Livin’ La Vida Chingada Loco

Posted: July 30, 2011 by veeshir in Uncategorized

Possibly the most, “That might be crazy enough to work”  defense of rape I could imagine.

Police say the victim was walking with a friend near 34th and Troost when she became dizzy and sat down, then passed out. A short time later, a man ran over to a nearby business and said someone was being assaulted outside….

Wait for it….. wait for it…..

he said he thought the lady was dead, according to police

I mean, I know it’s not funny.

But it is. Heck, he might be able to get off (heh) with “Attempted necrophilia” or something.

Another?

It’s not as funny, much more endy. Sorry.

It is funny in a “I really hope this poor kid doesn’t have his life ruined by zero-tolerance, zero-intelligence jackaces” way.

When 18-year-old Tyell Morton put a blow-up sex doll in a bathroom stall on the last day of school, he didn’t expect school officials to call a bomb squad or that he’d be facing up to eight years in prison and a possible felony record.

,,,The Rush County Prosecutor Philip J. Caviness told The Associated Press that he doesn’t intend to seek a prison term for Morton, but said school officials acted appropriately and that the charges are warranted.

No, no they’re not you overzealous asshole.

He blew up a freaking sex doll as a joke and now they’re going to give him a felony record even with no jail time.

That’s all about being fucked up. A felony over a sex doll. You’d think the prosecutor would be too embarrassed to bring those charges, but you’d be not paying attention if you did so.

I have to admit, I can’t believe Drudge doesn’t scour that site. They’re right up his alley with stories like that and more.

Comments
  1. Storm Saxon's Gall Bladder says:

    The prank becomes a felony because the janitor perceived a felony; the crime exists only in the observer’s head. Behaviors we’ve been doing for decades are becoming crimes because of how frightened little girls see them. Oh no, he took a photograph of a train! Watch out, he bought a bag of fertilizer! That man went for a walk with a child and i must call the police! That joke you tell every easter is insensitive this year… but only to christians, so you’ll just get a letter of reprimand from HR. Used to be only the police who could turn common behavior into crimes by declareing your flashlight to be a concealed weapon or a burglary tool.

    I suppose it’s also because the SWAT team needs to justify the expence of responding to a menacing doll. Make the cops look foolish and the DA will crucify you.

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