Round The Tubes: I Can’t Believe I Haven’t Burned Out Yet!

Posted: March 2, 2013 by veeshir in FAIL, Filthy Hippies, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP FAIL, Government FAIL, Nanny State, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, PEBKAC, WTF Is Wrong With Wisconsin

Edition.

Alternate headline

Denial: A better blogging tool than “ctrl C/ctrl V”.

Important, Above The Fold Update!

Dear Whoever Decides Where Commercials Go,

In Kelly’s Heroes you need to put the commercial after the tank blows a hole in the door, not before. You blow the dam joke doing it the way you do.

They just had it on the Military Channel and a military historian guy is explaining to Lou Diamond Philips how the whole end is ridiculous, they’d never get back across the lines.

Lou replies, “But it’s Clint Eastwood!”, the military guy just looks nonplussed. He has no response. Which is the correct response.

Now, back to the post!

Now this is interesting.  In the Godfather there is a bit where Don Corleone says that he tries not to let threats affect how he’ll act. I’ve tried to live by that, but sometimes you just have to respond to show the threatener that they’re nothing.

Hamas has warned President Obama against visiting the holy Temple Mount site in Jerusalem

So what does he do? Interesting.

If I was a high-up in some bellicose Israeli group I would warn him as well just to see his head explode. On the one hand, he will want to do what anybody who hates America wants him to do, but on the other hand he will want to do the opposite of what some people from that shitty, little country want him to do.

Waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Republicans warn Obama has ‘poisoned’ relations with campaign-style attacks

Awwwwwww, is ums sad cuz of that mean ole Obama?

Jebus, where the fuck have you assholes been the last 4 years? You’re whining cuz I Won isn’t playing nice?

Fuck. I’d say, “Grow  a pair”, but they’d just chop em back off if they did.

A couple links from this guy, one just below one at the end that I’m trying to forget I wrote. You’ll see.

This one cracks me up. I hope it’s true. Supposedly some Obama donor is buying up gun magazines to destroy them.

Good luck with that. Blow many $millions shoveling money into the ground and just give some entrepreneurs a chance to start new magazines.

I doubt it’s true though, you’d think that someone who could make enough money to do that would understand capitalism a little. Unless, of course, the guy got rich from scamming the system, like Acorn or something I guess.

Another poll that doesn’t make sense until you think about it (which I don’t suggest you do).

The people who just reelected Barack Obama don’t like Obamacare.

It’s not that they don’t want Obamacare, it’s that they don’t want to pay for it.

This one cracks me up. It’s a tale of “Fuck You America” and also a tale of “Here Obama, let me suck that for you.”

So Obama’s DHS released 2,000 criminals who were facing deportation. That’s the Fuck You America part, here’s the “Let me suck that” part.

The Homeland Security Department released from its jails more than 2,000 illegal immigrants facing deportation in recent weeks due to looming budget cuts

No, he did it to fuck with us, stop covering for that bullshit.

I will admit they call him a liar, which is cool.

The newly disclosed figures, …are significantly higher than the “few hundred” illegal immigrants the Obama administration acknowledged

Good for them, I’m surprised.

Once again FrnakJ must be on his meds and the calmer, Harvey, personality was on top for a while, so we got the next two.

First up: Obama Kind Bud!

Our Strain of the Union is here! A leader in it’s own right. Obama, is a heavy indica strain that is great for late afternoon or night time medication. This hard to find quintessential strain is sweet and pungent. The inhalation is smooth, resulting in a full body warmth and strong mental high.

Yeah, I’ll bet, if it were really Obama pot, it would cost 10 times what other pot does and it wouldn’t get you high, just give you a headache and some hallucinations via brain damage.

And next, the Assault Musket!

Assalt-Musket

Now I gotta find some scary, black furniture for my Martini/Henry.

This was originally at the top, but I had to move it down because I just couldn’t continue.

After I moved it down I went and got some  more coffee, kicked the dog and then came back and pretended it wasn’t here.

This is where the chuckler belongs, instead I got this hilariously infuriating link.

If I made this up, you people would call me an idiot and say I was being ridiculous. Now, I may be an idiot and I may be ridiculous, but not nearly as stupid and ridiculous as this.

Okay, that’s fucking hilarious,

Q:  A follow up. So someone mowing my lawn, someone shoveling snow for me over the winter, a baby sitter then?

A: Generally, those services would all be covered by the sales tax

I can just see the whole new bureaucracy for going around making sure that kids file forms 7788-425D for shoveling and 7788-426D for mowing lawns and 7788-421D for babysitting.

And I thought them trying to take my guns was going to the most egregious thing they did this month.

Never misunderestimate the greed and gall of a statist running out of money.

I put this in “WTF is wrong with Wisconsin” because they really need to invade Minnesota and handle that for us.

Comments
  1. Thank you. Just that. Thank you. HOWLING! Please don’t burn out. I need to be able to laugh at this shit.

    • veeshir says:

      Thanks, I need to laugh at shit too and there’s a lot of funny assed shit out there to laugh at.

      So long as you don’t think about it too hard.

  2. Sean M. says:

    Call it a failure of imagination on my part, but I just can’t seem to fully enjoy a WWII movie where one of the characters is a goddamn hippie.

    • Veeshir says:

      Notice I didn’t include it in my war movie post. It’s a good movie so long as you accept it was made at the height of We Hate The Military in Hollywood.

      I will say that Telly’s not-at-all-hidden homo-eroticism with Barbara….(Babra!) bothers me more.

  3. jokelly65 says:

    so now we know why the LEO’s were busting Kids lemonade stands for no business license, they were preparing for Taxing the Kids summer jobs.

    “Mom, can you help me with my taxes” “after you finish your Homework Bobby”

    • veeshir says:

      “Mom, can you help me with my taxes” “after you finish your Homework Bobby”

      That’s not fucking funny.

      Bwahahahahahahahahahahhaa.

  4. DejahThoris says:

    Here’s an even hilarious-er question: If you give your children a monthly allowance for performing regular household chores, does that make them independent contractors subject to the sales tax or employees?

    As far as Obama going to the Temple, if I were Israel, I’d refuse entry to the cocksucker as he is an enemy of the state.

    • veeshir says:

      Here’s an even hilarious-er question: If you give your children a monthly allowance for performing regular household chores, does that make them independent contractors subject to the sales tax or employees?

      Listen, just because we can figure out better ways for terrorists to attack us doesn’t mean we should say those ways out loud

      As far as Obama going to the Temple, if I were Israel, I’d refuse entry to the cocksucker as he is an enemy of the state.

      I’m hoping we can refuse him re-entry to America afterward.

  5. I’ll take four of those assault muskets. The Mrs. and the boys can reload when I’m firing.

    As for that last bit, I wish I hadn’t seen it. Our legislature in Olympia would be all over that idea like high school boys on a stripper at the Prom.

  6. DejahThoris says:

    I have found my imagination to be my own worst enemy…and now it can be yours as well!

    It should probably be held indefinitely in Gitmo.

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