‘Safer’ And ‘Safer’

Posted: September 25, 2016 by veeshir in Fun With Media, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, We're boned

Via Weasel Zippers we find out there were 4 incidents last night.

First, the story from the previous post where 3 guys are shooting up Baltimore.

Police Commissioner Kevin Davis said around 8:00 pm three men – two armed with hand guns and a third with a long gun believed to a shotgun – emerged simultaneously from planned points of attack near the intersection of E. Preston Street and Greenmount Avenue and began firing into a group of people. Six men 26, 30, 30, 33, 36, 39 , a 36-year old woman and 3-year-old girl were shot.

No description of the perps, but since they write this

Police believe this shooting is in retaliation to a triple shooting that occurred during Labor Day weekend in the area of E. Monument Street and N. Luzerne Avenue.

I’m gonna say “Black” even though they don’t mention any description of the perps in that shooting.

Next, we have a stabbing attack in Boston

Boston Police Superintendent Bernard O’Rourke said police have identified a suspect. Emerson College sent an alert to its students stating that two suspects were at large.

No description of the suspect they’ve identified. That one’s harder, but a stabbing? Possibly a mostly-peaceful BLM protestor but I’d bet not, more likely it’s an illegal immigrant who came here to work hard and make America great but possibly a ‘youth’ who is responding to Trump’s rhetoric about the Religion of Peace.

Next, we have a shooting in Champagne Illinois

The argument transitioned outside where a fight broke out and shots were fired,” Champaign police said in a statement. “The victims in the incident were not involved in the fight.  Mr. Korchev was walking near the area when the shots were fired.”

Police said three other people suffered wounds from the shooting, and a fourth was hit by a car running away from the gunshots.

That one’s hard to figure out too, possibly a misunderstood black man outraged by Trump’s rhetoric, but it could be an illegal immigrant outraged by Trump’s rhetoric, less likely is it being members of the Religion of Peace outraged by Trump’s rhetoric.

Last, we have an attempted robbery in Tennessee

a man who unsuccessfully tried to rob a gas station while wearing underwear on his head as a mask but after being turned away claimed, “This is stupid,” according to a press release…

Around midnight on Wednesday, an unidentified white male entered Zoomerz gas station and convenience store on Memorial Boulevard in Kingsport.

It’s a white guy so we’re told his race. The clerk laughing at the guy with tighty-whiteys on his head is pretty funny.

It’s unclear if there were two of them but possible since DPUD has obtained exclusive vid of the perps


Note: They’re not actually superheros.


Our fine media and law enforcement betters, making us safer by keeping important information from us because we’re just too violent and will probably just lash out at an “other” for any reason or for none at all.


  1. imadenier says:

    I don’t think we’re supposed to say “illegal immigrant” but rather “undocumented…” and I hear that Indians, dot, not feather, are the largest cohort now…but they tend to be brownish too… for what it’s worth…

  2. The Neon Madman says:

    That superhero picture was my laugh of the day, Veeshir.


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