Retail Christmas season up from last year?

Posted: January 5, 2011 by doubleplusundead in Fucking Markets
Tags: , , , , , , ,

That’s what they’re saying, I’m inclined to think there’s been a modest increase, based on my current enslavement stint in retail hell, the top line is positive certainly, but the retailers top line has pretty limited meaning, bottom line is what counts, but I do think you’ll see a modest increase in the bottom line.  I would agree with Ed’s conclusion that higher end electronics were pretty flat, that was certainly my experience this year, and competition is fierce on electronics, especially on Christmas.  One thing to keep in mind is that big ticket electronics are never moneymakers, and if things are rough, often retailers will take a hit on the big ticket item, it’s the consumables or accessories that are the moneymakers, this is why retailers have salesmen on the floor trying to sell you accessories and warranties and home setups for your big-screen and home entertainment system and all this sort of thing, because those are the moneymakers.  If electronics sales are flat, it’s because everyone had to cut down to the bone on big ticket shit, and the backend moneymakers that went with it were mediocre.  Most of you morons probably already knew all that, but you’d be amazed how many people have not a fucking clue.

Of course the worst are the smarmy little fucks and resellers that do know this and buy their big ticket shit with nothing else, all with a shit-eating grin on their mug the entire time.  Resellers you can fuck with right back though real easy, just stick a few “sold only at (retailer name here) stores” stickers on the item, they’re usually a royal pain in the ass to get off the box without ripping it to shreds, which of course looks bad when you’re trying to resell said item.  Also, if you have packing tape with your company logo, run that along one or two edges for good measure, regular customers don’t care if there’s a sticker or tape on it, it drives resellers fucking crazy, it’s a blast to see them turn red with rage.  Mwahahahaa.

The other guys you can fuck over with silence, a decent customer is likely to find out what genuinely good deals are available, a really good customer might find out that there are coupons available to salesmen in the office to take the edge off all the stuff a customer is buying, or that yeah, it’s $20 cheaper over at the competitors, but we do price match.  Don’t be the douchemallet that gets fucked by omission, I’ve watched more sales walk out that could have been tens, even hundreds cheaper because the guy felt it necessary to talk down to the lowly retail monkeys, or just be a dick in general than I care to admit.

Any excuse to post clips from Are You Being Served?, in this case, Mr Humphries being his fabulously gay self,

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