Archive for the ‘Funniest End of Civilization Evah’ Category

I Agree With Joe Biden!

Posted: August 23, 2016 by veeshir in Funniest End of Civilization Evah

Quoth Biden. (I was going to use a Daily Caller link but I got sick of trying to cut and paste and scroll around as my computer froze. I hate Flash)

Americans, Biden said, are prone to overreact to “wolves at the door.”

 

Jackass. He knows so much better than we. Cuz he’s an idiot who thinks he’s a genius.

“Terrorism is a real threat, but it’s not an existential threat to the existence of the democratic country of the United States of America,”

That’s where I agree with him.

Biden, his boss, his erstwhile colleague, Hillary!, the rest of the Democratic political/entertainment complex and the establishment pricks in the GOP, like NRO and John McCain, are the existential threat to our nation.

Islamists are our enemy, the only way they can be an existential threat is if we let the people in the We’re Better And Smarter Than You Party keep on taking our freedoms as a way of “fighting” them. Let’s strengthen the Patriot Act and give more power to the TSA to KEEP US SAFE!!!!!!!!!!

Actual results may vary.

 

He also describes the Biden Doctrine!!!!!!

Biden told The Atlantic that he operates under the “Biden doctrine”: “My dad used to say to me, ‘Champ, if everything is equally important to you, nothing is important to you.’ So the hardest thing to do, I’ve found in 44 years, is to prioritize what really are the most consequential threats and concerns…”

Okay, that’s funny.

So what has Biden ‘prioritized’ over those 44 years?

voted against the aid package for South Vietnam, and that was part of the deal when we pulled out of South Vietnam to try and help them survive. He said that when the Shah fell in Iran in 1979 that that was a step forward for progress toward human rights in Iran. He opposed virtually every element of President Reagan’s defense build-up. He voted against the B-1, the B-2, the MX and so on.

More

He was against aid to the Nicaraguan Contras which in the end brought democracy and ended the Sandinista rule at the time. He was against Reagan’s expansion of the defense budget, which bankrupted the Soviet Union and led to the end of the Soviet Empire. He was against Reagan on Strategic Defenses, which is the big advantage that we have now in the missile age

 

He was against the first Gulf War but for intervention in the breakup of Yugoslavia, he called Milosevic a “Damn war criminal!” but apparently, Saddam wasn’t.

Kuwait was strategically important to the US while Yugoslavia was not. So he was against something important to America and for something that just dragged America into a feud that makes Hatfield/McCoys look like Dennis and Mr. Wilson.

The Biden Doctrine, it’s like the Monroe Doctrine except with much more drool, stupidity, goals with a decided lack of importance to America and ignorance of how the world works.

 

I still cannot believe that we are still pretending he’s is not so stupid that when his butler says his shoes are on the wrong feet he responds, “Those are my feet!”

 

And what the hell is Foxnews doing with Megan McCain? Dammit, I used to really like Outnumbered but now they have her, I cannot take her idiocy.  Oh well.

So she’s been made captain of the Trump-Titanic.

I have to wonder what her motivation is. Did Reince ask her to do the party a solid and make sure Trump doesn’t lose too badly to mitigate down-ballot losses?

Or is she serious in thinking he can win?

Or is she just in it for the money? I have to think the money thing is the least likely factor. Going forward, who is going to hire the lady who tried to salvage the Trump campaign?

She never struck me as a rocket surgeon from her media appearances in the past.

 

Third Party?

Posted: August 18, 2016 by veeshir in Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Obama's Fault, PEBKAC

The scientists at CERN appear to be trying to find a different God Particle! these days.

This chilling mysterious video shows a group of ‘researchers’ at the CERN Large Hadron Collider staging a chilling ‘satanic human sacrifice’ ritual.

The footage shows a group of cloaked men gathering in a courtyard around a statue at the facility in Geneva, Switzerland.

 

They use the old, I was joking, defense.

But CERN has declared that the video is fake, and claims that the ritual was simply researchers and scientists coming to work at the facility ‘taking their sense of humour too far.’

 

Yeah, whatever.

Vid

 

So….. harmless fun or calling in Cthulhu, Stay Puft, Beelzebub or even, be still my beating heart, Zombie Reagan? Any of you physicist types know who/what they could be calling?

I’d vote for any viable destructor truthfully. The two we have running now are just not my cup of hemlock.

 

Only semi-related, our current, retired, destructor is too busy 4-putting to actually pay attention to any Americans not useful for pushing his agenda.

Which leads us to a question,

Which of these should be on Air Force 1?

This one

rretired 2

 

Or this one

rretired 1

 

That’s a poser, huh?

A poser over a poseur. There’s a joke in there but it’s on us so I’m not looking for it.

 

A few I  NY (Post) links.

I don’t love this story though.

A courageous 6-year-old boy who fought off a man who tried to rape his mother was stabbed to death by the fiend

He was going to rape mom, outside, in broad daylight as she was walking her kids to school.

Absolutely horrible. I don’t know what they’re going to do to this guy, but since it probably won’t involve starving coyotes it won’t be enough.

 

A coupla palate washers.

First, I deplore this, I mean, it’s just terrible.

was allegedly attempting to have sex Tuesday with a parked van in Dayton, Ohio,

 

A van? Seriously? If you’re gonna rape a car, it should be a Miata. Those little teases are asking for it.

Lest you think that some alcohol was involved,

He had also been swinging from a nearby stop sign.

After his tryst, Henson appeared to pass out in a neighbor’s lawn…

A lot of alcohol was involved.

 

Now this is the funniest global warmmongering thing I’ve read in years. I’d say since 2003-05 when the Goracle predicted the demise of the North Pole that year. 06 or so is when he started saying, “In 5 years!”.

July was actually the hottest month on Earth ever, according to the latest data from NASA’s Goddard Institute for Space Studies,

 

EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EVER!!!!! Now what do you have to say you denier?

 

EVER!!!!!! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Ummmmm, ever? Really? Ever?

You cannot know that.

At best, all we know for sure is if it was the hottest month since the 80s.

At normal, it’s a blatant lie so I’m sure in the near future we’ll see some ‘corrections’ that will receive absolutely no coverage.

 

To Shiba And Beyond!

Posted: August 17, 2016 by veeshir in Funniest End of Civilization Evah, GOP Win!

I broke down and got a laptop yesterday, a used Toshiba. I had very good luck with a Toshiba once (to go with bad luck on a used one).

So what do I see upon re-entering the tubes? Stinky fish on the way toward my face.

House Republicans have detailed perjury allegations against Hillary Clinton, citing the apparent conflict between her 2015 congressional testimony about her email practices and the FBI’s conclusions announced in July,

Okay, so what are they gonna do about it?

The Justice (sic) Department Assistant Attorney General for Legislative Affairs, Peter Kadzik, confirmed in an Aug. 2 letter to both committees they had the perjury investigation request and the department would “take appropriate action as necessary.”

“appropriate action” being filing it in the circular file, after they wipe their asses on it (the “Justice” Dept is out of Constitution brand toilet paper).

Jebus, is anybody besides Foxnews really buying into all the hearings and perjury deals and the other shit they’re doing?

Recall the Congressional GOP are ‘impeaching’ Koskinen!!!!!

From May.

The House Judiciary Committee is trying to conclude the case against IRS chief John Koskinen, seven months after Rep. Jason Chaffetz, Utah Republican, filed a resolution seeking his impeachment.

Impeachment Theater!!!!!!!!!!

Jebus, is the GOP fighting anybody but me and Donald Trump?

 

Oh, and some new truth from the first article, We’ve always been at war…I mean

 “In his testimony today, Comey has reconciled most every apparent contradiction between his remarks Tuesday and Clinton’s public statements,” Clinton spokesman Brian Fallon said on Twitter.

Adjust your memory accordingly.

 

 

Since I mentioned Caballero, you might remember a month and a half ago I mentioned that I had found a new mechanic to put my Caballero together and he said 3 1/2 weeks.

Well, I talked to him after 4 weeks and he said he was almost done and would work on it over the weekend (almost word for word what the previous asshole had said).

Then, he apparently didn’t do any work on it for 2 weeks, he wouldn’t return my calls and there was never anybody at his shop. When he finally called me, it was to tell me that he wasn’t sure when he’d be able to work on the car but he seemed to imply weeks and I was being unreasonable expecting him to actually do what he promised.

He also said all he had to do was connect the transmission and the headers and if I wasn’t happy with him I could pick my car up.

Sigh, I took it to another mechanic who looked at it and told me that all the shit on top  was screwed up, the pulleys didn’t match up so the belts wouldn’t go on, the intake manifold was screwed up (it shouldn’t have been touched), and other stuff. In other words, shit that had been done was wrong, like mounting the power steering pump and a/c, and has to be redone and stuff that was done by the manufacturer so they could run it (like the carb/manifold) was undone.

At this rate, the car will be down to the frame by 2017.

I’ve worked with this guy before so I should have brought it to him to start, but the people I used (Used me) were supposed to be experienced engine installation types according to people I know. The last guy supposedly did it for race cars “all the time”.

So….maybe two more weeks. A car that could have/should have been done by 6/15 will hopefully be done by September. The car I bought so I could let my Mustang sit for the summer.

Uckfay.

Unexpectedly!

Posted: August 5, 2016 by veeshir in Funniest End of Civilization Evah, PEBKAC

Important Update Below!!!!

We’ve all been hoping for SMOD, but what if we were looking at the wrong space?

We’re ALL GONNA DIE!!!! not by outer space but by inner space!

…a small purple orb tucked halfway under a rock off the coast of California.

Researchers are so far stumped as to what the colorful, bumpy little ball might be…

 

Yeah, see, I read stuff, I watch the History Channel, I know what’s going on.

I read this documentary by a guy named Larry Niven that some scientists say could explain some important stuff, and he explained all about it.

A reflective statue is found at the bottom of one of Earth’s oceans, having lain there for 1.5 billion years….

…shutting off the stasis field and revealing Kzanol… a Thrint… a telepathic race that once ruled the galaxy through the Power (mind control).

to enable a single Thrint to control every thinking being in the Solar System.

So we might have that going for us.

Unless…..that could explain Hillary!.

Maybe the Power doesn’t work on all people, just the dim and/or corrupt.

 

Important Update Here!!!!!!!!

I wuz wrong, cultural suicide it is. This is about the kid who yelled stuff and threw stuff at the Munich shooter.

The plucky German also hurled a beer bottle at the attacker in a desperate attempt to stop him.

He said: “All I had was a beer bottle to throw at him, but if I had a gun I would have shot him in the head.”…

Now, in a twist of German justice, Mr Salbey is now facing charges for standing up to the killer who shot himself in the head.

Florian Weinzierl, spokesman from the Munich State Prosecutor’s office, confirmed the Munich resident is being investigated….

 

 

And they aren’t even hiding it anymore.

State spokestool should really practice keeping a straight face if he’s going to keep that job.

 

 

Unrelated except in that all  segments of the Dem political/media/entertainment complex are becoming increasingly transparent.

This wymyn is all over teh world records and I’m sure you’ve all heard all about her in glowing tribute after hagiography. She’s

…broken some pretty unique Olympic records during her years of competing. She’s the only American to win individual medals in five straight Olympics – only American at all, …. Her presence in Rio also makes her the only American Olympian to compete on 5 continents. Beyond American records, she is the only woman to win three Olympic golds in…

In addition to holding records, she’s overcome challenges that many Olympians would find it hard to overcome – like having her specialized sport discontinued and being forced to take up a new one. Her prized equipment was stolen at one point.

 

Yup, I’m sure her name is on the tip of your tongue.

Oh, I notice I missed some stuff in my cuttn n pastn, there should be the word, “shooting” in there a few times.

Can’t make that sort of woman a role model.

So…. minitrue much?

To make it funnier, as I was writing this the “Do you think I can’t do this because I’m a wymyns?”  commercial came on.

Perfecto.

Via Uncle

I published this then unpublished it because I meant to write about this.

I watched the original version of Walking Tall last night, I’m not sure if I’m happy about that. I haven’t seen it in probably 15-20 years. I remember it was good, but not how good.

You see, I like the version with the Rock (I like most the Rock movies)but I think I can say without hyperbole that the original was 10 trillions times better.

For those who don’t know, it was based on a real story, the movie showed about what you’d expect of deepest Tennessee in the 60s, the women weren’t all models, the men looked and talked like rednecks, the casino was a couple tables in a bar somewhere on a dirt road. It was also filmed in 73, I would give just about anything to go have my pick of cars…drooooool. Big blocks shoving 2 1/2 tons of Detroit steel down the road gives me a chubby.

His wife was murdered in a hit attempt on him, the funeral scene was very powerful. As he was lying in the hospital after the hit, his 8 or so year old son walked in with a pump shotgun and box of shells to stand guard. nobody said squat.

He also made a black man a deputy, there’s actually a darn funny scene when he tells the black man to arrest a bunch of good ole boy rednecks bothering the ‘black’ bar.

Now that I’ve seen the old one, I realize the Rock’s remake was barely better a representation than Starship Troopers, it did little more than mine the original for some names and the gist of the plot, I just don’t think I’ll be able to watch it anymore.

It’s been leached of all its heart.