What if you meet yourself from an alternate universe and he doesn’t have a goatee? Does that mean you’re the evil one?

The reason I ask is because I think I’m in an alternate universe where irony holds no sway.

Hillary’s commencement speech

We were asking urgent questions about whether women, people of color, religious minorities, immigrants would ever be treated with dignity and respect. And by the way, we were furious about the past presidential election of a man whose presidency would eventually end in disgrace with his impeachment for obstruction of justice. After firing the person running the investigation into him at the department of justice.

And nobody in the crowd stood up and asked her if she had brain damage. Seriously, put, “perjury which was” before “obstruction of justice” and that’s Bill’s POTUSy. Of course, we weren’t asking questions about whether women would be treated with dignity and respect, we were making fun of women’s looks and calling them lying trailer trash.

 

This journolister doesn’t mention crying, I figure it’s just to be assumed.

Boehner said Trump “did what he could” with healthcare, but never subscribed to the idea of ‘repeal, then replace.’ Instead he should have worked to ‘repair’ Obamacare.

“Everything else he’s done [in office] has been a complete disaster,” said Boehner. “He’s still learning how to be president.”

The only thing Trump’s done domestically is undo a bunch of Obama’s law-breaking/law-making and try to get Congress to do something useful. So not so much a disaster as, “A best case scenario” because we all knew Congress was not going to do anything useful but we hoped Trump might.

Notice Boehner is saying Trump should “repair” Obamacare, what I have been saying Congress really wanted to do instead of the repeal we want and they claimed to want.

 

This is unexpected.

Heard any good Mike Flynn jokes lately?

How about this one from “Morning Joe,” this week? “When it comes to legal issues, he’s like Charmin. You just keep squeezing.” Maybe you’ve seen Stephen Colbert’s segmentfrom February about Trump’s former national security adviser: “It’s funny ’cause it’s treason.”…

…If there truly was treason, it’s no joking matter. If there was not, then this man’s name is being tarnished unfairly. Ha. Ha…

None of this would be happening without some very dirty business from the national security state. It’s a two-pronged campaign. First there are the whispers. Anonymous officials …

The second and more insidious element here is the innuendo. Yates never says Flynn was a spy for Russia. … she told Lizza, Flynn was “compromised by the Russians.” This sounds far more sinister than…

…dropped by former CIA director John Brennan. …. “Frequently, people who go along a treasonous path do not know they are on a treasonous path until it is too late,” he warned.

And some people, like Brennan, are no doubt fully aware of the treasonous path they’re treading. Cuz they didn’t like who won the last election and the We’re Better And Smarter Than You Party is above the law.

Contacts between the Trump campaign and Russian individuals “raised questions in my mind about whether Russia was able to gain the cooperation of those individuals.” This cooperation could be “witting” or “unwitting,” he cautioned.

So…Hillary is let off because she didn’t mean to break the law while Flynn’s actions “raised questions” but were possibly (read: probably) ‘unwitting’. We know who our fine intelligence betters are going after.

Now, it’s entirely possible that the government will charge Flynn and other Trump associates with high crimes. This would be a political disaster for the president. But at least if the government does present such charges, Flynn will have the opportunity to defend himself. In the interim, if that day ever comes, Flynn must follow the advice of his lawyers and keep quiet.

Only the NYTimesWashPostCNNABCCBSNBCFoxnewsetc. will charge and convict him. That’s the point. That’s why Comey Is Going To Testify!!!!! not right away. But Real Soon!!!!!!! So they can keep trying to weaken the man they hate. And if America gets screwed over that? Well that’s our fault for voting for that fascist!

This is not how it’s supposed to work. Normally if a U.S. official is suspected of treason, the government collects evidence before hinting to the public what it might be seeking evidence about.

Bloomberg view wrote that, not me. No, really. Click the link if you don’t believe me.

 

Let’s Disaster!

First, Trump’s Disastrous Budget Of Death!

A provision included in the Justice Department’s proposed fiscal 2018 budget seeks to …

require law enforcement to comply with federal immigration detainers…

Analysts had earlier said all federal dollars sent to state and local jurisdictions, ranging from health to community development grants, could be at risk under the order.

Under the budget proposal, all Justice Department and Homeland Security Department grants would be at risk if jurisdictions failed to comply with the new expanded version of Section 1373.

The nerve of him! Doesn’t he know that’s unConstitutional? Doesn’t he also know there’s no way the GOP is going to vote for that? Doesn’t he know that’s only good to show his political opponents (everybody in politics) are lying sacks of pandering?
I’d say the answers are, “He knows some judge will say so. He’d fight it but it won’t come to that because…”, “Yes” and “That’s the point!”, respectively.

 

Not so much “disaster” as “awesome“,

A U.S. warship carried out a “maneuvering drill” when it sailed within 12 nautical miles of an artificial island built up by China in the South China Sea, to show Beijing it was not entitled to a territorial sea around it, U.S. officials said on Thursday.

The operation near Mischief Reef on Thursday, Pacific time, among a string of islets, reefs and shoals over which China has disputes with its neighbors,

You need to let them know you won’t back down, I do wish we’d heard about this some other way though.

On Thursday, the destroyer USS Dewey conducted a “man overboard” exercise, specifically to show that its passage within 12 nautical miles was not innocent passage, U.S. officials said.

“USS Dewey engaged in normal operations by conducting a maneuvering drill inside 12 nautical miles of Mischief Reef,” one official said, speaking on condition of anonymity.

“The ship’s actions demonstrated that Mischief Reef is not entitled to its own territorial sea regardless of whether an artificial island has been built on top of it.”

Stop anonymously fucking leaking you assholes. If that was an ‘authorized leak’, they need to stop those for a while. We have to get gov’t assholes under control.

Related.

It comes ahead of a visit to Singapore next week by U.S. Defense Secretary Jim Mattis to discuss security with regional counterparts.

Mattis is not easily intimidated. I am a little surprised, I figured Trump would send Tillerson first, then Mattis. The carrot and the bludgeon in other words.

Beijing said two Chinese guided-missile warships had warned the U.S. vessel to leave the waters and that it had lodged “stern representations” with the United States.

I’d bet their guided missile warships! probably had the same effect on their course I had and I’m sure the “stern representations” were treated with all the respect they were due.

 

Now, I’m not a financial guy, what I know about economics would fit on one page. And mostly be wrong. The one thing I do know is, “Don’t trust socialists.

Fidelity Investments may support shareholder proxy proposals calling on companies to report on sustainability matters this year, a major shift by the Boston asset manager as climate activists gain more traction at large US corporations.

While Fidelity will generally vote as company managers recommend on environmental or social issues, “Fidelity may support shareholder proposals calling for reports on sustainability, renewable energy and environmental impact issues,” states a new section of its proxy voting guidelines.

 

Sell, sell, sell! Winthorpe told me to buy frozen orange juice futures. Or pasts. I forget.

“Sustainability” projects never seem to be sustainable, ‘renewable energy’ counts on huge, ongoing, influxes of gov’t money. When that dries up so does the company. “Environmental impact issues” are basically Flagellants attempting to repel Global Worming induced plagues, they advocate lowering our standard of living to appease Gaia, blow out a candle and praise the dark sort of people.

 

Showed Him!!!

French President Emmanuel Macron swerved to avoid President Trump — so that Macron could be first to greet German Chancellor Angela Merkel instead, as the leaders met in Brussels.

The apparent snub was caught on video, and tweeted by Macron,

Child. “Look at me! I made him think I was gonna shake his hand but I didn’t.”

At least they let him in the country. Which reminds me, is Trump barred from Britain?

 

Fucking Obama, just has to lie every time he opens his mouth.

Obama: “I Didn’t Always Have The Tools” I Needed, “But At Least We Tried” In Syria
At a speech in Germany, former President Barack Obama laments that he didn’t always “have the tools” to do what he wanted to do to stop the war in Syria.

He’s saying he didn’t have tools? He had uber-tools Joe Biden, J. Effin’ Kerry and Chuck, Won’t Someone Take My Calls?, Hagel on the job. What more could he want?

 

This is just ignorant.

dwelling on the last administration can suffice for a counter-narrative with no higher purpose than to give partisan Republicans a way to deflect criticisms away from Trump. But that does not absolve us of our obligation to set the record straight. When it comes to the Obama era, that record is, at times, a disturbing one.

For example, it would be wise for the nation’s objective and center-left media outlets to join the right in dedicating some attention to a bombshell scoop alleging the systemic violation of American civil rights in the Obama years.

Bombshell Scoop!?!?!?!?! We watched it happen, they ignored it, buried it and called anybody who noticed it a racist, paranoiac or Tea Bagger (racist, hater in other words).

What does he expect them to do now? Tarnish the God-President’s Legacy? Admit they were feckless assholes for…ummmm, ever? (I kept going back in time to find a POTUS they didn’t lie about. Maybe Washington?)

 

For news from the land of Tolerance, Love and Mostly-Peace! we go to Evergreen College, where lefties being mostly-peaceful is evergreen!

Over the last 72 hours, students have taken over a small liberal arts college in Washington state, and only one adult has tried to stop them.

Students at Evergreen State College in Olympia, who filmed their exploits and posted the videos on social media, have occupied and barricaded the library, shouting down anyone who disagrees with them or shows insufficient passion for racial justice.

Biology professor Bret Weinstein was berated by dozens of students outside of his classroom Tuesday morning for refusing to participate in an event in which white people were invited to leave campus for a day. Now, he says police have told him to hold his classes off campus due to safety concerns…

Now, Weinstein’s reportedly been told to avoid campus because his safety is at risk.

Police told me protesters stopped cars yesterday, demanding information about occupants,” Mr. Weinstein told The Washington Times. “They believe I was being sought. It appears that the campus has been under the effective control of protesters since 9:30 a.m. Tuesday.

Talk about tolerance and mostly-peace!

So tolerant, loving and mostly-peaceful that

Police are on lockdown

Okay, that’s hilarious.

Or it would be if it was a scene in Airplane III, not so funny since it’s a college Where Our Elite Meet To Excrete!

 

How Dare You Call Us Baddasses!

The Polish Embassy to the United States gave Cramer a refresher course in WWII this week after learning that, on May 11, he had remarked: “Macy’s is like the Polish Army in WWII — it tried to field cavalry against German tanks and it did not end well.”

Poland was not amused.

I’ve only rarely heard people make fun of them for that, I usually respond with comments about duty, honor and balls.

“Here are the facts: in 1939 there were a number of recorded Polish cavalry charges against the invading Nazi German forces. These charges were directed against infantry, artillery, supplies, and at time as a means of breaking encirclement, but never against tanks.”

They knew they were going to die, but they were fighting murderous Nazis who wanted to kill much of their population to make some Lebensraum for good, German stock. Hitler was not shy about talking about that. It’s just that important people knew he didn’t mean it.

 

This surely ain’t no Keystone Pipeline.

A heavy metal music festival in Germany constructed a 4-mile long beer pipeline to more efficiently serve beverages to its guests.

The Wacken Open Air music festival in the northern German state of Schleswig-Holstein began constructing the massive beer pipeline in the fall and announced it was completed on Tuesday.

Definitely not Keystone Lite either. Germany knows beer.

 
I don’t know the answer to this question, maybe someone here could help her out?

 

Caballero stuff.

Okay, now we have to replace the fuel pump that I forgot I was told wasn’t very good. It’s a crappy electric one that I thought was a good electric one. I hope. I’m getting sick of people telling me stuff and then the next guy telling me the opposite. Hopefully that stops the “stall when idling in hot weather” problem. That’s not a good problem to have in the greater Phoenix metropolitan region.

In VA and NY, I’m in the car business and know mechanics who work for booze and grilled steaks and taters, out here I’m at the mercy of these people.

One guy told me I had too much carburetor and I needed to get rid of it and get a different one.

Another guy told me I didn’t have enough carb, I have a Holley 750, and I need to get a different one. I also need a different distributor from the brand new, HEI one that others have said, “That’s awesome!”

 

Personal stuff. My niece is getting married next month at the Wynn in Vegas. I waited too long so I didn’t get in her block of rooms. They also don’t have any rooms with two beds that weekend. I like my buddy, but not that much.

For about $50 more/night I got a sweet suite at the Venetian Palazzo right across a side street from the Wynn. I love the Venetian, it’s just cool. I forgot about Vegas too and boggled when she asked, “Smoking or non-smoking?” “Extra-smoking please.” My buddy chain-smokes and I’ll bring some cigars.

The best part? I’ll be at the wedding and all the events but I won’t be staying in the same hotel as my family.

As George Burns said, happiness is a large, caring, close-knit family staying at a different casino…living in another state.

 

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Comments
  1. bruce says:

    What a disgraceful statement by Obumbo, as President of the mightiest nation on earth he ‘didn’t have the tools’ to end a war.

    The Hittites did it. The Romans did it. Other nations are doing it right now.
    And I KNOW the USA can do it, but it depends on leadership, looking at you Obumbah.

    Hilarious how Hillary forgot what ‘impeachment for obstruction of justice’ means to most of us.

    My son had a thing for the TV show Sliders, we have lots of DVDs. Pretty good old show, quite conservative.

  2. bruce says:

    Working with Germans in this big place in India, I switched rooms due to noise, so Madam Secretary decided I was trying to dodge the rent ($40 a week? Yeah right). So she went right to the boss and informed on me (I’d already told him and he was cool). Then she told me I would have to pass the money to her to be receipted. We ate breakfast together so I just put the money on the table, ‘Here I trust you, do whatever’. ‘No!’ she cried, ‘Zis is not ze vay! (This is not the way!)’. I was supposed to come to her office at 10am, which was about a mile uphill… I flipped. The Indian staff all came to see the white guy yelling at the German woman (it was a school). That’s ‘German efficiency’. Lots of other anecdotes of Australian-German cultural dissonance.

    Thing is we worked together and she was ok. Very conservative, kept a framed portrait of her Dad over her bed (!) (He looked like an old Nazi) Anyway last I heard she became a Christian nun in Bangladesh. Ach, these Chermans.

    The French swore under their breath at me, I heard ‘Les Anglo-Saxonne barbarien!’

  3. Allen says:

    I’ve been wondering about the mechanics you’ve been dealing with. Do you owe money to a really weird loan shark? Instead of breaking your legs he makes you go to these guys as punishment.

  4. imadenier says:

    … omg…
    i have a goatee…
    it is an alternate universe …
    and i’m the evil twin…

    sliders was good, i liked quantum leap too …

  5. veeshir says:

    It’s never Obama’s fault. He did whatever he wanted everywhere around the world but he didn’t have the tools in Syria.
    What a tool.

    German efficiency sounds an awful lot like bureaucratism, If the French aren’t calling you names you’re doing it wrong.

    That’s a good question Allen, it shows good paranoia, but the answer is much more mundane. HayZeus follows me around and tells mechanics to screw with me.

    I found a vacuum hose that’s supposed to go to the gas tank that’s broken. I’m going to fix it later when the kid with the gigantic magnifying glass goes to bed, hopefully the fuel pump isn’t the problem.

    So I’m already in the evil universe? I should have known.
    The other me must be a really good guy, I hope I never meet that loser.

  6. […] veeshir on What If He Doesn’t Have… […]

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