I like to call them Darwin cans

Posted: August 2, 2012 by aliceaitch in Anklebiting rugrats, Nanny State, Parent of the Day, The first thing we do, WTF Is Wrong With Oklahoma

A little late posting this, but…

Until two days ago, Blitz USA was the largest manufacturer of gasoline cans in the country.  Blitz employed 117 people, and provided benefits like health insurance to their families, in a town of about 13,600 people in the rural town of Miami, Oklahoma.  (Yeah, yeah, no math, but…given that about 25% of Miami’s population is under 18 and 20% who are 65 and older, that means Blitz employed about 1.5% of the town’s adult population.)

Blitz USA shut down two days ago due to overwhelming lawsuits from people who, despite warnings on the cans and despite the common sense God gave a 5-year-old, used their cans to pour gasoline directly on a fire and got burned. One rocket scientist in 2005 managed to burn himself and kill his two-year-old daughter by putting the nozzle of the gas can directly into a lit wood-burning stove and pouring.  Another Einstein left a full gas can in their backyard and then was surprised when his two-year-old son (who was unsupervised for just a minute, he promises!) carried off the can and poured gasoline on himself and the vapors caught on fire.

I’m seeing a pattern here…is there a redneck trend of setting your Terrible Twos on fire to get rid of them?

The cans were sold at WalMart, so we might assume that the IQs and educations of the  users prevent them from being able to read the warning labels on the gas can instructing users to keep the cans away from flames.

The plaintiffs in these cases are arguing that flame arresters and a more childproof cap would have prevented these accidents.  As of 2007, no standard for flame arresters had been established by the CPSC (yes, the same agency that just went overboard by banning Buckyballs), but there was concern that adding a flame arrester could cause gas to spill out of the can if the can was filled too quickly. On hot pavement near a bunch of gas pumps is exactly where you want a puddle of highly flammable liquid.

UPDATE: That rocket scientist I mentioned above, David Calder…he put the flames on his daughter out, then left her in the trailer while he ran outside.  He was outside long enough for the entire trailer to catch fire.

  1. doubleplusundead says:

    Heard about this…it’s crap, just like the ban on Buckyballs…

  2. veeshir says:

    Those should be the shortest lawsuits in history.
    Judge: So you poured gasoline from a can directly onto a fire?”
    Judge:”Case dismissed. Dumbass”

  3. ck says:

    So, you and Mikey Moore don’t shop at wallyworld. I guess paying 10 to 50% more for identical products makes one smart. I’ll be slumming with my fellow retards (ya know, idiots like Gerard Vanderluen) at the wallyworld.

    • doubleplusundead says:

      Honestly, I pretty much just buy cheap practice ammo at Wallyworld, its on the way to the range anyway, as far as the rest, I’d eat up most of my wallyworld savings, coupons, bonus cards and sales can close that gap readily, and I’m not talking crazed manic coupon people type deal scrounging, just common sense, oh, good sale on whatever, and I can print a manufacturers coupon, or its in the Sunday paper, buy it cheap, stack it deep. There are plenty of grocery stores and other big box retailers in town that sell things fairly cheap, and sometimes cheaper than Wallyworld. Plus Wegmans for food…if you don’t have Wegmans, or never been to one, you just won’t understand…

    • aliceaitch says:

      I rarely shop at Walmart because the customer service is as high-class as the customers. It’s worth it to me to pay a bit more to not waste half an hour trying to find out if the item they said was in stock on their website is hidden in their warehouse somewhere and not on the floor. Trying to decipher their store layout is just a step above Big Lots or a Dollar Store. The prices may be a bit cheaper, but the store layout is designed to make shoppers have the Vegas experience of wandering through the entire hotel trying to find your room from the casino floor.

      Plus there’s something strange about the way GPS functions at the local Walmart, it makes my phone report that I’m at a no-tell motel off of I-70. That freaks my husband out. No thanks.

  4. doubleplusundead says:

    I’d eat up my Wallyworld savings in gas, it’s a drive for me.

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