Archive for August, 2012

Caption Contest!

Posted: August 31, 2012 by veeshir in Moron of the Day, PEBKAC, Random Crap

No, not here, at Wyatt’s. I suck at directing caption contests.

This is my entry.

Close upon the flooding, the workers at Middendorf’s Tuna, supplier to StarKist tuna, were all found murdered.

The perpetrators apparently left no clues. D.C. Police are baffled and are currently looking for a boat to retrieve their cruiser.


You know that feeling you get right after y0u hit “post” and think, “Maybe I shouldn’t have done that.”? No reason, just curious is all.

I was starting to worry about losing the funny and just getting all endy out, but it appears it’ll be hilarious right up until after we’re all eaten by alien clowns and killer tomatoes.

So let’s do a Round the Tubes, Teh Funny/Stream Of Consciousness edition.

I’ll start with Slow Joe cuz it’s really not all that fair, but it’s pretty darn funny.

From all the foo-for-raw over Joe talking about chains, he also said,

Look at what they value and look at their budget and what they’re proposing.

Yup, look what the Dems value and look at their budget. No values, no budget.

That’s not mine, I saw that from Iowahawk following a link at Ace’s to a creepy sand sculpture of our God-President.

So when I clicked on Iowahawk I followed a Daily Caller link with this pic.

You have to love that with that caption. That’s how he paid homage to Neil Armstrong on his passing. Narcissus was a slacker.

Which leads us to Iowahawk, the man, the myth, the legend. As always, he’s pitch perfect. He found an earlier version of the speech that was lost when TOTUS shorted out I guess.

Neil’s passing gives all of us all pause to consider deeper questions. What does it mean for the future of space exploration? How proud would Neil have been to have a famous historic president refer to him by first name? And, most importantly, how did his death inspire that historic president to make ever more gigantic leaps for mankind?

And then it gets funny.

Somewhere following those links I saw something about Romney talking about going to Louisiana to tour the flooded areas and then Obama deciding to go a few hours later.

Romney is really trying to get me to like him. I mean, that’s perfect. That’s so perfect I can’t believe he did it. Is Karl Rove’s evil twin working for Romney?

So we have President Present who doesn’t want to interrupt his fundraising to deal with a bunch of flooded rednecks and we have Romney who’s “just trying to make sure people know about how bad it is down here and maybe see about getting them some help.”

So how is Minitrue going to handle this? Glad you asked.

ABCNews actually played it straight, I’m impressed.

In a last-minute change of plans, Mitt Romney will head to visit storm-affected areas in New Orleans today, skipping a previously scheduled joint rally with running mate Paul Ryan in the battleground state of Virginia this afternoon.

Then we have others. Like, oh, say, US News and World Report


Romney starts campaign visiting storm victims

Nice and fair.  Especially considering the previous quote, go back and read it, I’ll wait.

This bit made me laugh.

Residents stood in the water and watched the motorcade pass.

Probably splashing mud on their Sunday-Go-To-Meeting Suits.

Gotta get a quote from a yokel,

“He just told me to, um, there’s assistance out there,” Chiarello said of her conversation with Romney. Asked what she thought of the Republican nominee, she said: “He’s good. He’ll do the best for us, you know. He speaks to our best interests at heart.”

He done sed sumpin but I ain’t got much o’ that there book-learnin’ but he sure is purty.

It’s gets funnier, I like this bit too, a mini-fisking. My comments are italics.

Back in Washington, Democrats seized on the trip to accuse Republicans of supporting cuts in federal disaster funding that the Gulf Coast will now need to recover from Isaac. (and you’re here to help them get the word out)

Earlier this year, Rep. Paul Ryan — Romney’s running mate and chairman of the House Budget Committee — proposed eliminating $10 billion a year in disaster spending and requiring Congress to pay for emergencies by cutting from elsewhere in the budget. (he doesn’t care if you all die) That proposal was blocked by GOP leaders. (see? he’s even to0 radical for the GOP!!!)

That’s pretty darn funny.

Let’s bring it home with one more Obama campaign ad

It is the height of hypocrisy for Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan to make a pretense of showing sympathy for the victims of Hurricane Isaac when their policies would leave those affected by this disaster stranded and on their own,” said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., in a written statement.

With a bwa and a ha and a ha, ha, ha.

So what did we learn today? Not a God Damn Thing, but we got a laugh, and that’s really all we can hope for these days.


Posted: August 31, 2012 by aliceaitch in GOP Win!, Uncategorized

Someone (can’t recall who) asked for this in the comments at the Mothership.

And judging by the way they handled their RNC coverage on Tuesday night, it sounds like they’re not too keen on brown people, either:

A funny thing happened on race-obsessed MSNBC tonight. The liberal network failed to give viewers coverage of the speakers who happen to be member of racial minorities.

Ted Cruz, Artur Davis, Mia Love, Brian Sandoval–none of these people of color were seen or heard on the network.

Pictured: Diversity

You know, I was never a Gingrich backer during the primaries, but when he’s right, he’s right.

Camden to dissolve police department

Posted: August 27, 2012 by doubleplusundead in Uncategorized

And replace them with a non-union force in order to control costs, the city can’t keep up with current contracts.  Expect this sort of thing to happen more often, the current levels of spending are just unsustainable.  All said, Camden is a crime-ridden hellhole already, I’d expect that it’s going to get real messy there during this transition, if I were a decent citizen of that city I’d be looking to GTFO or arm up as best as the Soviet of New Jersey will permit you.  I’d expect if it gets real bad to see some spillover into Philly, which is also a crime-ridden hellhole, but that’s Wyatt’s jurisdiction…I’m actually curious what he thinks of this whole thing, being a detective in Philly.  I also wonder if Camden’ll back down on dissolving the Camden PD.

Godbless and Godspeed.

Posted: August 25, 2012 by alexthechick in Uncategorized

Neil Armstrong slipped the surly bonds of this Earth for the last time.   This seems fitting.






Intertube Memes

Posted: August 24, 2012 by veeshir in Obama's Fault, Op/Sped, PEBKAC

This story has two intertubes memes in one story!

First meme

  • President’s latest slip-up was calling Admiral William McRaven a general
  • Comes days after he and Ohio State University students spelled Ohio ‘O-I-H-O’
Why do we have to read about Obama’s stupidities in British papers? Our papers try to “debunk” the reporting on his error even as they are true.
Second intertubes meme

Barack Obama has always been known for his silken words, soaring rhetoric and ability to use language to his advantage.

Lately, however, the president seems to be losing command of the details….

No, it’s not just “lately”, it’s been a signature of his for as long as I’ve been paying attention to him. 57 states anyone? Marine corpse? C’mon, you can play along.

Some intertubes memes are cool, those two annoy me.

Hmmm, what’s a good intertube meme.

I know, puppy pics. Some puppy pics below the fold (sweater variety)


So the idiot in Missouri said a stupid thing. The GOP ain’t the stupid party for nothing. I’m not defending him for saying that, but I’m wondering something after watching what’s happening.

The Dems are going to be talking about abortion and rape for the next three months. Obama’s going to be talking about abortion and rape as much as he can.

Let’s see how that works out.

You know they’ll overplay the hand, they already have, with Journolist trying to tie Ryan into that and seeming to imply that he, Ryan, is in favor of rape. The faux-obtusity over “forcible rape” is pretty funny too.

The abortion side is possibly worse.

Obama is proud of being in favor of partial-birth abortion.Minitrue likes “late term abortion”, they understand that people would be repulsed if they actually knew it meant letting the baby come part-way out and then sucking its brains out. A celebration of their love of baby-killing just doesn’t seem like a great idea to me, but they need to talk about something besides the world (blowing up) and the economy (blown up).

Which leads to something I saw at the Puppy Blender’s, the GOP will have a convention talking about the economy, the Dems will be talking about rape and abortion. Is that really a winner for Obama? Or is that a wiener?

As for Missouri, sure that moron is losing in the polls now, but can the Dems really keep up the Two Minutes Hate for over 2 months? Will the voters start to think about how they don’t have a job, the deficit is skyrocketing and Obamacare is bearing down on them?

Their choice is a guy who said something stupid or a woman who is all tied up with how great the last 3+ years have been.

I don’t know if I would write off Missouri and I’m not so sure that it will help them in other places, it might even hurt the Dems as they celebrate the death of babies.

And just for me, I’m thinking how hilarious it will be seeing Bill Clinton at center stage as the Dems go on and on about rape.

That’s gonna be funny.

Moby Begins

Posted: August 22, 2012 by Sean M. in FAIL, Fun with Elections, Fun With Media, Lame

It just wouldn’t be an election year without concern trolls, and one Michael Jenning of Van Nuys skips the blog comments sections, deciding instead to take to the letters page of the Los Angeles Times with the following missive:

A funny thing happens to me every time I convince myself to support the Republican Party, with its emphasis on individual freedom and its championing of ambition: Up pops another one of its politicians to display appalling ignorance. The latest of these “leaders” claims that he “misspoke” when he offered his idiotic musings on women’s bodies.

“Misspoke” is a term that originated, appropriately, in the Nixon administration. I think I’ll remind myself of this whenever I’m about to be conned into believing the GOP’s pieties.

Not bad, Michael, but allow me to give you a few pointers…

First of all, the “disgusted swing voter” persona is a decent way to go, but you can’t lay it on quite so thick. If you want the tourists to buy the idea that you were, like, totes for realsies gonna vote GOP but for Todd Akin tripping over his own dick, consider ditching the scare quotes around the word “leaders” and maybe use the capital-L instead. And when you’re using terms like “conned” and “pieties,” you lose the opportunity to take the moral high ground and affect a pose of head-shaking disappointment.

That brings me to my second critique: Why not go whole hog and claim to be a disaffected Republican? Talk about how you miss the GOP of old. How, say, if Eisenhower or (and I’m just spitballin’ here) Mitt Romney’s late father were here today, they would be just as disappointed as you. With more practice, you can go for the gusto and play the “Reagan couldn’t win the nomination today” card. If you’re going that route, though, don’t bother bringing up Nixon. Actual conservatives never really liked him and nobody but aging hippies really gives a shit about him anymore.

And while you’re trolling, don’t be afraid to use phrases like “as a Christian” or “as the father of [insert number between one and four] daughters” in order to amplify your concerns. Remember, you’ve got to have some skin in this game.

Well, Mike, I hope this has been helpful and that you’ll be convincing weak-willed squishes not to turn up at the polls come November. Until then, like someone else (and I think you know who I’m talking about) you can give yourself a Solid B+.

This is so typical that it really needs to be pointed out more.

And if anyone is ready, willing and able to elucidate the obvious, it’s me.

A gun “buyback” program run by the police were giving people $75 per gun. These programs really steam me off. All they accomplish is to take grandpa’s Garand and turn it into razor blades and tooth picks.

From the article,

Equally unlikely, said Sessions, who assisted the foundation with its guns buyback for nine years, is the notion that gang members would be among those turning in guns.

“They really would like to see the gangs turn in the guns,” Sessions said. “And I tell them, ‘Keep wishing that.’ But it’s not going to happen.”

Gang members, first of all, want to hold onto their guns because “a gun means power. And two, they see us, the police, and they say ‘We don’t want to be caught with a gun.’

Yes, you’re not getting gangbanger guns, but there’s an overriding reason they don’t mention. Illegal guns cost more than legal guns. I mean, I’ve never bought or sold an illegal gun, but that’s just elementary.

So they bought a bunch of grandpa’s squirrel and military guns and got absolutely no gangbangers’ guns and we see this.

Saturday’s collection was deemed a success as 244 firearms were collected along with a crossbow.

A “success”? How can you call that a success?

All weapons collected are melted down.

Oh right, you’re not anti-crime, you’re just afraid of guns.

At least there were people on the streets trying to buy them for $80-$150 and the cops said it was fine, so we have that going for us.

Via Say Uncle, who seems like a nice guy even if he does like Glocks.

Post needs  a gun. Hmmm, what haven’t I posted lately?

Two guns I hope never get melted down. My .500 S&W and my Wildey in .475 Wildey magnum.

My will includes who gets my guns. My family would sell them all for $25 so long as they were melted down. I really don’t want to have to think about that, Hell will be bad enough.