Archive for the ‘Drunkblogging’ Category

Me tubin’ Too.

First, something I can’t decide if it’s funny or endy or just pathetically terrifying.

When I played that, it had a Trump ad across the middle. I’ll call that a win.

Which leads to a comment I posted at Paco’s that made me laugh. I’m posting it here to make me laugh again.

RebeccaH, good point.

Starting with the ’96 election, the candidates have become progressively (pun intended) worse and worse.

If you plot the trajectory on a graph, you find that by 2024 the candidates will be a Papa John’s pizza running against Wednesday.

 

Next, some gunny stuff.

I must have been about 5 years too young for this awesomeness.

I still want one.

 

So, anybody up for a game of pool?

I’d need to borrow a 9mm, my stuff just blows the shit out of the table.

 

Coupla reposts

Good question, good intro, good reminder.

 

And of course, my favorite Steve Lee song, but he has a bunch of awesome ones.

See also

i-like-guns-tee-got (1)

 

In AZ, they have HOV-2, I wonder if this’ll count.

 

Can I get a Yee Motherfucking Haw?

Is it caturday yet?

 

I had an Ebiscu Muscats vid ready, but as I watched it, I realized it just wasn’t as hot as Banana Mango High School.

But this one was queued on the side, so I figured I would post it as a public service to the Chinese who seem hell-bent on getting into a war with the Chinese.

We are not nearly afraid enough of the Japanese.

What the hell is going on in that vid eo? There’s something about it that almost makes sense but it’s just out of reach.

I mean, you can almost see it, and then a bunch of bones floats by and a huge black guy in knickers starts dancing.

I just find it hard to believe that even two atomic bombs can erase centuries of being badasses so they’re a powderkeg waiting to get off…go off.

 

A non video drudgetaposition

Legalized pot in Washington

People are taking Washington St ferries and stumbling off without their cars.

 

Let’s end on a hate crime.

lgb and tatas

 

Actually, let’s end on more Hillary! videos.

(more…)

Ruminations on stuff.

I took the southern route down 81 to 40 to Holbrook, AZ. It was 200 miles longer than if I had gone 90 to 70 to 44 to 40 to Holbrook, I checked at 44 and I was 1509 miles from my sister’s house while I had driven 1724.

I still think it was a good idea. The other route had at least $35 tolls, I paid none, and the traffic would have been much worse so I’d guess my way took less than 3 hours more because of the difference in traffic. I’d rather just set the cruise for 80 and sleep most of the way.

I meant to write this last year….The Most Stupider Use Of Electronic Signs In The Country! Award goes to…….Tennessee!!!!!

The only one that mentioned a problem on the road said that the lane blockage had been cleared…. just before I got stuck in traffic because of a lane closure. Thank you Nashville.

My personal favorites were the 5-6 that said, “Keep your eyes on the road!”. Which I had been doing until I looked up to read your fucking sign.

 

Another day, another giving Clintons the benefit of the doubt. This time over the head of the “Justice” Dept. meeting secretly with Bill to discuss grandchildren, the weather and the dishonesty and corruption they’re involved with.

Of course, our fine media betters are all giving them the benefit of the doubt.

Just the way they did in the 90s When the Clintons said, “We did nothing wrong!!!”. When it was shown that they had lied and the Clintons came out said, “Sure we did that small part that was just proven by GOP haters, but that’s it.” and they were given the benefit of the doubt, they , The NYTimesWashPostCNNABCCBSNBCetc. gave them the benefit of the doubt.. then, when it was shown that they had lied and the Clintons came out said, “Sure we did that small part that was just proven by GOP haters, but that’s it.”

Then the NYTimesWashPostCNNABCCBSNBCetc. gave them the benefit of the doubt.. then, when it was shown that they had lied and the Clintons came out said, “Sure we did that small part that was just proven by GOP haters, but that’s it.” and they were given the benefit of the doubt…..

Then the NYTimesWashPostCNNABCCBSNBCetc. gave them the benefit of the doubt.. then, when it was shown that they had lied and the Clintons came out said, “Sure we did that small part that was just proven by GOP haters, but that’s it.” and they were given the benefit of the doubt…..

Then the NYTimesWashPostCNNABCCBSNBCetc. gave them the benefit of the doubt.. then, when it was shown that they had lied and the Clintons came out said, “Sure we did that small part that was just proven by GOP haters, but that’s it.” and they were given the benefit of the doubt……

Then the NYTimesWashPostCNNABCCBSNBCetc. gave them the benefit of the doubt.. then, when it was shown that they had lied and the Clintons came out said, “Sure we did that small part that was just proven by GOP haters, but that’s it.” and they were given the benefit of the doubt…..

Then the NYTimesWashPostCNNABCCBSNBCetc. gave them the benefit of the doubt.. then, when it was shown that they had lied and the Clintons came out said, “Sure we did that small part that was just proven by GOP haters, but that’s it.” and they were given the benefit of the doubt…..

Then the NYTimesWashPostCNNABCCBSNBCetc. gave them the benefit of the doubt.. then, when it was shown that they had lied and the Clintons came out said, “Sure we did that small part that was just proven by GOP haters, but that’s it.” and they were given the benefit of the doubt….

 

Sorry, I got stuck in a Wolf Blitzer loop.

 

I am so boned. I contacted George Clinton and Bush to see if they needed a campaign manager and you know what I found out? They’re not running!?!?!?!?!!

Clinton-Bush

Apparently Bush is not one person and all of the members of the band are Brits, so they can’t run and George Clinton said he couldn’t work with Congress. He prefers the parliamentary system.

(*smack*) (Sorry).

So now I need to find another choice. Sigh.

Last thing, a riddle.

What sound does a golden cow make?     Golden Cow

 

answer below the fold.

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Geez, we haven’t had a good blogwar around here for ages.

Of course, we here at DPUD don’t blogwar against other blogs, we are all about the interblogwar.

I’ll start.

80s music sucks, they had far superior music in the

60s,

70s (it’s a 4 minute song, not sure what they do the last two minutes)

90s

and even the 00s

Remember folks, smack, LSD and pot make good music, cocaine only makes good movies.

Speaking of drugs, this is lame.

star trek wiz

Now maybe the rest would play that, but we all know Kirk would walk in (swoosh) in and start bitch-slapping people.

An artist’s rendition

Pic via The Outrider.Borepatch.

The New Normal

Posted: October 10, 2013 by veeshir in Drunkblogging, Obama's Fault

WTF?

We have a president who has:

Facilitated the killing of Americans (Fast and Furious and other gunrunning schemes),

Ignored things while Americans are killed (Benghazi)

Kills Americans without any sort of due process (Americans in other countries with his Cox Skybombers)

Unleashed a thuggish bunch of federal workers on us, NPS, EPA, IRS, etc.

What. The Fuck?

 

Seriously.

What the fucking fuck?

How the fuck did we get here?

Yeah, My Old One Gets That Too

Posted: October 5, 2013 by veeshir in Drunkblogging, Hotassery

We all saw the story last week about the person having a sex-change that went bad and then committed suicide.

But what I didn’t see anywhere was this article with this quote. (I did see it at Eric’s)

my new penis had symptoms of rejection

Story of my life.

But an interesting part of the story is the mentions of euthanasia (not Youth In Asia). They’re doing it for no reason except the people want to die.

is the same doctor who late last year gave lethal injections to congenitally deaf twins who were frightened they were also going blind.

Get it? They thought they might go blind. They weren’t actually blind.

And this from the sex-changee.

My( new breasts did not match my expectations and my new penis had symptoms of rejection. I do not want to be… a monster. “

Her penis hadn’t actually rejected her,

So in other words, a person who hated how (s)he looked enough to go through drastic, sex-change surgery was not happy with how (s)he looked after and so committed suicide.

Or rather, they all asked someone to kill them.

I’m not taking a position for or against euthansia, but that right there is pretty far down the road when they’re using it for people who obviously have psychological problems instead of people who are about to die a horrible death (cancer or something) who’ve decided to just move the timetable ahead.

That’s pretty much what critics said would happen.

Of course, it’s also probably pretty much what supporters expected as well.

This is kind of creepy.

the country (Belgium V) is currently deciding whether to extend “mercy killing” legislation to children.

That’s pretty disturbing.

I was reading my NY Times style guide and realized I’d have to post a correction on my reportage of the incident at the Capitol the other day.

There were no children killed and I failed to note that the woman did it because of all the Barrackades around the monuments in DC and the ocean. and she was also upset that Katie Perry had decided to cover up her ass ettes.

This went far afield from when I started, It was supposed to be dick jokes and then the correction.

Crown will do that.

A few pictures of the shutdown below the fold (more…)

Dat Teef

Posted: May 1, 2013 by aliceaitch in Drunkblogging, Random Crap

I started a jug of Crown a little while ago. Let’s see what happens!

First up, What’s the Wash Post going to do? We all saw Woodward calling Obama insane and then the White House going all Chicago on him. I’d be a little more supportive of Woodward if the Wash Post wasn’t such a facilitator of Obama’s lies.

I wonder if the Wash Post will grow a pair, but notice the above links do not go there. I’m betting against it, this is just a little fillip and they’ll be back to kneeling and bobbing by tomorrow.

A couple IMAO links,

Hillary is going on the speaking circuit! I’m not saying she won’t be paid well for it, I’m just wondering if anybody will actually show up to listen to her smugly screech.

I just noticed that I did the post the other day about the 1911 knives without the link. I guess nobody wanted one, but there it is anyway.

A little history lesson (I love this one)

Original-assault-rifle

Funny how that worked out.

Speaking of which, the NY boycott is up to 97 businesses. I will say that I love it when a blogger finds an important niche and does good. I hope his hit count is way up there.

The war between the states is getting funnier and endier.  Texas is running $billions in surpluses, Illinois is running $billions in deficits. How long before Obama raids  tries to raid Texan coffers for the Illinois welfare state with hilariously violent results?

Well this is unsettling.  Supposedly Hezbollah is fighting in Syria for the gov’t. So another set of jihadis added to that dog’s breakfast. The truck bomb war is going to heat up.

China threatening Japan, the Philippines and Vietnam. Yay! They’re moving missiles across the South China Sea.

Wow, whiskey makes me laconic! Good thing I wasn’t drinking vodka.

A couple of chucklers from the List of What Global Worming Hath Wrought!

From 11/15/08, Will Global Worming Cause Ohio to lose buckeye trees? (spoiler alert: No)

From 6/29/2005, Global Worming Will Make The Earth Lopsided! A little trouble though:

We used computer-generated simulations to get this research result,” Powell cautioned.

Let me know how that worked out for you.

Wyatt had a post that made me look for funny air traffic controller stories and I found this page with a bunch of new ones.

There are the ones you might have seen on an email on the right sidebar, but the main part of the page has stories this guy knows.

Unknown Aircraft: “Hello?..”
Easterwood Tower (me): “Please say again.”
UA: “What?”
ET: “Who is this?”
UA: “This is Joe”
ET: “This is Easterwood Tower, where are you?”
UA: “I’m in the plane!”
(I looked down the flight line, checking if someone was sitting in a parked plane playing with the radio. I didn’t see anything, and the senior controller was becoming more interested in my handling of the situation.)
ET: “Joe, where is the pilot?”
UA: “He got out when the engine quit..”
(I could only imagine a bizarre scenario in which the pilot had jumped from the plane.)
ET: “Joe, what does your airspeed indicator read?”
UA: (Long pause) “Zero?”
(So the plane was now in a stall I thought.)
ET: “Joe, whatever you have in front of you – a stick or a steering wheel – push it forward – you need to get airspeed over your wings!”
UA: “Are you sure?”
ET: “Yes Joe you need to push it forward… (pause)… What does your airspeed indicator read now?”
UA: “It’s still zero.”
(I thought, oh my god, Joe’s plane was in a falling leaf spin. I couldn’t help him. Joe was going to die. I did not know what to do. I looked to the senior controller. He said, “Ask him where his plane is.”)
ET: “Joe, where is your plane?”
UA: “We are parked down at the end of the runway, the pilot got out when the engine quit and walked back to the hanger..”
ET: “Joe, get off the radio.”

Okay, that’s funny.  I can picture the poor air traffic controller thinking he’s talking to a dead man.

This one slayed me even though you can see it coming.

The late Captain Mickey Munn – an all-round fine fellow, highly experienced pilot and, at the time, Sergeant in the Red Devils (UK Parachute Regiment display team) – was piloting a Britten Norman Islander to jumping altitude with a full load of hairy-arsed paras crammed into the rear of the aircraft. With no warning at all, a bang and a flash of flame, the port engine blew itself to pieces. Mickey’s hands flashed around the cockpit as he brought the aircraft under control. As soon as the aircraft was straight and level he turned to his passengers and said: “Phew. I think you chaps should…” But his words tailed away as he gaped at the empty passenger cabin.

See ya, wouldn’t want to be ya.

One more

And (another) hoary old chestnut: QANTAS pilot to copilot landing at Sydney, forgetting the cabin intercom was live:

“What I need now is a cold beer and a hot shiela”
Stewardess hurries forward lest worse befall.
Chorus of passengers “Hey, you forgot the beer!”

There are a bunch, none are bad, some are fucking hilarious. Look at the “Technical problem/remedial action” chart at the bottom.

Technical problem                                                                                    remedial action

Dead bugs on windshield.                                                                     Live bugs on back order.

I have some great bookmarks on this computer that I haven’t clicked in years.

I think I’ve posted this before, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t post it again.