Libtard Super-Science at its Finest

Posted: March 14, 2011 by Skylia Z Ember in FAIL, Green Goofs, It's Science!

I mean, science is one thing, but tracking down the world’s greatest “super trees”, cloning them, and selling the clones to save the environment? That’s superscience right there.

Milarch, a tree nursery operator from the northern Michigan village of Copemish, and sons Jared and Jake have been producing genetic copies of ancient trees since the 1990s. They’ve now joined with Elk Rapids businesswoman Leslie Lee and a team of researchers to establish Archangel Archive, which has a staff of 17 and an indoor tree research and production complex.

Its mission: Clone the oldest and largest individuals within the world’s most ecologically valuable tree species, and persuade people to buy and plant millions of copies — on factory grounds and college campuses; along riverbanks and city streets; in forests, farms, parks and back yards.

So, yes, the plan is really to clone a bunch of old trees (on the theory that those trees are old and tall and stuff because they’re super trees, not because they happened to be growing in the right place at the right time), convince as many people as possible to buy and plant these cloned trees, and, viola – you’ve saved the fucking environment!


  1. Ogre says:

    Man, those stupid old tree clones are going to cause a huge amount of pollution. To combat this, I propose: The Bacon Angel Archive. We clone bacon that’s been in the back of the fridge a real long time, but is still good — super bacon! — and cook up a big mess of it every morning.

    Fry it up outside if the weather’s good and/or if you’ve had plenty to drink. It’s bacon vs. trees, humanity vs. hippies. Which side are you on?

  2. And now you must cut down the mightiest super-tree in the forest with…A CLONED HERRING!

  3. alexthechick says:

    I want in on this man.

  4. Veeshir says:

    The thing is, it doesn’t have to make any sense.
    They’re doing something and they <mean well and isn’t that what really matters?
    And if they happen to make bank on gullible fools, well, that’s the price they’re willing to pay to save Mother Gaia.

    I can’t figure out the percentages, but there seems to be two types of global warmmongers.

    Those who fervently believe and those who fervently believe that your money would be much happier in their pocket.

    I used to give Gorequemada the benefit of the doubt but not any more. He actually out con-manned Clinton, and that’s not an easy thing to do.
    Sure Clinton became president and make a lot of cash and ass off that, but Gore has directed the economy of the world into his con. He has whole continents fucking themselves up the ass on his con.

  5. doubleplusundead says:

    Blah…if you’re gonna invest in a good cause as far as trees, there are several organizations that are working to revive the American Chestnut and bring it back to the forests in the North and Southeast. Unlike hippies, he American Chestnut is very useful, it produces tons of nuts (as opposed to hippies, who themselves are nuts) which can be consumed by wildlife, livestock and people, the wood is also excellent for different building applications as it’s highly resistant to rot, that’s why it was used for old barns. Mature trees also produce tannins which can and were used in making leather.

  6. MikeD says:

    As libtard ideas go, this one seems the least offensive. Yes, I know it won’t actually DO anything, but asking people to buy and plant trees is pretty harmless (even if stupid). It’s not like they’re asking the government to mandate that every US Citizen buy one of their trees (yet).

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