If This Guy Were An Oil Company CEO, He’d Be At Club Gitmo Right Now

Posted: January 6, 2011 by Edward von Bear in FAIL, FAIL Britannia!, Fucking Markets, I'm Afraid I Can't Blog That, It's Science!

Fuck you, Andrew Wakefield. Animalrape you forever up your pock marked ass with an uncircumcised and cialis-infused elephant bonered up with mumblefucking urges and a severely warped case of the hatefucks. Fuck whatever passes for your soul with the anger and desperation of untold numbers of parents who subjected their children to diseases such as measles because they bought into your scam. Fuck you for refusing to admit you were wrong. Fuck you for playing on the emotions of parents of autistic children, implying that they may have been at fault for what happened to their children and causing them to needlessly second-guess themselves and their actions. Fuck you for apparently scheming with an ambulance chasing lawyer. Fuck you for setting back autism research with your actions. And fuck you because I want to see you broken and disemboweled through your goatse with a syphilitic toilet snake for what you have done to science and humanity, and refusing to offer a mea culpa.

Seriously, Andrew Wakefield, in the annals of biological atrocities against mankind, you rank up there with the worst of the worst, because people became sick solely because of you and the shit you pushed. You rank up there in the annals of yellow publications with the forged Protocols of the Elders of Zion because people believed a lie and farce knowingly promulgated by you and the veneer of respectability afforded to a shithead with a degree. You rank in the annals of mass murderers and biological terrorists because diseases once believed to be defeated staged a deadly comeback because of you. And because your actions have led to so much misery, the harvest of sorrow cultivated by the seeds you planted demand that the retaliation from humanity be as swift and fucking vicious as those afforded to pirates and the Nazis.

Andrew Wakefield, the pestilence and misery you helped foment also took a psychological edge that Goebbels and Himmler are in fucking awe of as you were able to spread your lie-backed findings to millions of people in a manner that they would buy into them, fostered along by dimwitted celebrities such as Jenny McCarthy, who bought into your fuckheadedness and spread your lies to millions of people via shows such as Oprah and Larry King. And for that, you should be held accountable in a means worse than financially, especially as it relates to perforated colons in a prison cell. Thankfully, my wife and I refused to buy into your lies, despite pressure from some easily swayed relatives who thought we were poisoning our daughter by getting her vaccinated. Thankfully, we do not have to face a child who needlessly suffered from an irresponsible decision on our part. And, thankfully, we did not have to endure the challenges, emotional roller coaster, and self doubt parents of autistic children faced because of your assfistery. But because you caused people I know and care for doubt that they were doing the best for their children, you deserve nothing but hate and fuckfuckertude from the tailpipe of a roadcruiser riding on the fuckway of fury.

So fuck you, Andrew Wakefield. Fuck you with a rusty puckpipe with a camera rolling so I can hear you scream for the damage you have inflicted upon humanity. Fuck you eternally in the afterlife with a fuckbolt from Gaia tossed by those who you sent to their graves or a reduced life because of your works. And fuck you because I want to see assholes like you getting drowned in a jail cell toilet while being glassraped by a fiend for your criminal activity.

I want to see you, Andrew Wakefield, sent to whatever is beyond Hell for what you have done and created, for being throatfucked by Satan’s fuckwand is too good for you, you mass murdering fuckguzzler.

  1. Andy says:

    *wipes tear from eye*

    Beautiful, man. Just beautiful.

  2. Sean M. says:

    Do they just let anybody be a scientist in Britain these days?

  3. J.J. Sefton says:

    And then there’s DON IMUS, who, for years has been playing into and playing up this hoax, excoriating the evil drug companies for using thimerasol (sp) to preserve vaccines and keep their costs down.

    Imus is also to be, yet again, ripped a new one for his complicity.

  4. DonnieQ says:

    Damn man, just reading that stuff is giving me a boner.

  5. huerfano says:

    And Rachel Carson, too.

  6. Veeshir says:

    I look forward to all the Truth.com commercials with smug teenagers telling me to get my kids vaccinated.

  7. wiserbud says:

    At least not everyone in Hollywood fell for this line of bullshit like Jenny McBigHead, as shown by this awesome House clip:


    I remember seeing this when it first aired and nearly cheering.

  8. Eddie The Bear says:

    huerfano: thanks. I had forgotten about that one

  9. wiserbud says:

    “Meanwhile, the damage to public health continues, fueled by unbalanced media reporting

    You forgot to include a hearty “fuck you!” to all the fucking douchebags in the MFM who buy into this shit each and every time and report it like it’s the beginning of “28 Days Later” just so they can then pat themselves on the back for being “part of the solution.”

  10. Tiffani says:

    While I didn’t buy into the “Vaccines are bad and cause Autism” mantra. I did buy into the fact that my kid doesn’t need 5 vaccines in one combined shot or he doesn’t need 5 shots at one dr. visit. I still have my shot records from 1974 – 1979 and not once did I get a combo shot or receive more than 3 vaccines at any one dr. visit.

    I didn’t want him to have a reaction to getting that many shots at once, so his pediatrician and I set up a vaccination schedule so he was getting fewer shots but more frequently.

    At 4 1/2, my son is fine and doesn’t fear needles and even tells his pediatrician he’s brave because he doesn’t cry.

  11. I loved “mumblefucked” best – not least because I have no earthly clue as to what it means. That just means Eddiebear generously left it’s definition to my overly-fertile imagination! Yay!

  12. April says:

    Eddiebear, you’ve outdone yourself. Best rant eveh!

  13. vermindust says:

    I listened to some woman on Rush today say that just because Wakefield’s data was fake doesn’t mean that he’s wrong. Just because the TANG documents were forged, just because the climate data was manipulated, true believers will not change their minds.

  14. anon says:

    I’m sorry, the message isn’t quite getting through here.

    Are you saying you’re secretly fond of Dr. Wakefield?

  15. Jim Nelson says:

    The scientific method is by far the best tool we have for figuring out how the universe works. Unfortunately, the people who use it are human beings. They’re neither more nor less likely to be saints than are bankers, construction workers, or football players. Sometimes, they just make honest mistakes, but occasionally, you get one like Andrew Wakefield, who’s just a fucking scumbag crook.

  16. hutch1200 says:

    I too, had to fight 2 liberal relatives (nurse & Heart PA) to get my kids vaccinated. Fuck youse! I bought them BB guns when they each turned 5, and they didn’t shoot their eyes out either. Filthy cum guzzling media. Can Offrah be sued for practicing Medicine w/o a license?

  17. Warthog says:

    Poetry, man. Poetry.
    (But I think you violated the 5-7-5 rule somewhere…)

  18. […] Here’s the most ferocious rant I’ve ever seen.  Language alert, to the nth degree. […]

  19. […] Undead has written the greatest, filthiest rant in the history of the internet and it all starts Fuck You Andrew Wakefield! It gets much, much better from […]

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