NSFW. You were warned.
Archive for November, 2012
In my Christmas stocking I want
Posted: November 30, 2012 by aliceaitch in Random Crap, Vagina Squad Fail3
This may or may not be real
Posted: November 29, 2012 by aliceaitch in Mideast Madness, What the fuck did they blow up now?I have no idea how this footage is getting out, if it is real. The translation of the title of the video is “Aleppo Ansari east 29 11 2012 full section of the massacre that killed dozens”.
Don’t watch this while you’re eating, or if you want your life to just be unicorns and fairy princesses.
Round the Tubes Game Over Man, Game Over
Posted: November 29, 2012 by veeshir in Exploding things, FAIL Britannia!, Fun With Media, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP FAIL, Government FAIL, Islam - a religion of tolerance and peace, Jitardis, Liberal FAIL, Mideast Madness, Obama's Fault, PEBKACYou see, if Congress doesn’t make a deal over the Fiscal Cliff (dum, dum, dumm, dummmmmm), it’s Game Over.
That makes me laugh for two reasons.
First, even if Congress makes a “Deal”, all it’s going to do is attempt to kick the can down the road. They’ll just raise the borrowing limit (because this time, THIS TIME!!!!!!!!!, they’re going to fix the US fiscal state), before not cutting shit. Hell, they can ‘t even “cut” the increases, does anybody think they can actually cut spending in the way anybody not of our self-proclaimed Elite would think of it? If so, I have some prime beach land for sale, sure you can’t quite see the ocean from here, but it’s very sandy and sunny.
Second, I’m betting not game over, but I’m an eternal optimist. I figure nobody’s going to predict when the game really is over. Just like when the USSR fell, I’m sure there were panels planned for 6 months later, very scholarly panels, that were going to explain how Soviet communism was superior to American capitalism (spit!) and therefore, we should become an SSR.
One day I’ll be watching the Sunday Panel of Deep Thinkers telling me how now that there’s been a “Deal” we can all expect our Skittle-shitting unicorns when they’ll break in to talk about rioting breaking out in every major city on both coasts and the Oregon, Arizona and Nevada National Guards being called out to keep California rioters from invading. That’ll be funny.
Next in our tour, we see some ironic hilarity from our fine media betters.
Apparently the AP’s styleguide now includes calling him “The Prophet Mohammed“. Engel (the guy linked) asks
Do you get the feeling AP editors are worried about being tried in absentia and sentenced to death?
Oh I’d say “Yes” and more, I’d hope for it. As they say, you can only sentence someone to death once so maybe the AP jackasses will join western civilization in their war with the barbarians.
Sorry, I just like to make myself laugh. I mean, I hope they do get all fatwaed, but I think it would only make them more lick-spittle.
Now for what Uncle likes to call, “Where Great Britain Used To Be”.
Over at Ace’s, Maetenloch helpfully catalogues some of their more egregious examples of not having a 1st Amendment.
Basically there really isn’t any since almost any non-trivial thing you say could possibly be ‘offensive’ to someone. And that’s now illegal.
Hunt master who called black saboteur a f****** w** is fined £3,000 (Here I assume he said ‘fucking wog’ but since no source ever printed the actual statement who knows.)
Christian demoted at work after writing on Facebook that he opposed gay marriage in church
You can also be prosecuted for insulting tweets but only if you’re popular.
The UK Independence Party is set to become the 3rd largest party in the UK but just being a member is considered by authorities enough to make you unfit to be a parent.
Tory Students at Oxford ask for legal protections due to continual persecution
And now we see this
Lord Justice Leveson has condemned decades of “outrageous” behaviour by newspapers as he urged the Government to set up a new media watchdog underpinned by legislation
Yes, just what Britain needs to further her transformation to Airstrip One.
And now for some depressing shit.
Syria is cut off from the Intertubes, land lines and cell phones, they still have satellite service of course. You know, until the Mukhbarat finds out and you die.
Now, everybody reporting this is saying that it could be the gov’t doing it, but nobody knows. It’s obviously the gov’t, for a few reasons. First and foremost, of course, everybody would be screeching about the Jooooooooos!!!!! doing it.
Second, we see this.
Major Syrian offensive along the Damascus airport road.
The fighting, which came after Internet links went down across most of Syria,
Just a coincidence I’m sure.
And this, Syrians bombing Aleppo. (just a style note. When Israel bombs Gaza using American jets or helicopters, that’s in the story, nowhere in this story are the jets, Migs or Mirages most likely, named. Odd that, I’m sure the Prophet Mohamed would approve)
According to Lebanon Now! (my source for all news Syria), they’re also bombing Homs, but nobody’s covering that except for some old stories when the siege began. They might be getting the full Hama treatment, which started the same way, a siege then the artillery killed a few tens of thousands.
And just to add a bit of humor to the situation, we have HRW being their usual idjit selfs and Hezbollah being unintentionally hilarious (I’m not sure if it’s funnier or endier if it’s intentional).
First, Human Rights Watch is focusing like a laser beam on what’s important. No, for once not Jews.
“Children as young as 14 have served in at least three opposition brigades, transporting weapons and supplies and acting as lookouts,” the New York-based watchdog said. “Children as young as 16 have carried arms and taken combat roles against government forces.”
First, 16 isn’t all that young for a military. It was once patriotic for 16 year olds to lie about their age to join the military and fight for their country. Second, the 14 year olds are not fighters, they’re helpers. A tradition that has a long history that only died out in the west over the last 100 years or so. I’m not saying I’m fer it, I’m saying it’s the way the world is and has been.
But mostly what I find so stupid about this is that the Syrians are killing them. Anybody over 14 is old enough to fight so the Syrians will surely kill them if they act all non-combatantly. And kill them horribly, with rusty bayonets and belly wounds if they’re lucky.
And now for the big finish, Hezbollah Getting Off a Good One.
So some of the rebels are blowing up Syrian gov’t types and Hezbollah is all pissed off, that’s their schtick.
Lebanon’s Shiite party Hezbollah condemned a recent set of explosions targeting religious minorities in Syria and Shiite pilgrims in Iraq in recent days.
“The senseless killing and terrible blood shedding of innocent people is the execution of a western devilish will,”
Okay, if I had written that I’m not sure how I could have made it funnier. No, more, I doubt I would have gotten the pitch so perfect.
Early links via the puppy Blender, I looked at Now Lebanon when I saw Syria was off the ‘tubes.
I actually had another Puppy Blender link to a PJ Media story, but I hate their website and I won’t go there anymore.
What with all the pop-ups and annoying things that I have to click. The pop-up on that page (that got around my Firefox settings saying, “No pop-ups”), froze my computer. I had to go to the task manager and end the process of Firefox, then open it without my wifi on so when it tried to recover those pages, I could close the pop-up and the PJ media link before they froze my computer again.
Fuck em. I stopped reading vodkapundit except for drunkblogging debates and such because of that shit.
I understand it’s their site and they pay the bills and make money how they can, but I don’t need the hassle so I just don’t go there.
Just like Hot Air. I can see the same links at Ace’s, Drudge or the Puppy Blender and I don’t get the annoying pop-ups and boring, establishment, conventional wisdom that I get from everybody at Hot Air except Allah.
Now that I’ve pissed off everyone today, I’m off to make lunch.
Here’s some hotassery, it’s been too long.
Nearly half of women who cry rape are liars
Posted: November 29, 2012 by aliceaitch in WTF Is Wrong With DenverThat’s what the Denver Police Department would have you think.
Capt. Don Vagge said in cases where the primary question is if the victim consented, those kits are not tested. According to Vagge, those rape kits aren’t even eligible to be tested and uploaded into the national DNA database.
“If the issue is consent, finding DNA is not going to help,” Vagge said.
Sure, that sounds reasonable. There’s no reason to test a rape kit if you don’t believe the woman was actually raped. So you’ve probably got a few accused rapes a year where the story is so outlandish, the victim is so implausible, that there’s no possible credibility to the story.
Since 2008, DPD has received 1,064 rape kits, but 44 percent of those kits have never been tested….Since 2007, Fort Collins has collected 243 rape kits. (Fort Collins rape kits are processed in the Denver lab -ed.) But the CALL7 Investigators found 72 percent of those rape kits were not tested.
That’s more than a few.
In Denver, if you can make your rape a friendly rape, if you can avoid leaving bruises, if you can make it seem like it’s not rape-rape, your DNA won’t even be tested. Since we’re evil, woman-hating, anti-feminist, rapey conservatives, I think that makes Denver the perfect place for our next-meetup.
(Yeah, it’s old news, but it’s fresher than the last time I blogged before today.)
Buh bye Syria
Posted: November 29, 2012 by aliceaitch in Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Mideast Madness, What the fuck did they blow up now?Syria is off the Internet. Whether this is a result of the Syrian government disconnecting itself, or whether an outside group has disconnected the country in retaliation for the…conflict seems like too passive a word…remains to be seen. Given that Syria has cut off communications to the outside world in the past, I’m inclined to think it’s governmentally driven.
Using children (the rebels) and bombing civilians (the government) wasn’t horror enough to disconnect the Internet, so I’m wondering (except that I’m certain I don’t really want to know) what’s going on in Syria to precipitate this.
Round the Tubes, it’s getting funnier out there
Posted: November 27, 2012 by veeshir in Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Liberal FAILWell, funnier so long as you ignore the middle east that is.
I was reading the puppy blender and saw a couple stories that are kind of messed up, but sorta funny.
First up, we see something that’s sorta profound in its simplicity.
Andrew Klavan notices something
It was downright bizarre to spend time with, say, Ann Coulter — who is smart, sweet, generous and kind — and then, only days later, hear her off-handedly derided by lefties as bigoted, evil and cruel. And because my lefty friends and relatives are lovely people, I wondered greatly at this disparity between their firmly held convictions and the truth.
And then goes on to this
In an empire of lies, only a crazy man would speak the truth.
Yup. Just ask any anti-globalwarmmonger.
And relatedly, we see another bit of hilarity where the truth gets in the way but lies are trumpeted as a Higher Truth!
First we see a story with a bunch of links to the puffhos, about how widespread college rape is but how it’s covered-up.
Anybody who’s paying attention knows this. Added in with the general, “We don’t need a bad rep” feeling, often it’s “good” students and profs so the colleges and universities don’t want to publicize it. I had a friend that happened to in a DC college. They made it plain that she should shut her mouth and she was probably asking for it anyway.
So we see the truth covered and here we see lies trumpeted. If the wrong people are accused of rape, (jocks and such mostly), well, the truth of the matter just gets in the way (see, Duke lacrosse team).
How to end this depressing deal?
We all know about stuff being both funny and endy, but what to call stuff that’s beyond funny but still endy?
My second favorite larious, endlarious.
My buddy sent me an email (you don’t know him, he’s not the one who searches for sloppy vaginas), with this link.
I don’t think this is old, apparently the Onion named Kim Jong Kg the Sexiest Man Alive for 2012 and the Chinese commie’s website/mouthpiece is so excited they have a slideshow with some of Mr Kim’s sexiest poses.
So is that endlarious? You have to admit, it’s very dam high-larious that they would fall for it.
And it’s very dam endy that they would fall for it. How deeply brainwashed do you have to be to believe that?
Endlarious!
Update:
The Onion noticed the commies and updated their story with this
UPDATE: For more coverage on The Onion’s Sexiest Man Alive 2012, Kim Jong-Un, please visit our friends at the People’s Daily in China, a proud Communist subsidiary of The Onion, Inc. Exemplary reportage, comrades
See? Endlarious!
I did, also, I start a new, much better job soon, and was in need of new dress shoes, and what showed up in my email?
A 30% off promo from Shoebuy! So I picked up 3 pairs of Bass Weejuns (tan, burgundy and black, now I’m ready for anything) and a pair of Johnston and Murphy oxfords at one hell of a price.
Tricia Romano’s diversity problem
Posted: November 20, 2012 by Sean M. in Fun With Media, Lame, Random CrapSo I was watching last night’s Red Eye, and they mentioned that the person up there in the title of this post had written an article in The Daily Beast bellyaching about the lack of diversity among the guys selected as People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive.
Now, normally, I wouldn’t give a shit about this, but I found the following quote interesting:
Where are the Blair Underwoods, the Taye Diggses, the Morris Chestnuts? The Terrence Howards, the Jesse Williamses, the Idris Elbas?
While I’m sure that all of these men are plenty sexy, I’m deeply troubled by the fact that there is not a single, solitary Hispanic or Asian man included in Ms. Romano’s list. No Native Americans, either.
And while we’re nitpicking someone else’s idea of who’s attractive, I might as well note that none of the handsome black men Romano listed is disabled. I haven’t bothered to check on their sexual orientations, but I suspect most of them are straight, too.
In short, Tricia Romano is the worst kind of bigot, and she should be ashamed of herself.
Unrelatedly
Posted: November 19, 2012 by veeshir in Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Islam - a religion of tolerance and peace, Mideast Madness, Random CrapI saw this a couple places today, it’s about people peaked a few thousand years ago and are more stupider nowadays.
His argument is based on the fact that for more than 99 per cent of human evolutionary history, we have lived as hunter-gatherer communities surviving on our wits, leading to big-brained humans. Since the invention of agriculture and cities, however, natural selection on our intellect has effective stopped and mutations have accumulated in the critical “intelligence” genes.
… an average citizen from Athens of 1000BC were to appear suddenly among us, he or she would be among the brightest and most intellectually alive of our colleagues and companions, with a good memory, a broad range of ideas and a clear-sighted view of important issues,” Professor Crabtree says…
“Furthermore, I would guess that he or she would be among the most emotionally stable of our friends and colleagues.
Ummmmm, no.
Take it point by point, sure we were hunter gatherers and blah, blah, blah. But, since people don’t change, I’d bet that it’s much like now. A very few are really proficient while the rest just got along being told what to do.
As for the “average citizen of Athens”, do you mean the slaves? The ones with no education who are treated a little better than mules because they can do more damage. Or do you mean Harry Joe Athenian or do you mean the average, money/power class citizen? I’d bet the educated class had much better memories, but not much better than an American from 1840.
More emotionally stable? Really? Seriously, you need to read some history, I mean, I understand it’s time to freak out when Persia is invading, but they set the standard for “freak out”.
We’re no dumber. Read some history dude, we’re exactly the same as we have always been.
Unrelatedly, it really sucks to live anywhere on the eastern coast of the Med. Lebanon, Syria, Israel, Egypt and I wouldn’t want to be Jordan either with the excrement about to hit the air circulation device in a big way.
Truce efforts are underway as people are killed in Gaza.
Israel has the same demands they always have, stop trying, and succeeding, to kill us and we’ll stop killing you.
The Arabs demands are also the same they always have, “Okay, you stop killing us and we’ll talk about stopping killing you. You know, next week or so. Maybe. But we’ll talk all serious, let’s not start the cycle of violence while stopping the peace process.”
Turkey is being all helpful and stuff.
Turkish Prime Minister Tayyip Erdogan told the Eurasian Islamic Council conference in Istanbul that the Jewish state is systematically mass-killing Muslims.
Hey, those pastries aren’t going to make themselves you know.
Egypt, that fine, new, open society is obviously getting past all their Jew-hatred. This is actually kinda funny, jihadis can always be counted on for accidental hilarity.
advisers to Egypt’s President Mohamed Morsi, a former leader of the Muslim Brotherhood who has been an outspoken supporter of Hamas, invited foreign correspondents in Cairo to a background briefing at which a senior Egyptian official sought to blame Israel for the conflict while at the same time maintaining Egypt’s role as an intermediary pressing both sides for peace
Yup, we all know the Muslim Brotherhood is the very model of a disinterested mediator. Why, they’re moderates. Which means they don’t necessarily want to kill all the Jews, if a few escape…emigrate to better climes, well, they’re okay with that.
Their missiles are reaching Tel Aviv now. That’s serious.
Okay, so the analogy used to be, what if Mexico started lobbing missiles into some random, stretch of American desert with a few small towns in Texas, New Mexico, Arizona or California?
Now it’s, what would America do if Mexico started lobbing missiles at Los Angeles?
Mexico would be short a few provinces and a shitload of soldiers, that’s what.
I long ago stopped giving shit one for what the Palestinians think. If they want peace they can have it tomorrow, they want dead Jews, pure and simple. I often wonder why the hell Israel is so restrained. I mean seriously, their missiles are reaching Tel Aviv now. That means, a ‘lucky’ hit could kill thousands.
I just wonder what the deal is. Is Iran ready for something? Does Syria just need some heat taken off as they go about the business of killing the last of the “dissidents”? Will this also siphon off a bunch of imported jihadis who get to stop killing Syrians and go about their true vocation, killing Jews?
So is it Big Picture stuff or Little Picture stuff? One thing I’d bet a lot on, it’s not just random. Palestinian terrorist organizations are run by Iran, they’re not starting a war on their own unless they want to die. Makes me wonder what Hezbollah is up to, that’ll tell us a lot.
Hey, the Mayans have more than a month left to prove they’re not blowhard idiots. Incompetent, blowhard, idiots.
Of all of the moments I have had as a parent, few have been more satisfying than watching my daughter fall whilst riding her bicycle. While that may sound harsh, I do not revel in seeing her in pain or disappointed; no, my happiness came when, after a moment of sniffling and checking to make sure that the scrape on her leg or elbow was not serious, she picked herself and her bicycle up, climbed back on, and proceeded to ride some more, never giving up, and proceeding down the path. I mention this because for all of my worries about her future, I am a bit more sanguine than I should be, since if she can pick herself up after a mishap at a mere 7 years old, she certainly has the innerworkings to survive (and thrive) in any environment she may face as she grows older.
The same should apply to us in the wake of the recent election. Yes, we lost and they won. That, sadly, is beyond dispute. But what next? How and what do we do to start the clock over? How do we reset and begin anew? What do we do with the first second of the new era, in the hopes of doing what needs to be done to push back statism? Will you give up? Will you just say, “fuck it”? Or, will you be like a 7 year old on her bike and get back up and continue the fight, albeit under a new set of rules?
Honestly, I have no fucking clue what to do next. I have no fucking clue how to handle the first second of the first minute of the new era we are in. But I can guaranfuckingtee you this, I’ll get back on that bicycle and plow ahead on my own if I fucking have to, learning along the way what needs to be done next and how to apply it. I will do this steeled by words I came across this week while looking for something else, though I loved them. These were the words of Pope John XXIII as Vatican II rolled along in an effort to inspire the bishops and priests in attendance:
Consult not your fears
but your hopes and your dreams.
Think not about your frustrations,
but about your unfulfilled potential.
Concern yourself not
with what you tried and failed in,
but with what it is still possible
for you to do
Yes, what is still possible. How can I look the child who pulls herself up off the ground in the eye and quit? How can I let defeatism and frustration get in the way? How can I stifle her hopes and dreams by not fighting for them? And how can you do the same for those you care for? How can you look in the mirror and admit defeat and refuse to look to what is still possible, albeit in trying circumstances? That is how I have picked myself up off the floor after the defeat a few weeks ago. And I hope you do the same.
To everyone out there, I have no idea where this road will take all of us, but I promise you this: I will not leave you stranded if you pick yourself up, get back on that bicycle, and restart your clocks with me. I also promise this to be one hell of a ride.
And as for the lefties spiking the football, let me add something for you:
doubleplusundead 