Buzzword Bingo

Posted: September 15, 2014 by veeshir in Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Obama's Fault

Obama is Building A Coalition To Degrade And/Or Contain ISIL

Funny and endy on so many levels.

First, the funniest and endiest.

Not a one of our allies trusts Obama not to screw them and they’re all looking at craziness and invasionistas close to home.

The idea of them sending troops for some vague statements by Obama is laughable Ha Ha!

He cited Yemen and fucking Somalia as success stories!

“This strategy of taking out terrorists who threaten us, while supporting partners on the front lines, is one that we have successfully pursued in Yemen and Somalia for years,” President Obama said.

Somalia, the place that many years is even worse than Congo, Afghans say, “Dude, get a country.”

For those who’ve read Dune,Yemen has the sietches where the warriors of Allah go in between attacks to have some tea, khif and little bum boys. Sort of a Sietch Terror.


It gets funnier when you  realize the point men are Joe Freaking Biden, Chuck Hagel and J Effin Kerry.  (Warning! Unsafe, Head Minitrue Outlet Link!)

Secretary of State John Kerry said on Monday that the Obama administration would keep the door open to confidential communications with Iran on the security crisis in Iraq,


Get that? They want to be Iran’s ally, I assume because they think if we are allies with everybody then there won’t be war!!!!!!!!! They’ll have treaties!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Piss For Our Times!!!!!!!!!! You know, instead of being Iran’s ally when they go to war with Israel.

And get the other part of that endy hilarity, Kerry told the NY Times that he wanted confidential negotiations with Iran. sigh.

So what’s a mad mullah to do when the US comes hat in hand, on bended knee and tells everybody he’s doing so?

Iranian Supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei announced Monday that Iran has privately (emphasis me, V)  refused U.S. requests for cooperation against the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria.

You have to love that shot at Kerry. That’s a nice touch.

Well you would have to love it if he weren’t the fucking Secretary Of Fucking State for the United Fucking States of Fucking America getting pwned by some 8th century mad mullah.

See? Funny and Endy.

But wait! There’s Still More!!!!!!! For a limited time on…ahh, who am I kidding. it  won’t be getting any better anytime soon.

…just hours after…, State Department spokeswoman Harf stated …

“To be very clear, we are not coordinating with, we do not want to coordinate with, we are not planning to coordinate with Iran in any way on Iraq, period,…


It’s sort of funny how often the super geniuses in the highest echelons of our gov’t have to clarify at least part of so many  prepared statements.

Or this one, Kerry today said something today  about how unfortunate it is that Iraq has been fighting ISIS by themselves.

From January this year, on a blog nobody here reads, was this tidbit,

J Effin Kerry at a press conferece. I saw part of this and expected to see this bit all over the place.

Iraq is fighting al Quaeda (now called ISIS)  in Fallujah and Ramadi (just like we did), and Kerry said this,

This is their fight,
Seriously? Not our fight? Obama’s given up on the Wo(S)T?

Of course now he has to walk back another set of comments. My favorite walkback was when he called Burma, “Myanmar”.

Now the other funny/endy part.

Why do we need a coalition? We’ll have to bribe half the assholes and then we’ll have a bunch of people who hate us back-seat driving us. Jebus, he wants Qatar and Iran. WTF?

So we’ll have allies who are not on our side and he’s pissed off our real allies so our coalition will be threadbare and worse than useless.

All we need is Iraq in our coalition.


He’s also already said it’s just air warfare and lawfare so ISIS just has to hunker down in big cities where Obama will not bomb them and wait out Obama’s short attention span.

So the coalition will be expensive and worse than useless, just like Obama.

We Be Boned.

  1. Leonard Jones says:

    The solution to this problem is so obvious a third grader could get it.Every Democrat since
    Hairy Ass Truman was king and eleventy star commanding general. They have micromanaged
    every conflict since Korea.

    All a Commander In Chief has to do is delegate. He tells his generals what he wants done and
    gets the fuck out of the way! If something goes wrong the general/s will always take the blame.
    But NOOOOOOO, Obonzo is afraid that any failure will be laid at his feet. Like all insecure
    liberals he is so risk averse that he is paralyzed with fear, when all he needs to do is make
    one simple decision.

    When some risk averse asshole in Washington was telling Douglas MacArthur he could
    only bomb “The Southern half” of a bridge, the war could never have been won and
    resulted in a downright loss in Vietnam! All it takes is a pair of balls, connected to
    a man who knows how to use them.

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