doubleplusundead

I’ve always liked side B of News of the World much more than side A

 

So, is this a criminal returning to the scene of the crime or is Tsar Putin I going to give a pep talk, ala King Edward V, prior to the coming invasion?

Russian President Vladimir Putin and Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev arrived in occupied Crimea.

It’s not invasion season in the area, but who knows? They have to realize that the next POTUS, either Hillary! or Trump, will have more balls than Obama.

This one has so many ridiculosities in it that I can’t figure out if it’s satire or real. It’s about the “cease fire” in Syria that apparently, people are still pretending is real.

First, we have this

However, two aid convoys have idled along the Turkish-Syrian border since Monday as the UN waits… for Damascus to grant official approval allowing the entry of the relief trucks.

 

So they’re waiting for permission from a murderous dictator, who’s pissed on every “Red Line” Obama keeps setting, to give them permission to resupply the people he has under siege? Seriously?

More

The Castello Road has been at the center of the US-Russia brokered cessation of hostilities in Syria, which stipulates not only a freeze on fighting but also the shipment of relief supplies to eastern Aleppo.

“Your shoelaces are untied!”….

As plans for the Aleppo aid delivery hang in the balance, threatening the US-Russian-backed cessation of hostilities

So the Syrians dropping 50-gallon drums loaded with explosives and jagged pieces of shit-dipped metal isn’t a violation of the cease-fire but failure to give aid is? Ummmmm, ceasing fire is the first prerequisite of a cease-fire. It’s right there in the name! That’s the biggest reason I think this might be satire.

They Syrians want some of that sweet, sweet aid too.

Regime loyalists in two towns north of Aleppo have protested against allowing aid into opposition-held eastern Aleppo until relief shipments were also dispatched to encircled areas of the Idlib province

I’m actually on their side, if you’re going to give aid to one set of murderous jihadis, why not give it to the another set of murderous assholes? The more energy spent on killing each other in Syria the less they have to use elsewhere.

 

The EUnuchs are not amused!

The panel – titled “Refugees, Populism, Brexit – Is the EU coming apart? – was composed of (Eunuchs, V)….

He added that modern issues “cannot be solved on the basis of the nation-state. I think our British friends will find that out the hard way.”…

 

No, we need unelected oligarchs to rule us!!!! Something totally new!!!!! Since it’s new we need a new name!!! We can call it the Holy… ummm… Gaian Roman Empire!

Unelected, entitled, better than we oligarchs!

…British politician and pro-Brexit campaigner Michael Howard, criticized the panel for suggesting that xenophobia was the root of both Brexit and Europe’s apparent disintegration.

“It’s about the will of the people,” Howard said.

the darkest forces that exist on our continent” were the driving force behind the move towards disintegration.

I agree. Except for a little blip in the 19th and 20th century, Europeans are not amused by freedom loving people. That’s why there’s an America.

I have to agree with this too.

“You cannot imagine Europe without migration

Exactly, Goths, Huns, Saxons, Celts… the list goes on and on. Now we have the next set of invaders from north Africa and the Middle East instead of the steppes, it’s just a typical historic pattern that’s happened since long before Homer was singing for his supper.

 

We are on the defensive,” said Barroso during his opening remarks, regarding the project for a united Europe. Political parties that have “bashed Europe for 30 years” laid the ground for events like Brexit, he said.

No, you’re offensive. But as for the rest of the remark; so for 30 years people have been bashing a EUnuchstan that only formed in 1992? Or were you talking about this?

The French President, Charles de Gaulle, has for a second time said he will veto Britain’s application to join the Common Market.He warned France’s five partners in the European Economic Community (EEC) that if they tried to impose British membership on France it would result in the break-up of the community.

Damn unhelpful types.

I forget who said it, but we really are living in a deeply stupid time.

Okay, this one makes me laugh. A Spanish town is putting artistic representations of shit around their town to get dog owners to clean up after their dogs. Someone stole their giant pile of inflatable merde. They were just begging for it to be ripped off. It’s awesome looking.  The pic at that link makes it look like merde blanco, but if you click to the Spanish language link, you’ll see it’s merde marrón. So if you see a huge pile of inflatable shit, call Spain.

 

Which lets us seg our ue to America! There are like a billion yard sales around here every weekend but I am pretty depressed I missed this one.

ABC 15 reported the (Chic-Fil-A) cow was spotted in a backyard on Monday. The owner reportedly told police he purchased it at a garage sale over the weekend believing it was a bounce house.

The inflatable cow was initially stolen from out of the back of a pickup truck at a local event on Sept. 4.

Now I’m going to have to go to Spanish yard sales to see if I can find Merde Grande.

 

I’m calling Hillary Clinton on this one. So the entitled millionaire from the Broncos who’s pissing on America said this

I was in Miami with three others at a restaurant and there was a shooting.

We began to leave the only way we knew, but there was a lady in regular street clothes directing traffic, telling us, “Go this way, go this way!” At a serious, scary moment a lady I didn’t know was telling me which way to go, and I didn’t trust it.

We went our own way, and she yelled to the cops, “Stop him! Get him!” When I turned around, about five officers rushed toward me to take me down. They tried to take me down up top, then they tried to grab my legs. One of the cops pointed a Taser at my chest. They handcuffed me and I heard one say, “Take him in for resisting.”

I was in the back of the police car headed to the station when one of the officers radioes in and said, “Bring him back.” They told me, “Look, we’re not going to take you in as long as you keep this between us.”

I hope Miami cops sue the shit out of that clintonian sack of America-hate. Hmmmm, maybe he took Merde Grande thinking it was an homage to him?

An ongoing series, starting in the 70s.

Taxpaying New Yorkers are leaving in droves for other states, according to a new study.

 

I watched GE, Carrier, IBM, Oneida Silver, Corningware, Xerox, Veeshir and more leave that state for freer pastures over the last 40 years. Now, in the age of the intertubes, you don’t need to live anywhere special to conduct financial stuff, which means that Wall St. is now online.

It’s too bad. Upstate NY was always screwed up but still a cool place to live if you didn’t mind snow and cold. It has mountains, lakes, beaches, amusement parks, farms, the Erie Canal and lots of industry. Now, it has shopping and welfare.

 

I love this one.

TrumpLeaks is an effort to uncover unreported video or audio of Donald Trump so voters can have access to the Donald Trump who existed before running for president and before his recent affinity for teleprompters.

 

Like Hillary!, Trump has been in the public eye for decades. Unlike Hillary! he does not hide and lie his way through life with a compliant media aiding and abetting his cover-ups. All the dirt on him as been tabloid fodder forever.

The funniest part is this bit that proves what I just wrote

When it comes to Donald Trump, we already have video of interviews where he discussed his preferred sexual positions, said “I would love to be a well-educated black, because I really believe they do have an actual advantage today” and declared “putting a wife to work is a very dangerous thing.” Given Trump’s long career as a celebrity and provocateur, there’s certainly more where that came from.

If we want we can know his favorite sexual position (by “we” I mean ‘you’, I don’t wanna know), is there really anything we don’t already know about him?

Well, except what he’d do as POTUS, but the only way we’ll find that out is to elect him.

 

We do know all about Hillary! in general (there’s a reason “clintonian” is a dysphemism for lying)  even as her compliant media shields us from knowing the details of her mendacity.

Hillary Clinton’s campaign is stealing from her poorest supporters by purposefully and repeatedly overcharging them after they make what’s supposed to be a one-time small donation through her official campaign website, multiple sources tell the Observer.

The overcharges are occurring so often that the fraud department at one of the nation’s biggest banks receives up to 100 phone calls a day from Clinton’s small donors asking for refunds for unauthorized charges

Every time you think you’ve plumbed the depths of the Clintons’ scumbaggery, you find out they’re worse.

 

Eh, at least I have a chuckler to end on today.

Only Stormtroopers are so precious!