Posted: February 15, 2013 by veeshir in Uncategorized


Apparently, SMOD missed us, and indeed, had missed us before I hit post.

Now, I’m not going to delete the post or expect an apology or anything, but…

I would like to say that things were said, threats were made, some of us freaked out but I don’t think it would be profitable to worry about who called who an asshole and we should just put this unfortunate incident behind us.

It’s just  the war and that bastard Obama and…

I think it would be best if we let the past be the past, let he who has never said he was going to kill you all cast the first stone.

Back to the post.


So Valentine’s Day is over at last and we’re to a happy day, SMOD Day.

Now, the ‘scientists’ have said it will miss us, but it’s coming closer than the Moon, so I’m not so sure.

Personally, I blame Global Warmmongering for the misinformation. As we all know, if you set out to prove WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!, you need to blame global worming.

We saw CNN float the idea that global worming caused SMOD,  but even global warmmongers laughed at that, hell, I bet even Shep Smith thought that was ridiculous! (at least, after the producer in his ear told him to)

So now we’re supposed to listen to some scientist at NASA? These people work for James Hansen recall, so if it’s not global worming related, it can’t possibly KILL US ALL!!!!!

So I decided to look into it.

The first step in figuring out any dynamic situation is to draw a force diagram, but I skipped that and just drew this. I think it’s to scale.


So we see the velocity vector of SMOD and acceleration vectors due to gravity of the Earth and the Moon. The Moon’s is, as you can see, 1/6 of Earth’s.

So as it comes between the Earth and the Moon, the Moon will effectively be directly behind it (the Moon is moving), so the Moon’s gravity will act as a brake.

It will look like this

Smod’s vector (no acceleration)                                   Moon’s gravity (all acceleration)

<—–                                                                                     ===>

So SMOD will slow down, this will give the Earth’s gravity a longer time to act on SMOD. Further, the Moon’s gravity will keep on slowing SMOD down for the long hours as it travels along its path to ‘miss’ the Earth. While there’s probably some inverse square stuff going on so it decreases rapidly, a small force acting for a long time can work wonders, just look at the Grand Mesa Canyon.

So what will happen is that as SMOD enters Earth’s gravity well its path will curve down and start the same Roadrunner Slingshot Maneuver from Armageddon (The Road Runner did it more realistically) except with no acceleration to allow it break free from the gravity well.

I plugged the numbers into my Fisher-Price Orbital Dynamics Calculator (SMOD goes Booooom!) and this is what popped up.


As you can see, it will circle the Earth part of one orbit and then splash down. Since it will be coming in at such a low angle, it will be a grazing shot, so it hits and bounces a few times.

As nearly as I can tell the first hit will be western Europe, then a bounce over the Atlantic and down along the eastern seaboard, the next bounce will be much shorter but I figure it’ll graze the Rockies somewhere in northern Colorado or maybe Wyoming and sort of skip to California just northwest of San Francisco, then  finally down in the Pacific Ocean directly south of the Korean peninsula, it’ll be coming in almost horizontally so the tidal wave will be huge and could go west to Tibet.

Since that appears to be fact, I have some things I’d like to say.

First, to Doubleplusundead. Look at you, you think you’re so fucking cool. “Ooh, I have a blog, it’s named after me.” B Fucking D

Who gives a shit? And what the fuck is a “doubleplusundead” anyway? “I’m Sinistar, that name is too cool a name for me so I need to change it to some trendy, hipster, zombie word play thing”

To Lemur King. I meant Every. Single. Fucking. Word. You think you’re so cool with your optics and your family and your wife and getting laid and shit. Well blow me. I don’t give a shit.

I’ll tell you what, you make your best lenses, you figure out the correct focal point and you make a telescope so powerful you can count the sands on the moons of Pluto, then you train that telescope on my ass and you’ll see what I think of you. Suck farts. Dick.

As for ATC, AliceH and the rest of the ‘women’ around here, I’m not even going to waste my breath on you.

As for the “readers”, you suck.

None of you assholes read the damn posts, click the links or comment. Jeebus, if we didn’t include tits nobody would even notice a new fucking post.

I’ve written long and thoughtful posts on nuclear weapons, world war, the war on terror, the horrible doings of the Middle East, the erosion of our freedoms and what the fuck are my most read posts? My post on the hottest Maid Marion and the newest big hit is the one with titties and beer in the headline. Fuck.

I had to go look at those posts, man those are fucking hot.

Where was I? Oh yeah, you guys suck.

I mean really, you refuse to read or click or anything but look at tits. Hell, none of you can even be bothered to click the fucking ‘like’ button. Son of a bitch.

Well, you won’t have me to ignore anymore. It’s all over and I have one more thing to say.

None of you assholes better come within a half mile of me (a mile and a half if I get that .50BMG).

Goodbye Losers!

My last hottasery, I mentioned tits after all.

upton 221

A question, is that a better “Do dirty things to me, I dare you” look than Mila’s?

mila allure

These are the questions that keep me up at night.

  1. 1) I don’t click on “like” at my own place. Why would I do it here?

    2) I actually MET DPUD a few years ago. He IS cooler than you, but is so cool that he simply doesn’t see the need to say so.

    3) DECAF, man! DECAF!

  2. chad says:

    Oh, what are you bitching about? I have close to 300 posts here with I think 4 comments, 3 of them are my own. Quit being a whiny baby and make me a sammich.


    • veeshir says:

      So you just got done looking at Mila and Kate Upton looking all, “Whatayagot?” and you want me to make you a sandwich?

      Sort of makes my post look a little better, doesn’t it?

      • chad98036 says:

        They do make your post look better (have I mentioned lately that Mial Kunis follows me on Google Plus (I’m not going to mention the other 2,000,000 fanboys she follows because this is my world and they are irrelevant in it)).

        Now on to the other topic it’s not that I want you to make I was just pointing that the tone of your post indicated a certain sandwich making mentality had taken hold. 🙂

        • veeshir says:

          Geez, now I look and you’re right.
          I whine about nobody commenting and all of a sudden it’s a comment free for all and DPUD even put up a post!

          What do you want on your sand…sammich?

  3. SOYLENT GREEN says:

    Kate has the Lolita thing happening there so…Thumbs, and assorted appendages, UP.

  4. Lemur King says:

    The way I see it, you need a nap. SMOD is the biggest thing to ever happen in your life so you freak out. Bravo.

    If you are compensating for some deficiency or shortcoming you see in yourself you might set your sights a little higher than the smallest not-a-planet in the fucking solar system. Pluto is covered in methane ice which is going to make it sort of hard to see grains of sand even if your best telescope could resolve them (and they cannot). While you take your remedial physics courses and learn about the diffraction limit you could also work on your insults as they border on infantile rantings.

    Best you can do? Probably. Go ahead, cover it up with T&A, it can only help.

    You are still boycotted, biatch.

    • veeshir says:

      You need to go get one of your lenses to help you read, I said the sand on the moons. They’re covered in it.

      even if your best telescope could resolve them (and they cannot)

      Geez, you don’t get hyperbole do you?

      I actually love your boycott. Reminds me of the neighbor kid who used to do everything I did because he thought I was cool.

      Sometimes I feel bad about batting you around,even when I suck you can’t land a punch.

      • Lemur King says:

        Sand on the moons – also methane. There’s some symmetry there. You tell me to suck farts and then fixate on methane.

        Hyperbole is about your only refuge since science certainly isn’t your strong suit.

        Touching story about your childhood memories and how they help you cope in the here and now. Mostly you remind me of one of those mostly-fluff toy dogs that thinks it is way bigger than it really is. The downside to them is that they piss on themselves and smell bad. I suppose I also feel bad for you but I will get over it.

        • veeshir says:

          So the man who so smugly said this, Sand on the moons – also methane also said this even if your best telescope could resolve them (and they cannot)

          So by your own admission, you don’t know what the hell is going on there.
          For all you know, CO2 on the planet solidifies and crystalizes, much like the cilia or silica or Selena or whatever does that in Earth sand.

          Maybe there are hydrogen oceans with CO2 sands and probably little water ice mountains with helium snow so the people who live there ski in the morning (about 487 of our days long) and then have pina colodas beachside in the afternoon (also 487 days long, happy hour is a bear there).
          It gets cold at night I bet. .

  5. […] all the apocalypse scenarios have been teases I hate to get my hopes […]

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