Archive for the ‘Ewww – taste this!’ Category

Presented without context:

Valle talked about the mechanics of fitting a woman’s body into an oven

This guy looks surprisingly like Jessica Ridgeway’s alleged murderer, which makes me wonder if we’re starting to see the first tick-tick-tickings of a genetic time bomb that’s going to blow and cause the Mayan end of the world.  At least I live not too far from the Denver Airport, I can go hide in the catacombs in the basement since it was set up to protect us during the coming of the New World Order.

This post is tmi3rd’s fault.  He also pointed out that they both vaguely resemble Justin Bieber, which confirms my suspicions about the end of the world nearing.

I have moved on from Russian pop music (at least for tonight) to German pop music and thought I would broaden your cultural horizons while I am at it:

Novaspace – Beds are Burning

Run to You

I can’t wait for the entire left coast to collectively start praying to the porcelain god thanks to their hatred of plastic bags.  Maybe they’ll come to their senses and realize that, like injection drug needles and latex gloves, some things are better left disposed after pathogens have leaked/sprayed all over them.

I considered posting a video of some slow-motion vomiting but I decided to save that for when I’m posting about Obama.

Updated to add: bestest irony ever is in one of the linked stories:

“You could wash the bag,” Schaffner said. “Or you could start over with a new bag.

iTampon v2

Posted: January 25, 2012 by aliceaitch in Ewww - taste this!, Geektasticity

Fleshlight is making a cover for your iPad.  A vagina cover.  Which I’m sure will shortly become a sloppy vagina cover for your iPad.

I’d include pictures but they’re graphic enough that they might even overstep the bounds of what we post on this blog.  Censored images are available at Gizmodo, or you can click right through to the raunchy stuff at TVMiller.

At least it doesn’t have hair – that would be hard to clean. But it does make it look like something Pedobear would appreciate.

Long story short: “Suck my Koch, Patty.”

Is there such a thing as a schadenboner? I think there is, because I seem to have one right now, and I’ve gotta say that it’s ginormous.

(Sorry for all the sophomoric humor, but it’s late and I’m not exactly getting paid for this stuff.)


Fuck you, Chuck Adkins. Fuck you, k8cpa. Fuck you, Paleo Pat. Fuck you, “hardliner”. Fuck you, “biblejunky”. Fuck you, {random internet moniker this fuckjunkie uses}. Fuck your racism. Fuck your anti-Semitism. Aliyahfuck your Stormfront fascination with your jizzed over Ron Paul bullshit. Loserfuck you up your fat, shut in ass with the avenging fuckangels assigned to guard Mike at Cold fury’s wife for what you said about her. Fuck you for being unemployed and a fat loser. And fuck your pussy ass cowardice because you fucking came onto our property, shat on our carpet, and then ran away when the heat turned up on you.

You talk tough, but hide when countered? Dreidelfuck you with a gefilte fish. You think you are so cool, yet you haven’t had a job since 2005? Rainbowfuck you with Dr. King’s Dream. And you think nobody would notice your racism and vileness and not let it go unabated? Then brainfuck you with the flying fuckknuckle of knowledge.

No, Charles Patrick Adkins, racist asshat, you thought you could get away with stirring up your shit. You thought you could win with your “Master Race” mindset. And you thought we wouldn’t make you as famous as your failed attempt at internet awesomeness would allow? Then not only are you a fat, unemployed racist fucktard, but you are stupid as well.

So fuck you, Chuck Adkins. Fuck you until you get a clue, then fuck you some more. Go to hell, and get the Jodie Foster on the pinball machine treatment by whatever is down there.

And then there is this 40 tons of stupid flimfuckery jammed into an envelope and mailed to the Loony Bin.

Holy fucking the turkey with a fuckdonut tied around its taint! Is this lady really this stupid? Is she really this fawning? Is she really this willing to shed any semblance of balance and common sense to cover up for Barry? And is this how ridiculous the media will get in order to protect and defend the O-12 campaign from any and all gaffes and stupidity (those which will slip through their Praetorian Wall around the Sun Prez)?

It’s not that Obama can’t speak clearly. It’s that he employs the intellectual stammer {?!?!? Making up new shit on the fly, I see-ed}. Not to be confused with a stutter, which the president decidedly does not have, the intellectual stammer signals a brain that is moving so fast that the mouth can’t keep up {If what his mouth and brain have produced so far is “intellectual”, I’ll reconsider my higher education credentials-ed}. The stammer is commonly found among university professors, characters in Woody Allen movies and public thinkers of the sort that might appear on C-SPAN but not CNN {soo…fools, dickheads, assholes, pedophiles, and boring ass dipshits share this trait? Good to know-ed}. If you’re a member or a fan of that subset {no, I am a fan of hot chicks licking each other in naughty places. But go on-ed}, chances are the president’s stammer doesn’t bother you {probably because you are paid to defend such nonesense, I might assume-ed}; in fact, you might even love him for it {and yet, most of his supporters now are semi-literate welfare mooches who can’t piece a sentence together if you spotted them the noun, verb, and punctuation mark, and who think Obama would pay their gas for them-ed} (he sounds just like your grad school roommate, especially when he drank too much Scotch whisky and attempted to expound on the Hegelian dialectic {ahh..a failed dialectic, I might add. No wonder leftist bores love him-ed}!).

If you’re not, chances are you find yourself yelling, “Get to the point already!” at the television screen every time Obama’s search for the right word seems to last longer than the search for Osama bin Laden. And thanks to its echoes of the college lecture hall, you may think it comes across as ever so slightly (or more than slightly) left wing {no. He is trying to cover his true beliefs, which makes evry fucking thing he says and thinks come across as left wing. But what do I know? I don’t stammer-ed}.

Fuck you, leftist fool! Failfuck your stupidily fucked up parablepsis with the pulsing fuckpole of pedagoguery until you fucking catch a clue in your brain before it dies of loneliness. Fuck you for pushing a pile of lies and stupidity on us, and then telling us we are the stupid ones for calling bullshit on it. And fuck you because I just cannot stand shills who have no sense of reality or decency as you crawl on the floor as if you were once again looking for your Stupidpipe left at the Dumbfuck Houseparty looking for spin and a meme to establish, rather than defending policies that have failed.

Yeesh. This is what we will face next year. Be warned.

I totally saw a motorcycle with SHART as the plate number yesterday…

…just sayin’

What better way to have one’s profession taken seriously than to perform a rap about it?

(Via FastCompany)

Sorta reminded me of this:

It’s really not that impressive that you’re “peer reviewed” when climate scientists have made a mockery of the peer review process.  And it doesn’t help either that Penn State swept the Mann scandal under the rug either.

Also, you know who else isn’t a climate scientist? Al Gore.  But instead of mainstream ridicule for an unscientific, hyperbolic, and alarmist PowerPoint presentation, old Al got an Academy Award and a Nobel Prize.  Funny how that works.

And of course, it’s not just that folks doubt the idea of climate change — although your fellow climate scientists seem to love giving them reasons to — but there’s a whole chain of logic between “climate change is real” to “we need government to impose wind farms, solar panels, and carbon cap & trade” that few ever examine. You have to answer “yes” to ALL of the following questions:

  • Is global warming happening?
  • Is global warming mostly (or at least significantly) caused by human factors, and not others such as solar cycles?
  • Is the amount of global warming that is likely to occur meaningfully detrimental to civilization?
  • Is it is within our collective abilities to meaningfully halt or reverse global warming?
  • On balance, do the benefits associated with mitigating global warming outweigh the costs?
  • Are any of the proposed taxes, regulations, or treaties that have thus far been proposed capable of accomplishing their environmental goals?
  • Could any sufficiently effective public policy be successfully adopted by enough of the world’s population to work?

It’s pretty plain to me, as a trained political scientist (–see what I did there?–) the answer to the last two questions is a resounding “hell, no”.

From the article:

Jason Evans, one of the featured rhyming professors, concurs: “Most of the people talking about climate change in the media actually know little about it (often happily admitting they are not climate scientists). Yet their opinions are given at least as much, if not more, weight than that of actual climate scientists. I can’t think of another branch of science where this is true.”

Actually, I can think of one — Nutrition and diet science.  I’m sure others can think of more.

Fuck you. Hortleifuck you as if you were a hollowed out nerf football used by a confused teenager coming of age. Fuck you for sitting on that couch with Pelosi. Fuck you for your arrogance. Fuck you for your stupidity. Fuck you for criticizing someone who has a plan that doesn’t involve skittles and rainbowed goatse while you sat around cheating on your wives. And fuck you because you seem determined to fuck everything up.