Archive for the ‘Funniest End of Civilization Evah’ Category

5-dollar-kill

That’s freaking awesome. Via this site, Odd Stuff Magazine, that apparently every blogger in the world knows about but me.

And probably Ace.

So is it illusion that it’s no war in Ukraine or is it delusion?

An area near the industrial zone came under fire. As a result of explosions of shells on Levanevskoho Str., Soborna Str., and Lermontova Str., eight houses were damaged by shrapnel. Rooftops, walls, and windows suffered considerable damage,” the press service of the National Police in Donetsk region reported.

 

Delusion, they’re surely not hiding it. I do not think the spring is going to be fun in much of the world.

 

Delusional thinking knows no limits!

European leaders get together in Munich to discuss the invasion of a part of Europe!

The Munich Agreement was a settlement permitting Nazi Germany’s annexation of portions of Czechoslovakia along the country’s borders mainly inhabited by German speakers, for which a new territorial designation “Sudetenland” was coined…

Because the state of Czechoslovakia was not invited to the conference,…

Oh wait, wrong Munich Conference.

Foreign ministers of the Normandy Four have started negotiations in Munich on settlement of the situation in Donbas, according to an UNIAN correspondent…

The talks are being held on the sidelines of the Munich Security Conference with the participation of Foreign Ministers of Ukraine Pavlo Klimkin, Russia Sergey Lavrov, Germany Sigmar Gabriel, and France Jean-Marc Ayrault,

 

Eh, at least this time they invited Czechoslovakia…Ukraine. They’re still gonna be betrayed, but they’ll be able to watch it in real time.

 

Delusion or illusion?

CBS News has learned that on Thursday, an angry President Trump called CIA Director Mike Pompeo and yelled at him for not pushing back hard enough against reports that the intelligence community was withholding information from the commander-in-chief.

Every report about Trump from any minitrue outlet should be considered a lie until proven stupid, how could they know he “yelled”? I wouldn’t dispute that Trump called him and took him to task for that bit of assholery,  but I sincerely doubt he “yelled at him”. So… is that story delusion or illusional?

Scott Adams says, Delusional!

When reality violates your ego that rudely, you either have to rewrite the movie in your head to recast yourself as an idiot, or you rewrite the movie to make yourself the hero who could see what others missed. Apparently the Huffington Post chose to rewrite their movie so Trump is a deranged monster, just like they warned us. That’s what they see. This isn’t an example of so-called “fake” news as we generally understand it. This is literally imaginary news. I believe the Huffington Post’s description of the press conference is literally what they saw.

Yup. They cannot admit, especially to themselves, that they’re idiots.

 

I’m going with both illusional and delusional on this, and more!

The Northern Arizona University Political Science department recently hosted a “Specter of Fascism” event at which professors repeatedly compared Donald Trump to Hitler and the Nazis.

“The Specter of Fascism” was a panel discussion featuring six NAU professors with specialties covering politics and international affairs, women and gender studies, and criminology.

It’s attempted indoctrination by delusional fools pushing an illusion.

I agree with this bit though

“The material and psychological conditions that made it possible for the Nazis to mobilize masses around an ideologically constructed enemy are the very same conditions in which our politics is unfolding today

Except I’d say the people who are busily rioting around the country are the incipient fascists.

Now, Trump the Fascist is an illusion they’re trying to create, but their idiocy hampers that. Let’s continue the quote about how the conditions are the same as for the Nazis.

explaining that “these material conditions are a capitalist, economic, and bourgeois social world in which private gain…you know, ruthlessly competitive world is celebrated and where economic suffering combine with deep social isolation is the condition we live in.”

Ummmmm, that’s the commie revolution idiot lefties have been masturbating to since Marx first thought it up, the rise of fascism was an entirely different deal.

 

Okay, I’ve heard some stupid things from Bill Gates, but this is the most disingenuous and delusional thing I’ve ever heard.

Bill Gates, the co-founder of Microsoft and world’s richest man, said in an interview Friday that robots that steal human jobs should pay their fair share of taxes.

“Right now, the human worker who does, say, $50,000 worth of work in a factory, that income is taxed and you get income tax, Social Security tax, all those things,” he said. “If a robot comes in to do the same thing, you’d think that we’d tax the robot at a similar level.”

Disingenuous because he knows the people who run the robots will be taxed so the people buying the products will pay the taxes, delusional because… that’s about the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.

The worst part? Nancy Pelosi, Paul Ryan, Mitch McConnell and Chuck fucking Schumer just got huge boners and they’re not sure why.

 

I didn’t realize Pat Buchanan was running!

The Church’s legislative body voted last night against a report that calls for continued opposition to same-sex marriage…

Now some clergy have come forward saying they made a mistake when using their voting machines, and that they actually supported their colleagues’ report.

I would bet fifty cents that was supposed to be failure theater. They wanted the vote to be close but they miscounted and screwed it up.

 

Sticking with gay stuff,

A police veteran with 22 years on the force was told to “tone down” his sexuality if he ever wanted a promotion to lieutenant, according to a discrimination lawsuit.

At first I thought, “I can understand that, women who are cops do not emphasize their femininity so they can intimidate..well…me. Men should not either.”, but then I thought about the fact that he was already a 22 year veteran, that would seem to point out they just don’t like gay cooties.

Everyone knows girls are where cooties come from. I just wish more people would accept that.

 

The way that book should have ended!

franks-ending

 

Now, some of you made fun of me for my boycott of Lemur King but, as usual, I was just ahead of my time!

F]eminists are pushing a boycott of Trump wines and Wegmans for selling it. … Since the boycott began the sale of Trump Wines has skyrocketed. [story]

Ivanka Trump’s perfume line shot to the top of Amazon’s bestseller’s list, as the first daughter faces boycott efforts by liberals and supporters counter with a #buyivanka campaign. [story]

A viral video shows a group of women storming into a Nordstrom to cancel their accounts in response to the retailer’s decision to stop selling Ivanka Trump’s fashion brand, promising to shop at Dillard’s instead. [story]

Hah!

The problem is that Veeshir-style boycotts take so much time and effort they’re just not worth it.

 

California got $34 billion of stimulizing money that apparently didn’t go to the dam they’ve known for more than a decade was in danger.

Despite more than a decade of warnings about Oroville, there is no public record of the country’s tallest dam receiving any of the more than $34 billion from the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act sent to California for infrastructure projects.

I absolutely love this bit

The California Department of Water Resources denied that it had failed to heed concerns about the emergency spillway.

“We have a very rigorous schedule of inspections that is determined by state and federal regulators,” said spokesman Eric See. “We actually do those inspections annually.”

So what you’re saying is that even though you inspected this dam and checked all the right boxes, it’s falling apart?!?!?!!? That can’t be!

Bureaucrats checking boxes is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical bureaucratic ceremony!

So what did they spend that infrastructure money on?

Thompson lauded numerous stimulus projects, which included $2.2 million for “more attractive” sidewalks and $2.5 million for a 205-acre “zero net energy” community on the University of California Davis campus to put a greater “emphasis on walking” and bicycling.

“zero net energy” means, “No modern infrastructure”, which is very Californian. They took infrastructure stimulizing money to create a place with no infrastructure while ignoring the dam that’s GONNA KILL THEM ALL!.

That’s dam funny. And dam endy as well. Glad I don’t live downstream.

 

This next link should have been first, but then the headline wouldn’t have made any sense. This is  fucking outrageous.

By now many of you know that Mike Strickland, a pro-gun, free lance journalist was convicted of  21 counts of self defense on Friday, Feb.10.

Strickland had been attacked by a mob in Portland while covering a “Black Lives Matter” protest. The attack was planned and coordinated in advance.

They went after this guy because in peaceful, tolerant Oregon you cannot go against the tolerance and love of lefties or they’ll fucking beat you into a coma or throw you in jail in a fully justified twisting of laws.

I’d excerpt more of it but it needs to be read in full. The scope of the railroading of this guy is breathtaking.

And the worst part? You know the majority of voters in that bastion of peace, love, inclusion and tolerance would be just happy to see this nazi get putsched.

 

So a few months ago Yellen was talking about negative interest rates, but that’s when she needed to keep interest rates down so it wasn’t so obvious how screwed we are over debt. Now, she needs to get a president impeached so here we are, watching our fine betters trying so hard to make him unpopular.

The financial world has been put on notice by the US central bank to get ready for interest rate rises, but there is still no word on when…

Yellen did warn about delaying rate hikes: “Waiting too long to remove accommodation would be unwise.

I hate the We’re Better And Smarter Than You Party.

 

failure-theater

Ann Coulter occasionally goes over the top, but she also is usually spot on.

What have congressional Republicans been doing? Scrapbooking?

More than 90 percent of congressional Republicans kept their jobs after the 2016 election, so you can cross “staffing an entire branch of government” off the list….

The House passed six Obamacare repeals when Obama was president and there was no chance of them being signed into law.

Yup.

To the delight of the media, these frightened little lambs are appalled by nearly everything Trump does…

Way, way back, 15 long months ago, congressional Republicans didn’t have a problem with a total ban on Syrian and Iraqi refugees. Not for a mere three months like Trump’s order — but permanently…

That bill passed the House with an overwhelming, veto-proof majority, including 47 Democrats. Then it went to the Senate to die.

The establishment pricks of the GOP are not taking their comeuppance well.

 

More Failure Theater

Massie’s measure consists of only one sentence: “The Department of Education Shall Terminate on December 31, 2018.” He introduced it at the very same time U.S. Education Secretary Betsy DeVos was confirmed by the Senate.

I hope, but you know it won’t happen.

Nother, 1-line, bill.

Republican-backed legislation to eliminate the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) is definitely one of the shortest bills Congress has dealt with in a while.

“The Environmental Protection Agency shall terminate on December 31, 2018” is all the bill says regarding EPA’s elimination. The bill’s preamble has more words than its legislative language.

And like the previous, it ain’t going anywhere.

 

So what’s the endgame of Failure Theater?

The Democrat Party really, really is dwindling away before our eyes. But don’t misunderstand me. It’s precisely because of this that the unelected Democrat Party, which is embedded in our nation’s bureaucracy, has taken over the role of the opposition party. And by that I mean all of the Obama appointees in the intelligence community. All of the Obama and Clinton appointees at the departments of justice, departments of state and the defense department, they are all there, and they are working to sabotage the administration of Donald Trump from within. They are doing this with the aid and cooperation of the media. (Don’t forget the GOP pricks like McCain! V)

Putting Teh Peepul in their place (at the feet of our fine moral, social, intellectual and political betters).

 

Speaking of putting Teh Peepul in their place, Orange Coast Community College slays me.  We’ve all seen the story about the kid who recorded his unhinged prof unhingedly attacking Trump ‘forcing’ the school to suspend him. What cracks me up is what he has to do to be readmitted to this fine institution.

To be allowed back in school, the letter says, O’Neil’s essay is to be three pages and double-spaced and must discuss why he videotaped the professor. Also, the essay is to cover his “thoughts and analysis” on why he decided to share the videos, what he thought would happen to Cox and “the impact of the video going ‘viral’ and the ensuing damage to Orange Coast College students, faculty and staff.”

Gee, it’s not as if he’s going to be able to go to another community college! I mean, there are so few of them!

He should write three pages, quadruple-spaced, and discuss how the admin in that community college are bunch of fascist assholes and thank them for letting him know he needed to go to another community college. Preferably in a different state.

 

 

High-larious!

dipoles

 

 

Why?

A Facebook chatbot is offering hapless men the words to charm any feisty feminist without causing offence.

No really, why?

The worst part is that something that could avoid causing offence to a feminist must be some powerful fucking software and they’re wasting it on talking to feminists.

That’s not funny!

First I’d like to ask a question, are Colts really three times better than S&W? I’ve never fired a Colt revolver but I really like S&W. I just don’t see how a used, stainless .44mag is $700 when it’s S&W but $1,500-$2500 when it’s Colt.

S&W is about $100+/- more than Ruger and I think that’s about right.

Is it just because they don’t make them anymore? Because I’ll tell you, unless the Colt comes with a happier ending than a S&W, I just can’t see it being worth that much more.

 

I wishfully hoped that they wouldn’t use all the terrorist-catching laws that were ONLY GOING TO BE USED TO CATCH TERRORISTS!!!!!!! on people who aren’t terrorists.

Law enforcement wants to charge a Perry County man with committing terrorist activity after he stole 911 communications equipment.

Frank Thomas Aldridge is in custody after breaking into a 911 communications building back on Dec. 9, 2016.

Aldridge found out he couldn’t resell the equipment he stole, so he threw it in a nearby creek.

I know, when I wishfully think I make an ass out of me and me. Especially when I wishfully think that gov’t folks won’t get all mission creepy.

 

France is trying to be my friend, I hope this isn’t just wishful thinking.

Leading French Presidential Candidate Emmanuel Macron has invited the entire US climate science community to relocate to France.

Thank you French socialist dude, I sincerely hope they take you up on your offer.

 

Romanians are wishing for a non-corrupt gov’t and thinking that they’re gonna have to stay serious to get it.  They’ve been protesting for about 2 weeks over

The decree, decriminalised the abuse of office in cases where the damages were less than 200,000 leu (about 43,200 euros) and was coupled with a mass pardon for non-violent convicts serving short jail terms.

What that means is that if a politician takes a bribe for less than about $50k, no harm no foul. And pols in jail would be let out.

Obviously, their gov’t is pretty similar to ours.

Despite the outrage over the proposed changes to the criminal code. the government is refusing to quit. It insists the public has misunderstood its reform bid

Yeah, we get that shit here too.

I wish them luck. Romanian pols might want to review history, Europeans do not get a Trump, they get a Hitler or a Ceausescu and light poles start to get decorated.

 

Via Cold Fury, we find this bit of hilarity.

A French street artist was severely beaten up in Paris after refusing to remove a work of art calling for coexistence between Islam, Judaism and Christianity.

When I mention the stupidity of those COEXIST signs, I’m called a hater, if you click you will see that the French media tried to obfuscate the issue, but it’s unobfuscatable. He should have stuck with the traditional form.

coexist1

 

 

 

 

Fakenewser takes time off from fakenewsing to do a little affirmation/wishful thinking!

Headline

A new, liberal tea party is forming. Can it last without turning against Democrats?

I doubt it, why?

Grass-roots movements can be the life and death of political leaders.

Yeah, about that.

Political action committees that fundraised for President Barrack Obama during the 2012 presidential election, bused protesters to Republican town hall events nationwide earlier in February, according to a Sunday report from The Washington Post.

 

It makes it funnier that the Wash Post are the fakenewsers praising the TOTALLY GRASSROOTS!!!!!!  group while they also noticed that Obama was busing in those totally grassroots protestors.

Back to the original fakenews, so long as you think the Tea Party a top-down, paid for, astro-turfed group of rioters willing to travel around the country to get their violence and stupidity on then they’re spot on. Which is what they thought the tea party was.

 

What I can’t figure out is whether or not Canada gets any US TV channels.

U.S. border guards would get new powers to question, search and even detain Canadian citizens on Canadian soil under a bill proposed by the Liberal government.

As we’re trying to limit the power of the feds here the Canadians are giving our feds more power!?!?!?!

Don’t encourage them you idiots! It’s only going to make our job here more difficult! Idjits.

 

Speaking of Canadia, this bit of Tolerance Love and Peace is hilarious.

While the men prayed, she (Ontario premier Kathleen Wynne V) sat patiently in the back corner of the mosque waiting to say the words many in the room were so thankful to hear.

The words they were so thankful to hear? “We will adhere to the tenets of your religion.” Actually, she said something else, but you know what they heard.

She sat in a corner in the back of the mosque while the men fucking prayed and she didn’t fucking leave. She didn’t seem to even realize they were making sure she knew her place.

 

As we watch California flooding caused by corrupt, CA pols… global worming, let’s focus on what’s important.

I think I can help with this question.

Headline on a story about of the the ‘discoveries’ that global warmmongers lie.

How can we trust global warming scientists if they keep twisting the truth

 

You can’t. They lie.

 

You always become what you fight!

In an impassioned plea, Mr Cook, boss of the world’s largest company (CEO of Apple V), says that the epidemic of false reports “is a big problem in a lot of the world” and necessitates a crackdown by the authorities and technology firms.

 

In Veeshir’s post, there are links to his stories on the blog, to get to Veeshir’s post, you gotta walk, the darkness, of Veeshir’s mind

 

First an aside. I’ve been reading a lot of Kindle books by lesser known authors, either using Kindle unlimited to read it for free or buying books for $2 or $3. I get history and a lot of sci-fi, including military sci-fi and there are a lot of guys writing military sci-fi who know absolutely nothing about the military, weapons or science. Not a blessed thing.

One guy I tried to like wrote about ships going .1c and yet, 1000 km was far away. I mean, he wrote that the enemy was minutes away and they were 1000 km away. Other guys have nukes go off 100 miles from the space ship, in space, and the ship is destroyed. The guy I was reading last night has absolutely no idea what a ‘sabot’ is and yet, he used the word approximately 4000 times. Another guy had an LT order his patrol to, “Put a round in the chamber and keep your fingers on your triggers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” If it had been a book instead of a tablet, I would have thrown it across the room and burned it. If any LT in the history of ever gave that order his 1st sgt would have shot him in the face immediately I figure.

I know that people do stupid things so I should accept that, but when they have an entire Space Marine Corps acting like idjits, I’m done.

Oh well, at least I occasionally find a good book, like We are legion. We are Bob and BV Larson. His Star Force series, starts with Swarm, is very darn good.

 

Let’s Tube!

Puppy blender has a link that says

FUNDAMENTALLY TRANSFORMED: Americans don’t trust anymore, and that’s a big problem.

huh, I wonder why that is. I mean, it’s not as if everybody has found out that lying works. Aided and abetted by our fine media betters.

 

Minitrue sez “Nearly Half Of All Americans Think Trump Is Moving Too Fast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(inhale)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So…… does that mean that over half think he’s doing okay?

finds that 47 percent of Americans think the speed of the president’s actions is too fast and 35 percent are satisfied by the pace. Another 10 percent believe it isn’t fast enough, and 7 percent report having no opinion.

Oh okay, so 47 think too fast and 45 think it’s right or too slow.  So basically, the headline could be that nearly half are pretty happy about what he’s doing but this is Minitrue!

 

Don’t forget, Trump has a lot of cleaning to do in the bureaucracy, I wonder if this is sabotage or just ignorance.

How many arrests have there been of foreign nationals for those seven countries since 9/11?” Robart asked a Justice Department lawyer in court on Feb. 3. When the lawyer said she didn’t know, Robart said, “Let me tell you. The answer to that is none, as best I can tell.”

It turns out the judge, and Nadler, and everybody else repeating the talking point had it wrong. Last year the Senate Judiciary Subcommittee on Immigration and the National Interest released information showing that at least 60 people born in the seven countries had been convicted — not just arrested, but convicted — of terror-related offenses in the United States since Sept. 11, 2001. And that number did not include more recent cases like Abdul Artan, a Somali refugee who wounded 11 people during a machete attack on the campus of Ohio State University last November.

Never ascribe to malice along that which could be adequately explained by malice, stupidity and ignorance! But I’m going with just malice on that one. Situational ignorance is what lawyers do.

 

The ACLU morphed from a civil rights group to a “civil rights” group so slowly I didn’t even realize it. From SCCop Blog.

  • According to a comprehensive new study by the University of Chicago Crime Lab, the city’s exclusive contract with the American Civil Liberties Union could be having a significant impact on Chicago’s crime.
Gee, no shit?
  • “This is one of the few dramatic changes where the timing does fit the increase in homicides and so it seems it would be rash to reflectively rule this out as a possibility,” said Dr. Jens Ludwig, the director of the University of Chicago’s Crime Lab.
Golly, exactly as we pointed out when we dissected the 70+ page report that killed the street stop. But what do we know? We’ve only been doing this for decades now.

So what you’re saying is that lefty grandstanding and willful ignorance kills those they claim to be ‘protecting’?

Whodathunkit? You know, besides anybody not a sucker of lefty talking points.

 

Speaking of lefties killing people, Berkeley!

The major student-run paper of UC Berkeley ran five op-eds Tuesday defending the riots on campus, and arguing that violence was an acceptable response to a speech from Breitbart editor Milo Yiannopoulos.

Jebus. On the one hand, they’re advocating stifling free speech using violence, on the other hand, they’re destroying their own homes to do it, on the gripping hand, try that shit someplace where leftists aren’t in charge and find out that felony rioting and cold-cocking people is not consequence-free.

I wonder why they never come to Apache Junction to protest. I know I’d welcome them, there are a shitload of coyotes around here (my dog is outside barking at some as I’ve been typing) and they gotta eat too.

 

Okay, now I do not trust any of these ‘leaks’ but I hope this one is accurate.

In his first call as president with Russian leader Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump denounced a treaty that caps U.S. and Russian deployment of nuclear warheads as a bad deal for the United States, according to two U.S. officials and one former U.S. official with knowledge of the call.

Like just about everything Obama did, that was a bad deal for America.

 

 

I really have to wonder how lefties can doublethink their way to spending so much time and effort defending people like this.

diversity

 

How the fuck did Obama so screw up the world that now Russia is helping the Taliban to fight us?

Gen. John Nicholson, the top U.S. commander in Afghanistan, testified today that Russia is helping the Taliban

WTF? No, really. WTFF?

I’m actually surprised the remake of Red Dawn didn’t have us invading Cuba, shooting school children and making adult males stay in camps watching speeches by Ronnie Raygun.

 

Yesterday I was wondering if Tsar Putin I and Sultan Erdogan would have a remake of the Russo-Turkish war of the 19th century, why?

Under “Alliance of convenience” you’ll see the Putin/Erdogan alliance in Syria.

Russian President Vladimir Putin has sent condolences after a Russian airstrike accidentally killed three Turkish soldiers in northern Syria, according to BBC

The soldiers were supporting Syrian rebels in efforts to capture the city of al-Bab from so-called Islamic State, BBC News reports.

It is part of a broader offensive by Turkey to push IS and Kurdish fighters away from Turkey’s southern border.

Russia and Turkey, who back opposing sides in the war, have been jointly targeting IS in airstrikes recently.

 

It seems to me that there are a lot more ways for that to go wrong than right. Maybe Tsar Putin I wasn’t playing chess, he was actually playing checkers. Unfortunately, Obama was playing tiddly-winks.

 

Well this is a year or more late.

19-year-old Willem Pennings built an Arduino-powered machine that quickly sorts M&Ms and Skittles by color

We’re fresh out of Skittle-shitting unicorns.

 

The finish is gonna be Dave Barry heavy, but let’s start with something that’s making me contemplate the uncontemplatable.

A top lawyer for internet retailer Amazon is taking a victory lap for the company’s role in the Ninth Circuit Court’s decision to retain the temporary restraining order halting President Trump’s travel ban.

Yes, not shopping at Amazon.

I’ve been shopping at Amazon since 1997 or so, I just got “Kindle unlimited” and I’ve been enjoying it, but now I have to think that maybe Amazon can suck my dick. I’m at least getting rid of Unlimited and telling them why. If they want to join the culture wars, that’s their deal.

I just sent an email explaining that I cancelled my Kindle Unlimited subscription because I do not want to subsidize their politics and that it will take very little to get me to buy my books elsewhere. Man, I am very pissed off right now. Can nobody in the fucking world just do their business and keep politics out of it?

 

Eh, let’s Dave Barry.

Only in post-2016 America would this headline need to be written.

Headline: TO CLARIFY: IT WAS NOT HIS PAIN

Article: Vaginal pain helps exonerate man accused of murder

 

At any other time in the history of ever that headline would have been only funny, now it’s necessary. I’m not sure if that makes it funnier.

 

We all saw the link where some guy tried an illegal wire transfer and blamed it on Jesus, but I didn’t see anybody pointing this out.

A unemployed Lakeland man faces a five-year prison sentence and a fine of up to $250,000 after making a $7 billion fraudulent wire transfer (emphasis me V)

7. Billion. Dollars. I have to respect crazy that strong. He could have gone for a few $mil but if you’re going for the gusto, go for the fucking gusto!

 

An orange alligator was spotted in Florida and this journalist did not work “Trump” into it at all! Impressive. The editor noted in the caption that the neighbors called it “trumpagator”,  but the journalist did not take a shot. That must have taken a lot of willpower.

trumpagator

 

Okay, I saw this link with pictures of guys dressed like this and I figured it was a joke.

gurk

Okay, so now I still think it’s a joke, just not on purpose. The one on the left is not the lamest, most ridiculous costume this guy makes. No, really.

gurkle

 

Since everything I know about high society I learned from reading High Times I have to ask, do people actually wear that stuff?

If so, where? When?

If women were wearing that I’d ask, “How much for half-and-half?”, is that just male-hooker wear?

I don’t really want to know all that much, I just get a little curious about ridiculous things sometimes.

Those loaded questions

Posted: January 22, 2017 by aliceaitch in Funniest End of Civilization Evah, We're boned

We had a patient with dysphasia today, my partner was trying to assess her mental status. He asked her who’s president – which is a loaded question these days anyway – and she was trying to answer but was having difficulty getting the words out. So he asked her what color the President’s skin was. She replied, “orange”.

So, is that a GCS verbal of 5 or 3?

Look around. Here it comes.

It’s just our national nervous breakdown.

 

Here’s how fake news works. McCain gives some blatantly faked deal to one of Obama’s Trump-haters in the Dept. of “Justice”, they brief Trump on it saying, “People who hate you  (Like McCain and..well, the intelligence community) are going to be doing shit like this to you in the future. Be prepared.”

The stupidity is published as accurate. Minitrue does their thing and next thing you know, basic facts are obfuscated.

Here we have Allah saying,

NBC claimed yesterday that the synopsis was prepared but not shared with Trump, and furthermore that it was prepared merely as an example of “disinformation,” potentially to show him how unreliable private intelligence is.

Yeah, they try to make it hard to figure out what happened, but it was shared with Trump,  move the word “potentially” and the sentence reflects reality.

He’s talking about the Clapper thing, here’s a different take on the intelligence brouhaha culminating with Clapper’s letter.

I haven’t seen a lot of follow-up about that (well, except now for the main headline on Drudge), but it’s very clear that Trump just nailed the existing Intelligence agencies for leaking this information. He knows it, and they know it. And guess what happens less than 12 hours later? (Clapper’s letter saying, ‘Our bad’ V)

Trump is a huckster, but he’s smart and can accurately model reality and act accordingly. He’s also used to dealing in the highest circles of competence in the world, now he’s in the US gov’t. That’s like training for the NFL and playing in the Lingerie League.

Well played, President-Elect Trump. I suspect we may see some top-level housecleaning when Dan Coats (Director of National Intelligence and Clapper’s replacement), Mike Pompeo (Director of the CIA) and Gen. Mike Flynn (National Security Advisor) are confirmed and in place

How beautiful would it be if our gov’t was actually run by people who care more about reality and helping America than giving money and power to leftist groups?

 

Let’s do some a couple fake news items. Without hovering over the link, try to see if they’re parody or satire or meant to be believed.

Nancy Pelosi says Obamacare was bi-partisan legislation.

Mattis attends confirmation hearing wearing only Spartan helmet and ‘Fuck ISIS’ boxers

Maybe when Trump is done, stories like the first will be parody and ones like the second will be accurate.

 

In, Scandal-Free Obama news, Fast and Furious.

One of the guns used in the November 13, 2015 Paris terrorist attacks came from Phoenix, Arizona where the Obama administration allowed criminals to buy thousands of weapons illegally in a deadly and futile “gun-walking” operation known as “Fast and Furious.”

A Report of Investigation (ROI) filed by a case agent in the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco Firearms and Explosives (ATF) tracked the gun used in the Paris attacks to a Phoenix gun owner who sold it illegally, “off book,” Judicial Watch’s law enforcement sources confirm.

Too bad none of our fine media betters are covering this.

Check that, thank goodness they aren’t. They’d hide that it was Obama selling the gun and use it as an excuse to try to take my guns.

 

Lots of chucklers and near chucklers today, so let’s start with one that makes me laugh.

A few years ago I opined on the nature of Pluto and its moons.

Maybe there are hydrogen oceans with CO2 sands and probably little water ice mountains with helium snow so the people who live there ski in the morning (about 487 of our days long) and then have pina colodas beachside in the afternoon (also 487 days long, happy hour is a bear there).
It gets cold at night I bet.

Now, I feel vindicated.

 for 2015’s historic Pluto flyby – and when it got there, it discovered stunning towers of ice reaching 500 metres into the sky.

This is the first time this phenomenon has been found anywhere in the Solar System other than on Earth,

Life guard towers obviously.

 

Team America! Gets It Wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!

China’s President Xi Jinping will promote “inclusive globalization” at this month’s World Economic Forum (WEF) in Davos and will warn that populist approaches can lead to “war and poverty”,

 

It won’t be Kim Jong Il working with the Film Actors Guild to Bring Peace For Our Time while causing wars around the world, Xi will be handling those duties.

I don’t think I’d go to the Panama Canal for a few years.

 

Now some graphics.

The Best Sign Of The Day.

he-knows

Heh.

 

Not sure why Joey is in this one, I’d much prefer Rachel and her nips, but I do like the sentiment.

doglife

 

I always wonder what dogs think of us. I wonder if they think we controll weather. My dog thinks I’m an asshole, so I figure he thinks I make it 120 degrees outside just to fuck with him. His biggest wonder is how to get that big moving room to take him to McDonald’s. Next to the park, McD’s drive-thru is Kago’s favorite place to be. Now that he’s older, he prefers the drive-thru to the park.

 

I mentioned Nancy Pelosi and Obama, you know what that means! Pics of them below the fold!!!!!!!!

(more…)

Or…What The Intertubes Refuses.

 

This one is very darn funny but the comedian doesn’t even know he’s funny. I love those.

So some fool at NY Mag trying to make sense of life and Trump voters writes this.

Unlike a lot of people, who had to try to make conversation with conservative friends and family over the holidays, I only know two confirmed Trump voters….

(bunch of idiocy about how he’s an intolerant asshole but it’s okay because Trump V)

The most prejudiced people also tend to be the most provincial; they’ve never actually met any of the people they think they hate.

 

It always makes me laugh when people unknowingly describe themselves so perfectly.

 

Corey Booker, who has previously praised Jeff Sessions as a non-racist, is now going off on a Sessions is a racist!!!!! tour.

I wonder, will any of our fine media betters actually notice that change? (no, I don’t wonder, I just like to make myself laugh)

 

Speaking of which, Trump’s presser today was absolutely hilarious. He’s nearly as entertaining as Rumsfeld at a presser.

He called out CNN as purveyors of fake news while he was on CNN. The CNN tool was freaking out. He wouldn’t shut up, I thought Trump was going to have to call security to throw the asshole out.

1 Minute Later Update!!!!!

Suddenly, I miss Helen Thomas at press conferences. That would have been funny.

 

He called CNN out for this bullshit, the “Russians have dirt on Trump and they’re going to blackmail him!!!!!!!!!!” (lies pushed by fucking McCain).

They  will literally run anything that makes Trump look bad so I look forward to more and more people feeding them idiocies that match their preconceptions (Trump stole his first $million via charity fraud!!!!!!!!) and watching them run with it…right over a cliff.

The other point on that is that the Russians have plenty of dirt on Clintons (from all the bribes over the last 20+ years) and yet, now our fine media betters are worried about it.

Trump is being immunized from our fine media betters’ outrage.

 

This is typical stupidity, about how Dems are attacking a Trump nominee, Betsy DeVos, for supporting FIRE, which fine organization tries to promote freedom in a commie dictatorship (higher ed V). That’s stupid enough, but might not look stupid to people who don’t know what FIRE is, but the reason I’m linking is for this quote from Polieico.

Republican megadonor Betsy DeVos has given thousands of dollars to an advocacy group that is seeking to overturn an Obama administration policy that made it easier to discipline college students accused of sexual harassment or assault.

 

Yeah, and in Salem they were upset when people tried to stop it from being easier to burn witches.

 

One of the reasons I hate our fine lefty betters so much is because of the way they try to ruin any fun to be had by anybody.

A ‘black’ college has their marching band going to Trump’s inauguration so some arbiter of all things black told them they should not accept the chance of a lifetime.

Cuz of the hatred and racism. (Trump was the opposite of racist until 2015, back when he was still a Democrat).

 

Now, some chucklers.

This one makes me laugh pretty hard, it’s the world upside down and sideways.

President Obama’s clashes with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu may cost him a membership at an exclusive golf club, sources said.

Obama is looking to join the elite Woodmont Country Club in Maryland once he becomes a private citizen.

But members of the mostly Jewish club are at each other’s throats

 

I’m not sure what’s funniest, that Jews are kicking someone out of a country club as in the last century it was Jews that were not allowed into country clubs or that Jews are blackballing a black man from a country club.

 

That would have been the funniest item of the day if this article had been from Duffelblog, but it is supposedly for real.

So the Department of Defense (DoD) decided to do something about it, and is requesting environmentally friendly ammunition for use during training exercises.

The request was made via the Small Business Innovation Research (SBIR) program. Specifically, the DoD wants “biodegradable training ammunition loaded with specialized seeds to grow environmentally beneficial plants that eliminate ammunition debris and contaminants.”

I’m pretty sure that was the plot of an H.R. Pufnstuf episode.

 

Trump can’t come soon enough for our military.