Archive for the ‘Funniest End of Civilization Evah’ Category

In talking about the advertising battle between Hillary! and Trump, Don Surber says something we might actually see.

What scandal can Clinton use to dissuade his voters from crawling over broken glass and going to the polls this fall? … He gave money to a crooked politician? Yes,…

 

I can actually see our Minitrue betters, including most of Foxnews (O’Reilly will have to be fair and balanced and say it’s likely) jumping on that.

They might even go all in, it’ll look like a huge win for team Golden Cow.

But, as Surber says

He gave money to a crooked politician? Yes,and her name is Clinton.

Trump will respond with pictures of the Clintons at his weddings and other events, hugging him. He’ll say he bought both of them because that’s how he had to do business, but he’s unbuyable, unlike his esteemed opponent in the upcomin’.

We can only hope. The funny is just not as funny as we need. Although the idea that the revolution inside and outside the DNC is not being televised is sorta funny. You know all the Dem front groups are used to having the media pay much more attention to them.

 

Every now and then I realize I’m actually rooting for Donald fucking Trump to be POTUS.

We are through the looking glass here folks.

Then watch the speech.

Important, Above The Fold, Pushing Your Preferred Narrative, Update!!!!!!

Shep is surely pushing that it’s a right-winger, even having some lefty friend of his talking about how the guy looks like a neo-nazi while CNN has a witness claiming at least one was yelling “Allahu akbar” and targeting children.

 

I didn’t watch Trump’s speech last night, but in my defense, I haven’t watched any political speeches (except a Trump one last week) since 2001, but I’m gonna bet most of these fools didn’t either, they might have read the transcript, but they didn’t need to actually see the speech to demagogue it.

 

“It was a loud voice, more vengeful than hopeful. More hyperbole than details.” CBS This Morning co-host Charlie Rose huffed that the address had “little appeal to the better angels.” …

 

This one’s my personal favorite from unashamed Clintonista, George Stephansomethingorother:

 a pretty dark speech, labeled Hillary Clinton the candidate of death, destruction terrorism and weakness and mass lawlessness.

 

Do not make fun of the golden cow, that’s almost as bad as attacking their Teleprompter Jesus.

Oh, and the Journolist Word of the Day was, “Dark”.

 

A Veeshir Veerless Vrediction: Well, not so much a vrediction as a wish. I really hope Hillary! chooses Jeb! as her running mate.

That’s about perfect for everybody. Minitrue gets to write story after story about how disaffected Republicans can vote their conscience, the establishment gets to put us in our place (under their loafers), and we get teh awesome that would be the GOP establishment types telling us we have to vote for Hillary! to save the country.

Not quite as ridiculously destructive as a M’Shell candidacy, but pretty darn close.

And I get to laugh my ass off. This election has not had enough of Teh Funny lately.

 

Nother shooting spree, this time in Germany.

Coupla things, too bad they don’t have gun control there (oh wait, they fucking do) and I really hope the guy’s name wasn’t Mohamed or shouting Allahu Akbar because then we’d never know why he did it.

 

And this time ain’t farce.

The first time some tyrant seized arms in Massachusetts, it didn’t go well for the Massachusettsians or, eventually, the tyrants.

For months, Gage had been sending troops into the countryside to search for and capture arms and ammunition being stockpiled by the colonists.

So in his zeal, he just knew there were some more of the evil guns over there! (points off to the right)

One particularly large stockpile was held in a town called Concord some 20 miles northwest of Boston. Gage decided to send out two regiments, roughly 700 men, to march out to Concord, capture the ammunition and end all hopes of an armed conflict.

 

And the rest, as they say, is history.

In today’s exciting episode, we have the Mass AG:

a weapon is a Copy or Duplicate, for example, if the operating system and firing mechanism of the weapon are based on or otherwise substantially similar to one of the Enumerated Weapons.

 

So…. with no way to legally ban what he wants to ban, he’s just ex cathedra banned any semi-auto rifle in his state with that vague direction.

That can’t be legal, and in many other states it wouldn’t be, but since Mass has been one-party rule, I expect it to pass all judicial reviews.

I hope the court that decides it to be okay is in Concorde or Lexington, cuz lefties have no sense of irony.

 

We do get to see if the Massachusettsians are going to supinely let their masters tell them what they can have or if they will get pissed off at being treated like serfs.

Like NYers, I expect them to do the waving their paws in air thing.

Everything is racist. So as Black Lives Matters inspired folks are shooting up our nation’s police, BLM knows where the real problem is: Pokemon Go!

Now, I’m not exactly sure what it is, but here are three reasons why it’s racist. Let’s address them one by one

The first respect, is that it’s much safer to play Pokemon Go, which requires you to walk around your own neighborhood; if you’re white and living in your own neighborhood.

 

So instead of working on getting black neighborhoods safe enough to walk around, which neighborhoods in big cities are exclusively run by Democrats and usually black Democrats, they’re blaming whitey.

 

Second, if you’re black and you play Pokemon in Beverly Hills, chances are the police are going to stop you, question you and see what you’re REALLY up to.

 

Probably. But I’ll clue you in, if I’m walking around a black neighborhood, cops are going to ask me what I’m doing there too and hassle the crap out of me as they assume it’s for drugs or hookers.

 

The third respect in which Pokemon Go is racist is that you can set yourself up as a white Avatar, hunting down and collecting–or shooting–the black monsters in your own neighborhood.

 

Okay, that’s funny. Either the various Pokemon monsters look like Barack Obama or these idiots…..

Oh, I get it now.

It’s just throwing shit at the wall to see what sticks so, with the help of our fine media betters, we can forget that the BLM has spawned people who are murdering cops.

 

As an aside, it’s funny watching CNN and Foxnews talk about how the Never Trumpers and Ted Cruz were just Soundly Defeated!!! by the forces of Good!!!!!

While Ace, and some others, notice that it wasn’t all about “voting your conscience”, it was about taking some of the Establishment’s power and they do not like that shit.

But Minitrue and the lefties at Fox (Hey Juan) are looking to sow discord while the rest of Fox, with Campaign Carl Cameron as their ‘expert’, is all about Teh Establishment.

 

The Dems page and a half plan to Secure The Homeland!!!!! is full of trusting Iran and Saudi Arabia to help us in their war against each other, taking guns without due process, spending lots of money and expanding the perimeter of Security Theater. The usual.

 

Obama’s plan to Secure The Homeland!!!! is a little different.

The Obama administration has released “tens of thousands” of illegal aliens convicted of crimes in the U.S. because their home countries refused to take them back.

 

While the Congresscritter Dems plan will not accomplish anything except give money to their friends and take some more of my freedom, I will say that at least Obama’s plan seems to be intended to further his goal of securing the homeland.

The more violent thugs we have out there the more the media can explain why the gov’t needs to take my guns,

Obama is trying to make the country secure for lefty fascists.

Let’s cast the ‘nets.

First, we have Obama Alinsksplaining:

President Barack Obama says Americans can’t dismiss protesters who call attention to racial issues 50 years after the Civil Rights Act as troublemakers.

First, I have to wonder what they have to do with the Civil Rights Act as they are all about segregation and separate but unequal, but he is right about the last part. You cannot just dismiss them as troublemakers.

BLM leader killed in home invasion of cop’s home.

What do they want? Dead cops! When do they want them? Now!

See? They’re not just troublemakers, they’re troublemakers who attempt and incite murder! Totally different.

 

From the first link, morbama.

Obama also says he believes the police officers who died in Dallas did not die in vain,

I agree, so far as Obama and the rest of the Democratic political/agitation brigade are concerned, they want to stir everybody up for an electoral bump. Also, they can use the dead cops to alinskplain why the police need killbots, MRAPs, grenade launchers and full auto weapons and further, why they need to take my guns. As we all know, anything is important or unimportant in direct relation to how it affects Democrats being elected.

 

We Need Moar Teh Funny!

But we ain’t getting it.

What we are getting is the Dallas Cop who has had the press conferences, he is Teh Awesome.

“We’re asking cops to do too much in this country” said Brown.

“Every societal failure, we put it off on the cops to solve” said Brown. He listed mental health, drug addiction, loose dogs, failing schools as problems the public expects ‘cops to solve.’

Yes, so long as you add in, “Be revenue generators instead of peace officers.”

As a teacher, I wholeheartedly agree. I saw kids with no respect for themselves or others in each and every class. Kids who freak out if you say, “just shut up” after a bunch of “Please be quiet”s didn’t work. Kids who think ‘discipline’ is something everybody but themselves need.

As they get older, the cops get to deal with them and after a lifetime of being told “It’s not your fault!”, they get upset when they are thwarted in any way, shape or form.

 

Next, we have more stinky fish!!!!!!

Congress will introduce legislation to ban all State Department officials from using private email accounts and servers to conduct any official business, the Free Beacon has learned.

Once again, this is already against the law. But the GOP IS DOING SOMETHING TO REIN IN OBAMA!…Hillary!!!!! Send us money!!!! Vote for us!!!!!! Fuck you moron proles!!!!!!…wait, did we say that last bit out loud?

Speaking of feckless GOP idjits, the AP has their back!!!! Discussing the real threat to America, Trump!!!!!

Headline

A lot of holes in GOP presidential ground game in key states

 

These are the same idiots who cannot figure out why he’s so popular.

Eh, so long as they keep attacking him in their insulated, elitist (actual intelligence may vary), entitled, ignorantly moronic way, they’re happy.

But since they are Dems with bylines (as the puppy blender calls them), you know this is also affirmation for their leftist audience.

To be sure, the national party actually has notched record levels of fundraising over the past few years and put together a much more robust ground game than it had in 2012. But officials acknowledge the real competition isn’t their past results or the chronically cash strapped Democratic Party. It’s Clinton and what GOP party chairman Priebus calls “that machine” of Clinton fundraising.

Yeah, keep saying that.

What our fine social, moral, intellectual and political betters cannot wrap their heads around is that this isn’t a normal election. They’ve been whipping up the minorities with tales of evil white folk and finally, the people who are sick of being demonized are mobilizing. And not just white folk, but all the law abiding people who are pretty sick of being accused of horrible things and losing the freedoms our forebearers fought for.

So keep telling us, and yourselves, that everybody who disagrees with you sucks.

Bigawdammit, I’m actually going to have to vote for Trump. If you had told me that at anytime in the last 30 years I would have laughed in your face. Even if you had told me he was running against Hillary!.

So maybe a little funny.

Let’s end on something that’s absolutely chillingly hilarious.

War in the Pacific!

An international tribunal rejected China’s extensive claims in the South China Sea in a landmark ruling Tuesday that also found the country had aggravated the seething regional dispute and violated the Philippines’ maritime rights by building up artificial islands that destroyed coral reefs and by disrupting fishing and oil exploration.

I’ve said that the Dutch are furiously impotent on the international stage, which makes this the funniest line of the day.

While the decision is seen as a major legal declaration regarding one of the world’s most contested regions,

Ummm, by whom? Besides EUnuchs and other globalist idjits I mean. We all know China’s reaction.

China immediately rejected it as a “farce”

I guess the old saw is right, the first time was tragedy, this time it’s farce.

For the tragedy, let’s recall the last time the Dutch had a problem in the Pacific, then it was the Japanese who were warned!!!!! So how did that work out? Death camps, death marches and torture.

I was only going to quote the above, but I just can’t stop. This thing is too darn funny.

While the findings cannot reverse China’s actions,…

Do tell.

it still constitutes a rebuke, carrying with it the force of the international community’s opinion.

 

Yeah, that and $5 will get you cup of Starbucks coffee and a whole bunch of laughing murderous commie dictators.

It also gives heart to small countries in Asia that have helplessly chafed at China’s expansionism, backed by its military and economic power.

I think they left out the word, “palpitations” after “heart” in the above, because there’s nothing that scares murderous dictators less than the frumious frowning of the frustrated fools in the International Community.

This EUnuch came so close to making sense.

Former Foreign Secretary Albert del Rosario, who helped oversee the filing of the case, said the ruling underscored “our collective belief that right is might….

The Chinese whole-heartedly agree.

He should have stopped there, but he didn’t. Cuz he’s a EUnuch.

and that international law is the great equalizer among states.

Ummm, wut?

There is no “International Law”, there are treaties and there are people with the balls to enforce civilized behavior on murderous dictators. While we have plenty in the first category, the only one we have in the second category is Israel, and murderous commie dictators in the Pacific ain’t their problem.

This is the same stupidity EUnuchs have been bleating since before they were officially EUnuchs.

“For the sake of maintaining international order, it is imperative that the Award and clarification of maritime entitlements be accepted by all relevant countries – without exception – so that we can work together on how remaining issues can be peacefully resolved,

Yeah, Chamberlain said the same thing about the reasonable Herr Hitler.

When one side wants to be murderous dictators dominating the world and the other doesn’t want that, there is no acceptable middle ground. I mean, the middle ground is, “How about you just be murderous commie dictators in Asia and the Pacific?” While that’s acceptable to EUnuchs (they’ve lost and/or given up their Pacific colonies), the people in the region aren’t so thrilled. Even the murderous commie dictators in Vietnam!

Since Obama’s peeps are handling this for the US, you know their response.

The U.S. State Department called on both parties to comply with their obligations,

Yeah, you over there, stop being murderously repressed by murderous commie dictators, you murderous commie dictators, could you please be a little less murderous? At least until Minitrue can find something else to pay attention to so Ash Carter doesn’t have to take notice?

I can see why Obama is on their side.

China, which boycotted the entire proceedings, reiterated that it does not accept the panel’s jurisdiction. China “solemnly declares that the award is null and void and has no binding force. China neither accepts nor recognizes it,” a statement from the foreign ministry said.

 

Basically way he handles Congress and judges.

Commies of a feather shit on freedom-loving people together.

I’ll leave on this note.

A professor of Asian political economy said the ruling could be a “transformative moment” in the region.

 

Yeah, convincing China that the only responses to their invasionay tendencies are going to be feckless practically demands they go to war.

War in transformative.

Which makes this bit especially fendy.

Speaking outside the Peace Palace

Practically demanding that China go to war from the Peace Palace is pretty darn funny. And endy. Don’t forget the endy.

I hope Trump does not waste this guy as VP.

If our leaders were interested in winning, they would have to design a strategy to destroy this global enemy. But they don’t see the global war. Instead, they timidly nibble around the edges of the battlefields from Africa to the Middle East, and act as if each fight, whether in Syria, Iraq, Nigeria, Libya or Afghanistan, can be peacefully resolved by diplomatic effort.

 

That’s SecDef talkin’, not VP, help me win an election, talkin’.  I’m still thining Cthulhu or Cheney is his best choice. He has no need of Chris Christie, he’s already filling the Northeast Loudmouth role and Benito Giuliani as AG makes my toes tingle. Just seeing the OUTRAGE!!!!!! of the NY Times and their aging hippy base over that will be High-Lariously highlarious.

 

I’ll give Trump this, his reaction to the murders in Dallas was impressive.

No politics, just a “We need to work on coming together” statement. Very presidential.

 

Let’s leave the politics of the situation to others.

Another New Black Panther posing in the above photo and kneeling with a shotgun is “Field Marshal” Najee Muhammad. As I wrote in my book InjusticeOne of them was Panther “Field Marshal” Najee Muhammad, who is seen in a Panther video called “Training Day” in which he encourages blacks in DeKalb County, Georgia, to don ski masks, lie in wait behind shrubs, and kill police officers with AK-47s. Following that exhortation he mocks the hypothetical victims’ grieving widows.

Justice Department employees ridiculed the video and noted very few were in the video’s audience, apparently oblivious of the role and power of social media to reach people not sitting in an auditorium….

Bob Price has this piece: Confirmed: Dallas Shooter was Member of Houston New Black Panther Party.  The story has a disturbing video of an armed New Black Panther march in Texas where the armed uniformed panthers chant, “Off the pig” and “Oink, oink, bang, bang.”  They also note “Revolution has come. Time to pick up the gun.”  The piece states:

 

There’s video at the link that basically says, “We’re going to kill police.”, and yet, the Dept of “Justice” is focusing on Tea Party terrorists.

“Homegrown violent extremists can be motivated by any viewpoint on the full spectrum of hate — anti-government views (tea party V), racism, bigotry (tea party V), anarchy (but not the lefty anarchists, them tea party anarchists) and other despicable beliefs (anti-gov’t beliefs),” he said. “When it comes to hate and intolerance, no single ideology governs.”

 

Notice, no mention of religion and you know the racism is whitey hatin’ on the black man…woman….person…community! And what our fine betters are doing their best to hide and obfuscate is that two ideologies seem to have the corner on violence; lefties and Islamic jihadis.

 

Petite Lap FBI Director gets slapped down!

These were not marked,” Clinton said. “They were not marked and in retrospect some have said, ‘well, they should have been,’ but they were not at the time.”

She just called Comey a liar. I wonder, will he just sit there and take it like a good minion?

All signs point to yes!/magic eight ball. He obviously knows his place.

 

This doesn’t have much to do with anything except that it’s a result of Obama’s Smirt Duhplomacy, but that’s not why I’m linking to this story of a battle between backers of one set of jihadis and backers of another set of jihadis on the borders of NATO (Turkey)

Deadly airstrikes have rocked a picturesque town in northern Idlib near the Turkish border, despite a three-day ceasefire announced by the Syrian army on Wednesday….

“Warplanes hit the center of the town, including a crowd of civilians,” activists told the activist Shaam News Network.

The Idlib Civil Defense Force—more commonly known as the White Helmets—condemned the attack, calling it a “horrific massacre” while saying that jets dropped cluster bombs on the town.

 

Cease-fire, distinct from a hudna, does not mean the same thing in the middle east. It’s more of a war-time “Hey, your shoeloaces are untied” sort of thing. Only Israel honors them in that region.

Hudna, of course, is a lull in the war while one or both sides just rest and re-arm for the next battle.

But then, this wasn’t really a cease-fire so far as the Syrians were concerned in the first place.

Friday’s aerial strikes comes after Syria’s army issued a statement that a “ regime of calm will be implemented across all territory of the Syrian Arab Republic for a period of 72 hours from 1 a.m. on July 6 until 2400 on July 8, 2016.”

Yeah, calm down or die is not quite the same as a cease fire.

What has me surprised is that anybody, except for earnest lefties, were surprised by this.

I’d guess it’s the faux outrage best translated as “Hey, he did it before I could!”.