Well there’s a link in your eye that keeps shining.

There is not a lot of love to be found, but why don’t you click some and make it all right?

I went to Kenya in 84, it was awesome. The people were cool, they liked Americans and only tried to sell me stuff (of course, I kept my cigs in my shirt pocket so many people helped themselves with a grin). That was about a year after their last civil war. One tribe  controlled the Air Force while another tribe, Danial arap Moi’s, controlled the Army. The Army won (yay!, the other tribe wanted to kill whitey). It looks as if the tribal war is heating up.

Just before the polls opened it was reported that four policemen were hacked to death by a gang of machete-wielding youths in the area of Mombasa.

Apcray.  It’s too bad, Kenya was awesome. If you’re ever in a Swahili-speaking country, umbili beer burridisan (phonetic) means “2  beers cold please”.

In more murderous African news, we at least get some hilarity .


Sudan Ramps Up Its Persecution of Christians

How exactly does that work? They’ve been killing and enslaving Christians for a long time now, how do you ramp up murder, rapine, expulsion from their land and slavery? Are they signing them up for magazine subscriptions they don’t want?

And lest the people of Darfur start thinking the murderous  Religion of Peace-ists running the country have forgotten them, they’re killing them too!

Sudan breached UN sanctions by using warplanes and rockets bought from Belarus and Russia in the Darfur conflict,

Business as usual in other words, with Russia and their pet dictator in Belarus providing peaceful weapons in a peaceful manner (peaceful as a grave).

But there is some interesting news, apparently there’s a civil war going on and the rebels are not doing too shabbily.

The fight for El Kurmuk — which Sudan’s army has denied — is the most serious for more than a year in Blue Nile state, which has been largely sealed from the outside world.

“There has been heavy fighting since the start of this week,” said the source, who cannot be identified.

Rebels claimed on Sunday to have pushed into Kurmuk’s southwest.

I’ll tell you what, generals might not want to get involved in a land war in Asia, but nobody wants to get involved in any fucking war in Africa. Being hacked partially apart with a machete or being shot by a 9 year old with an AK is so commonplace as to be not even notable.

Plagues in Egypt. I’ve read that book, it doesn’t end well.

The last time I respected a Law & Order episode was about female genital mutilation, that was a time when lefties almost (they came so close) admitted that some cultures just suck. It’s still going on and the only way to eradicate it is to stop pretending that brutal, murderous cultures don’t suck.

That’s enough African barbarity, I just can’t take it. When I was young I used to wonder why I deserved to be born in America and not there. That’s when I realized that it’s best not to think about it, just be grateful.

Speaking of murderous cultures that suck, I see a shortage of meat hooks for dragging people through the streets on the horizon.

Gaza’s Hamas rulers say they will begin a new campaign to find Palestinian collaborators with Israel.


I had some other middle east stuff, but just accept they’re working on killing everybody.

In an article about the criteria for the new pope I learned an awesome new word,  “Papabile”. It means that you’re considered in the running for Pope. Let’s see if I can work it into a sentence.

I’m palpably unpapabile!

Let’s go to America! I live there so it interests me.

In an update to the article about the kid being suspended for tackling another kid with a gun on a bus, we find it’s not so cut and dried. Jay at MaRooned finds some other stuff.

The boy’s mother told Fox4Now.com her son was suspended because he refused to cooperate with the investigation, adding that he was scared.

I’m not sure if that’s a mitigating fact, but apparently there could be more to the story than zero-tolerance assholes.

In more school hilarity, a kid raps out the lyrics from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air as his voice mail, school idjit calls to leave message, freaks out, calls cops because of threat (the fool didn’t understand what he meant by “shooting B-ball”). so the school was locked down and the kid was arrested. They let him go, but this is the part in every one of these misunderstandings that’s a perfect microcosm of America in the 21st Century.

Acting police Chief James Mann says police acted “appropriately” out of concern for students’ welfare.

Yeah, because you assholes actually listening to the “threat” before dispatching SWAT would have been too much like police work. Fuck you.

Via Gateway Pundit we find out that Obama isn’t happy with just an RC armada aimed at me, they need the vehicles (MRAPs) the Marines use in Iraq and Afghanistan for use against me. Ladies, gentlemen, readers of this blog I give you:

The new DHS sanctioned ‘Street Sweeper’ (my own slang due to the gun ports)…

I keel you

You have to love the “rescue” on the side. That’s just so perfectly Orwellian/Obamian.

Shit. Now we’re going to need tank traps and pitfalls as well as AA.

Speaking of which, a puppy blender post in its entirety (chopped into two quotes)

BOEHNER: We’ll consider any gun measures that pass the Senate. Some are upset about this, but I think it’s more a way of putting endangered Dems in the Senate on the spot, channeling Kurt Schlichter.

That’s hilarious, the only time Boehner uses machiavellian tactics is on me.


Related: Sen. Joe Manchin Really Doesn’t Want To Talk About Guns. “Editor’s note: This question and answer session was permitted under the condition that The Journal would not ask questions regarding gun control legislation or the Second Amendment, as requested by the senator’s staff.”

Get it? You can’t ask a Dem a wedge issue question. Remember folks, Petite lap giraffe good, petite lap press bad.

In a follow up on the story of the guy in Indiana jailed for pissing off the Laird (judge) of the land, lots of people are pissed off.

The group is led by University of California Los Angeles law professor Eugene Volokh and includes conservative lawyer James Bopp, a former executive director of the Indiana Civil Liberties Union, the Indiana Association of Scholars, The Indianapolis Star and the James Madison Center for Free Speech.

Good. But this part scares me.

It also argued their truthfulness were not necessarily relevant to prosecution because the harm, which in this case was striking fear in the victim, occurred “whether the publicized conduct is true or false,

I thought truth was a defense in America? Oh right, I forgot, you can’t piss of the powerful or they’ll send their RC air force and MRAPs after you.

In more revolution news, Alaska is working on a bill to tell the feds to fuck off if they try to take guns. Good.

So the USS Harry Truman (the buck stops before getting there) is in dock because they can’t afford to fuel it as the State Dept. spends a half $billion on global warmmongering. I hate paying for someone else’ religion.

Which is scarier, a rope swing across a canyon

The behind-the-scenes video describes it as a “400-foot free fall pendulum rope swing between a slot canyon.”

or this?

Don’t forget, if it’s not GONNA KILL US ALL!!!! it’s just not funny enough.

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