Archive for March, 2013


Posted: March 31, 2013 by doubleplusundead in Random Crap

They suck, they tried to be fruit and didn’t make the fucking cut, especially you onion, you fucking fail so hard with your eye-burning, wretched tasting and smelling self.  People think it was the CIA that released AIDS onto the public, but I know your fucking secret, onion.  I’m on to you.  Now, I know what you’re about to say, and remember, tomatoes are technically a fruit, corn is technically a grain, and potato is kinda a big derpy grain too (potato roll, motherfuckers!).  Lettuce, cucumber, bean sprouts, peppers, cabbage and carrots are the only ones worth granting some clemency to, lettuce to bring something to sammiches, cabbage and carrot for slaw and assorted asian take out goodness (but not that nasty sweet shit slaw most people make, there’s a place in town that makes their own that fucking rules) and carrot cake, peppers because,

Cucumbers because pickles rule, bean sprouts because you need that shit to cool you down when you order full heat pad thai.

Yaaay Easter!

Posted: March 31, 2013 by doubleplusundead in Random Crap

There’s something kind of funny about going to your relatives’ home to eat ham in celebration of the death and resurrection of a Jewish guy.  Anyway, hope all three of our readers have a nice holiday weekend.



The latter, I think.

Ode to Mom Jeans

Posted: March 28, 2013 by socklessjoe in Brevity etc., Hotassery, Random Crap

They’re not all bad…


Via The Superficial


Awesome: Reason’s answer to Jim Carrey

Posted: March 28, 2013 by doubleplusundead in This Is My BOOMSTICK!

Fuckin win here,

Good news, hipsters: Your T-shirt is 32 percent more ironic!

Nancy said that they’d have to pass the bill to find out what’s in it, and today we find out that includes higher premiums for a lot of people:

A new study finds that insurance companies will have to pay out an average of 32 percent more for medical claims on individual health policies under President Barack Obama’s health care overhaul.

What does that mean for you?

It could increase premiums for at least some Americans.

If you are uninsured, or you buy your policy directly from an insurance company, you should pay attention.

Wait a minute, how is this possible? I thought Obamacare was all about “bending the cost curve down.” This kind of sounds like the opposite of that to me. What the hell could possibly make premiums go up under this wonderful, totes for realsies awesome law?

The study says claims costs will go up largely because sicker people will join the insurance pool. That’s because the law forbids insurers from turning down those with pre-existing medical problems, effective Jan. 1. Everyone gets sick sooner or later, but sicker people also use more health care services.

“Claims cost is the most important driver of health care premiums,” said Kristi Bohn, an actuary who worked on the study. Spending on sicker people and other high-cost groups will overwhelm an influx of younger, healthier people into the program, said the report.

Oh, riiiiiight. It’s that pesky supply and demand stuff that all the cool kids were apparently snoozing through in high school economics class.

While some states will see medical claims costs per person decline, the report concluded that the overwhelming majority will see double-digit increases in their individual health insurance markets, where people purchase coverage directly from insurers.

The differences are big. By 2017, the estimated increase would be 62 percent for California, about 80 percent for Ohio, more than 20 percent for Florida and 67 percent for Maryland. Much of the reason for the higher claims costs is that sicker people are expected to join the pool, the report said.

It should be pointed out that this study was put out by the Society of Actuaries. These are the dull, gray people who look at Real Melvin stuff like risk tables to determine that all of the interesting things that you do like smoking, skydiving, or having diabetes tends to have a bunch of bummer consequences in the real world, such as prolonged hospital stays, death, and–as a result of those things–higher insurance premiums.

In other words, maybe they should have consulted these people instead of the Skittle-shitting unicorns when crafting legislation that would have some serious impacts on millions of people.

Speaking of unicorns:

The Obama administration challenged the design of the study, saying it focused only on one piece of the puzzle and ignored cost relief strategies in the law, such as tax credits to help people afford premiums and special payments to insurers who attract an outsize share of the sick.

Because that money just magically comes out of nowhere. Problem solved.


I’ve actually been too busy to birl the tubes, I was veeshired. I also changed the title, I always get that wrong.

Let’s start with some “Smirt Daplomacy” stuff.

Lebanese acting kinda scares as they laugh at Obama arming jihadis in Syria.

Great quote, you know they’re just shaking their heads and laughing/cringing.

The United States backed “the coalition’s vision for a tolerant, inclusive Syria that respects the rights of all Syrians.

After noting that the guy people trusted said, “I’m outta here”.

In Egypt, some more of that brillyents,

Islamic hard-liners stormed a mosque in suburban Cairo, turning it into torture chamber for Christians who had been demonstrating against the ruling Muslim Brotherhood

Now we see why Christians are now the most oppressed religion, Muslims have killed or ejected all the Jews, now they’re working on Christians.

So as Syria is a nightmare, Egypt is becoming a nightmare and the Palestinians continue their rocket and mortar attacks on Israel, the AP knows who’s to blame. Do you really need me to tell you?

This surprises me.

Recent photographs show workers in Saudi Arabia demolishing some of the oldest sections of the Grand Mosque in Mecca, London’s Independent reports.

Not even Press TV (official Iranian mouthpiece, like MSNBC but they show the other side sometimes) is covering it.

I’m not surprised the grievance mongers who bash the Israelis for planting olives on the 13th holiest site in Islam are quiet, but since it appears Syria is a heat-up of the war between Iran (Hezbollah, Assad) and Saudi Arabia (al Quaeda, various, other terrorists), I’d expect Iran to make some noises. Huh.

I did notice this when I clicked.

An Egyptian minister says direct flights in the form of charter flights will resume between Iran and Egypt within the coming weeks.

More jihadis for Egypt! Yay. Dudes probably kept blowing up when they had to make a connection. I know it usually pisses me off.

I didn’t have enough time for more overseas, I do have a bunch of hilarity in this one so just a couple, domestic, WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! or at least GO TO THE GULAG!!!!

This one’s confusing. Huckabee warning the GOP about gay marriage.This one’s about Dem senators going gaga for gay marriage.

It seems awfully early in the election cycle to get people riled up on gay marriage, for both sides. I know the Supreme Court is taking it up, it’s going to be interesting.

From the I Used To Live There files, VA has a voter ID law.  Racist! I mean, just cuz you need an ID for everything else it’s racist to require it for voting!

Via the Puppy Blender, Moe Lane notices Obama’s tool responding to a tweet from a fictitious congress-critter.

Kinda puts that threatening tweet at the Norks in perspective.

Cruz birthers are going to be a hoot. I mean, the mental contortions of making fun of Obama birthers while being a Cruz birther will be infuriatingly funny, which is not as good as funny but better than infuriating.

Via Jay we see unions acting like their fine, Wisconsin brothers. So some cops are letting good behavior prisoners out to do work, ala the guy from Shawshank, but he just has them do stuff around the town like painting the police station and shoveling walks. So the unions are all, “Hey! That’s union work!”, I guess their wives don’t make apple pies stuffed with hundred dollar bills.

But, as jay notes, there’s one problem.

The head of Arlington’s Housing Authority says, because of budget cuts, his agency would not have been able to hire the job out anyway.

Mudderpocking sonsomabatching iceholes.

Via the Jawas, Help a Brother Out.  Dude’s selling his autographed picture of Jim Carrey to buy a gun. He’s up to $444 now, that’s pretty darn close to a Glock to scare good ole’ Jim. I’d love to see him get enough to buy the gun Mr Gabby Giffords was gonna buy. That would be funny.

Via Harvey we see this Ramirez comic.


Rush Limbaugh needs to get a fund going for buses to Mexico so the DHS can dump them and not pay for transportation back to Mexico. Airfare to the Europeans might be too expensive, but if we started a fund….

A little global warmmongering humor. Global worming is hitting Europe so hard,

Ornithologists have reported that migratory birds coming from the south have turned back.

I picture Daffy Duck saying, “Fuck that.”

The swallows will be back in Capistrano next year. And you know it’s going to be caused by Global Worming!

Russian scientists are predicting an ice age based on the Sun not doing what it’s supposed to be doing. I don’t know if I believe it, we just don’t have a long enough baseline for how the Sun is supposed to act, but…

That might be better than an asteroid. It would be a targeted disaster. Leftist nitwits hardest hit, people with brains enough to go south out of the cold would have a good chance (Hello from sunny Arizona!).

Then the Mexicans will suddenly think a wall is a great thing as Abrams and Bradleys go strolling across the Sonoran desert and the Rio Grande.

Last, and most freaky, via that guy who better hope he’s a lumberjack if he lives near the glaciers we get this bit of optic delusion.

Gastrointestinal Russian Roulette

Posted: March 25, 2013 by doubleplusundead in Random Crap

I just ate Taco Bell…