NSFW. You were warned.
Archive for November, 2012
I have no idea how this footage is getting out, if it is real. The translation of the title of the video is “Aleppo Ansari east 29 11 2012 full section of the massacre that killed dozens”.
Don’t watch this while you’re eating, or if you want your life to just be unicorns and fairy princesses.
You see, if Congress doesn’t make a deal over the Fiscal Cliff (dum, dum, dumm, dummmmmm), it’s Game Over.
That makes me laugh for two reasons.
First, even if Congress makes a “Deal”, all it’s going to do is attempt to kick the can down the road. They’ll just raise the borrowing limit (because this time, THIS TIME!!!!!!!!!, they’re going to fix the US fiscal state), before not cutting shit. Hell, they can ‘t even “cut” the increases, does anybody think they can actually cut spending in the way anybody not of our self-proclaimed Elite would think of it? If so, I have some prime beach land for sale, sure you can’t quite see the ocean from here, but it’s very sandy and sunny.
Second, I’m betting not game over, but I’m an eternal optimist. I figure nobody’s going to predict when the game really is over. Just like when the USSR fell, I’m sure there were panels planned for 6 months later, very scholarly panels, that were going to explain how Soviet communism was superior to American capitalism (spit!) and therefore, we should become an SSR.
One day I’ll be watching the Sunday Panel of Deep Thinkers telling me how now that there’s been a “Deal” we can all expect our Skittle-shitting unicorns when they’ll break in to talk about rioting breaking out in every major city on both coasts and the Oregon, Arizona and Nevada National Guards being called out to keep California rioters from invading. That’ll be funny.
Next in our tour, we see some ironic hilarity from our fine media betters.
Apparently the AP’s styleguide now includes calling him “The Prophet Mohammed“. Engel (the guy linked) asks
Do you get the feeling AP editors are worried about being tried in absentia and sentenced to death?
Oh I’d say “Yes” and more, I’d hope for it. As they say, you can only sentence someone to death once so maybe the AP jackasses will join western civilization in their war with the barbarians.
Sorry, I just like to make myself laugh. I mean, I hope they do get all fatwaed, but I think it would only make them more lick-spittle.
Now for what Uncle likes to call, “Where Great Britain Used To Be”.
Over at Ace’s, Maetenloch helpfully catalogues some of their more egregious examples of not having a 1st Amendment.
Basically there really isn’t any since almost any non-trivial thing you say could possibly be ‘offensive’ to someone. And that’s now illegal.
Hunt master who called black saboteur a f****** w** is fined £3,000 (Here I assume he said ‘fucking wog’ but since no source ever printed the actual statement who knows.)
You can also be prosecuted for insulting tweets but only if you’re popular.
The UK Independence Party is set to become the 3rd largest party in the UK but just being a member is considered by authorities enough to make you unfit to be a parent.
And now we see this
Lord Justice Leveson has condemned decades of “outrageous” behaviour by newspapers as he urged the Government to set up a new media watchdog underpinned by legislation
Yes, just what Britain needs to further her transformation to Airstrip One.
And now for some depressing shit.
Syria is cut off from the Intertubes, land lines and cell phones, they still have satellite service of course. You know, until the Mukhbarat finds out and you die.
Now, everybody reporting this is saying that it could be the gov’t doing it, but nobody knows. It’s obviously the gov’t, for a few reasons. First and foremost, of course, everybody would be screeching about the Jooooooooos!!!!! doing it.
Second, we see this.
Major Syrian offensive along the Damascus airport road.
The fighting, which came after Internet links went down across most of Syria,
Just a coincidence I’m sure.
“Children as young as 14 have served in at least three opposition brigades, transporting weapons and supplies and acting as lookouts,” the New York-based watchdog said. “Children as young as 16 have carried arms and taken combat roles against government forces.”
First, 16 isn’t all that young for a military. It was once patriotic for 16 year olds to lie about their age to join the military and fight for their country. Second, the 14 year olds are not fighters, they’re helpers. A tradition that has a long history that only died out in the west over the last 100 years or so. I’m not saying I’m fer it, I’m saying it’s the way the world is and has been.
Lebanon’s Shiite party Hezbollah condemned a recent set of explosions targeting religious minorities in Syria and Shiite pilgrims in Iraq in recent days.
“The senseless killing and terrible blood shedding of innocent people is the execution of a western devilish will,”
Okay, if I had written that I’m not sure how I could have made it funnier. No, more, I doubt I would have gotten the pitch so perfect.
Capt. Don Vagge said in cases where the primary question is if the victim consented, those kits are not tested. According to Vagge, those rape kits aren’t even eligible to be tested and uploaded into the national DNA database.
“If the issue is consent, finding DNA is not going to help,” Vagge said.
Sure, that sounds reasonable. There’s no reason to test a rape kit if you don’t believe the woman was actually raped. So you’ve probably got a few accused rapes a year where the story is so outlandish, the victim is so implausible, that there’s no possible credibility to the story.
Since 2008, DPD has received 1,064 rape kits, but 44 percent of those kits have never been tested….Since 2007, Fort Collins has collected 243 rape kits. (Fort Collins rape kits are processed in the Denver lab -ed.) But the CALL7 Investigators found 72 percent of those rape kits were not tested.
That’s more than a few.
In Denver, if you can make your rape a friendly rape, if you can avoid leaving bruises, if you can make it seem like it’s not rape-rape, your DNA won’t even be tested. Since we’re evil, woman-hating, anti-feminist, rapey conservatives, I think that makes Denver the perfect place for our next-meetup.
(Yeah, it’s old news, but it’s fresher than the last time I blogged before today.)
Syria is off the Internet. Whether this is a result of the Syrian government disconnecting itself, or whether an outside group has disconnected the country in retaliation for the…conflict seems like too passive a word…remains to be seen. Given that Syria has cut off communications to the outside world in the past, I’m inclined to think it’s governmentally driven.
Using children (the rebels) and bombing civilians (the government) wasn’t horror enough to disconnect the Internet, so I’m wondering (except that I’m certain I don’t really want to know) what’s going on in Syria to precipitate this.
Well, funnier so long as you ignore the middle east that is.
I was reading the puppy blender and saw a couple stories that are kind of messed up, but sorta funny.
First up, we see something that’s sorta profound in its simplicity.
Andrew Klavan notices something
It was downright bizarre to spend time with, say, Ann Coulter — who is smart, sweet, generous and kind — and then, only days later, hear her off-handedly derided by lefties as bigoted, evil and cruel. And because my lefty friends and relatives are lovely people, I wondered greatly at this disparity between their firmly held convictions and the truth.
And then goes on to this
In an empire of lies, only a crazy man would speak the truth.
Yup. Just ask any anti-globalwarmmonger.
And relatedly, we see another bit of hilarity where the truth gets in the way but lies are trumpeted as a Higher Truth!
First we see a story with a bunch of links to the puffhos, about how widespread college rape is but how it’s covered-up.
Anybody who’s paying attention knows this. Added in with the general, “We don’t need a bad rep” feeling, often it’s “good” students and profs so the colleges and universities don’t want to publicize it. I had a friend that happened to in a DC college. They made it plain that she should shut her mouth and she was probably asking for it anyway.
So we see the truth covered and here we see lies trumpeted. If the wrong people are accused of rape, (jocks and such mostly), well, the truth of the matter just gets in the way (see, Duke lacrosse team).
How to end this depressing deal?
We all know about stuff being both funny and endy, but what to call stuff that’s beyond funny but still endy?
My second favorite larious, endlarious.
My buddy sent me an email (you don’t know him, he’s not the one who searches for sloppy vaginas), with this link.
I don’t think this is old, apparently the Onion named Kim Jong Kg the Sexiest Man Alive for 2012 and the Chinese commie’s website/mouthpiece is so excited they have a slideshow with some of Mr Kim’s sexiest poses.
So is that endlarious? You have to admit, it’s very dam high-larious that they would fall for it.
And it’s very dam endy that they would fall for it. How deeply brainwashed do you have to be to believe that?
The Onion noticed the commies and updated their story with this
UPDATE: For more coverage on The Onion’s Sexiest Man Alive 2012, Kim Jong-Un, please visit our friends at the People’s Daily in China, a proud Communist subsidiary of The Onion, Inc. Exemplary reportage, comrades
I did, also, I start a new, much better job soon, and was in need of new dress shoes, and what showed up in my email?
A 30% off promo from Shoebuy! So I picked up 3 pairs of Bass Weejuns (tan, burgundy and black, now I’m ready for anything) and a pair of Johnston and Murphy oxfords at one hell of a price.