I See Somebody Has Been Doing Kegstands At The Dumbass Ultra Tap Tonight

Posted: November 15, 2010 by Edward von Bear in GOP FAIL, GOP Win!, Lame, Liberal FAIL, Nanny State, News, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, Op/Sped, Teh Funneh, Uncategorized, Zombies!
Tags: , , ,

Seriously, how the fuck can I respond to something this fucking stupid?

The “American Dream” is a worldwide viral phenomenon – with many more potentially dire consequences than AIDS or Avian Flu. We have exported this thing from one end of the earth to the other – it’s like the gifted puppy that can never be housetrained, it grows up, still, so cute and familiar – your proud of your gift, it craps on the floor and tears down the curtains – it’s [sic] new owners overlook the crap; the dog is so cute – however, you can’t get over the crap and torn curtains when you visit.

Wow. Just wow. What can I add? Well, first, if you talk about puppies, I must include this as a partial response:

*I was going to steal the facehumping dog gif from McGoo’s Place, but I fucked it up.
Anyway, I also have to add the following:

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck You! Star Spangle fuck you up your already widened assorifice with a 21 gun salute from the fucktempered fuckcruiser of freedom litorially forged from the fuckfurnace of liberty. Fuck you for equating freedom and liberty to a deadly virus. Fuck you for shitting all over the American people and their vote this month. And pierfuck you and those who agree with your arrogance as if you were a hooker passed over by the boys on shore leave.

Do you seriously think that freedom and liberty are bad things? Do you seriously fucking believe that trying to help people around the fucking world escape the poverty, desperation, torture, and destruction that befalls oppressed people is no better than a disease that has ravaged whole communities and nations? Do you seriously fucking believe that people would be better off unfree, and living in hellholes where they cannot address grievances about their quality of life, lest they get sent to a gulag? And do you really, really, really fucking want the environmental destruction that comes with a totalitarian society? If you truly believe what you wrote, then you are so fucking stupid, you will need to get skullfucked by Zombie Friedman’s enormous powercock of awesomeness just to clear your fucking mind of the stupidity that oozes out of it like a sorority girl passed out on a pledge couch on initiation night before we can even fucking start to show you how fucking stupid you are.

Yeah, I really fucking think that exporting freedom is an awful thing akin to a disease. In fact, if it truly is, then I fucking hope more countries get it, because the places where it has prospered (S. Korea, Japan, Israel, Chile, Germany, Australia, etc) vice where it has been denied (N. Korea, Cuba, Most of Africa, Venezuela, etc) is striking*. But you don’t fucking see that, Commander of the Cockcuddlers, for your knee-jerk hatred of America and what made her great and a symbol of fucking hope and opportunity for others clouds your ability to think rationally. You don’t see that because you think only of what America has done wrong, and what capitalism has done wrong, ignoring all that has been done right by them. And you don’t see it because you are a fucking dickrag who is celebrated on a shithead site for what you write, so you feel no desire to fact and logic check your own fucking ass once in a while.

Oh, and that puppy crack? Really fucking cute. Fucking claiming that we are untrainable dogs while you are the wise sage who can see through it all? Yeah, how’d that fucking work out for you a few weeks ago, you fucking fucktron from the atom of fuckheadedness? You had two fucking years, and your “wise” leadership fucked all of us over the barrel of insolvency, so goalfuck you with a pylon for all I care. Maybe the innocence and common decency of a puppy or a child, unclouded by the stupidity and academic goatse you fucking fuckjacks force upon our youth, could see through your bullshit and drop a load on your shoes for what you did.

Yes, the fucking puppies and children told you what you were doing was wrong, but you failed to listen, and now you will pay. Now you will have to deal with the puppies and children running the show, and maybe we could do a better job, in all of our unlearned state, for we are smart enough to know that fools such as you were incapable of doing anything of value, all while sneering at us as the stupid one. You have failed so mightily, the failfuck award has been retired because nothing will be able to top what you have done.

So fuck you, fuckdolts of fuckjackery. Fuck your arrogant stupidity. And fuck you on the way out the door as we puppies now run the show.

*Yes, I know the oil tick countries are rich and unfree, but just let me rant.

  1. Sean M. says:

    We are dumber than stinken sticks!

    Is it possible to die from an overdose of schadenfreude?

  2. C Monster says:

    Joe Sestak tried that clean-up-the-dog-shit ploy in his last campaign ad.

    In January he’ll be unemployed. Bwuhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

    Firefuck Kos with the demon dongs of a thousand zombie camels.

  3. MCPO Airdale says:

    To answer your rhetorical question; Yes, they do hate freedom and liberty that much. Most of them have been indoctrinated since pre-school that America is the largest evil in the world.

    They believe that only by tearing down America and replacing it with some sort of socialist workers paradise will they be happy and receive an unending supply of puppies and unicorns.

  4. CeeArr says:

    F*ckdolts of f*ckjackery?

    America! F*ck yeah!

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