Archive for the ‘Fun with Elections’ Category

Wait a minute…

Posted: November 16, 2016 by aliceaitch in Filthy Hippies, Fun with Elections

i-as-told

Weren’t we led to believe there was a terrorist threat before and the day of the election? Instead we’ve got a bunch of whiny protesters, many of whom didn’t even bother to vote.

Denver’s students were still protesting as of Friday, but a little bird told me that they’d protest for any cause that stuck a sign in their hands and told them they could ditch school. Many of the protesters disappeared Friday around 4pm, and as far as I can tell things settled down over the weekend. There is almost no local coverage of the protests, and I’m not going downtown to check myself because I hate that the city smells like weed regardless of whether there are protests or not.

trumpsign

The local community college is offering counseling if you’re “distressed by either the vitriol of the campaign or the results”.

snowflake2

If I had time (meaning, I was a special snowflake student and not working a full-time job and raising a family) I might seek counseling because it’s terrifying to me that someone who would bully and intimidate the women her husband sexually assaulted and harassed could make it so close to the White House and it seems like none of the womyn on campus care.  I just might be able to milk a few free credit hours out of being betrayed by the local vagina squad.

In other words…if you’re so distressed by the vitriol of the campaign or the results that you must seek professional help, please GTFO of campus because you’re not even mature enough for community college.

Pre-Post-Election Post

Posted: November 7, 2016 by veeshir in Fun with Elections, We're boned

The worst part about the election being tomorrow? You know it won’t be over even then.

I figure the over/under is 30 days. It’ll either be over quick, like in a day or two, or it’ll go on for ever. If Hillary! loses, I could see her fighting it until after the inauguration.

The only thing I know is that today is the day to buy ammo. If Hillary! wins, and 2008 and 2012 are any hint, it’s gonna become a lot harder to find soon. If you think Hillary! is going to win, you might want to guy a few AR-15s to sell in a few months for 1000% markup.

 

 

archer-on-fbi

I can hear it in Archer’s voice. Which makes it funnier.

So before the post-election frenzy, let’s try to figure out what the hell the FBI did.

They leaked like a sieve but here we are on Monday, and nobody’s been arrested.

Were they trying to let us know exactly how corrupt the Dept of “Justice” is in the only way they could?

Was Comey trying to cover his ass?

Will someone be arrested tomorrow morning in NYC?

 

Bret Baier’s show is going to be the most interesting. If there’s anything going to happen it’ll be his show or O’Reilly’s tonight. I’d bet on Baier’s show. If nothing new shows up, I’m take back taking back most of the stuff I’ve said about Hillary!’s Bitches in the FBI.

 

Let’s look at some funny.

As Hillary! is bashing Trump for his potty-mouth, she invites a foul-mouthed rapper to an event, giving Trump the chance to say

‘I actually like Jay-Z. But you know, the language last night! Ohhh! Ooooh!’ Trump said in Tampa, Florida. ‘Maybe I’ll just try it. Should I use that language? Can you imagine if I said that?’

 

It’s not just that she’s so corrupt and dishonest, it’s that she knows far too much to ever learn anything. She’s functionally an idiot.

 

Judge Orders IRS To Stop Targeting Tea Party Groups!!!!!!!

With this fascistically hilarious aside,

It’s the latest blow to the tax agency, which is facing a separate order from a judge in Washington, D.C., to process a handful of other cases the agency had delayed.

Who’s gonna enforce all these orders? The “Justice” Dept? The Power Puff girls? Teletubbies? Pikachu?

 

Which leaves us with electing Trump.

There’s also legalizing weed on the ballot, so I have that going for me.

 

I’m not voting for him to reform the GOP or destroy the GOP, I’m doing so becauseI think that keeping Hillary! from continuing where Obama left off would be the worst thing that could happen to America.

I also want to destroy the We’re Better And Smarter Than You Party, both the Dem and the GOP wings. Especially the GOP wing that won a couple elections to stop Obama on illegal immigration and Obamadebaclecare, and immediately helped him. Trump by himself won’t be able to destroy them, but, hopefully, he will mess with them hard. Get them to start freaking out and maybe, must maybe, get them primaried out, if they’re in ‘safe’ districts.

I’m also voting because the GOP is already planning on some failure theater and threatening to HOLD HEARINGS!!!!!!!!!, I just don’t think I could take any more of that.

That’s why Trump.

 

Republican presidential candidate, businessman Donald Trump stands during the Fox Business Network Republican presidential debate at the North Charleston Coliseum, Thursday, Jan. 14, 2016, in North Charleston, S.C. (AP Photo/Chuck Burton)

 

Because nobody knows what the hell he’s going to do as POTUS.

 

Via Mike at Cold Fury, we see this lovely sentiment.

So, evolution brought us Ted Cruz. The job of the president is to uphold the Constitution, and Cruz could recite it forwards and backwards. Unlike Romney, he had the balls to stand up to anyone and seemed to thoroughly enjoy conflict. He was dumped for being too ugly and boring. This begot Trump. We went from a puritan virgin, to a virgin who can fight, to a dirty fighter on his third wife….

 

I’ve graphed the trajectory on that, the next step is not pretty.

RTWT, it’s like an eddiebear rant except without, alas, the fucksickles.

 

For those who wish this election would go on forever, have heart! Tomorrow is not the end, it’s just the beginning!

Especially if Trump wins. The Obama admin, Minitrue and the rest of our fine, tolerant, leftist friends would go absolutely batshit insane.

And that would be its own reward.

Well, Election Day is tomorrow and it really can’t come a moment too soon.

Oh, don’t get me wrong–I’m not looking forward to it. It’s going to suuuuuuuuuuck. But I just want the voting to be over.

Note that I said “the voting.” I point that out because the whole thing isn’t going to be over, even if one of the two candidates has a clear victory on Tuesday. No, the more fervent acolytes of the loser will be screaming bloody murder for years to come about cheating, rigging, dirty tricks, stabs-in-the-back, and the like. This is to say nothing of the possibility that one candidate mounts some sort of sore-loser legal challenge, like Gore did in 2000. We’ll be dealing with this shit for a long while.

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There’s a reason you’re not getting laid

Posted: November 3, 2016 by aliceaitch in Fun with Elections

Besides your neck beard, your malodorous breath, your dick cheese, and those long dirty fingernails that will never be allowed near any sensible lady’s bits.

The Cubs won last night and, except for all night rioting, nothing happened. I expected to wake up this morning at least to a rain of frogs.

Oh well, I guess I should do a post since We’re Not ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!! last night. I just hope it’s not a metaphor for the election, cuz Chicago epitomizes the Clintons, corrupt politicians.

 

I underestimated our fine betters, you can make this shit up.

Loretta Lynch, the highest law-enforcement person in the US, plead the 5th to avoid incriminating herself.

If it was in a book I would laugh, laugh, laugh. As it is, I laugh, cringe, laugh, cry.

 

Dept of “Justice” dude

The Justice (sic) Department official in charge of informing Congress about the newly reactivated Hillary Clinton email probe is a political appointee and former private-practice lawyer who kept Clinton Campaign Chairman John Podesta “out of jail,” lobbied for a tax cheat later pardoned by President Bill Clinton and led the effort to confirm Attorney General Loretta Lynch.

Peter Kadzik…

From Boardwalk Empire (a pretty good series)

 

Daugherty (Attorney General, like Lynch) introduces Nucky (Criminal, like Hillary!) to Thorogood (crooked insider Like Kadzik)…

Ginsburg explains that Thorogood will submit a motion to transfer the charges against Nucky to federal court…once the case is before a federal court the Department of Justice will intervene and drop the charges due to insufficient time and resources….

Thorogood’s motion to transfer the charges to federal court is successful. Daugherty answers a call from Nucky and observes that Nucky sounds happy. Nucky jokes about the joy of becoming a federal defendant.(Like Hillary! cackling about the joys of being a Clinton)

 

It’s funny, when people see stuff like this in a tv show, book or movie, they shake their heads and can’t figure out how people would fall for it. When they see the Clintons and/or Obama do it, they think I’m a partisan idiot for noticing it.

 

Yesterday we saw CBS, ABC and The Hill have doubleplusungood headlines about Hillary!, which was funny.

But even funnier is watching all the folks on TV, like on CNN, haz sad faces.

There have been few political meltdowns such as the ones being seen in real time now, thanks to Democrat Hillary Clinton’s woes with the FBI.

There’s James Carville turning into an exploding pumpkin on CNN on Monday. There’s Harry Reid threatening the FBI director with a violation of the 1939 Hatch Act….

And there is Ohio Gov. John Kasich who made a point of telling the media that he officially broke his pledge to support his party’s presidential nominee. He instead wrote in Arizona Sen. John McCain on his ballot. Top Kasich aide John Weaver was a staffer on McCain’s failed 2000 bid.

CNN then reported the Kasich story — and used three reporters to do so.

 

They’re still plugging along, trying to push the old hag over the finish line, but you can tell they’re pretty demoralized.

 

Most people paying attention know their betters are not going to allow Brexit to succeed if they can help it. I know I expect the ‘negotiations’ to take a decade or more (mostly more), but this is ballsy.

In a major blow for Britain’s government, the High Court ruled Thursday that the prime minister can’t trigger the U.K.’s exit from the European Union without approval from Parliament.

Their betters know so much better how they should live.

 

Let’s do some Headline Fun!
First, I’ll go for a typical, NY Times’ style headline fun.

Hillary eats soul… to boost

Hillary!’s getting desperate! Her drugs must not be working as well as hoped judging from this. I wonder if it’ll help.

 

I don’t have any reason to post this, except because the headline shows the Post stays in their comfort zone. Headline

Generic Viagra peddler accused of stiffing business partners

Heh.

It’s become pretty darn crazy out there.

First up, the Et Tu Minitrue? section.

Headline fun! from three Minitrue outlets in good standing. These are headlines you’d expect to see at Hannity dot com (if there is such a place).

Hillary Clinton Talks Donald Trump’s Treatment of Women, Doesn’t Dwell on Emails/ABC

To distract from email controversy, Clinton targets Trump’s record with women/CBS

If Dems will rig a debate for Clinton, what won’t they do to win?/ The Hill

Holy moly! That must be driving Hillary! crazy, having Minitrue turn on her. And I bet the Dem leadership ain’t very happy with her destroying their plausible deniability.

 

The pressure is getting to her. And probably all the drugs she has to take to stay upright aren’t helping either.

Hillary! getting upset that stupid Americans just refuse to realize she deserves to be POTUS.

Hillary Clinton raged Tuesday night against a protester at her rally who denounced her husband as a sexual predator.

About three minutes into her 20-minute stump speech, a heckler shouted, “Bill Clinton is a rapist!” as he waved a neon green sign declaring the same statement.

Clinton pointed a finger at the protester.

“I am sick and tired of the negative, dark, divisive, dangerous vision and the anger of people who support Donald Trump,” Clinton shouted at her Fort Lauderdale, Fla., rally.

Yup, she prefers negative, dark, divisive and dangerous anger at the people who support Trump.

Here we have Hillary! claiming to be in NYC on 9/11.

She was probably jogging with Chelsea.

 

This crazy is awesome.

Two men arrested last week in southern Georgia were planning to attack an aurora research facility owned by the University of Alaska Fairbanks around which conspiracy theories of mind control have long swirled, investigators said….

both men confessed “that God told them to go and blow this machine up that kept souls, so souls could be released.”

In their defense, the History Channel had a show where some some scientists said that could be where the Clintons keep the souls they collect.

Well, there or Oak Island but those two guys didn’t have a boat so….

 

This is somewhat cool, to me. YMMV.

Grim London is an interactive map of London with various things hauntings, murders, “just grim” and prostitution. Seriously. They list old ads for prostitutes that are pretty funny.

Harriet’s List of Covent Garden Ladies…. the pocket guide to London’s prostitutes….for just one guinea, a man could be enjoying the company of Mss Gr-n at…

Heh. I wish I knew what a guinea was. Is it more or less than a ‘quid’?

 

We are not afraid enough of the Japanese.

A new brand of chocolates manufactured by the Mme KIKI company will be hitting the shelves next year in Japan in the form of women’s nipples.,,

The CHOCONIP set of chocolates has been inspired by the Jison-in Temple…

The picture below shows the worshipping of nipples at the Jison-in Temple…

 

Seriously. I can’t figure out if that’s awesome, creepy or what.

 

It’s Game 7 of the World Series tonight.

Repent your sins. The end is nigh!

So what do you think, asteroid? Zombie virus? Obama declaring that the elections won’t happen? Donald Trump saying it was all a joke and he’s not really running? Alien invasion?

The suspense is killing me.