Archive for the ‘FAIL’ Category

The Marriage is Over, Let’s Have That Divorce

Posted: November 2, 2022 by socklessjoe in Bipartisan FAIL, FAIL, Fun with Elections, Fun With Media, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Government FAIL, Lame, Liberal Fascism, Not So Funny End Of Civilization, Notes on the Revolution, We're boned, Why I Hate People, You'll pry 'em from my cold dead hands, Zombies!
1

When couples get a divorce, it’s often said that the marriage ended long before they signed the divorce papers. Our national marriage is in that state – our Constitution is not operative, and nobody can even conceive of a realistic plan to bring it back.

I’ve been putting this off for ages, but wanted to spit something out before the election so as to avoid having this appear like a reaction to said election. Besides, my position doesn’t depend on whether there’s a Red Wave or not, or whether Pennsylvanians send a Bernie-bro with the cognitive capacity of a baked potato to the Senate. While I certainly have preferences in next week’s election and will be voting accordingly*, it ultimately doesn’t matter a lot in the long run who wins because the republic doesn’t exist anymore.

The bureaucracies are sovereign. The voters and our representatives are not institutionally capable of reining them in. The IRS leaks tax data for blatantly political purposes without so much as an “oops!” and harasses political undesirables at will with no consequences. The FBA/CIA/NSA run nonstop domestic election interference via both legacy media and new media while ignoring left wing riots (that were probably instigated by the FBI), clinic firebombings, assassination attempts, etc. Endless lawfare harassment against bakers and photographers who dare to hold traditional values, and by “traditional” I mean “widely held as of about five minutes ago”.

They do this right in front of our faces. It’s more effective for them to do it right in front of you so that understand exactly how screwed you are. Your Congress-critters, should they oppose this (-and many don’t), are utterly powerless to stop it. You, the voter, are utterly powerless to stop it.

You think it’s maybe not a great idea to have public school teachers hide your child’s gender transition from you? You think that maybe elections should be secure, and that voting should be a discrete event rather than a month-long scramble to produce passable ballots? You think that laws mean anything? What are you, some kind of terrorist?

I’m not sure if it’s more funny or sad when folks on the right try to espouse federalism/decentralization/ subsidiarity as the solution to our national disunity. It’s not funny/sad because they are bad concepts. Far from it. It’s funny/sad because their hope for restoration of the Constitution is like Kanye West asking Kim to come home. The left has no interest in allowing conclaves of right-leaning folks to do as they please.

Sorry fellas, the Constitution is out having sex with Pete Davidson right now, and I don’t think it wants to come home.

Time to draw up the divorce papers.

*(Yes I will be voting for the snake oil salesman from New Jersey.)

‘Rona Realpolitik

Posted: April 19, 2020 by socklessjoe in FAIL, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Government FAIL, Nanny State, News, Not So Funny End Of Civilization, We're boned, WTF is normal with NYC, WTF Is Wrong With PA
11

As with so many crises, the ‘rona has brought out both the best and the worst in people. But mostly the worst.

Like many others, I’m going a little stir-crazy under our “shelter in place” directive. Most of us understand that such directives are to a large extent necessary. But more than a few mayors and state governors have gotten carried away with their newfound emergency powers, and they’ve forgotten that they’re governing actual people. Ornery, independent, American people.

There’s a natural distribution to the level of inconvenience people are willing to put up with. Some will put up with virtually nothing. Most, it seems, will tolerate quite a bit of inconvenience… for a time. But every individual has their breaking point, and the longer the restrictions go on, the more people are going to be agitated. The less the impositions seem to have any rational basis, the less the people are going to tolerate much of anything. And then all hell will break loose.

The slow-roll of increasingly arbitrary guidance and restrictions has been most maddening.

Don’t wear a mask, it will only hurt. Wear a mask if you want. You should probably wear a mask. You must wear a mask in public in order to enter a store and buy anything.

Stay active, maybe go for a walk. But don’t go to a park. Or a beach. And maybe you can kayak in some states, but don’t go motorboating.

Liquor stores in PA were closed, but beer distributors are essential.

Stay in your Detroit-metro homes in the densely-populated hotspot, and don’t drive yourself out to your second home where you can safely hole-up for a while.

Lowe’s can stay open, but your locally-owned gardening center can’t. Or maybe you can go to a store that sells gardening supplies, but those seeds you wanted were roped off because the items are deemed “non-essential”.

In a moment of absolute absurdity in a universe where cancer biopsies are elective and therefore banned, Governor Whitmer defended the continued allowance of abortion services as “life sustaining”. Now, there’s a constitutional argument to be made about keeping abortion services available — it’s a constitutionally protected right that is time sensitive — but to be so tone deaf as to call abortion “life sustaining” is rather galling when, at least for a time, Michiganders were prevented from buying child car seats.

Accommodations must be made. Open the damned garden centers, and don’t rope anything off in a store that has so-far been deemed essential. Allow hairdressers and barbers to open by appointment only and with adequate sanitation efforts. Don’t make impossible demands of small businesses about open space in their employee break areas that aren’t exactly expandable at the government’s whim.
Governors and mayors are not going to be able to sustain adequate preventive measures if they act like petty dictators and deprive people of some modicum of normalcy. The longer the restrictions are in place, the more arbitrary the restrictions, and the more disruptive to normal life, the more turmoil governments are inviting for themselves. The natives are getting restless.

A total lack of self-preservation

Posted: November 16, 2016 by aliceaitch in FAIL, WTF Is Wrong With Oklahoma
1

387f8df7b12799e7a95f45756115af41

Don’t shoot the medics, guys. They’re there to help you, they don’t give a rat’s ass about what you did to get in your situation unless it’s diagnostically relevant.

Thank God this idjit didn’t know to take the safety off his gun. Assaulting an EMS provider is a felony in Oklahoma. Pointing a firearm at a person is a misdemeanor, but may be prosecuted as a felony.

Never Say #NeverTrump

Posted: November 6, 2016 by socklessjoe in Bipartisan FAIL, Conservatism, Democratic morality, FAIL, Lame, Liberal Fascism, Not So Funny End Of Civilization, Notes on the Revolution, Obama's Fault, The "Justice" Dept., Trump, We're boned, Why I Hate People
4

Donald Trump is a despicable human being. He’s not a conservative. His policies, to the extent that they have any consistency, stand no chance making America great again. I would not trust him alone in a room with any woman I cared about.

And yet, I am voting for Trump. Simply put, a Hillary Clinton presidency would signify the end of the republic as we know it.

This sort of talk gets dismissed as hyperbolic. I can understand why. Surely similar things were said of Reagan, Bill Clinton, Dubya, Obama, and probably most previous Presidents going all the way back. But I don’t think the negativity around this election can be dismissed as bombast. Things have fundamentally changed in America.

(more…)

Are You Ready For Some Futurama?

Posted: September 18, 2016 by veeshir in FAIL, L.L.A.P.H., Liberal Fascism, Notes on the Revolution
2

Graphic Added! I forgot it when I hit publish!

mcmahon 2

The Eagles, who were named for the symbol of Roosevelt’s New Deal, are planning a Black Lives Matter Protest tomorrow night.

For me, it has nothing to do with this country or the flag or the anthem in itself,” Jenkins said. “Really, it’s just to continue to push for the conversation about social injustice.

So why are you shitting on our National Anthem?

So what does the coach of the Eagles think about that?

Jenkins said that coach Doug Pederson is aware of the plan, and that he is “OK” with it.

So what does the NFL think about that?

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell says the league will encourage players to use their voice to promote social change as the demonstrations during the national anthem started by San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick last month continue to spread to other teams. (emphasis me V)…

“As I’ve said before, I truly respect our players wanting to speak out and change the community,” Goodell said. “We don’t live in a perfect society. We want them to use that voice

Oh. but when someone spoke out, on his own time and not during a football game, how did the NFL feel about free speech?

That would be like Hitler playing golf with (Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin) Netanyahu,” Williams said…

“While Hank Williams Jr. is not an ESPN employee, we recognize that he is closely linked to our company through the open to Monday Night Football,” it said. “We are extremely disappointed with his comments, and as a result we have decided to pull the open from tonight’s telecast.”

Hank Williams decided to defend himself. CNN was On The Job!!!!!

 When one of the Fox News’ interviewers pointed out that Williams invoked “one of the most hated people in all of the world to describe … the president,”…

No remorse was evident in Williams’ latest song, titled “Keep the Change” — an apparent dig at Obama’s 2008 campaign promise to bring change to Washington…

 

Totally not related, from a CNN newsreader

“But while a lookalike showed up with a wad of cash, Mr. Bush did not.”

She referenced the following paper-mache mask of President Bush with a Hitler haircut and mustache:

 

bushhitler2
Free Speech, like inclusion, is only for some people.

 

Eh, I’ll watch some Futurama and I just got the last two books of Stirling’s Change series and the evenings are really cooling off so when the Sun sets, I’ll go outside to read.

Is anybody else reading the Change series?

The first three, Dies the Fire, The Protector’s War and A Meeting at Corvallis, were great.

Then, the next generation took over, where God and gods took a bigger role, and those books were up and down, some were very good some were pretty good. None were bad.

Halfway through The Given Sacrifice, the next generation took over. It was okay. Then, the Golden Princess was very good. That was one of those books you regret ending.

I just got the Desert and the Blade and Prince of Outcasts. If you’re still liking the series, you might not want to read the next part.

I read the Desert and the Blade. Man, what a slog, it took me 3 or 4 days, which is ridiculously long for me to read a fiction book. I’d read it for less than 1/2 hour and put it down, then pick it up later and read it for 1/2 hours then…

I’ll re-read all the other ones in a day or at most two, unless I’m working full time and then it might take me 3 days.

It was 860 or so pages but it could have been about 600 if he hadn’t described every part of every meal and down to maybe 400 if he hadn’t described, in detail, Dunedain flets, the differing ‘garb’ of every community, the fields, railroads and woods, which he had described fully in previous books. At least he made it a whole book without using the word “Bannock”. I totally got sick of that in the previous 6 books. He couldn’t go 4 pages without using it.

Now if we could wean him of “clotted cream” I’d be much happier.

Seriously, it could have been 400+ pages without losing a thing except repeated, 2 or 3 page descriptions of Every. Course. Of. Every. Fucking. Meal and houses and places and people he’s already described, in great detail, in previous books. I found myself skipping whole pages, just skimming to see if he was still describing clotted cream on sweet barley cakes.

I’m about 1/4 through Prince of Outcasts and so far he hasn’t gone crazy over-describing things he’s already over-described, but if this book isn’t darn good I doubt I’ll keep reading. I might jump back in in a few years as I did with Honor Harrington.

I got sick of that series too, but I broke down and got the last two and they were pretty good again.

Links Of The Day

Posted: September 6, 2016 by veeshir in Democratic morality, FAIL, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Hotassery, Liberal FAIL, Moron of the Day, The "Justice" Dept., The Big Screen
0

Another Repost from 2/2013 because of some 30 year old hotassery. Jeez, I try to re-introduce an aging hottie to a new generation and what thanks do I get? Shut down. Sonomabatch.

 

Now, on to our post, which is still relevant. I’m not sure if that makes it fundy or fendy.

I moved the bits around to keep Chicago stuff next to each other. Not sure why I didn’t do that the first go around.

 

This is totally not a “round the tubes” post. I already did one of those today.

 

What with the problems in their global warmmongering, Penn State must have moved some global warmmongering ‘scientists’ over to their astronomy dept.

We all know the “Goldilocks Zone” (GZ) in astrogeometristics means the zone that’s ‘just right’ for life. In other words, the distance from a star where a planet could conceivably support life. We only know of one planet, currently, that supports life so we used to base the GZ on Earth’s orbit. That was the ignorant ‘before’, we’re in the glorious ‘now’ so we have super-genius global warmmongers on the job.

the Penn State team suggests… farther away planets into the fold of life-sustaining planets, a… it also kicks some planets out of the hunt for life as too hot — including, oddly enough, our very own Earth,

Brilliant! You’d think one of them might look at that and say, “Uh, guys…..” You’d be wrong.

So why do I say it’s global warmmongers? Besides the obvious I mean.

Clouds are just one factor that neither definition of the zone takes into account,

Neither do any global warmmongering models, and that’s why nothing they do is useful. They just can’t figure out how to model clouds (neither can I, but I admit it), so they just ignore them. It’s Ostrich Science.

Seriously, it always make me laugh to think of going back to 1970 and trying to explain 2013. The crackpots living in the mountains waiting for the Russkies to invade because the US gov’t invited them would think I was  a paranoid loon.

Speaking of which, assuming there are around 250 million adults in America, does anybody really think that there aren’t 249,999,999 people more fit for that job than Hagel? You know who this helps? That’s right, Joe Biden. He’s number 249,999,999. He’s coming up smelling like…not shit!

Updated 9/6/2016 Remember Hagel? Whodathunk his successor would be even more useless? How funny is it that nobody, and I mean nobody, thought that would be possible.

Now, back to 2/2013

FrnakJ would win “Quote of the Day if I let him in the contest, but I won’t cuz he’d win every day.

So lax gun laws in other states than Illinois cause gun violence in Chicago but not in the states with the lax gun laws.

Heh. He’s consistently made me laugh for 9 years. But don’t tell him. He’ll get a big head.

Okay, this is heartening. Chicago and Boston have always been uber-corrupt but well run. They both had the biggest necessity for any, effective, political machine, a top-down hierarchy where the top tries to make sure Teh Peepul are happy. As we’ve seen in Boston, that might crumbling in Chicago . The fall of the Kennedys and the $billions in Big Dig money made insurrection thinkable in Boston.

Now we see something funnier in Chicago.

How, in the city of Chicago where the Democrat Machine is so strong, could there be 17 Democrat candidates vying for one open seat? It could hardly be imagined under the iron rule of former Mayor Daley.

How indeed. What we’re seeing is people who want power, but think power means you tell people what to do and you know more than anybody else. Rahm doesn’t understand what it takes to run a political machine, it’s like a mafia family but with more guns.  Daley was raised and taught by his father who perfected Chicago’s political machine, and that was one of the most vicious but well run in the country.

The candidates run the gamut from completely clueless, yet dangerous in their ignorance to practiced Chicago pols like Alderman Beale and Robin Kelly,

Oh man am I rooting for the ignorantly dangerous. Chicago likes its politics and believes all the stupidities MSNBC spews out, let them actually live in that world. I picture people like Barbra Boxer or Maxine Waters, except even more stupid or they’d be in national politics instead of Chicago-city politics. They can pass a law mandating that all guns sold in Chicago have remote safeties that the police control or that they have smart bullets that don’t shoot people with police badges.

Chaos is the best outcome from stuff like that.

Updated 9/6/16

I’d just like to point out that the chaos I was expecting in Chicago is here and it’s politically driven.

Say what you want about the Daleys (really, say it. They were just less obvious about their feloniosity than Capone), but they knew how to run the crime family that is the Chicago-Dem Party, Rahm does not.

 

9/6/2016 Deleted part about funemployment that didn’t make sense at the time and really doesn’t make sense and I don’t feel like trying to make it make sense. Just more Minitrue nonsense to make their God-President look not like shit.

Now, back to 2/2013

This needs to be posted again, not because I like it, but because it’s so scarily true.

Just Fixin' It

Just Fixin’ It

9/6/2016 Not sure why they left Article V alone. It’s all obsolete and shit, now they just ignore it, the Dept. of “Justice” then ignores any court orders and then Obama gets John Roberts to say it’s OK. I guess Roberts answered Obama’s plea

Mr. Roberts! Tear Down This Wall!

Mr. Roberts! Tear Down This Wall!

Now, back to 2/2013

No links, just some uselessly late movie reviews.

9/6/2016 I took out most of the movies for the repost and added Hercules.

Hercules with The Rock. I love that movie. It actually could be the most historically correct Hercules movie ever. Seriously. I’d bet a dollar that this is how the legend started.

Bubba Ho Tep, one of Bruce Campbell’s finest. Elvis got sick of performing, traded with an impersonator but kept the right to take it back then lost the papers so now he’s in a cheap nursing home about to be killed by a mummy. If you need any other endorsement, Lemur King doesn’t like it.

And last but not least, the hockey strike was over like 2 weeks ago, why didn’t anybody tell me? Are the Islanders mathematically eliminated yet?

9/6/2016 again, sigh. Now the Islanders make it to the playoffs and revert to suckage when they get there. Not sure which is worse.

 

Deleted the Hottasery, so it’s Slim Pickens below.

(more…)

Don’t Get Stupid Kid

Posted: July 13, 2016 by veeshir in FAIL, Fun With Media, PEBKAC
1

This is why I stopped reading places like Gateway Pundit and Townhall.

Headline

New York Post: FBI Agents Tell Us Lynch and Clinton Struck a Deal on That Plane (bold me V)

From the NY Post article they link:

“FBI agents believe there was an inside deal put in place after the Loretta Lynch/Bill Clinton tarmac meeting,” said one source.(bold me V)

An accurate headline would read, “FBI agents tell Post they believe a deal was struck.”

But that wouldn’t bring the clicks. Most people would just say “Well duh” and click on an Upton gif.

I saw that article and was going to write about the fact that the Feds had to sign a non-disclosure statement

Sources said they had never heard of the “Case Briefing Acknowledgment” form being used before, although all agents must initially sign nondisclosure agreements to obtain security clearance.

“This is very, very unusual. I’ve never signed one, never circulated one to others,” said one retired FBI chief.

An FBI agent currently on the job admitted, “I have never heard of such a form. Sounds strange.”

Now that’s news. Invoking omerta is what you expect of Chicago machine thugs but still newsworthy as it’s, you know, true.

Making shit up is just lame.

They do that shit all the time and I got sick of being half-way through writing a post when I realized the linked article or the body of their article didn’t support the headline.

I just don’t like the dishonest click-bait Townhall and their ilk put out, it can make me look stupid if I trust them and it muddies the water on a good story (like here), but they get a shitload of clicks and that’s what matters.

Here at DPUD we have a different business model. We try to reduce readership and don’t sell advertising that slows your computer down to a crawl.

Old School!

On the plus side, it’s reduced how many sites I feel I should visit and lets me find new ones without spending all my time on the tubes.

 

Death Wish III was on yesterday. As soon as it was over, and I cleaned myself and my Wildey off, I started realizing that with DeBlasio in charge, someone in NYC might need a Wildey.

So I checked the site and what did I see?

Wildey’s Back!

The site was last updated 3/2016 and says, “Wildey’s Back!” instead of the old standby from Death Wish III, “Wildey’s Here!”. Previously, it was last updated 5/2009.

It’s now called  USA Firearms Corp-Wildey Guns instead of just Wildey guns.

They don’t have any pricing so it might be wishful thinking, but I have high hopes.

Hopefully, I’m not just high.

Just in case….

Ha ha ha howue b~aa ha wee!

Never I cried, never shall it ye get me alive

 

Sorry Sarah, I’m tapping out

Posted: January 19, 2016 by socklessjoe in Conservatism, FAIL, Fun with Elections, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP FAIL, Lame
Tags: ,
0

Given my lack of posting at all I hope I can be forgiven for double-posting on the Palin endorsement of Trump.

Consider me officially out of the Sarah Palin fan club. It’s been a long time coming, but here it is.

Up until yesterday you might have gotten me to be a Palin apologist.  She was treated poorly by McCain’s stooges, Steve Schmidt and Nicolle Wallace, who did not even remotely understand the great gift that they had squandered. This gave license (-as if they needed it) for the major media to crucify her.

When properly prepared, she could give a damn good speech.  Once upon a time even her off the cuff stuff wasn’t too bad.  Obama had in fact palled around with terrorists, namely Ayres. “Drill baby, drill” was not only right, but downright prescient.  In stark contrast to Obama and the progressive movement generally, she once displayed a healthy epistemological humility that folks like me appreciate in a politician — the kind of humility that keeps a person from trying to half-assedly socialize a fifth of the economy with some slap-dash legislation that nobody ever bothered to read.

Naturally, after her career as an office-holder was clearly over, she got lazy. I get it. I’m lazy too.  If I could be paid to crack-wise at CPAC with Big Gulp in hand I’d do it in a heartbeat.

But this Trump endorsement… dang.  I just can’t wrap my head around that one.

Encryption Genie Out of the Bottle

Posted: December 8, 2015 by socklessjoe in FAIL, Get Your Nose Out Of My, Liberal Fascism, Notes on the Revolution
0

Lately I’ve been hearing some gubmint hate against Google and Apple for giving their phones reasonably reliable self-destruct options and miscellaneous encryption.

Hate to break it to y’all, but the high-grade encryption genie is out of the bottle.  Some of the options are even free.

Google and Apple are merely offering accessibility of some modest degree of security such that if you happen to have your phone stolen your entire financial and/or personal life isn’t ruined.

I’m not exactly Mr. Privacy here, but the cost benefit analysis of forcing companies to give law enforcement back-doors is pretty poor.  Truly dangerous criminals will easily circumvent any back-door policy with readily available software.

Iraq; Jeb trips over himself

Posted: May 11, 2015 by socklessjoe in FAIL
1

Undoubtedly, Jeb was totally tone-deaf in his remarks about whether it was a good idea to invade Iraq.

But it was also a bullshit question.

The biggest thing we didn’t know at the time was how duplicitous the Democrats would be about the war, and the fact that the American people would lose interest.

As it turns out, there actually were WMDs and ties to Al Qaeda (-1- , -2- , -3-, for example).  It’s just that nobody seems to care.

Anybody wonder where Assad got some of his cool toys?

But back to Jeb, the options are (1) say that it wasn’t a good idea, (2) fight the fight.  Number 2 is rather difficult due to the fact that Rove/McClellan squandered their opportunity to set the record straight.  So you should probably go with number 1.

Older Entries