his friend’s face and the guy who threw his own intestines at police this morning.  These are certainly not related in any way.

This is a no-brainer

Posted: May 6, 2012 by aliceaitch in Random Crap, WTF Is Wrong With Colorado, Zombies!
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SMOD vs Mike the Headless Chicken.

Gun question: semiauto rifle and handgun taking the same ammo?

Posted: April 21, 2012 by socklessjoe in Notes on the Revolution, You'll pry 'em from my cold dead hands, Zombies!
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A fake intertubes friend of mine posed this question.  I’m not sure it’s an entirely good idea, but for shits and giggles I thought I’d throw it out to the Moron Nation:

Fake Intertubes Friend:

Gun nut friends: Looking to purchase a semiautomatic rifle and handgun that take the same ammo. What’s the low hanging fruit, here? 9mm?

It was later pointed out that he was looking for “something with a bit more pop” than .22.

I guess I’ll ask this since my friend didn’t — is this even a good idea?  Which brings us to the purpose of the question:

For this particular purpose, all-purpose defense and emergency hunting. The former will actually be taken care of separately by a 12 gauge. The long-gun is for the emergency hunting and super-emergency (and exceedingly unlikely) defense.

The handgun, mostly, is so I have one. I am not entirely sure they will always be so easy to acquire. So while I don’t really have a need for one now, I might someday. And if that day comes, I want to be prepared.

The ammo decision is so I can lay in a significant amount and not have to worry overmuch about which goes with which. And I would also prefer it to be common and easy to find, or (if necessary) scavenge.

I guess I understand the desire to not care what ammo goes with which weapon, but in a scavenge situation, I think having two different calibers makes more sense.

In related news, bleeding zombie targets.

Also, cob-loggers, what does the “L.L.A.P.H.” category stand for?

 

Random thoughts on zombie defense

Posted: January 15, 2012 by doubleplusundead in Zombies!
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This has been eating at me for a long time, why is it that swords, particularly your nodachi/katana/wakizashi are always touted as the bestest ever zombie melee tool?

Maybe it’s just me, but I think the katana type swords, with the possible exception of lighter rapiers have to be the about the worst possible choice for zombies, they’re a slashing weapon, yes you can cut through bone, but they’re designed to cause massive flesh wounds first and foremost.  They’re also high maintenance, you not only are going to have to sharpen frequently (assuming your blade hasn’t been chipped to hell by all the attempts to chop through vertebrae and skulls already), but they require frequent oiling and cleaning or rust is going to set in quickly.

To me, if the goal is to destroy Zed’s grey matter before he consumes yours, if you’re going with a sword type weapon for close encounters, a heavy chopping sword is the way to go, something like a falchion, grosse messer, machete, dao, dadao and chinese style butterfly swords.  You still have the maintenance, but most likely the heavier and thicker blade will take abuse better, and will chop and cleave better, and will be somewhat more useful for non-Zed killing related duties, cutting a path through thick foliage for example.

Note, swords were usually a secondary weapon for western knights and Eastern samurai even back then. Samurai were often capable archers, and primarily used a spear in combat.  European knights traditionally weren’t big on archery, but they again relied on spears or lances as their primary weapon against armored opponents, and would often swap their sword for an axe, mace, flail or warhammer if they knew they were going in against heavy armor, swords were for cutting down conscripts or fleeing troops.  Lower ground soldiers primarily used polearms in the later medieval period in combination with archery, and later guns.  Obviously smashing through metal isn’t quite the same as smashing through bone, but if a tool does a better job of smashing through metal, doesn’t it follow that it’ll do a better job smashing through bone?

Another thing to remember is the French experience in beheadings, it wasn’t all that uncommon for the executioner to have to take a couple of whacks before he cut through.  That was one of the reasons for the switch to the guillotine, the use of a very heavy angled blade was more likely to take a head off in a single cut than an executioner with a very sharp blade and a lot of experience in lopping noggins.

On top of that, swords are pretty much a one trick pony.  What else can you actually do with a sword?  Outside of a machete or a chopping sword to clear foliage, there’s not a damn thing they do.  I take the Alton Brown philosophy to my zombie prep preferences, unitaskers are to be avoided wherever possible.

I’d much rather have a sturdy crowbar, axe or hammer, they’re going to be far more versatile in that they’re actual tools you can use for other tasks.  What I really like are multifunction entry tools, something like a Stanley FUBAR, Firemaxx or Hammermaxx fire multitools, a Halligan Bar, or even the old style hammer/tomahawk tools.  Most of these can do at least a serviceable job in a number of tasks, including popping Zed’s grape when needed.  A quality sword is going to be lighter, but again, it’s only good for one thing, and if you’re bugging out, there’s a limit to how much crap you’re gonna be able to lug with you, it’s the same reason Swiss Army knives exist.

On top of that is cost, a good sword is not cheap, damned cool, but expensive as hell.  A good quality sword is probably going to run at least $500-750, you can get a titanium Halligan Bar for that, for an extra pound or two, you’re getting far more function than a sword and every bit as much zombie dispatching ability, and it’s lower maintenance.  FUBARs and Firemaxx tools can be had for well under $200, and a normal steel Halligan is normally a touch over $200.

Am I totally off base here?  I’m curious to see if anyone has a different view on the sword, or if they have something they like better than the entry tools I like.

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