Harry Reid should shut his wordhole

Posted: July 14, 2012 by doubleplusundead in Bipartisan FAIL, L.L.A.P.H., Shoeblogging

When American fashion icons are making a serious effort to properly dress our Olympians.  And yes, I’ve checked the intarwebs, and most people hate the uniform. I don’t, I’d tone the white trouser down with a stone or khaki, and ditch the beret and fucking wear and love it.  Seems like everyone hates the beret, I don’t love it either (clicky for 2012 Olympic uniform slideshow), but I’m not reflexively anti-beret, either.  I’m already getting annoyed by the derptarded ZOMG WE’RE NOT FRANCE comments.

The reason I don’t love Lauren’s choice in the beret is that it doesn’t work well with a well-cut navy blazer, berets have their place, this ain’t it.  I understand what Lauren was going for here, but it didn’t work that well.  The beret is far too casual for that blazer, and they just don’t suit blazers in general. I do actually think a slightly revised beret would work for the ladies of the US Olympic team, but not on the men’s uniform.  I much preferred Lauren’s 2008 uniform, with the white cap,


Though the cap is not really traditional summer wear.  What would I do instead of the beret?  I’d actually consider the boater,

It’s a classic, bold look, and a traditional summer hat that is formal enough to work with the blazer, white trouser and white bucks that Lauren chose for 2012.  Blazers and boaters are a natural match for one another.  I can understand why Lauren didn’t go with the boater, it IS a challenging look in the modern age and Lauren sure as fuck wouldn’t sell many.  However, I do believe they’d work and look excellent, better than the beret.

But, back to Harry Reid…Harry Reid can shut right the fuck up, and Chuck Schumer too.  I can assure you Chuckie’s little push to write a law requiring that the privately funded Olympic Committee use US made garments is a pander to the burnt-out husk that remains of the New York garment and textile industry.  Trust me, I know more than enough about the garment industry of the northeast and Chuckie Schumer’s close relationship to it to know what that’s all about. I really hope that Ralph Lauren and the USOC stick to their guns and tell Reid, Schumer, and anyone else that wants to be a right cunt about it all to get bent.  BTW, Lauren is providing the clothes to the US Olympic team gratis, so double fuck the haters.

And seriously, are you really ready to argue that Lauren’s uniforms are even close to as bad as the heaping bowlful of AIDS and FAIL that Roots put together in 2004?

Seriously?  What the fuck is this shit?  I thought these were awful when I saw them in ’04, and I think they’re even worse now. Jesus Tapdancing Christ what the fuck were they thinking?

I’d love to know where Roots had their stuff produced, was it in the US?  And if I had to wager, no one said a fucking thing about Lauren’s uniform in 2008, and I’d wager it was all foreign-made then too.

And beyond that, what the fuck are they supposed to wear? Fucking tracksuits?  Ill fitting jeans or shorts and t-shirts with Nikes like I usually see walking about?  Tapout and Affiction shirts three sizes too small and brah hats?

No, you cannot go into the Olympics looking like a fucking schlub shitpile, this is the fucking Olympics.  You need to look nice, at least for the opening ceremony, and unfortunately, modern American dress and nice are not friends for the most part…full disclosure, I currently own not one pair of jeans, and dress in a fairly preppy manner (as a Certified Yankee Snob and having never attended a day of public school, I maintain that right).  I’m working rather hard to improve my wardrobe.  So yes, I generally like Lauren as a designer, and have some Lauren clothes.

The Olympics are tough in that you have to balance formality and casual and formality and athleticism.  For America, that pretty much narrows it down to two styles, the Ivy/Prep style or semi-formal Western.

There have been years where we’ve done a more western style, and I’ve generally liked those, I think the last was in 2000. A nice Stetson, conservative sport coat, trousers and conservative boot (keep those ostrich and snakeskins home there, pard) or shoe would be a nice option.  However, let’s be blunt about this…Lauren and Western wear…yeah NO.  Leave that shit to people who aren’t Ralph Lauren.  And if Lauren is footing the bill, and he is, it’s full prep ahead motherfuckers!

  1. veeshir says:

    I think Instapundit put it best
    They look like something from an SNL skit about America becoming a gay military dictatorship.

    • doubleplusundead says:

      Nobody’d be saying that without the beret, they’d look excellent with a better hat choice.

  2. Dr Spank says:

    When did we become a nation of beret-wearing surrender monkeys? The only time I’ve seen a beret worn in public in the US is at a……actually I’ve never sen a beret worn in public. You wear a beret in Texas you’d better be a bad-ass, with a gun, and possibly some explosives.

  3. Dr Spank says:

    >>If you haven’t seen a service member in one you haven’t been looking

    I haven’t been looking for dudes in berets so you got me there.

  4. DejahThoris says:

    Since when do berets have bills on them? I thought it was a pageboy cap or newsboy http://www.hatpeople.com/tourshop/catalogue/cat.html (as it is also called). I think the caps are sharp, and I like Ralph Lauren as well. This look is quintessential yacht wear as evidenced by these photos of rich people on yachts. http://www.askandyaboutclothes.com/forum/showthread.php?72196-Blazers!-Blazers!-Blazers!-%28pics%29

    • doubleplusundead says:

      The pics I have posted are the ’08 uniforms, the ’12 berets are at the first link, which are definitely not a flat cap (or newsboy cap, or driving cap, or Ivy cap, or whatever you wanna call ’em).

      • DejahThoris says:

        OOhhhhhhhhhh that link, wher it says “Click for 2012 uniforms.” Yeah, I totally ignored that. However my ancestral frog-canadian senses immediately started tingling, and my old airborne status flared up indignantly at how tourist-y those berets look. Perhaps they should all have their names sewn on the front a la National Lampoon’s European Vacation.

    • doubleplusundead says:

      However the AAAC link is excellent. I really like the striped blazers at that link, that should be more common. Clothing for men is too monochromatic, especially in the realm of suits and blazers. Though I can understand that that may still be 70s hangover, dear God the patterns were obnoxious. Fact: 1/3 of everything in the 70s looked like it got bukkake’d by a horde of avocados.

      • chad98036 says:

        Once your clothing makes you look like a TV test pattern and causes you to induce epileptic seizures i dogs and small children as you walk down the street you have a problem. Those blazers are worse than that.

      • Veeshir says:

        I still miss my step-father’s yellow polyester suit with the white belt and white shoes.

        Going with my mother to pick up my step-father from work at IBM in the mid 70s was high-larious.

        My only regret? I didn’t find out where that one guy found his purple polyester suit.
        I figure it must have been “Pimps M Us”, but that was before the intertubes.
        I’d wear that suit right now.

  5. AndyN says:

    Roots is a Canadian company, so I would imagine that none of the money or jobs from the hideous 2004 uniforms ended up in the US.

  6. Tango9 says:

    The message it sends is: “ohai, we’re stopping by to limp-wrist some javelins on the way to the Hamptons.” What an olympic uniform should say is “We’re here to FUCKING OWN YOU.”

  7. Tango9 says:

    Thurston J. Howell, III called and said he wants the trunk of clothes lost at sea back.

    • doubleplusundead says:

      Better Thurston Howell than ill fitting jeans and tshirts from Wallyworld, or Affliction/Tapout tees and brah hats, or the latest abortion from the rap world. Seriously, what else are they to wear? BDUs? I don’t think the Germans did it in ’36, why would we in 2012?

  8. MikeD says:

    Sorry DPUD, but I’m with the rest of humanity on the beret thing. I got out of the Army before they sucked off the good idea fairy too hard and thought “BERETS 4 EVRWUN!” was a smart thing to do. Back in my day, you got a beret for doing one of three things. Jumping out of a plane for a living (Airborne), jumping out of a plane and killing dudes for a living (Rangers), or jumping out of a plane and training locals to kill dudes for a living (Special Forces). All three were BAMF enough to pull off the look. The dude from Finance? Not so much. A pogue like me? No.

    I AM with you so far as the “he’s giving you the clothes, bitch less” bit. But I doubt you’ll be seeing these “fashions” on the streets of NY or LA next year.

    • doubleplusundead says:

      I’m not keen on the beret either, but people are way off on hating the rest.

      • Veeshir says:

        I’m guessing Hillary Clinton was not involved in that decision, she probably doesn’t like the reminder of berets.
        Bill, of course, likes looking at the top of them.

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