Archive for the ‘Ewww – taste this!’ Category

Reality: Illegal immigrants have the right (!) to transgender hormone replacement IN PRISON.

Satire: Male citizens should have government sex dolls.


Frankly, when I wrote that humor bit, I was trying to be as absurd as possible.  I think reality has me beat.

Unless this….

Dick Clark

… involves this…


I’m not interested.

Little help here from the lawyery types…

In philosophy, there’s a moral principle that “ought implies can“.  Put otherwise, it means that in order for some action to be obligatory, it must be possible for the agent to perform that act.

Is there a similar principle in law?  If the Congress enacted a law requiring the executive to provide a free unicorn to each citizen (or some non-zero subset of citizens), could that law be considered Constitutional?  Clearly it is impossible.  Wouldn’t impossibility imply unconstitutionality?

Similarly, Obama’s defense of his endless improvisations that substantially alter the law seems to be that the law is impossible to implement.

I hope you can see where I’m going with this.

Any such principle, law nerds?


Posted: December 21, 2013 by socklessjoe in Ewww - taste this!, Liberal Fascism, News, Op/Sped, Queerblogging

The dust-up over a certain reality TV personality’s recent comments about sexual mores reminded me of something that has irritated me for some time about the Celebrate Diversity crowd, and a minor revelation I once had while watching a Will and Grace re-run.

But first, a minor detour. Back in 2002, not too long after college, I was living in the DC area working in what I would consider my first “real” job — something that didn’t involve bussing restaurant tables or making inordinate amounts of photocopies. Rather suddenly, I found myself in need of a new place to live. I ended up finding an ad for a cheap, metro-accessible place. The ad said “gay friendly”. Hmmm, not my ideal choice. But I needed new digs pronto, and it was cheap! As it turns out, it was three gay dudes living in a house, and I was the odd straight guy. Little wonder that I ended up watching a re-run of Will and Grace.


Two totally different movies, both just happening to revolve around some apocalyptic scenario.

“This is the End” was very disappointing.  I mean, I knew it was going to be dumb — that was the premise.  But it was idiotic, and not particularly funny, unless you find the consumption of copious amounts of drugs to be inherently funny.

I mean, there are stoner flicks, where people get high and do dumb things have wacky adventures, and there are movies where drugs are part of the main plot, and there are movies where there is incidental drug use that’s about setting and character development, and of course, some overlap among those three categories. But the first, I dunno, twenty minutes or so of this film is basically and ode to recreational drugs, first and foremost weed, to little apparent cinematic end.  Ok, coked-out Michael Cera was mildly amusing.

Seth Rogen smokes weed? You don’t say…

Anyway, the movie has its moments, but most of those were in the trailer.  I give it a 3 on a 10-scale.

“World War Z” was about a 6.5 on a 10-scale.  Disclaimer: I have had no exposure to the source material.  As a basic horror film it was a little light on the gore.  There is very little character development of anybody other than Brad Pitt, and not much there either.

The IDF chick is sorta cute despite the GI-Jane haircut.  She sticks with Pitt longer than anybody else during his adventures, but we never really learn anything about her either.

Zombie films need to be either about (1) the interaction of the survivors, (2) the development of some sort of Christ-figure capable of saving everybody, or (3) pure gore and terror.  WW-Z was light on all three.

To the extent that WW-Z was at all terrifying, it was through the use of not just fast-zombies, but crystal-meth fast zombies in the opening scene.  I mean, it was practically a river of zekes flowing through the streets of Philadelphia.  When you start questioning the plausibility of the zombie apocalypse scenario in a zombie film, that’s not exactly starting out on the right foot.

The end was anticlimactic.  I suppose in this sense they were probably bound by the source material, but I really couldn’t know that for sure.  If you like zombie movies, go see it, but if you’re on the fence about this one, just go ahead and skip it.

Anybody see Man of Steel?

All I can say is…

Posted: May 15, 2013 by doubleplusundead in Ewww - taste this!

If you guys are following the Kitchen Nightmares/ Amy’s Bakery epic meltdown,


This. Is. EPIC.

Presented without context

Posted: May 4, 2013 by Sean M. in Ewww - taste this!, Random Crap

The pods, which covered her gums, tongue and cheek, were filled with an ejaculatory apparatus and sperm, with the apparatus discharging the sperm very forcefully.


There are a lot of problems I have with Joe Scarborough.  The biggest ones are not just disagreements of policy, but his smarmy insistence that he’s the lone Voice of Reason for conservatism.

Scarborough tweeted his particular pride in a segment where he insults Wayne LaPierre and anybody who dares agree with him. Please take a few minutes to watch it.

Some lowlights from the segment:

  • Accused LaPierre of “racial overtones” when referring to walking through South Brooklyn after dark during Superstorm Sandy, and for mentioning Latin American drug gangs.
  • Accused the NRA of being mouthpieces for gun manufacturers, and not sincerely representing NRA membership.

Bite me, Joe.  Let’s see you stroll through Brooklyn during a blackout while lugging a couple bags of groceries.  (And who said it was a white guy walking through Brooklyn? Black folks can’t carry for self-defense??)  Ever heard of Mara Salvatrucha?  Worldwide, they’re seventy-thousand strong, and that’s just one gang.  Have you been to Mexico lately, Joe?  Wanna take your kids?  Ever heard of Fast and…, well, never mind — you probably haven’t given who you work for.

And yes, a lot of us are frightened.  We think the freight train we’re on could very well go over the cliff.  We’re all the more frightened that your pals are not only flushing the USA down the shitter, but trying to take away people’s only recourse for survival should that come to pass.

Look at the debt, Joe.  Look at the debt-to-GDP ratio.  Then look at Greece’s.  Then consider that the USA is a lot more important than Greece.

Now consider President “We don’t have a spending problem” Obama, and the fact that our idiot brethren re-elected him.

Are we not boned?

And if you want to quote Reagan, Joe, I’ve got one for ya: Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction.

Round the Tubes, stealing from S. Weasel edition.

So the Sun is still messing with solar scientists. A sunspot unleashed another solar flare they’re all excited about, but this is the part I’m talking about, I’ve read this same sentence  or one like it in a bunch of articles about the Sun over the last 10 years.

This could be the sunspot that breaks the recent lengthy spell of calm space weather around our planet.”


And still the Sun keeps not being as active as they’re used to.


This is a couple days old, but still darn funny. Drudge put pictures of Stalin and Hitler next to the story about Obama trying to take my guns, our fine journalistic betters were appropriately OUTRAGED!!!!!, apparently, comparing POTUS to Hitler is verboten.

Chimpy McBusHitler was unavailable for comment.

Funny site of the day. Yes, DPUD is linking “”, why?

Dear Dianne,

I do not need to be told by a politician or a lawyer what the meaning liberty is…

What do you really think you are going to get by attempting to disarm the American Public? I hope that peace is possible but I Promise you that there are many in this country who will uphold their oath to defend the constitution from all enemies both foreign and domestic.

Try it! Lets see what happens


I look forward to Feinstein trying to strong arm them into giving up the domain.

Now on to just giving the blog to S. Weasel.

Here we have people who go to the Thames to look for stuff that people have been throwing in the Thames for hundreds of years. They find all manner of stuff, some from last week and some from Romans.

Notice, however, how unfree they are. Quoth Stoaty

To metal detect along the Thames, you need a license from the Port of London Authority…. There are only about fifty people with a license at the moment.

Imagine that, you can’t use a metal detector without a permit. WTF??????????


She was on a Doom kick, not the new-normal, WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! doom, but the video game.

Doom comic!!!!

As Stoaty says,

What do you do for dialogue when your plot consists of some guy running at full tilt through a building shooting stuff? Well, these folks decided to go with Doom Guy’s stream of consciousness.

…quote from comic deleted…
This is something between Ripley’s hissed version of You Are My Lucky Star while she shoots the alien out the airlock, and that dog who REALLY fucking wants him some Kibbles ‘n’ Bits.


That’s exactly what it’s like.

And now for a word from our sponsor.


S. Weasel’s fine line of “Let It Burn” merchandise.

Have fun everybody, and remember, Doom!


No, we’re not EUnuchstan-fucked, but we’re pretty well fucked.

Obama has no checks on his power anymore. He didn’t really have many, with the spineless fucking cowards we have in the fucking GOP “Leadership” (calling them “leaders” makes fun of everyone who ever led anything, including the leader of a gang of “stealing candy from babies” types) and with the media hiding his every law-breaking and even murderous act.

The GOP assured us Romney was fucking electable. Turns out, he got a lower percentage of Mormon votes than fucking Bush. 2% switched from GOP to Dem. (via Ace’s sidebar). Fewer fucking Mormons. Fewer Catholics, the people who are so happy about their Church being forced to pay for fucking abortions, thereby damning their (the Church’s hierarchy’s) souls to Hell.

Fuck the GOP. Not another penny, not another anything from me. They shit on the Tea Party because their buddies in Minitrue don’t like us and because we’re trying to decrease the power of the gov’t, their fucking power in other words.

Look at the asshole in Mass, the Tea Party got him elected and he immediately started acting like a fucking leftist asshole and lost to that stupid fucking moron who can’t string two words together without sounding like a moron or a commie (usually both). Do you think the Fucking GOP “Leadership” will learn anything by that? Not just “No”, not just “NO!” but “Fucking no fucking way!” Boehner is talking raising taxes and amnesty already. Fuck.

The GOP refuses to fucking learn that they can’t win fucking elections by being Dem Lite. They need to present a difference.

Fucking Romney didn’t want to bring up Benghazi because he was afraid Minitrue was going to call him a meanie.

Well guess what you stupid, fucking, idiotic, asshole, they called you a meanie anyfuckingway.

When are you stupid, fucking, fucking, idiotic, assholes going to learn you will never win when you play by the rules of your fucking enemies? I know they’re your opponents, but they see themselves as your fucking enemies. You idiots are more the enemy than fucking terrorists who would happily kill them all. No, that’s wrong. You’re the fucking enemies, the terrorist assholes who want to murder them all are their buddies, you stupid, fucking, ignorant, obtuse, refuse-to-learn-anything, assholic, douchebagiferous, jackasses.

Seriously, you stupid, ignorant, obtuse, unable-to-fucking-learn jackasses need to fucking understand the roles you’re playing are designed by people who hate you, want you to lose and have no scruples, conscience or qualms about outright lying to defeat you. Don’t fucking play by their rules. Heads they win, tails you idjits lose, on end is a tie and ties go to the Dems.
If you assholes want power, then play to your base. Us you stupid, fucking assholes.

We’re not the frothing at the mouth, ignorant racists you seem to think we are. While we do froth, it’s because watching your stupidity decade after fucking decade while being condescended at by a pack of stupid, fucking, obtuse, idiotic, moronic losers every fucking day gets fucking annoying as all fuck.

We’re a lot fucking smarter than any of you assholes. All you assholes have is nice hair and the ability to convincingly tell people what they want to hear. No matter how many of your loser-boy flunkies tell you you’re smart, you’re not. The lot of you have as much brains as Biden’s hair-plugs.
There is little or no difference between the GOP leadership and the Dems. Romneycare, Obamacare, what’s the fucking difference?

Fuck em all.

I lost faith in Americans in 1996 so the last election wasn’t much of a fucking surprise, people want to believe happy horseshit, it helps them avoid facing reality or admitting they’ve allowed themselves to be had.

There is no such thing as an “Independent”, that’s a bullshit lie perpetrated by people who like to think they’re smart. “Independents” are people who pay attention to politics for about 3-5 days before an election and when they see two people saying, “Liar” at each other just say, “Oh, there they go again” without ever even trying to figure out if maybe one of them is lying.

I have had numerous conversations with people who say some form of “Well, you choose what you want to believe, I choose what I want.”

No, you figure out who to believe. Take fucking responsibility for yourself. When one person says the sky is blue and the other says it’s purple, look the fuck up and figure it out. Don’t go along with the asshole who says “purple” because you like his hair and you like purple.

Eh, it doesn’t matter. We’re fucked. I’m not saying America will disappear tomorrow, I’m saying we’re fucked and the conditions for that loss of America are getting worse and worse.

I am thinking that Heinlein was a smart guy. While he got technological advances wrong at every turn, he always, always, always got people right.

He fucked up in one big particular. He was used to America being Christian, even hippies back then were into Jesus (recall the song “Convoy” if you dare, recall the line, “And a couple of long-haired friends of Jesus“).

But If you add Fosterites in Stranger in a Strange Land to Nehemiah Scudder and stir in modern sensibilites, well, the new religion that might be made mandatory is Leftism/Global Warmmongering and we’ve just elected Nehemiah Scudder in 2012. Right on schedule.

I’m wondering if I should change my name to Zebediah Jones.